the madscotsman
01-27-2006, 04:09 PM
If easilly offended don't read.
What do you calla a blonde with pigtails?
A blow job with handles.
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How many blondes does it take to change a light buld?
100- one to hold the bulb, 99 to turn the house.
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What do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls?
Sparky.
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What do you call a chinese peadophile?
Fuckem yung
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What do yuo call an ethiopian with a big ear?
A bus stop.
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A Scotsman an Englishman and an Irishman have been captured by natives. They are tied to poles and told that they will be killed, and eaten. But before that happens they have one last wish.
The Englishman asks for a packet of cigaretts and a lighter. He gets them, smkes them and then is killed.
The Irish man aska for a pint of Guiness. He gets it, drinmks it and is killed an eaten.
Finally the Scotsman asks for two slices of bread. The native asks him if he wants whiskey or food or anything else. The Scotsman replies. No just give me the bread.
He is given the bread and preceedes to masturbate between the slices.
he finnishes and the native goes to kill him but is cut off by the chief.
Wait! says the chief. Wjite man cum in piece.
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It has just come to my attention that that l;ast joke will be lost on every body outside of Britain. Sorry.
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How do you curcumsize and man from Alabama?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
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Whjat is the defenition of a virgin in Texas?
A girl that can pout run her FATHER and her BROTHER?
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Thoughts that sustain me:
# How come if you blow in a dogs face it barks at you, but when you put it in a car it stick it's head out of the window?
# How come in films when aliens come to earth they usually crash and die.
This is stupid. They can invent the interstellar drive, reverse the time track of space, fly billions of light years to earth, but can't invent a fuckin seat belt.
#Who put an 'I ' in blind?
# Why is abreviation such a long word?
# Why do peole look at their wrist when asking you the time. I know where my whatc is dickhead where is yours?
:laugh:
What do you calla a blonde with pigtails?
A blow job with handles.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many blondes does it take to change a light buld?
100- one to hold the bulb, 99 to turn the house.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls?
Sparky.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a chinese peadophile?
Fuckem yung
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do yuo call an ethiopian with a big ear?
A bus stop.
=================================================
A Scotsman an Englishman and an Irishman have been captured by natives. They are tied to poles and told that they will be killed, and eaten. But before that happens they have one last wish.
The Englishman asks for a packet of cigaretts and a lighter. He gets them, smkes them and then is killed.
The Irish man aska for a pint of Guiness. He gets it, drinmks it and is killed an eaten.
Finally the Scotsman asks for two slices of bread. The native asks him if he wants whiskey or food or anything else. The Scotsman replies. No just give me the bread.
He is given the bread and preceedes to masturbate between the slices.
he finnishes and the native goes to kill him but is cut off by the chief.
Wait! says the chief. Wjite man cum in piece.
=================================================
It has just come to my attention that that l;ast joke will be lost on every body outside of Britain. Sorry.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you curcumsize and man from Alabama?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whjat is the defenition of a virgin in Texas?
A girl that can pout run her FATHER and her BROTHER?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thoughts that sustain me:
# How come if you blow in a dogs face it barks at you, but when you put it in a car it stick it's head out of the window?
# How come in films when aliens come to earth they usually crash and die.
This is stupid. They can invent the interstellar drive, reverse the time track of space, fly billions of light years to earth, but can't invent a fuckin seat belt.
#Who put an 'I ' in blind?
# Why is abreviation such a long word?
# Why do peole look at their wrist when asking you the time. I know where my whatc is dickhead where is yours?
:laugh: