The Chikara Blog

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3/7/2011: When you think 3.0, a natural association that comes to mind is “street cred.” It almost goes hand in hand with the names Scott Parker and Shane Matthews.

Recently, “Big Magic” and I used our “juice” on the streets and got some very interesting information. You see, we got a “guy” who “may or may not know a certain something about a certain wrestling promotion that, may or may not, be in the process of introducing a certain 'Golden Pants Fastener'.” I know this is a big inside scoop, so Shane and myself felt the need to share this with the CHIKARA fans. But if anyone asks, you didn’t hear this from us.

On that note, I’m gonna go ahead and start a campaign. I want everyone to know that I will cast my vote for someone that you guys probably wouldn’t expect. As of this moment, I nominate...I can’t believe I’m actually gonna do this...I want to nominate...wait for it...wait for it...Mr. Shane Matthews!

I just got off the phone with my ol’ buddy to inform him of my nomination. Seeing as I record all of our phone conversations, here’s a written transcript of how this one went.

J: “YEAH Buddy! I just wanted to give you a heads up...”

S:”I’M READY DADDY!!!!!!”

J: “Ummm. Ok? Ready for what, exactly?”

S: “OHHHH YEAAHHHH I AM REEEEADY!!!!!!”

J: “Riiiiiight. Did you just have a Red Bull?”

S: “HOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!! JUST HAD THE BIG CAN OF RED BULL AND LET ME TELL YA, I AM PUMPED UP! YEEEAAH!!” *click*

J: “Hello?”



I know, sometimes, Shane gets really excited and it’s hard to understand exactly what he means. Especially after he’s gotten a Red Bull in his system. It’s almost like the highly intelligent Bruce Banner turning into the slightly less eloquent Hulk. But I digress. After nearly 20 years of friendship I’ve broken down the subtleties of his boisterousness into something most people can actually understand. So here’s a brief translation of the conversation above.

Shane: “Oh wow. Really? You really voted for me? I can’t believe it. If I were to sum up my emotions I would have to say that I am both deeply touched by your gesture and yet mildly thunderstruck. Thank you. I will not let you down. I am both excited and prepared for this oppertunity. I would also like to return the favor and place a nomination for you, my dearest friend.”

So there you have to folks! Get out your number 2 pencils. Head on over to the booths and get your vote on. It may also be a good idea to vote “other” spot and put in one of those fun little Hollywood couple names like “Sh-agged” or “Par-Thews”. Both of those are terrible examples but the idea behind it is money. CHIKARMY, let’s get together and do this as one. Or as 3....Point 0.

Booyah!
S'J'P

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3/9/2011: Four seconds! Four seconds is all it took for my hot streak of pummeling former Young Lions Cup champions to come to an end. Fire Ant, STIGMA, Equinox, Jigsaw, Hallowicked, Arik Cannon, all destroyed but not you, Max Boyer! Was it 'cause you were better than me? Cause you locked on some cool Canadian submission hold? No. You beat me 'cause that pumpkinhead ambushed me in the back, interrupting another classic Donst interview segment.

It should have been a great moment for me. Standing over you, saying things like “Told ya BDK was better than the Kings of Wrestling,” “Your total title defenses don’t mean anything anymore” or “How about them Bangles?” But instead all I got was a loss, the pages of my scrapbook ripped and stolen by you hyenas to probably sell on eBay and a “5 Star match” chant. Are you freakin’ kidding me? I haven’t had a match less than 8 stars my entire career!



But smashing your face isn’t the only thing I’m looking forward to in our trios match at “Operation Big Freeze,” Hallowicked. Oh no! I also get to beat up your little pal Frightmare. Hey green guy, I know you don’t speak English good like the rest of us but try to understand this, I DONT CARE THAT YOU'VE TIED BOYER’S YLC DEFENSE RECORD, YOU'RE GOING TO CHOKE............AGAIN! haha lolz no, jk.

And than there’s you Quack. Don’t you talk to your buddy Jigsaw on a regular bases? Texting, Skyping, anything? Perhaps he would have told you how I gave him the ole’ STO. How I nearly broke his back with my Gator Roll. How his half of the tag team titles looked great in my hand. Maybe since he needs the night off in Williamsport to make sure he's 100% for Brooklyn the next day, he'll have time to fill you in on all his aches and pains. Poor guy.

I already held and proved that I’m the greatest YLC champion there ever was. I already pinned one half of the Campeones de Parejas in just a few minutes. I think it’s time for those belts to come back to the BDK, around my waist. I respect the fact that the very wise Claudio Castagnoli will not participate in this year's King of Trios tournament, but in Williamsport, I'll get to see what kind of partner Sara Del Rey will make. Maybe there will be a spot for her on my King of Trios championship team.

See ya in the ring!

TD

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3/10/2011: When you have a big mouth and you have a few Red Bulls, sometimes it can get you in a messy situation or two. It’ll come as no surprise when I admit that 3.0 have been guilty of talking too much...on one or two occasions. We made a career off of our big mouths. (That and my awesome high flying abilities!)

Ya see UnStable, we made a mistake. I have no trouble admitting that. We’ve never had any issues with you guys in the past, in fact the mere mention of your names would cause indifference to run wild throughout my body. Sometimes when you aren’t the most talented wrestlers in the world you gotta do something extra, a little somethin' to find an edge. That’s exactly what we did when we locked horns last month in Reading, PA. “Da Jag Man” and myself decided to have some fun, lighten the mood a little, and try to gain a competitive edge. (Maybe even put a smile on your miserable faces) It worked! We won. Thing is, we’re greedy for fun daddy!!! We wanted to have a little more fun at your expense - that’s just the kind of guys we are. We like to laugh at people. So, the next afternoon in Easton we ruined your match to amuse ourselves.



