Black Widow
02-14-2008, 11:01 PM
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What triggers two people to fall hopelessly in love remains one of life’s great mysteries. And for some of our fans, perhaps no mystery is quite as vexing as what drew Edge and his lover, Vickie Guerrero, to one another.
The couple have struggled against fierce headwinds and even bodily injury to fortify their union. “Critics be damned!” is often their joined response. But they’re not the only ones to have fought the odds. The two join a pantheon of other star-crossed lovers who had found heart-shaped bliss within the confines of the squared circle.
To inspire our fans this Valentine’s Day, WWE.com offers up a list of our 10 Greatest “Whoa-mances.” If Edge and Vickie can endure, one day they just might end up breaking onto this hallowed register of romance.
Stephanie McMahon & Triple H
According to the ancient Greek playwright Aeschylus, “Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny.” That said, one cannot help but wonder if the widely regarded “father of tragedy” was actually a time traveler working for World Wrestling Entertainment at the dawn of the 21st century—a period that witnessed the fusion of power, corruption, business savvy and, of course, WWE.com’s No. 1 Whoa-mance: the McMahon-Helmsley Era.
Truly, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon were from different worlds; he was D-Generation X’s crass Cerebral Assassin, while she was Mr. McMahon’s Billion Dollar Princess. But those worlds collided in November 1999, when The Game played ultimate wedding crasher during Stephanie’s nuptials to Test. In front of the horrified bride and groom-to-be, her entire wedding party and everyone watching Raw that night, he produced video footage of another marriage ceremony—one that featured himself, a drugged Stephanie, tacky ventriloquism, 40 bucks and a drive-thru chapel in Las Vegas.
Outraged, Mr. McMahon would battle Triple H for his daughter’s honor in a “No Holds Barred” contest at Armageddon. Unfortunately for the bloodied WWE Chairman, the apple of his eye did not fall far from the family tree; just as he had done to so many others in the past (and present…and probably future…), Stephanie betrayed Mr. McMahon, happily aiding her new husband to secure the victory. As she herself would later explain, watching Triple H make business personal against her father gave her butterflies, and she was thrilled the night he netted her.
By breaking her father’s heart and driving away the remaining McMahon clan, Stephanie and Triple H welcomed the new millennium in complete control of WWE. Together, the narcissistic newlyweds merged the members of DX with the remnants of Mr. McMahon’s sinister Corporation, thereby laying the foundation for their own eternal partnership, the McMahon-Helmsley Era. Further solidified by championship gold (two WWE Championship reigns for Triple H, and the Women’s Championship for Stephanie), the faction declared “marital law” on WWE Superstars, referees, even announcers and production crews; those who didn’t adhere to the rules of their happy home were often unceremoniously cast out. (Or in the case of Stephanie’s mother Linda, called a bitch and slapped in the middle of the ring by her own daughter!)
Naturally, their business-like love would be tested. The Rock laid the smack down on Triple H in several unforgettable contests for the WWE Championship. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin returned to the ring in late October, focusing solely on revenge against The Game who put him out of action for a year. And who could forget Mick Foley, who was forced to retire after losing his Royal Rumble “Hell in a Cell” Match against the Cerebral Assassin, yet still “fought the power” as WWE’s Commissioner throughout the latter half of 2000? Resistance came from all angles, yet—as later evidenced by Mr. McMahon and Shane McMahon’s reconciliation with her and Triple H—no one seemed able to conquer the passion powering the McMahon-Helmsley regime.
Like most loving dictatorships, however, the fall begins from within. WWE theorists believe the demise was the combination of dissenting ranks, plus a slow but steady power struggle within Stephanie’s familial faction (a problem that has foiled many McMahon-generated plans over the years). Many also point to May 21, 2001, when Triple H tore his left quadriceps muscle during a tag team contest against Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit. Sidelined more than eight months, The Game would return to WWE and find a woman he no longer knew—one who, after failing in a joint ECW-WCW Invasion with Shane, had run back into the ultra-controlling arms of Mr. McMahon.
By February 2002, tensions between Triple H and “Daddy’s Little Girl” had grown so bad that Stephanie, fearing she was losing her husband, faked a pregnancy just to convince him into renewing their vows. The Game happily obliged, until he learned of her deception less than an hour before their live ceremony on Raw that Valentine’s week. The discovery set up the most ironic of environments for Triple H, who would end his two-year marriage to Stephanie in a manner much like the way it had started. Speaking from his heart, he’d call her “a no-good lying bitch,” destroy the surrounding wedding scenery, Pedigree his father-in-law and toss his ring at the fallen bride, declaring that they were through.
