SATIRE: WM Booking Meeting
Wrestlemania Booking meeting:
Vince: We should put Ryder over tonight.
HHH: Vince, that ship sailed about 4 years ago.
Vince: You're crazy. The wait will just make them savor his journey.
HHH: Vince, he hasn't won a match in 4 years!
Vince: A true underdog story! Book that shit!
HHH: This may not be the best idea...
Vince: And then, Jericho goes over Styles!
HHH: I think you're running the risk of turning the crowd on the show, pop.
Vince: It's alright. We can piss them off all night. I've got the perfect way to get the crowd back.
HHH: How?
Vince: Before the main event, we'll send The Rock out with a flamethrower!
HHH: We are soooooo fucked.
Vince: What was that?
HHH: Nothing. What next?
Vince: And then, the League of Nations beats the New Day!
HHH: Why?
Vince: Because afterwards, they'll cut a promo about how great they are and get beat up by Shawn, Mick, and Steve!
HHH: That... Could actually work. Next?
Vince: Then Brock goes over Ambrose.
HHH: Obviously.
Vince: but let's make the match about 5 minutes shorter than it should be and give it an anticlimactic finish!
HHH: I'm not sure about this...
Vince: It's okay! The Rock! Flamethrower!
HHH: (groans)
Vince: Then Charlotte retains!
HHH: Sasha is on fire, pop.
Vince: But her dad isn't Ric Flair!
HHH: But her cousin is Snoop Dogg.
Vince: You know... We should get him to rap her to the ring.
HHH: I agree. So she goes over?
Vince: Hell no. Charlotte does.
HHH: (begins weeping)
Vince: And then Taker beats Shane!
HHH: If Shane loses, doesn't that make the whole "We admit that our product sucks" storyline harmful to business?
Vince: Nobody will remember that! Shane is doing an elbow drop from the cell to the announce table!
HHH: Have you really thought this through? That could be dangerous.
Vince: And if that doesn't make them forget, we still have The Rock. With a flamethrower!
HHH: It was a good run.
Vince: What?
HHH: Nothing.
Vince: Now to the main event...
HHH: What about the battle royal?
Vince: Nobody cares about that. Shaq is in it, though. Have one of those NPC guys win.
HHH: You mean NXT?
Vince: Yeah, them.
HHH: (Eyes a sledgehammer longingly.)
Vince: You know... I think The Rock with a flamethrower may not be the right call...
HHH: Thank god.
Vince: on it's own. He should squash the Wyatt family too.
HHH: WHAT!?!?!?!
Vince: It'll be great! Then we can bring CENA back just to make sure they don't get ANY offense in!
HHH: I wonder how much my stock is worth?
Vince: What was that?
HHH: (mumbles incoherently)
Vince: Now... The main event. Roman beats you clean.
HHH: Alright.
Vince: You don't have a problem with that?
HHH: Nope.
Vince: Anything you want to happen out there?
HHH: Yes. I want him to spear Stephanie.
Vince: YEAH! That'll get a huge pop.
HHH: Huh... I guess it will. That's totally why I want to do it. It has NOTHING to do with wanting a reason to be off TV for the next few months...