Fast forward 20 minutes and we were on top of the world, smiling because we had just gained our third point! But it was short-lived. Right as we were ready to board the Canadian Freight Train to the Promised Land (or something like that,) you two took it upon yourselves to ensure the train never left the station by costing us the match (thus erasing our points.) That doesn’t sit well with me and the boys...I mean Da Jag Man. That’s when things got real, that’s when things got real flippin' real!

I’m not a dumb guy and I realise that Scotty “Da Jag Man” Parker and myself started this whole thing by putting our foot in our mouths and for that, I am sorry. Vin, STIGMA, come Williamsport on March 12th, 3.0 has a little gift for The UnStable to show you just how sorry we are. Truce? ;)

Big Magic comin' at ya!
SM

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3/11/2011: Wow.

Word on the street is a singles title is comin' to CHIKARA and all of a sudden, everybody is a politician. Since when did votes mean more than points? That's all I'm hearing these days. Everybody is obsessed with votes, to the point where even Vin Gerard is trying to be a social butterfly now.

"Butterfly" may be too kind...even they clean themselves.

I digress, the locker room is now an election house and I can't say I'm pleased by this. I didn't pick the system.

-Inserts part where you ask, "Well, how would you have done it?"-

Elementary my dear broham. I'm an athlete. A scrapper. An earner. Save the popularity contests for beauty pagents and weak reality shows. Playoff champion or 1st Curse victim, let me EARN my place. I see a locker room of men I respect and men I despise, but they're chance for singles immortality shouldn't be based on lip service and a majority vote. Let Kingston backfist his way to glory. Or Green Ant use his heart and sheer will to best anyone in front of him. I'd even accept Brodie Lee using "excesivo de castigo" levels of stank to get to the title...

..at least then it'd be based on may the best man win. Skill.

The Bulls won NBA titles by stuffing the hoop, not a ballot box. But again, this ain't my steez. The order has come down and this is how it's gonna be.



Now, you're probably expecting me to give you my case. Somehow flip this into a Sugar D vote.

"BELIEVE IN SUGAR D!"

"SLAM DUNK YOUR VOTE!"

Inventive right? I got a slogan for you. It's actually a mash of the two I just said.

"Believe In Your Vote."

It's not catchy. That doesn't make it any less effective. When you make your vote, vote for who you believe could beat you at any given time. Vote for the person that makes you sweat when you see their name across from theirs. Not everyone will do this. But keep in mind, the opportunity at this title if for an elite few. IF you get your chance; do you want your peers and the CHIKARMY at large to question if you were worthy? Will you be able to say you beat men OR women where the very thought of the outcome left you nervous? This is OUR championship. The big one. Whoever takes this thing is going to represent our company in a way the Young Lions Cup can't. The SAME way our Campeonatos de Parejas are considered THE tag titles to win...this belt should mean the same thing. Whoever wins it is carrying CHIKARA on their back.

History lesson. My last singles match was against "The Big Rig," Brodie Lee. He definitely won.

But definitely NOT by a 3 count. Definitely NOT without a fight. Definitely NOT without a desperation in his eyes I've never seen before. We had a magic moment mere seconds before your boot 86'ed my face, big man. It was a look in your eyes that screamed out.

"I CAN'T GET IT DONE."

So you took the easy way out. 20 count on the floor. After EVERYTHING you hit me with, you took the most indecisive way out. So when I see you writing blogs (A surprise to me might I add. HE CAN WRITE EVERYBODY! Clap for him!) talking about how unstoppable you've been; did you take a pause long enough to try to believe your lie? Did it occur to you that your "easy night" was one of the craziest brawls you've ever had? Could you have got the job done if there was no count-outs?

I guess that's in doubt. We'll have our time later, but to my point...

There's a lot of guys in that locker room that need to wake up and wipe the crust out of their eyes. They're sleeping on Slam McNasty in a huge way. I don't expect to be anybody's 1st draft pick and a longshot when compared to the laundry list of talent that exists in the CHIKARA locker room. But if I can put the fear into Brodie Lee, you best believe I'll make you second guess your opinion if you meet me in the paint.

Don't believe me? All those questions and more get answered at the price of one vote.

Try me!
SD

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3/16/2011: The Osirian Portal is ssstronger than ever now. Since adding Hieracon to our ranksss, we’ve been undefeated as a trio! The Pharaoh of Funk and The Birdman have even gained a point toward title contention. With all this momentum on our side, The Osirian Portal is ready to take on any and all challengessss!

There is one challenge in the distance that I speak of ssspecifically. CHIKARA is crowning its first ever champion. With enough votes, one can qualify to be in the running. As for me, I must vote in favor of the Pharoah - my partner is truly one of the most underrated athletes active today. But "the Venomous and Vile Serpent from the Nile" has a tassste for gold as well!



Why would another CHIKARA ssstar vote for me? I am more than qualified. After all, I am one half of the youngest Campeones De Parejas in CHIKARA history! The 2010 Rey de Voladores Champion! ...and soon to be the King of Trios 2011 champion! If you disagree with that, I know of a couple million people spread across the foreign lands of the Internet that can back me up!

There is a piece missing from the Pyramid The Portal is building. We’ve discovered that piece. Allow me to compete for that Championship, the missing piece. Once I capture it, the gold will be displayed atop that Pyramid for the world to see. An eye is upon you CHIKARA - an eye ready to blink. So face forward, with ballotsss in hand and Ophidian on your mind. Your champion has arrived. Are you ready to go? Because when it comes down to the get down, I’m always ready to put in some work.

Oh Yesssssssss!

OPHIDIAN

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3/18/2011: 3.0, you wanted to make us laugh, huh?

Since Sunday, I haven't been able to stop laughing.



Thanks.

Mission Accomplished.

VG