Abhishek_Divekar
06-10-2007, 09:27 AM
So, this time I've racked my brain and observed the scene to give you 10 things WWE Can Do Without. Now, since I am counting on some people not to read any of this post and just write what they think instead, I am counting on someone to mention certain "obvious" problems (ECW, DX, John Cena) as not being on this list. I can make an argument to keep all of those around, and furthermore, nullify those as being on this list. This 10 is a serious evaluation of the company, not a testament to being a "Smart Mark" and having a keyboard to vent those frustrations. With that, feel free to read on and enjoy the following counts
1. J.R. & Jerry Lawler as the Number One Team
Let's face it: Wrestling just isn't what it used to be. And I don't mean what it was in the attitude era, I mean what it was in the years on 1988-1992. For WWE, this is no more apparent than on the microphone. If there is one thing these old releases have taught us, its that even a Hercules/Ultimate Warrior match is watchable with the right twosome on commentary. That twosome has to have chemistry every night, not just once in a while. While JR and The King have been entertaining in moderation, they're no Bobby Heenan/Gorilla Monsoon. In fact, no one is. But maybe if someone else got the chance, we could see a breakout star behind the mic.
2. Vince McMahon, On-Screen
Every once in a while, a dose of the boss is like Hulkamania. It's refreshing, and feels familiar yet new. However, McMahon has been on TV for nearly 18 months now, and most of it has been against the same three guys. Nothing against those superstars, but even they had to be getting tired of the same old schtick week after week. More than likely, Vince doesn't hear these complaints. After all, he gave the Real FU to the fans by winning his Second World Title in his career.
3. WWE Diva Search, Non-Wrestling Divas
No Brainer here. Melina and Mickie were fantastic this past weekend, but star performances out of the fledgling women's division are few and far between. For that matter, let's stop giving the fans a "Who's That" of female wrestlers and keep it to a minimum. Eye candy is nice, but so is talent.
4. “Green” Champions
I had a great time watching Santino Marella win the I.C. Title, but I also had a hard time believing that WWE would again give an inexperienced competitor a strap. Now we look up and down the WWE Roster, and see names like Deuce and Domino with Tag Gold, and Melina with the Women's Title. Cena was still a bit green AT FIRST with his title, and Carlito is notorious for winning on his first night on the show. Maybe Chris Benoit should become our patron saint for consistency. Right now, only MVP deserves to win, after all, he's earned it.
5. Any and All E.G. References
We've done a good job in the last 3 months downplaying that Eddie Guerrero died on my birthday two years ago. Still, the beating of the dead horse (mind the pun) continues in merchandising and marketing. Perhaps now is the time to repent?
6. The Rules of the Royal Rumble
Okay, so I was as eager as the next guy to have every Royal Rumble in my collection earlier this year. And after watching them, I determined that the biggest waste of 5 minutes on my Pay Per View wasn't the Royal Dedication from Julius Caesar, but rather, the reading of the Rumble rules. We know the damn rules. Everybody does, whether they've seen it in action or heard word of mouth. If you don't know how it works, you shouldn't be watching. Cut 'em.
7. Randy Orton
Now, I said this wasn't intended to be an "Obvious" countdown. But if WWE were really intelligent, they'd let Orton go after his next offense. He's a detriment to the company and a perfect example of poor management. It is about time they make an example out of him before its too late. Now, you might think that he'll go elsewhere for employment, but given that he was Champion and a "True" main eventer for a very limited engagement, would it really be all that bad? I mean, just look at Brock Lesnar, who was immensely more popular than RKO.
8. Weddings
It's been a while since we've seen one, but dammit all to hell if all wrestling needs to abandon these. I don't need to give you reasons that you don't already know. Instead, I'll focus on how WWE will play the same song they've played since Macho Man/Elizabeth at SummerSlam 1991. You can't expect me to get teary-eyed when all I want to do is murder after hearing that song.
9. "Fake" Injuries
Too often, WWE dresses up a wrestler's time off as a legitimate injury. Then, in an ironic twist, another wrestler is badly injured and out for an extended period of time. Remember the Enzyme Catastrophe from last year? We're still not sure what was real and what was staged from that debacle, further proof that if they're leaving, just say so. The Audience is smarter than that.