Needless to say, Stephanie didn’t take the break-up well. In fact, the ink hadn’t even dried on their signed divorce papers before she allied herself with several Superstars to destroy her ex—among them, then-Undisputed Champion Jericho, the man who had injured Triple H eight months before. The Game would persevere over Y2J and Stephanie at WrestleMania X-8, then defeat them both in a Raw Triple Threat Match that forced the Billion Dollar Princess to (begrudgingly) leave WWE for good—or at least for several months before she was reinstated as SmackDown’s General Manager. Either way, her absence certainly made Triple H’s heart grow fonder, and enabled him to focus once more on his one and only love: being “that damn good” in the squared circle.
Even Aeschylus himself couldn’t pen a greater romantic tragedy.
Randy Savage & Miss Elizabeth
Let’s not kid ourselves: Randy “Macho Man” Savage and Miss Elizabeth didn’t have the storybook ending everyone thought—nay, hoped—that they would. After their divorce in 1992, the two would share a rocky working relationship at WCW, then finally part ways for good several years later. However, WWE.com chooses to cue up the “Pomp and Circumstance” and celebrate the couple’s No. 2 Whoa-mance in World Wrestling Entertainment—through the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and the elements that, for a brief time, would bring every sports-entertainment fan “Together” for a majestic SummerSlam wedding in August 1991.
When “Macho Man” made the WWE scene in June 1985, he rebuffed offers from the company’s elite managers, instead opting for newcomer Miss Elizabeth. WWE fans at first questioned the choice, though Elizabeth’s beauty, elegance and grace quickly won everyone over. Unlike most of WWE’s (loud)mouthpieces, Elizabeth remained quiet and reserved, from the moments she accompanied “Macho Man” down to the ring to those when she followed him out of the arena, usually victorious. On the rare instances when she’d almost speak, he’d usually cut her off at the quick, once again directing all the attention his way.
Nevertheless, one can’t argue with Savage’s incredible success, or the fact that it was inextricably linked to the beautiful “First Lady of Wrestling.” Besides being as much a fan favorite as he—even more so at times—she understood that Macho was “too hot to handle, too cold to hold,” and simply thrived in the spotlight.
By the same token, Savage often appeared much less sensitive to Elizabeth’s needs. His erratic behavior was akin to that of an overcompensating, overprotective jock boyfriend—watching anyone else focus on her made him antsy, even downright mean. His 1986 rivalry with George “The Animal” Steele, the simple-minded WWE Superstar who had fallen in love with Elizabeth, was a year-long testament of this. Another was his rabid jealousy of Hulk Hogan in 1989, culminating in these once-unstoppable “Mega-Powers” to explode at WrestleMania V—and Elizabeth’s ensuing departure from his side.
WWE’s golden statistics also don’t lie: with Miss Elizabeth in his corner, Savage enjoyed two memorable WWE Championship reigns, not to mention an extensive 13-month run as Intercontinental Champion. Without her (whether through an opponent’s doing or, more likely, his own), his “Macho Madness” made him a bitter, ultra-volatile Superstar. Granted, upon defeating “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan to become the “Macho King” in 1990, Savage would enjoy more than a year of success with vicious valet Sensational Sherri as his queen. Yet it only seemed to make his fall from grace even more tragic after losing a classic “Loser Must Retire” Match to Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania VII. The WWE crowd had booed him vociferously throughout the contest, while his queen poured on a humiliating hurting afterwards by literally kicking the dejected man when he was down.
Suddenly, in the midst of his darkest hour came a light Savage had believed diminished. Emerging from the WrestleMania audience, Miss Elizabeth ran to the ring and fought Sherri off, prompting an emotional reunion between her and the Macho Man that fans to this day remember as a timeless WrestleMania moment. More such moments followed in the months ahead, including a touching marriage proposal on live television that elicited a teary-eyed Elizabeth to reply, “Ooooh, yeeaah!” The result: an unforgettable “Match Made in Heaven” wedding at SummerSlam.
Yeah, yeah, we know—the reception afterwards was something of a downer (Damn you, Jake “The Snake” Roberts! Don’t place your python among the wedding presents!), and come the New Year, Ric Flair would test their love by making false claims of an affair with Elizabeth. But for one special August night, more than 20,000 wedding guests in New York’s sold-out Madison Square Garden would celebrate with a happy couple who vowed to love, comfort, honor and keep one another, in sickness and in health. And in World Wrestling Entertainment, that in itself can be considered a victory.
Lita's Many Lovers
Matt Hardy. Kane. Edge. On any given night, these three WWE Superstars can easily headline a live sports-entertainment event. Yet from 2000 to 2006, they each took center stage in the heart of one Diva—a four-time Women’s Champion whose lovelife would resemble something out of Sybil or The Three Faces of Eve. WWE purists have long praised Lita’s daredevil feats and in-ring accomplishments, while her sexcapades and antisocial demeanor have drawn the most unflattering of comments from critics.
