Black Widow
07-28-2008, 07:37 PM
This was the best show I've ever seen, all time, all my life.
Okay, that sentence is not true by any iota. But I will admit I had a lot of fun tonight. The show wasn't actually that good at all, but the atmosphere of the Cape Cod Melody Tent (literally a giant big-top tent with about 2000 seats) makes for a hell of a show, even with the likes of Ricky Ortiz and Nick Nemeth competing. Once I accepted that I was not going to be seeing many stars, I allowed myself to just enjoy the experience.
First off, this show had been sold out for weeks; one of the venue's only advance sellouts of the season. Tickets were being scalped for more than three times face value. WWE was a big deal in Hyannis, MA. After two years of TNA, WWE had come back to the Melody Tent. Secondly, there were a TON of kids. Like, very few fans above 17 in attendance; just lots of little kids and their parents. Third, this was pretty much the exact same show as the Hampton Beach, NH show reported on the site the other day, and probably the same as the Cohasset, MA show the night before.
Howard Finkel (!) came out to announce that WWE loves to surprise its fans, and tonight's first big surprise was that Maria would be hosting the show. She looked great, as usual. She picked a kid out of the crowd to be the timekeeper, but this only lasted one match. Crowd loves her, for good reason.
CARLITO beats RICKY ORTIZ with SCHOOLBOY
Carlito is somber, angry and reserved. Not sure if he was dogging it or trying out a new character. With the new dreadlocks and attitude, I'm leaning towards a Manny Ramirez gimmick. People recognized Ortiz from TV, but didn't really click with the crowd. He's not very good. He might have a really, really good punch, or he just wailed Carlito in the face REALLY hard three times. Carlito is still very over; every time he tried to get heat, he was booed, but was then cheered whenever he hit a move. Ortiz got 50/50 cheers and boos. I'm pretty sure Carlito held the tights. Guess that ends his undefeated streak.
R TRUTH beats "NATURAL" NICK NEMETH with AXE KICK
Somehow, R Truth was like the third-most over guy on the show. People weren't sure what to think of him when his name was announced, and when he came out, people were mixed, but excited about the possibilities of this ripped black guy. Then, he started dancing, and everyone loved him. Nemeth came out with wacky half-bleached hair and 2005-era Randy Orton blue bike shorts. He needs new gear. But make no mistake, he's awesome. Great heat. The children HATED him. And R-Truth, who's slogan is "What's up?", got INSANE reactions every time he asked the crowd what was up. They loved this man. I don't know if they recognized him from TNA, or as K-Kwik, or if Hyannis was stunned to see a non-white person. But he was incredibly over. Put him on TV now. Nemeth, too. Heat machine.
CHERRY beats VICTORIA, TIFFANY and MARYSE in DIVA DANCE CONTEST with SYMPATHY VOTE
Lena Yada introduced the competitors. She's very hot. Victoria was fucking gold here. She came out in a Yankees jersey, which is usually just cheap heat, but the fact that it was a #40 Chien-Ming Wang jersey, while inexplicable (Wang is good, but is currently hurt and is far down the list of hated Yanks... he just has a funny name), was just plain funny. For her dance, she did the robot, the worm, an irish jig, and in what was the greatest moment in the history of our great sport, the ELAINE DANCE. Yes, the one with the little kicks. Maryse, who is incredibly hot but is a black hole of charisma, walked around the ring, scowled, and didn't dance. Cherry was shy and pretended to not know how to dance, so Victoria came out to help her. They did some sort of wacky dance, but then Victoria clotheslined her. I love Victoria. Finally, Tiffany, who is very hot but I know nothing about, did a bunch of air splits/toe touches. That's all she knew how to do, so she did it to each side of the tent. The winner would be declared by applause volume. Victoria tried to appeal to the fans for applause by climbing up a turnbuckle, but did a pratfall off the ropes. I love Victoria. Fans cheered for both her and Cherry, and in a run-off election, Cherry got a "Cherry" chant, making her the winner. Then Victoria and Maryse attacked the two, they all fought, and the faces cleaned house. This segment was only good because of Victoria. She made it more entertaining than it had any right to be.
