The "Tell me a joke" Thread

[Role Model]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?






















No idear.

[Kage]

John Cena's wrestling ability :tehe:

[Rob]

It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.

I'm so over not even HHH can bury me.

[OldSchoool]

New drugs for women
D A M N I T O L -----
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N ----
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T ----
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

P E P T O B I M B O ----
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L ----
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R ----
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N ----
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "

BUYAGRA ----
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N ----
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T ----
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T ----
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
Now, send these to any woman who needs a good laugh, and any man who can handle it.

[Role Model]

Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house