Lita was the acrobatic valet of Essa Rios when she met her first love, Matt Hardy, in May 2000. Almost instantly, the two flipped for one another—and, with Jeff Hardy, for sold-out venues around the world as the high-flying “Team Extreme.” Matt wouldn’t openly profess his feelings for the Diva until February the following year, but when he finally did so, he gave Lita a liplock that she gladly submitted to. For the next several years, their love would endure the competitive ups and downs inherent in sports-entertainment, as well as severe injuries that sidelined each of them for long periods of time. Then, in April 2004, just as Matt and Lita were ready to take the next step of a lifetime together, a Big Red Monster would raze their world.
That monster was Kane, whose fixation on Lita made for a modern-day allegory of Beauty & the Beast. The seven-foot Superstar repeatedly subjected her boyfriend to hellacious pummelings until she agreed to be with him—and by that we mean “be” with him. Matt wouldn’t know anything about their rendezvous until he tried proposing to Lita in June, a week after discovering she was pregnant. It was at that moment when Kane informed him that the baby was his, resulting in an ongoing rivalry that culminated with Lita being obligated to marry the winner of a “’Till Death Do Us Part” Match at SummerSlam that August. Three guesses who won her hand (and if two or more of your guesses say Matt, then shame on you).
Kane’s unholy union to Lita, though born of a personal necessity to have a “love-child” carry on his ghastly legacy, wasn’t insincere; in his own hideous way, he cared deeply for the Diva, even after a ring mishap involving Snitsky led to her miscarriage. Ironically, the tragedy would also bring Lita closer to her Big Red Monster-sized hubby, through whom she’d channel her own wrath—first against Snitsky, then toward longtime nemesis Trish Stratus. In the midst of helping exact vengeance, it appeared that Kane had finally won over Lita’s heart—at least until May 2005, when the beauty revealed herself as the true beast, flushing her wedding ring down a toilet and going “Rated-R” with another WWE Superstar.
For the 18 months they were together, Lita and Edge ushered in an age of sex of violence that established them as WWE’s elite “power couple.” In January 2006, they attempted to publicly consummate the Rated-R Superstar’s first WWE Championship with a Raw “sex celebration” live on television. Later that summer, they’d each wear championship gold around their waist—and nothing else when they so desired. Their affair, though detrimental to Kane’s already fragile psyche, actually made more of an impact on WWE fans and Matt Hardy, who at one time considered Edge among his closest friends. Nevertheless, despite crowds’ relentless chants of “slut” and “You screwed Matt,” or becoming the most hated Diva in WWE, Lita would enjoy some of her greatest success in her illustrious career. A career that was perhaps the true love of her life, and the “better half” that makes up WWE.com’s No. 3 Whoa-mance.
Billy & Chuck
When it comes to Billy & Chuck, one can only paraphrase that famous line in Brokeback Mountain: we wish we knew how to quit them. Throughout 2002, WWE fans believed this touchy-feely tandem were looking for love in all the wrong places—most notably, inside the wrestling ring—but there was so much more to WWE.com’s No. 4 Whoa-mance.
From the instant the Superstar formerly known as “Mr. Ass” hooked up with Chuck, they were tight; uncomfortably so. Wearing matching headbands and fire-red ring gear (and on at least one occasion, matching thongs), their entrance theme suggested that they looked so good to each other, even though most WWE fans didn’t concur. It was also evident that Billy & Chuck had no problem expressing their desire to be as one in the squared circle. They’d grunt and groan through the most rigorous of stretching exercises; pat each other’s back(side) for a job well done; give each other boxes of chocolates for Valentine’s Day (Chuck’s contained a steel plate, leaving a bad taste across the mouth of APA member Faarooq); and sign up for posedown competitions with WWE Divas.
That said, there was nothing ambiguous about Billy & Chuck’s aspirations to be on top—of WWE’s World Tag Team division, that is. By their two-month anniversary, they had already adorned themselves in World Tag Team gold, with each praising the other’s sparkling personality, beautiful physique and fun-loving attitude for making their first time together—as champions—so special. To further ensure peak conditioning, they’d enlist the services of “personal stylist” Rico, who from ringside made them a flamboyant threesome that got off on tangling with other WWE Superstars.
Billy & Chuck would enjoy their second and final go-round as World Tag Team Champions that summer before losing to Hulk Hogan & Edge in July. Yet the true nature of their relationship wouldn’t come to a head until early September. It was at that time when Chuck dug into his tights and pulled out the love for all to see: a small box containing an engagement ring. Going down on one knee, Chuck proposed a lifetime partnership, to which a joyous Billy answered with a resounding “yes.” The buildup to their public “commitment ceremony” on SmackDown would result in a mass media circus, with the happy couple featured prominently on The Today Show and ESPN, plus in elite publications like Variety and The New York Times.
Come the big day, however, after happily strutting down the aisle to “It’s Raining Men,” both Billy and Chuck got cold feet. Halting the ceremony moments before they were officially pronounced husband and…husband, Billy admitted that neither of them were gay (emphasizing that even if he was, he wouldn’t marry Chuck), and that the whole affair was a publicity stunt cooked up by their wedding planner, Rico. What they didn’t realize was that Rico had secretly conspired with then-Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff, who used the worldwide-publicized event to establish the Raw brand’s dominance in sports-entertainment and embarrass SmackDown GM Stephanie McMahon.
