April Hunter comments on her recent tour of France

April, In Paris...

Hi! Sorry if this is cryptic, but I’m still a bit tired and sick. I just got back from my first time in Paris . By day, the city seems somewhat dusty, dirty and cluttered, but at night it definitely lives up its stunning “City Of Lights ” moniker. GORGEOUS.

I got off the plane at 10 a.m. after an overcrowded, red eye flight…I had to surrender about half my carry-on stuff due to new, even weirder TSA regulations; hadn’t slept, was sans perfume and night creme…and why does nearly every TSA agent know who I am? I NEVER get recognized unless I’m either in trouble and/or have no makeup on.

Anyway, the twelve-hour trip wasn’t in vain. As soon as I got out of the airport, I went right to the show and wrestled three matches. Two were loooongggg. I must have been overtired, because I was feeling pretty awful that day. After wrestling Germans, Brits and Italians, I'm very happy to say I won the Queens of Chaos tournament - and am officially their first non-European champion! Americans are taking over, babeeee! (OK, sorry, but I just really wanted to write that and never had the opportunity to before.)

To be honest, wrestling tends to have an overabundance of drama, politics and lying while not having enough $$$ to make it worthy of putting up with, and this unbalanced equation has made it not that much fun lately. But I got to work a bunch of really talented European and British athletes I don’t normally get to work and that alone rocked. Plus the fans at the venue were a blast. They were yelling and screaming before the show even started. I saw people who came from as far as England , Netherlands and Germany for this show, which was wicked! For more results and downloads: http://www.queensofchaoswrestling.com/index_site.html

Christy Hemme was my referee – and my roommate – we had an awesome time around town. (Not to mention, she’s come along a fair bit and can stand on her own two feet in the ring.) For those who don’t follow wrestling, she’s a vivacious redhead who is a former centerfold model-turned-wrestler whom many think “you look like sisters!”

The promoters dropped us off at a cute little hotel in downtown Paris in the Clichy area after the show and headed back to Toulouse, so we were more or less left to our own devices.

I was a little nervous about being able to get around and find my way back to the airport…amongst other things, Paris is known for rude people, disdain for Americans and impatient waiters, but I was shocked how many people were helpful and spoke English to us (when asked in FRENCH if they speak English first.) We managed fine.

America vs. France …Observations.

The girls thought the coffee was like ‘rocket fuel’ in France . I liked it. It was a bit on the thick side, but that’s better than the weak stuff any day. Also the comment is always made that one can sit and enjoy their table at a café as long as they want – you are never kicked out to seat another like in the USA . But what people forget is that you PAY for that privilege. A small cafe latte or cappuccino costs 5 euros, which translates to about $7-$8 per cup. And it’s SMALL.

* France is one of the places where you can have croissants for breakfast, lunch and dinner. If you miss the specific mealtimes (lunch is 12-2, dinner is 7-10pm), that’s all you’ll be able to find in the interim. There was also an alarming lack of soap in pubic bathrooms.

*Sick of croissants, we found a street vendor was selling roasted chestnuts on the proverbial open fire. And they were friggin’ phenominal. This is a seriously underrated treat.

*Everyone was aware of our recent election turnover. “Ah, fine-al-lee. Americaines get zere head out of ze bottom, wee?”

LOL. Oui.

*Black people in Paris don’t wear oversized anything. No pants hanging off the tush. No swimming in massive hoodies. Many seem to listen to hip hop and rap but their clothing fits.

*The French security at the airport was very polite, thanked us for our patience and gave us ziplock bags for our stuff, unlike the American side, who told me, “Tough. Get out of this line and go downstairs, stand in their long line to check it somehow – your problem, not ours -, then start over in our very long line once again” was the basic reply when I asked for a suggestion. So being as though that was the standard answer in Philadelphia , I’d needlessly braced myself for doubly anticipated rudeness of France's TSA .

*The first hotel we stayed in was constructed pretty badly. You could hear every neighbors’ conversation and the pipes creaked and groaned loudly every time water was used. I managed to flood the bathroom in our first hotel by simply taking a shower. The water leaked through the wall into the bedroom, soaking the floor and our bags. It was awesome.

But this was the same hotel where the guy at the bar refused to make all fourteen of us any food at 11:30 p.m. post show, despite a sign that announced “24/7 menu available!” He even turned his back and walked away from us when we showed him the sign, so I didn’t feel too badly. Repeat after me, s’il vous plait: “Wank-er.”

More Differences…The men aren’t Latin-aggressive, but they’re pretty close. There were several times we had to cross the street to avoid them because they’d run to keep up with us as we walked away. Part of the problem, I think, was that we were only staying a few blocks outside of the red light district. Perhaps they thought we were hookers, despite wearing jeans and sweaters?

At one point we were laughing, “Nope, we’re just not into black men right now.”

“Sorry, we’re totally off white men right at the moment.”

“Apologies, we just not doing MEN right now.”

Even that didn’t deter them. But why would it? After all, the French invented the ménage a trios. At one point, we pretended to be deaf mutes doing sign language as we crossed yet another street at a rapid pace. All we really wanted to do was snap a few pictures and see the sights. Every time we tried to do that, a crowd would gather and it was freaking me out a little. I guess we should just be happy some find us stalk-worthy. It could be worse, hey? They could NOT find us stalk-worthy.

It’s true; everyone loves an American girl. However, do not wear a T-shirt home stating this fact (with a big American flag across the chest) in a foreign country or you’ll be pulled out of line and searched more times than you even thought possible.

…Trust me.

Tourism…

Before seeing Moulin Rouge, Christy booked us for a dinner cruise on a glass boat down the River Seine to see the Louvre (there are separate additional fees for each wing of the museum!) and Tour de Eiffel ( Eiffel Tower )…that was amazing and expensive…and amazing. The food we had in France completely lived up to the hype and maybe surpassed it.

Except for the cheese course. I had to move the plate to another table because it smelled like seriously stinky feet. How do people get past that to actually EAT it? And why would you want to?

Oh, and I’d always heard that French and Italian women wear sexy, matching lingerie…from what I observed in our locker room, this rumor may be true. ;)

On my way home, I finally caught the movie DaVinci Code, which was filmed right where I’d been. Yeah, I’m a huge mark for that! And surprise, surprise…my luggage arrived in Paris and at home!

Thank you BIG TIME to the fans who came out, the women I worked, Queens of Chaos for having me and many kisses to the baggage handlers of the CDL, PHL and BDL airports!

I’ll be back in Nanterre/Paris on the 21st of January to defend my title against one of the UK ’s top fighters, Sweet Saraya.