Nikki Bella says it would ‘kill’ her to see ex John Cena move on with another woman.

The 35-year-old admitted to this in the finale episode of Total Bellas as she and her sister Brie Bella visited Napa Valley in California, the place where she was supposed to tie the knot with Cena.

“This is the first time I’ve been back in Napa since my big breakup and I just immediately get all those memories, but, a part of me is like okay Nicole, now you have to make new memories,” Nikki said.

The return to Napa brought a lot of past memories about her ex. “I think that’s why I was crying so much yesterday. I feel like it was the first time I just fully was starting my true grieving and healing process,” she says. The two broke up in July 2018 after staying 6 years together.

Although Nikki has moved on and is currently dating her former Dancing with the Stars partner Artem Chigvinstev, she admits that it would hurt her to see Cena move on and find someone new.

“No matter what, the next time I see him with someone it’s going to kill me,” she says. “I still have a long way to go. But honestly, I’m ready for a new me. I need it. You know what I feel like I need to do? I need to start living as if I don’t care whether it’s my ex or anyone else watching me and afraid to hurt their feelings.”

Nikki said that she just wants to “move forward.” She has been ‘casually dating’ Chigvintsev since January.

John Cena, on the other hand, is currently not scheduled to appear at WrestleMania and there is no clear creative plan for him at the moment. Though replacing Baron Corbin in Kurt Angle’s last match is being considered a possibility for him at WrestleMania 35.