“Manning up” from the incident, Billy & Chuck would gain some measure of revenge against Bischoff and their former stylist, though life for them was never the same. Injuries and other setbacks eventually caused the duo to part ways by year’s end, and ultimately ended Billy & Chuck’s story not with a bang, but a whimper.
Chyna & Eddie Guerrero
He lies! He cheats! He scores! Spring was in the air, but it was Eddie Guerrero’s searing “Latino Heat” that scorched Chyna’s earth throughout the summer of 2000. The Ninth Wonder of the World was Eddie’s No.1 “Mamacita,” and their powerful chemistry together is WWE.com’s No. 5 Whoa-mance.
Before April of that year, one could hardly say they shared the mutual look of love; in fact, Chyna showed downright distaste for Guerrero, who was clearly besotted by the chiseled wonder. He had spent weeks making goo-goo eyes in her direction, even when it seemed the closest intimate contact he’d get from her was in the squared circle at WrestleMania 2000, when she actually powerlifted him by his Latino Heat-seeker. (Yeowtch!)
Then Chyna pulled something even more unexpected at Raw the following night: she drilled ally Chris Jericho with a DDT that nearly sent Y2J into the next millennium, essentially gift-wrapping the European Championship for Eddie (who looked equally as shocked as the crowd watching). Clearly, despite her own fiery spirit and power, Chyna had succumbed to Latino Heat.
And what a sweltering heat it was—a blazing path of viselike love not seen before in World Wrestling Entertainment. Between cuddles, Chyna helped Eddie earn his GED (General Equivalency Diploma), then accompanied him to his prom hours before he defended his European Title against Essa Rios at Backlash (while still wearing the pants and bowtie from his rented tuxedo). They’d play Twister in the locker room; drive around in Eddie’s black ’57 Chevy while Chyna fondled his fuzzy dice (the ones wrapped around the rearview mirror); offer each other bouquets of roses before a match (plus the occasional lead pipe concealed within); and simply beat the crap out of anyone who got in their way. For the next several months, it seemed only Latino Heat could successfully get “Mamacita” off her feet…but not inside a wrestling ring.
With June, alas, came the initial signs of inclement weather ahead: a second-round King of the Ring Tournament Match that turned the lovers into opposing fighters. Eddie’s schoolboy behavior—followed by a schoolboy rollup—would literally steal the victory out from under Chyna, who wanted him to take the contest seriously. Although he’d win her over with a cute li’l puppy days later, in retrospect the pup signaled that, deep down, the ever-charming Guerrero remained a Latino wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Latino Heat wouldn’t show signs of breaking again until August’s SummerSlam, during which Chyna captured the Intercontinental Championship in her and Guerrero’s specially stipulated Intergender Tag Team Match against Val Venis & Trish Stratus. Eddie—who had lost his European Championship by that point—assured he was happy that it was his “Mamacita” who “got lucky” that evening. In truth, however, jealousy had reared the greedy Guerrero’s mullet head, and prompted him to covet Chyna’s gold weeks later, by having her title defense against Kurt Angle turned into a Triple Threat Match. When Angle knocked Chyna out during the contest, Eddie rushed over to “protect” her—long enough for the referee to make the three-count. Watching the footage afterwards, Chyna confronted her boyfriend, who erupted into a defensive fury that left the Ninth Wonder of The World trembling and sobbing on the floor.
Eddie would quickly beg her forgiveness for his outburst, though in the ensuing weeks it seemed he’d have something to apologize for every night. He’d take his violent temper out in the ring, especially on the WWE Superstars whom Chyna considered close friends. He’d also fly into uncontrollable fits of rage at the very mention of Chyna’s then-upcoming pictorial in Playboy magazine; insisting that no one would ever see his “Mamacita” nude, Eddie even drove over to the Playboy Mansion to personally retrieve the photos from Hugh Hefner. Though his embarrassing efforts ultimately failed, they succeeded in breaking poor Chyna’s heart.
By late September, WWE fans wanted to see a light at the end of this now-dark tunnel of love, and it appeared one had shone through when a teary-eyed Eddie, realizing he was on the verge of losing Chyna, got down on one knee and proposed to her in the middle of the ring. A delirious “Mamacita” said yes, and their Latino Heat had rekindled…for about two weeks. While spending quality time destroying their latest ring opponents, the happy couple and WWE fans everywhere watched a video that suddenly appeared on the TitanTron—a video that showcased a very intimate shower between Guerrero and two of The Godfather’s ho’s! Almost instantly, a tearful Chyna would wash her hands of Eddie Guerrero, and although they’d spend several more weeks together by battling each other in the ring, it was clear that she had been burned by his Latino Heat for the very last time.
