TNA Impact Report / Results - 31st May, 2016

TNA Impact Report / Results - 31st May, 2016

The show opens with Dixie Carter backstage talking to someone we can't see, and she apparently had to talk Billy Corgan into letting this person have control of the show for the night to keep things in order. Because it's not like she owns the f'ing company or anything, so it makes sense that she's need his approval, right?

We see a video package of what happened in last week's main event, then we go to the arena where Mike Bennett and Maria open the show. He's been trying to get in touch with Dixie through everything from Twitter on down to AOL Instant Messenger, but neither he nor his wife have heard from Dixie. They both think they should be in charge tonight, but they want whoever is in charge tonight to come out to the ring. EC3 comes out of the back and says that Mike Bennett reneged on their deal, so he wants to tell Bennett that the match is on for Slammiversary, and he wants Bennett at his best at Slammiversary so he can feel defeat there. Bennett says EC3 has already failed at running the show, but if EC3 wants to give him the night off, that's fine by him. EC3 says he has the night off from wrestling, but not old-fashioned blue collar work. EC3 brings out the janitor and says that it was Taco Tuesday in catering, and he can get to cleaning the toilets. Maria says he can't do that, but EC3 says he can do whatever he wants, and he will be performing Maria's performance review tonight as head of the Knockouts Division. Gail Kim's going to come out here, and we'll see if she really deserves the position. He kicks Bennett and Maria out of the ring, but Bennett says no, so EC3 says unless he wants to have Slammiversary right now, he better get his ass out of this ring. Bennett says he'll leave, but only because he wants to leave. The fans do "na-na-na-na-hey-hey-goodbye" as the Bennetts leave, and Bennett kicks the mop bucket out of the way on his way through the entry way. He's barely out of sight when Bobby Lashley comes out to the ring and says that, since EC3 keeps sticking his nose in his business, he'll stick his nose in EC3's, and he'll thpear hith ath into nextht week. EC3 says he won't be doing anything with Lashley, because he delegated his plans for Lashley to Drew Galloway. Drew comes out to the ring as we go to commercial.

Backstage:
Hilarity ensues as EC3 visits Mike Bennett in the locker room and gives him a hard time while he mops the men's room and points out the kinds of things he'll need to clean out of the toilets.

Back to the arena, where Drew Galloway says that since Lashley wants to go first, he'll introduce his opponent, the Chesterfield Plague, BRAM!


Bobby Lashley vs Bram

They tie up and match power, then slug it out with Bram getting the advantage. They go out to the floor where Lashley gets the advantage and rams Bram into the barricade, but they go back inside and Bram takes back over with a running knee and a clothesline for 2. Bram with a leg lariat for 2, Lashley with a spinebuster and a clothesline, but Bram dares him to give him more. Lashley with another clothesline, then he goes to the floor and gets a chair that he bashes Bram with.

Winner: Bram by DQ

After the match
Lashley is undeterred by the loss, and plows through Bram with a spear. Lashley hits another spear, but Drew Galloway runs in with a chair and chases Lashley off. Lashley goes over the rail into the crowd, and Galloway tosses the chair after him before chasing him to the back.

Suddenly, Eli Drake runs out with his Cheap Win Briefcase, and cashes it in.


King of the Mountain Title Match
Bram vs Eli Drake

Eli quickly goes for a cover, but Bram kicks out at 2. He tries to take the briefcase back, but the referee won't let him, and Bram starts firing back. Drake shuts that down and rams a series of shoulderblocks and knees into Bram's ribs in the corner. Drake is a man possessed as he pummels Bram's ribs, and a kneelift/clothesline combo puts Bram down for 3.

Winner and New King Of The Mountain Champion: Eli Drake


The Bromans are sitting by the pool and Jessie says that Raquel is hot, but wonders what she'll do to help them become champions. Robbie is still adamant that she's going to get them there, and Raquel comes in wearing a golden bikini and tells them to focus. She struts around the pool and Jessie suddenly understand what she means by focusing.

Backstage:
EC3 checks in on Mike Bennett in the men's room, and he gets grossed out by Earl Hebner taking a dump. EC3 tells Hebner to hand Bennett a referee shirt because he's refereeing tonight.


We go to the Matt Hardy Estate, where Jeff is showing up on his dirt bike to witness Matt signing the contract for their match at Slammiversary.

Backstage:
Eli Drake is backstage celebrating with some champagne with stagehands, who he pours drinks for before slapping the drinks out of their hands.


We go to the Matt Hardy Estate, where Matt Hardy talks about how this needed to be documented so we could witness the beginning of Brother Nero's personal Armageddon.

Mike Bennett is in the zebra stripes to referee the next match...


Tyrus & Rockstar Spud vs The Bromans

The Bromans have Raquel in their corner, and this was pretty much what you expect: Spud struggles against the Bromans until Tyrus comes in and turns the tide. Robbie plays babyface-in-peril until making the hot tag, they hit the Brodown, and Jessie gets the Adonis Crab on Spud. Spud taps out and Bennett eventually calls for the bell.