10. Mark Henry
Okay, I know he does everything the company asks of him, but after his last three "comebacks," he's now an injury liability. Plus, he's slower than dirt and far too dangerous in ring given his size. Now I know, this means that the Great Khali gets a pass, but hey, at least he didn't do Mae Young.
1. J.R. & Jerry Lawler as the Number One Team
Let's face it: Wrestling just isn't what it used to be. And I don't mean what it was in the attitude era, I mean what it was in the years on 1988-1992. For WWE, this is no more apparent than on the microphone. If there is one thing these old releases have taught us, its that even a Hercules/Ultimate Warrior match is watchable with the right twosome on commentary. That twosome has to have chemistry every night, not just once in a while. While JR and The King have been entertaining in moderation, they're no Bobby Heenan/Gorilla Monsoon. In fact, no one is. But maybe if someone else got the chance, we could see a breakout star behind the mic.
2. Vince McMahon, On-Screen
Every once in a while, a dose of the boss is like Hulkamania. It's refreshing, and feels familiar yet new. However, McMahon has been on TV for nearly 18 months now, and most of it has been against the same three guys. Nothing against those superstars, but even they had to be getting tired of the same old schtick week after week. More than likely, Vince doesn't hear these complaints. After all, he gave the Real FU to the fans by winning his Second World Title in his career.
3. WWE Diva Search, Non-Wrestling Divas
No Brainer here. Melina and Mickie were fantastic this past weekend, but star performances out of the fledgling women's division are few and far between. For that matter, let's stop giving the fans a "Who's That" of female wrestlers and keep it to a minimum. Eye candy is nice, but so is talent.
4. “Green” Champions
I had a great time watching Santino Marella win the I.C. Title, but I also had a hard time believing that WWE would again give an inexperienced competitor a strap. Now we look up and down the WWE Roster, and see names like Deuce and Domino with Tag Gold, and Melina with the Women's Title. Cena was still a bit green AT FIRST with his title, and Carlito is notorious for winning on his first night on the show. Maybe Chris Benoit should become our patron saint for consistency. Right now, only MVP deserves to win, after all, he's earned it.
5. Any and All E.G. References
We've done a good job in the last 3 months downplaying that Eddie Guerrero died on my birthday two years ago. Still, the beating of the dead horse (mind the pun) continues in merchandising and marketing. Perhaps now is the time to repent?
6. The Rules of the Royal Rumble
Okay, so I was as eager as the next guy to have every Royal Rumble in my collection earlier this year. And after watching them, I determined that the biggest waste of 5 minutes on my Pay Per View wasn't the Royal Dedication from Julius Caesar, but rather, the reading of the Rumble rules. We know the damn rules. Everybody does, whether they've seen it in action or heard word of mouth. If you don't know how it works, you shouldn't be watching. Cut 'em.
7. Randy Orton
Now, I said this wasn't intended to be an "Obvious" countdown. But if WWE were really intelligent, they'd let Orton go after his next offense. He's a detriment to the company and a perfect example of poor management. It is about time they make an example out of him before its too late. Now, you might think that he'll go elsewhere for employment, but given that he was Champion and a "True" main eventer for a very limited engagement, would it really be all that bad? I mean, just look at Brock Lesnar, who was immensely more popular than RKO.
8. Weddings
It's been a while since we've seen one, but dammit all to hell if all wrestling needs to abandon these. I don't need to give you reasons that you don't already know. Instead, I'll focus on how WWE will play the same song they've played since Macho Man/Elizabeth at SummerSlam 1991. You can't expect me to get teary-eyed when all I want to do is murder after hearing that song.
9. "Fake" Injuries
Too often, WWE dresses up a wrestler's time off as a legitimate injury. Then, in an ironic twist, another wrestler is badly injured and out for an extended period of time. Remember the Enzyme Catastrophe from last year? We're still not sure what was real and what was staged from that debacle, further proof that if they're leaving, just say so. The Audience is smarter than that.
10. Mark Henry
Okay, I know he does everything the company asks of him, but after his last three "comebacks," he's now an injury liability. Plus, he's slower than dirt and far too dangerous in ring given his size. Now I know, this means that the Great Khali gets a pass, but hey, at least he didn't do Mae Young.