What triggers two people to fall hopelessly in love remains one of life’s great mysteries. And for some of our fans, perhaps no mystery is quite as vexing as what drew Edge and his lover, Vickie Guerrero, to one another.
The couple have struggled against fierce headwinds and even bodily injury to fortify their union. “Critics be damned!” is often their joined response. But they’re not the only ones to have fought the odds. The two join a pantheon of other star-crossed lovers who had found heart-shaped bliss within the confines of the squared circle.
To inspire our fans this Valentine’s Day, WWE.com offers up a list of our 10 Greatest “Whoa-mances.” If Edge and Vickie can endure, one day they just might end up breaking onto this hallowed register of romance.
Stephanie McMahon & Triple H
According to the ancient Greek playwright Aeschylus, “Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny.” That said, one cannot help but wonder if the widely regarded “father of tragedy” was actually a time traveler working for World Wrestling Entertainment at the dawn of the 21st century—a period that witnessed the fusion of power, corruption, business savvy and, of course, WWE.com’s No. 1 Whoa-mance: the McMahon-Helmsley Era.
Truly, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon were from different worlds; he was D-Generation X’s crass Cerebral Assassin, while she was Mr. McMahon’s Billion Dollar Princess. But those worlds collided in November 1999, when The Game played ultimate wedding crasher during Stephanie’s nuptials to Test. In front of the horrified bride and groom-to-be, her entire wedding party and everyone watching Raw that night, he produced video footage of another marriage ceremony—one that featured himself, a drugged Stephanie, tacky ventriloquism, 40 bucks and a drive-thru chapel in Las Vegas.
Outraged, Mr. McMahon would battle Triple H for his daughter’s honor in a “No Holds Barred” contest at Armageddon. Unfortunately for the bloodied WWE Chairman, the apple of his eye did not fall far from the family tree; just as he had done to so many others in the past (and present…and probably future…), Stephanie betrayed Mr. McMahon, happily aiding her new husband to secure the victory. As she herself would later explain, watching Triple H make business personal against her father gave her butterflies, and she was thrilled the night he netted her.
By breaking her father’s heart and driving away the remaining McMahon clan, Stephanie and Triple H welcomed the new millennium in complete control of WWE. Together, the narcissistic newlyweds merged the members of DX with the remnants of Mr. McMahon’s sinister Corporation, thereby laying the foundation for their own eternal partnership, the McMahon-Helmsley Era. Further solidified by championship gold (two WWE Championship reigns for Triple H, and the Women’s Championship for Stephanie), the faction declared “marital law” on WWE Superstars, referees, even announcers and production crews; those who didn’t adhere to the rules of their happy home were often unceremoniously cast out. (Or in the case of Stephanie’s mother Linda, called a bitch and slapped in the middle of the ring by her own daughter!)
Naturally, their business-like love would be tested. The Rock laid the smack down on Triple H in several unforgettable contests for the WWE Championship. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin returned to the ring in late October, focusing solely on revenge against The Game who put him out of action for a year. And who could forget Mick Foley, who was forced to retire after losing his Royal Rumble “Hell in a Cell” Match against the Cerebral Assassin, yet still “fought the power” as WWE’s Commissioner throughout the latter half of 2000? Resistance came from all angles, yet—as later evidenced by Mr. McMahon and Shane McMahon’s reconciliation with her and Triple H—no one seemed able to conquer the passion powering the McMahon-Helmsley regime.
Like most loving dictatorships, however, the fall begins from within. WWE theorists believe the demise was the combination of dissenting ranks, plus a slow but steady power struggle within Stephanie’s familial faction (a problem that has foiled many McMahon-generated plans over the years). Many also point to May 21, 2001, when Triple H tore his left quadriceps muscle during a tag team contest against Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit. Sidelined more than eight months, The Game would return to WWE and find a woman he no longer knew—one who, after failing in a joint ECW-WCW Invasion with Shane, had run back into the ultra-controlling arms of Mr. McMahon.
By February 2002, tensions between Triple H and “Daddy’s Little Girl” had grown so bad that Stephanie, fearing she was losing her husband, faked a pregnancy just to convince him into renewing their vows. The Game happily obliged, until he learned of her deception less than an hour before their live ceremony on Raw that Valentine’s week. The discovery set up the most ironic of environments for Triple H, who would end his two-year marriage to Stephanie in a manner much like the way it had started. Speaking from his heart, he’d call her “a no-good lying bitch,” destroy the surrounding wedding scenery, Pedigree his father-in-law and toss his ring at the fallen bride, declaring that they were through.
