Travicity
09-03-2010, 04:19 AM
We open with a video package hyping tonight's tag match with the four remaining contenders for the TNA World Title, with all four guys giving their thoughts on even being in this match and their frame of mind going into teaming with guys they're going to be fighting three days from now.
We go to the Impact Zone as Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Miss Tessmacher make their way to the ring. I'll be honest, I'm going to find it hard to concentrate on what Hogan and Bischoff are saying, for obvious reasons. Hogan greets the cast members and says how much he loves being in the back with the greatest talent in the wrestling business. But now we're down to the semifinals in the title tournament, and he'd like to bring each of the guys out one at a time. While they're all coming out, I go and pour myself a cup of coffee, and they're almost done coming out when I return. Hogan says that everyone knows what happened to RVD, and whoever becomes the TNA Champion has to raise the bar because we can't have what happened to RVD happen ever again. Bischoff chimes in, saying he knows the decision to make tonight's tag match was a controversial one, but it's something that's going to help TNA decide which of the four of them is worthy of becoming the champion. As Bischoff continues babbling, Abyss comes out to the ring with Janice. Abyss says that he's here bearing newsworthy revalations from THEM. Hogan says to knock the crap off because everyone knows that THEM is Fortune. Abyss says that Hogan is ignorant because the THEY that he referred to was never EV2.0 and was never Fortune, and that Ric Flair is a liar. THEY have told him that the chess pieces are in place and the plan is ready to proceed, and have even given him the date of their revalation, and that date is 10.10.10. Hogan says THEY had better tell Abyss to get out of his face, and Abyss says that on 10.10.10 when THEY arrive, THEY are not only taking TNA over, but THEY are going to take TNA and turn it upside down, starting with the removal of Dixie Carter and continuing with the systamatic extermination of Hogan, