Some of my jokes

[Kage]

There's a few raunchy ones in there. So be carefull what you read








A blonde walks into a dry cleaners and drops off a t-shirt. As she's walking out, the asian owner of the dry cleaners says "Come again".

The blonde responds "Nope, toothpaste this time."





A Rabi and a Priest walk into a bar. As they walk in the Rabi shouts "Drinks are on me tonight boys!"

The Priest looks at the Rabi and says "Gee, how are you going to pay for all of those drinks?"

The Rabi says "Oh it's no problem, I did three circumcisions last week."

The Priest looks surprised and says "You must charge a lot for these circumcisions then?"

The Rabi smiles and says "Nope, I just keep the tips."





A little girl and her parents are visiting a ranch. The girl sees a horse, and it's penis hanging from it's body. The girl asks her father "Daddy what's that?"

The Father says "That's the horses penis honey."

The girl looks confused, and says "But Mommy just said that was nothing."

The Dad grins from ear to ear and responds "That's because Mommy's spoiled."




A Mother and her young daughter are showering together. The daughter looks down and says "What's that Mommy?"

The Mother says "That's my garden sweety."

The next day the girl and her Father are showering together. The daughter looks down and asks "What's that Daddy?"

The father says "You'll find out when your mom leaves"




You know whats grosser than one hundred dead babies in a dumpster?

A live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.




You know what's grosser than one dead baby in a dumpster?

One dead baby in three dumpsters.




How do you fit a baby into a test tube?

A blender.

How do you get it back out?

A straw.




Why don't women need watches?

Theres a clock on the stove.




How many men does it take to open a beer?

None, it should be open when it gets there.




How many men does it make to screw in a lightbulb?

None, let the bitch cook in the dark.




What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, she's already been told twice.




How do you turn a dishwasher into a log splitter?

Give that bitch an axe.




What do you call a woman with a dollar on her head?


All you can eat for under a dollar.

[Black Widow]

A blonde walks into a dry cleaners and drops off a t-shirt. As she's walking out, the asian owner of the dry cleaners says "Come again".

The blonde responds "Nope, toothpaste this time."

:rofl: i love that one

[legolas4792]

i dont get the punchline to the one with the little girl showering with the parents

[Kage]

i dont get the punchline to the one with the little girl showering with the parents

It means that the little girl will find out what a penis is when her mom leaves, meaning the dad and the little girl will uhh... you know..

[legolas4792]

i was thinking that but i was hoping that wasnt it lol

[JohnCenaFan28]

LMAO those are good Kage.

[DUKE NUKEM]

nice work thanks for the jokes Kage