Needless to say, Stephanie didn’t take the break-up well. In fact, the ink hadn’t even dried on their signed divorce papers before she allied herself with several Superstars to destroy her ex—among them, then-Undisputed Champion Jericho, the man who had injured Triple H eight months before. The Game would persevere over Y2J and Stephanie at WrestleMania X-8, then defeat them both in a Raw Triple Threat Match that forced the Billion Dollar Princess to (begrudgingly) leave WWE for good—or at least for several months before she was reinstated as SmackDown’s General Manager. Either way, her absence certainly made Triple H’s heart grow fonder, and enabled him to focus once more on his one and only love: being “that damn good” in the squared circle.
Even Aeschylus himself couldn’t pen a greater romantic tragedy.
Randy Savage & Miss Elizabeth
Let’s not kid ourselves: Randy “Macho Man” Savage and Miss Elizabeth didn’t have the storybook ending everyone thought—nay, hoped—that they would. After their divorce in 1992, the two would share a rocky working relationship at WCW, then finally part ways for good several years later. However, WWE.com chooses to cue up the “Pomp and Circumstance” and celebrate the couple’s No. 2 Whoa-mance in World Wrestling Entertainment—through the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and the elements that, for a brief time, would bring every sports-entertainment fan “Together” for a majestic SummerSlam wedding in August 1991.
When “Macho Man” made the WWE scene in June 1985, he rebuffed offers from the company’s elite managers, instead opting for newcomer Miss Elizabeth. WWE fans at first questioned the choice, though Elizabeth’s beauty, elegance and grace quickly won everyone over. Unlike most of WWE’s (loud)mouthpieces, Elizabeth remained quiet and reserved, from the moments she accompanied “Macho Man” down to the ring to those when she followed him out of the arena, usually victorious. On the rare instances when she’d almost speak, he’d usually cut her off at the quick, once again directing all the attention his way.
Nevertheless, one can’t argue with Savage’s incredible success, or the fact that it was inextricably linked to the beautiful “First Lady of Wrestling.” Besides being as much a fan favorite as he—even more so at times—she understood that Macho was “too hot to handle, too cold to hold,” and simply thrived in the spotlight.
By the same token, Savage often appeared much less sensitive to Elizabeth’s needs. His erratic behavior was akin to that of an overcompensating, overprotective jock boyfriend—watching anyone else focus on her made him antsy, even downright mean. His 1986 rivalry with George “The Animal” Steele, the simple-minded WWE Superstar who had fallen in love with Elizabeth, was a year-long testament of this. Another was his rabid jealousy of Hulk Hogan in 1989, culminating in these once-unstoppable “Mega-Powers” to explode at WrestleMania V—and Elizabeth’s ensuing departure from his side.
WWE’s golden statistics also don’t lie: with Miss Elizabeth in his corner, Savage enjoyed two memorable WWE Championship reigns, not to mention an extensive 13-month run as Intercontinental Champion. Without her (whether through an opponent’s doing or, more likely, his own), his “Macho Madness” made him a bitter, ultra-volatile Superstar. Granted, upon defeating “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan to become the “Macho King” in 1990, Savage would enjoy more than a year of success with vicious valet Sensational Sherri as his queen. Yet it only seemed to make his fall from grace even more tragic after losing a classic “Loser Must Retire” Match to Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania VII. The WWE crowd had booed him vociferously throughout the contest, while his queen poured on a humiliating hurting afterwards by literally kicking the dejected man when he was down.
Suddenly, in the midst of his darkest hour came a light Savage had believed diminished. Emerging from the WrestleMania audience, Miss Elizabeth ran to the ring and fought Sherri off, prompting an emotional reunion between her and the Macho Man that fans to this day remember as a timeless WrestleMania moment. More such moments followed in the months ahead, including a touching marriage proposal on live television that elicited a teary-eyed Elizabeth to reply, “Ooooh, yeeaah!” The result: an unforgettable “Match Made in Heaven” wedding at SummerSlam.
Yeah, yeah, we know—the reception afterwards was something of a downer (Damn you, Jake “The Snake” Roberts! Don’t place your python among the wedding presents!), and come the New Year, Ric Flair would test their love by making false claims of an affair with Elizabeth. But for one special August night, more than 20,000 wedding guests in New York’s sold-out Madison Square Garden would celebrate with a happy couple who vowed to love, comfort, honor and keep one another, in sickness and in health. And in World Wrestling Entertainment, that in itself can be considered a victory.
Lita's Many Lovers
Matt Hardy. Kane. Edge. On any given night, these three WWE Superstars can easily headline a live sports-entertainment event. Yet from 2000 to 2006, they each took center stage in the heart of one Diva—a four-time Women’s Champion whose lovelife would resemble something out of Sybil or The Three Faces of Eve. WWE purists have long praised Lita’s daredevil feats and in-ring accomplishments, while her sexcapades and antisocial demeanor have drawn the most unflattering of comments from critics.