GREAT KHALI beats FINLAY with BRAIN CHOP
Greatest match in the history of the world. Two of my three favorite wrestlers duking it out. If only Mitch Ryder were involved, we'd have ourselves a MOTY. I killed my voice cheering for Khali. He's amazing. Also, big. In the highlight of the match, Khali applied a NERVE HOLD to Finlay, which lasted three minutes. Finlay powered out of it, but Khali cut him off and gave him another NERVE HOLD. In another spot, Khali began untying the turnbuckle, but the ref stopped him halfway through. So while the ref tried to retie one turnbuckle, the nefarious Khali went to the opposite corner and began untying that one instead. The ref caught on, and stopped him again. Then, while he was retying the second turnbuckle, Finlay got the shillelagh. Khali BLOCKED the shillelagh shot, but fell victim to a low blow by Hornswaggle. I should note that, for good reason, Finlay and Swaggs were the second-most over faces of the night. Crowd loved them. Khali shook off the damage and BRAIN CHOPPED Finlay for the pin. After the match, Finlay began abducting children from the audience and placing them in the ring, wherein they danced with the midget. After the third kid hit the ring, EVERY CHILD in the building collectively realized at the exact same second that they could also dance with their hero, so about 60% of the crowd stormed the ringside area. This was amazing.
SHELTON BENJAMIN beats JIMMY WANG YANG with FINISHING MANEUVER
After intermission, these guys came out. Crowd loved Jimmy, but only when he did a sweet move. They didn't care at all about his comebacks, which is too bad. Solid match; nothing really too crazy, but fundamentally sound. Crowd didn't really care, though.
EVAN BOURNE beats CHAVO GUERERRO with SHOOTING STAR PRESS
Crowd HATED Chavo. Arguably the most hated heel of the night, perhaps even more than Henry... although that's debatable. Crowd liked Bourne, but like the last match, they didn't really care much about his comebacks; only his sweet flip moves. Bourne is very good; by far the most entertaining wrestler on the show, if that means anything. His shooting star press is a thing of beauty, but everyone knows that by now. But I'm worried that he's not getting over as much as someone like him should be. Bam Neely was ejected from ringside early after the ref caught him grabbing Bourne's leg. Crowd loved this. Bourne had a special guest manager (another fan picked by Maria), but she didn't really do much managing. Just kinda sat next to Finkel. Good match; probably best of the night.
MARK HENRY beats MATT HARDY with SLAM OF DEBATABLE STRENGTH
Henry was joined by Atlas and Delaney. Delaney has the best gear in the history of the world. Atlas grabbed the mic and said "THIS IS THE WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN!" and gave it back to Finkel. While he is not good at talking, I will admit his ringside demeanor is hilarious. He makes funny faces at fans, laughs at the babyface in peril, and seems to attract heat, even from kids who don't even know who he is. For this, I will give him credit. Delaney got in an argument with the Sign Guy. Fuck the Sign Guy. He sucks. Kids were asking him for his autograph before the show. What a loser. Back in my day, fans wore straw hats and sat camera-side at each show, and they were happy with that. Hardy came out and got the biggest pop of the night. Matt Hardy is well-liked. Henry grabbed the mic and was awesome. He told Hardy he had a choice; walk out of the ring, or be carried out. The logical, witty response for Hardy would be to say "I've made my decision. I'll walk out of this ring... with your ECW championship!". Instead, Hardy said "I've made my decision. I'm gonna beat you for your ECW championship!" Eh, close enough. Henry is gold on the mic. Hardy... is well-liked. Match was short and sweet. I don't really think anyone thought at any point Hardy was going to win. Henry gave him his finisher, which should be changed. It's like a power slam without the power. After the match, Hardy ToF'd Delaney. Colin Delaney is a great American, and if he's not long for ECW, I hope to see him once or twice a month in Chikara again.
