Black Widow
01-10-2009, 06:00 PM
THE stars of TNA wrestling can’t wait to come to the UK later this month for their second UK tour but there’s one thing standing in their way...
Cristiano Ronaldo’s driving.
Former TNA heavyweight champions and Olympic gold medallist Kurt Angle is leading the fight against the Manchester United winger, who wrote off his £200,000 Ferrari yesterday.
And he’s sure to upset most of the rest of these shores with his comments.
Kurt told The Sun: “I should officially request that the British government detain Ronaldo for the time in which myself and the rest of the Main Event Mafia are in the city of Manchester for TNA's Maximum Impact Tour.
“His inability to drive, combined with his natural weakness as a soccer player, would make navigating the United Kingdom far too risky for an international celebrity such as myself with a pathetic fool like that out on the streets.
“Unlike Ronaldo or any other soccer player, I am recognized as international star both by the United Kingdom and the far more politically and economically important United States.”
“Because I will be flying into the Manchester Airport near the site of the crash, I can offer Ronaldo driving lessons in addition to giving him other tips on how to compose himself like a real sports star - the American way.
“Lesson number one - soccer is a girl's game in the United States, and since we set the rules across the globe, Ronaldo should abandon the sissy English game and get in the six sided ring of TNA like a real American.”
Kurt added: "It doesn't suprise me at all that another soccer player can't conduct himself like a true sports icon."
TNA’s UK and Ireland tour dates are:
Friday January 16 – Dublin: National Stadium
Saturday January 17 – Dublin: National Stadium
Tuesday, January 20 – Manchester: Manchester Evening News Arena
Wednesday, January 21 – Birmingham: National Indoor Arena
Thursday, January 22 – Glasgow: Braehead Arena
Saturday, January 24 – London: Wembley Arena
The Sun
Cristiano Ronaldo’s driving.
Former TNA heavyweight champions and Olympic gold medallist Kurt Angle is leading the fight against the Manchester United winger, who wrote off his £200,000 Ferrari yesterday.
And he’s sure to upset most of the rest of these shores with his comments.
Kurt told The Sun: “I should officially request that the British government detain Ronaldo for the time in which myself and the rest of the Main Event Mafia are in the city of Manchester for TNA's Maximum Impact Tour.
“His inability to drive, combined with his natural weakness as a soccer player, would make navigating the United Kingdom far too risky for an international celebrity such as myself with a pathetic fool like that out on the streets.
“Unlike Ronaldo or any other soccer player, I am recognized as international star both by the United Kingdom and the far more politically and economically important United States.”
“Because I will be flying into the Manchester Airport near the site of the crash, I can offer Ronaldo driving lessons in addition to giving him other tips on how to compose himself like a real sports star - the American way.
“Lesson number one - soccer is a girl's game in the United States, and since we set the rules across the globe, Ronaldo should abandon the sissy English game and get in the six sided ring of TNA like a real American.”
Kurt added: "It doesn't suprise me at all that another soccer player can't conduct himself like a true sports icon."
TNA’s UK and Ireland tour dates are:
Friday January 16 – Dublin: National Stadium
Saturday January 17 – Dublin: National Stadium
Tuesday, January 20 – Manchester: Manchester Evening News Arena
Wednesday, January 21 – Birmingham: National Indoor Arena
Thursday, January 22 – Glasgow: Braehead Arena
Saturday, January 24 – London: Wembley Arena
The Sun