Lita was the acrobatic valet of Essa Rios when she met her first love, Matt Hardy, in May 2000. Almost instantly, the two flipped for one another—and, with Jeff Hardy, for sold-out venues around the world as the high-flying “Team Extreme.” Matt wouldn’t openly profess his feelings for the Diva until February the following year, but when he finally did so, he gave Lita a liplock that she gladly submitted to. For the next several years, their love would endure the competitive ups and downs inherent in sports-entertainment, as well as severe injuries that sidelined each of them for long periods of time. Then, in April 2004, just as Matt and Lita were ready to take the next step of a lifetime together, a Big Red Monster would raze their world.
That monster was Kane, whose fixation on Lita made for a modern-day allegory of Beauty & the Beast. The seven-foot Superstar repeatedly subjected her boyfriend to hellacious pummelings until she agreed to be with him—and by that we mean “be” with him. Matt wouldn’t know anything about their rendezvous until he tried proposing to Lita in June, a week after discovering she was pregnant. It was at that moment when Kane informed him that the baby was his, resulting in an ongoing rivalry that culminated with Lita being obligated to marry the winner of a “’Till Death Do Us Part” Match at SummerSlam that August. Three guesses who won her hand (and if two or more of your guesses say Matt, then shame on you).
Kane’s unholy union to Lita, though born of a personal necessity to have a “love-child” carry on his ghastly legacy, wasn’t insincere; in his own hideous way, he cared deeply for the Diva, even after a ring mishap involving Snitsky led to her miscarriage. Ironically, the tragedy would also bring Lita closer to her Big Red Monster-sized hubby, through whom she’d channel her own wrath—first against Snitsky, then toward longtime nemesis Trish Stratus. In the midst of helping exact vengeance, it appeared that Kane had finally won over Lita’s heart—at least until May 2005, when the beauty revealed herself as the true beast, flushing her wedding ring down a toilet and going “Rated-R” with another WWE Superstar.
For the 18 months they were together, Lita and Edge ushered in an age of sex of violence that established them as WWE’s elite “power couple.” In January 2006, they attempted to publicly consummate the Rated-R Superstar’s first WWE Championship with a Raw “sex celebration” live on television. Later that summer, they’d each wear championship gold around their waist—and nothing else when they so desired. Their affair, though detrimental to Kane’s already fragile psyche, actually made more of an impact on WWE fans and Matt Hardy, who at one time considered Edge among his closest friends. Nevertheless, despite crowds’ relentless chants of “slut” and “You screwed Matt,” or becoming the most hated Diva in WWE, Lita would enjoy some of her greatest success in her illustrious career. A career that was perhaps the true love of her life, and the “better half” that makes up WWE.com’s No. 3 Whoa-mance.
Billy & Chuck
When it comes to Billy & Chuck, one can only paraphrase that famous line in Brokeback Mountain: we wish we knew how to quit them. Throughout 2002, WWE fans believed this touchy-feely tandem were looking for love in all the wrong places—most notably, inside the wrestling ring—but there was so much more to WWE.com’s No. 4 Whoa-mance.
From the instant the Superstar formerly known as “Mr. Ass” hooked up with Chuck, they were tight; uncomfortably so. Wearing matching headbands and fire-red ring gear (and on at least one occasion, matching thongs), their entrance theme suggested that they looked so good to each other, even though most WWE fans didn’t concur. It was also evident that Billy & Chuck had no problem expressing their desire to be as one in the squared circle. They’d grunt and groan through the most rigorous of stretching exercises; pat each other’s back(side) for a job well done; give each other boxes of chocolates for Valentine’s Day (Chuck’s contained a steel plate, leaving a bad taste across the mouth of APA member Faarooq); and sign up for posedown competitions with WWE Divas.
That said, there was nothing ambiguous about Billy & Chuck’s aspirations to be on top—of WWE’s World Tag Team division, that is. By their two-month anniversary, they had already adorned themselves in World Tag Team gold, with each praising the other’s sparkling personality, beautiful physique and fun-loving attitude for making their first time together—as champions—so special. To further ensure peak conditioning, they’d enlist the services of “personal stylist” Rico, who from ringside made them a flamboyant threesome that got off on tangling with other WWE Superstars.
Billy & Chuck would enjoy their second and final go-round as World Tag Team Champions that summer before losing to Hulk Hogan & Edge in July. Yet the true nature of their relationship wouldn’t come to a head until early September. It was at that time when Chuck dug into his tights and pulled out the love for all to see: a small box containing an engagement ring. Going down on one knee, Chuck proposed a lifetime partnership, to which a joyous Billy answered with a resounding “yes.” The buildup to their public “commitment ceremony” on SmackDown would result in a mass media circus, with the happy couple featured prominently on The Today Show and ESPN, plus in elite publications like Variety and The New York Times.
Come the big day, however, after happily strutting down the aisle to “It’s Raining Men,” both Billy and Chuck got cold feet. Halting the ceremony moments before they were officially pronounced husband and…husband, Billy admitted that neither of them were gay (emphasizing that even if he was, he wouldn’t marry Chuck), and that the whole affair was a publicity stunt cooked up by their wedding planner, Rico. What they didn’t realize was that Rico had secretly conspired with then-Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff, who used the worldwide-publicized event to establish the Raw brand’s dominance in sports-entertainment and embarrass SmackDown GM Stephanie McMahon.