Winners: The Bromans


Backstage:
We go backstage where Maria is complaining about EC3 to Billy Corgan on her cell phone, but EC3 comes in and hangs up the phone on her. Maria demands to know if Gail Kim is going to be fired for attacking her last week, and EC3 says he'll figure this out in the ring tonight.

EC3 sits Maria down at ringside as we start our next match...


Gail Kim & Jade vs Allie & Sienna

Allie is scared to death of Gail, who mercilessly pummels Maria's poor assistant until she scurries to the corner and tags Sienna in. Sienna has better luck, but only momentarily until Jade and Gail double team Sienna and Jade hits a bridging German suplex for 2. Jade and Gail hit some pretty sweet double teams until Sienna tosses them both to the mat and goes back to beating Gail up. Allie tags in and gets a few shots in, but Gail kicks her and she runs right back to the corner to tag Sienna in. Gail tags Jade in, and the Knockouts Champion unloads with a series of martial arts kicks and covers for 2. Allie tags in and gets knocked on her ass, Gail flattens Sienna with Eat DaFeet, and Jade hits the package piledriver and covers Allie for the win.

Winners: Jade & Gail Kim


Back to the Matt Hardy Estate, where Jeff bumps into Reby as he gets to the house, and Reby is getting out of here with Maxel because she wants no part of what's about to happen. Jeff walks in and finds Matt playing the piano, and tells Matt to sign the contract and asks what he's so afraid of. Matt says this needs to end where it began, and tells Jeff to follow him.

Back to the ring where Mike Bennett has come out while his wife is still standing ringside looking unhappy. Bennett says enough is enough, he's done cleaning toilets and refereeing, because he and Maria are superstars. He's the best wrestler in the world, and nobody comes close, so this is through. EC3 says we're not done because he told Bennett he wasn't wrestling tonight, but he's a pathological liar. He's got an opponent for EC3, and it'll be a miracle if he shows up sober.


Mike Bennett vs James Storm

Storm jumps Bennett at ringside, then they head into the ring where he continues the assault. Storm puts his sunglasses on Bennett and punches him in the face, but Bennett nails him with a clothesline and puts the boots to him. Storm sits in a chinlock for a bit and then mounts a babyface comeback and hits the Eye of the Storm for 2. Storm hits Closing Time and sets up for the Last Call, but Maria gets up on the apron with Storm's beer bottle. He takes it back, but she slaps him in the face and Bennett rolls Storm up with a handful of tights for the win.

Winner: Mike Bennett

After the match
Ethan Carter III comes out to the top of the ramp and tells Bennett that he's burning Bennett's church down at Slammiversary, but first, he's getting a kick to the face. Bennett turns around and walks right into the Last Call from Storm.


Al Snow is in the ring, and he knows everyone is thanking him for saving wrestling, and introduces his friends, the Tribunal. It's the guys who helped him beat Grado last week. One of them says they know about fighting and getting their way, and now they fight for Al Snow. The other guy says that as judge, jury, and executioner, they will bring the true flame of...Dillon? I couldn't makeout what he said, but Snow says we're looking at professional athletes who don't have to rely on weapons or gimmicks like Grado. He just needed one wrestling move to beat Grado, and he shows us the clip to prove what he says. Grado and Mahabali Shera come out to the ramp, and Grado calls Snow a liar, then shows the rest of the clip to show Snow cheating to win. Snow says he's their mom's favorite wrestler, and they run into the ring and get their asses kicked by the Tribunal.

Braxton Sutter (otherwise known as Pepper Parks) gets a video package saying it came really late in the game for him, but after having doors slammed in his face for years, he finally got his TNA contract, and that made all the years of sacrifice worth it.

Back to the Hardy summit, where Matt takes Jeff out back to his...gigantic shed, and he's standing in a wrestling ring that he says is where it all began and where it all will end. Jeff doesn't look happy.

Drew Galloway comes out to the ring for the main event, and Bobby Lashley comes out and introduces his opponents...Decay!


Drew Galloway (c) vs Decay

Drew gets swarmed by all three members of Decay, and the fight spills out to the floor where Drew tries to hold his own, but gets overwhelmed and plowed into the ringsteps by Abyss. Drew gets rolled into the ring where he takes a beating from Abyss and Crazzzzzzzzzzzzy Steve until he takes them both out with a double clothesline. Drew mounts a comeback, goes for the Future Shock DDT on Rosemary, but gets distracted by Steve and suplexes him. Abyss comes in and chokeslams Drew for 2, and Lashley runs in while the referee has his back turned and goes for a spear, but Drew sidesteps and sends Lashley crashing into Abyss, then clotheslines Lashley to the floor and hits Steve with the Future Shock for the win.

Winner: Drew Galloway

After the match
Drew flips Lashley off for good measure.

Back to the Hardy Summit, where Jeff and Matt are in the Old Ring Barn and Matt finally signs the contract. Jeff wants to fight Big Money Matt right now, but Reby comes in and throws her baby at Jeff...except it's not the real baby, it's just a doll! Matt blindsides Jeff and gives him a Side Effect off the ring apron and through the table he just signed the contract on. Matt says it's over for Brother Nero.

We go to credits.