Once again, the show wasn't really that good. But the atmosphere made it extremely fun. I will return next year.
Okay, that sentence is not true by any iota. But I will admit I had a lot of fun tonight. The show wasn't actually that good at all, but the atmosphere of the Cape Cod Melody Tent (literally a giant big-top tent with about 2000 seats) makes for a hell of a show, even with the likes of Ricky Ortiz and Nick Nemeth competing. Once I accepted that I was not going to be seeing many stars, I allowed myself to just enjoy the experience.
First off, this show had been sold out for weeks; one of the venue's only advance sellouts of the season. Tickets were being scalped for more than three times face value. WWE was a big deal in Hyannis, MA. After two years of TNA, WWE had come back to the Melody Tent. Secondly, there were a TON of kids. Like, very few fans above 17 in attendance; just lots of little kids and their parents. Third, this was pretty much the exact same show as the Hampton Beach, NH show reported on the site the other day, and probably the same as the Cohasset, MA show the night before.
Howard Finkel (!) came out to announce that WWE loves to surprise its fans, and tonight's first big surprise was that Maria would be hosting the show. She looked great, as usual. She picked a kid out of the crowd to be the timekeeper, but this only lasted one match. Crowd loves her, for good reason.
CARLITO beats RICKY ORTIZ with SCHOOLBOY
Carlito is somber, angry and reserved. Not sure if he was dogging it or trying out a new character. With the new dreadlocks and attitude, I'm leaning towards a Manny Ramirez gimmick. People recognized Ortiz from TV, but didn't really click with the crowd. He's not very good. He might have a really, really good punch, or he just wailed Carlito in the face REALLY hard three times. Carlito is still very over; every time he tried to get heat, he was booed, but was then cheered whenever he hit a move. Ortiz got 50/50 cheers and boos. I'm pretty sure Carlito held the tights. Guess that ends his undefeated streak.
R TRUTH beats "NATURAL" NICK NEMETH with AXE KICK
Somehow, R Truth was like the third-most over guy on the show. People weren't sure what to think of him when his name was announced, and when he came out, people were mixed, but excited about the possibilities of this ripped black guy. Then, he started dancing, and everyone loved him. Nemeth came out with wacky half-bleached hair and 2005-era Randy Orton blue bike shorts. He needs new gear. But make no mistake, he's awesome. Great heat. The children HATED him. And R-Truth, who's slogan is "What's up?", got INSANE reactions every time he asked the crowd what was up. They loved this man. I don't know if they recognized him from TNA, or as K-Kwik, or if Hyannis was stunned to see a non-white person. But he was incredibly over. Put him on TV now. Nemeth, too. Heat machine.
CHERRY beats VICTORIA, TIFFANY and MARYSE in DIVA DANCE CONTEST with SYMPATHY VOTE
Lena Yada introduced the competitors. She's very hot. Victoria was fucking gold here. She came out in a Yankees jersey, which is usually just cheap heat, but the fact that it was a #40 Chien-Ming Wang jersey, while inexplicable (Wang is good, but is currently hurt and is far down the list of hated Yanks... he just has a funny name), was just plain funny. For her dance, she did the robot, the worm, an irish jig, and in what was the greatest moment in the history of our great sport, the ELAINE DANCE. Yes, the one with the little kicks. Maryse, who is incredibly hot but is a black hole of charisma, walked around the ring, scowled, and didn't dance. Cherry was shy and pretended to not know how to dance, so Victoria came out to help her. They did some sort of wacky dance, but then Victoria clotheslined her. I love Victoria. Finally, Tiffany, who is very hot but I know nothing about, did a bunch of air splits/toe touches. That's all she knew how to do, so she did it to each side of the tent. The winner would be declared by applause volume. Victoria tried to appeal to the fans for applause by climbing up a turnbuckle, but did a pratfall off the ropes. I love Victoria. Fans cheered for both her and Cherry, and in a run-off election, Cherry got a "Cherry" chant, making her the winner. Then Victoria and Maryse attacked the two, they all fought, and the faces cleaned house. This segment was only good because of Victoria. She made it more entertaining than it had any right to be.
GREAT KHALI beats FINLAY with BRAIN CHOP
Greatest match in the history of the world. Two of my three favorite wrestlers duking it out. If only Mitch Ryder were involved, we'd have ourselves a MOTY. I killed my voice cheering for Khali. He's amazing. Also, big. In the highlight of the match, Khali applied a NERVE HOLD to Finlay, which lasted three minutes. Finlay powered out of it, but Khali cut him off and gave him another NERVE HOLD. In another spot, Khali began untying the turnbuckle, but the ref stopped him halfway through. So while the ref tried to retie one turnbuckle, the nefarious Khali went to the opposite corner and began untying that one instead. The ref caught on, and stopped him again. Then, while he was retying the second turnbuckle, Finlay got the shillelagh. Khali BLOCKED the shillelagh shot, but fell victim to a low blow by Hornswaggle. I should note that, for good reason, Finlay and Swaggs were the second-most over faces of the night. Crowd loved them. Khali shook off the damage and BRAIN CHOPPED Finlay for the pin. After the match, Finlay began abducting children from the audience and placing them in the ring, wherein they danced with the midget. After the third kid hit the ring, EVERY CHILD in the building collectively realized at the exact same second that they could also dance with their hero, so about 60% of the crowd stormed the ringside area. This was amazing.
SHELTON BENJAMIN beats JIMMY WANG YANG with FINISHING MANEUVER
After intermission, these guys came out. Crowd loved Jimmy, but only when he did a sweet move. They didn't care at all about his comebacks, which is too bad. Solid match; nothing really too crazy, but fundamentally sound. Crowd didn't really care, though.
EVAN BOURNE beats CHAVO GUERERRO with SHOOTING STAR PRESS
Crowd HATED Chavo. Arguably the most hated heel of the night, perhaps even more than Henry... although that's debatable. Crowd liked Bourne, but like the last match, they didn't really care much about his comebacks; only his sweet flip moves. Bourne is very good; by far the most entertaining wrestler on the show, if that means anything. His shooting star press is a thing of beauty, but everyone knows that by now. But I'm worried that he's not getting over as much as someone like him should be. Bam Neely was ejected from ringside early after the ref caught him grabbing Bourne's leg. Crowd loved this. Bourne had a special guest manager (another fan picked by Maria), but she didn't really do much managing. Just kinda sat next to Finkel. Good match; probably best of the night.
MARK HENRY beats MATT HARDY with SLAM OF DEBATABLE STRENGTH
Henry was joined by Atlas and Delaney. Delaney has the best gear in the history of the world. Atlas grabbed the mic and said "THIS IS THE WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN!" and gave it back to Finkel. While he is not good at talking, I will admit his ringside demeanor is hilarious. He makes funny faces at fans, laughs at the babyface in peril, and seems to attract heat, even from kids who don't even know who he is. For this, I will give him credit. Delaney got in an argument with the Sign Guy. Fuck the Sign Guy. He sucks. Kids were asking him for his autograph before the show. What a loser. Back in my day, fans wore straw hats and sat camera-side at each show, and they were happy with that. Hardy came out and got the biggest pop of the night. Matt Hardy is well-liked. Henry grabbed the mic and was awesome. He told Hardy he had a choice; walk out of the ring, or be carried out. The logical, witty response for Hardy would be to say "I've made my decision. I'll walk out of this ring... with your ECW championship!". Instead, Hardy said "I've made my decision. I'm gonna beat you for your ECW championship!" Eh, close enough. Henry is gold on the mic. Hardy... is well-liked. Match was short and sweet. I don't really think anyone thought at any point Hardy was going to win. Henry gave him his finisher, which should be changed. It's like a power slam without the power. After the match, Hardy ToF'd Delaney. Colin Delaney is a great American, and if he's not long for ECW, I hope to see him once or twice a month in Chikara again.
Once again, the show wasn't really that good. But the atmosphere made it extremely fun. I will return next year.