“Manning up” from the incident, Billy & Chuck would gain some measure of revenge against Bischoff and their former stylist, though life for them was never the same. Injuries and other setbacks eventually caused the duo to part ways by year’s end, and ultimately ended Billy & Chuck’s story not with a bang, but a whimper.
Chyna & Eddie Guerrero
He lies! He cheats! He scores! Spring was in the air, but it was Eddie Guerrero’s searing “Latino Heat” that scorched Chyna’s earth throughout the summer of 2000. The Ninth Wonder of the World was Eddie’s No.1 “Mamacita,” and their powerful chemistry together is WWE.com’s No. 5 Whoa-mance.
Before April of that year, one could hardly say they shared the mutual look of love; in fact, Chyna showed downright distaste for Guerrero, who was clearly besotted by the chiseled wonder. He had spent weeks making goo-goo eyes in her direction, even when it seemed the closest intimate contact he’d get from her was in the squared circle at WrestleMania 2000, when she actually powerlifted him by his Latino Heat-seeker. (Yeowtch!)
Then Chyna pulled something even more unexpected at Raw the following night: she drilled ally Chris Jericho with a DDT that nearly sent Y2J into the next millennium, essentially gift-wrapping the European Championship for Eddie (who looked equally as shocked as the crowd watching). Clearly, despite her own fiery spirit and power, Chyna had succumbed to Latino Heat.
And what a sweltering heat it was—a blazing path of viselike love not seen before in World Wrestling Entertainment. Between cuddles, Chyna helped Eddie earn his GED (General Equivalency Diploma), then accompanied him to his prom hours before he defended his European Title against Essa Rios at Backlash (while still wearing the pants and bowtie from his rented tuxedo). They’d play Twister in the locker room; drive around in Eddie’s black ’57 Chevy while Chyna fondled his fuzzy dice (the ones wrapped around the rearview mirror); offer each other bouquets of roses before a match (plus the occasional lead pipe concealed within); and simply beat the crap out of anyone who got in their way. For the next several months, it seemed only Latino Heat could successfully get “Mamacita” off her feet…but not inside a wrestling ring.
With June, alas, came the initial signs of inclement weather ahead: a second-round King of the Ring Tournament Match that turned the lovers into opposing fighters. Eddie’s schoolboy behavior—followed by a schoolboy rollup—would literally steal the victory out from under Chyna, who wanted him to take the contest seriously. Although he’d win her over with a cute li’l puppy days later, in retrospect the pup signaled that, deep down, the ever-charming Guerrero remained a Latino wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Latino Heat wouldn’t show signs of breaking again until August’s SummerSlam, during which Chyna captured the Intercontinental Championship in her and Guerrero’s specially stipulated Intergender Tag Team Match against Val Venis & Trish Stratus. Eddie—who had lost his European Championship by that point—assured he was happy that it was his “Mamacita” who “got lucky” that evening. In truth, however, jealousy had reared the greedy Guerrero’s mullet head, and prompted him to covet Chyna’s gold weeks later, by having her title defense against Kurt Angle turned into a Triple Threat Match. When Angle knocked Chyna out during the contest, Eddie rushed over to “protect” her—long enough for the referee to make the three-count. Watching the footage afterwards, Chyna confronted her boyfriend, who erupted into a defensive fury that left the Ninth Wonder of The World trembling and sobbing on the floor.
Eddie would quickly beg her forgiveness for his outburst, though in the ensuing weeks it seemed he’d have something to apologize for every night. He’d take his violent temper out in the ring, especially on the WWE Superstars whom Chyna considered close friends. He’d also fly into uncontrollable fits of rage at the very mention of Chyna’s then-upcoming pictorial in Playboy magazine; insisting that no one would ever see his “Mamacita” nude, Eddie even drove over to the Playboy Mansion to personally retrieve the photos from Hugh Hefner. Though his embarrassing efforts ultimately failed, they succeeded in breaking poor Chyna’s heart.
By late September, WWE fans wanted to see a light at the end of this now-dark tunnel of love, and it appeared one had shone through when a teary-eyed Eddie, realizing he was on the verge of losing Chyna, got down on one knee and proposed to her in the middle of the ring. A delirious “Mamacita” said yes, and their Latino Heat had rekindled…for about two weeks. While spending quality time destroying their latest ring opponents, the happy couple and WWE fans everywhere watched a video that suddenly appeared on the TitanTron—a video that showcased a very intimate shower between Guerrero and two of The Godfather’s ho’s! Almost instantly, a tearful Chyna would wash her hands of Eddie Guerrero, and although they’d spend several more weeks together by battling each other in the ring, it was clear that she had been burned by his Latino Heat for the very last time.