Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" its "Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hill, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room, Lindas Bar and Grill Chapel Hill, North Carolina

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort,Dallas,Texas

Express Lane: Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA

Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, I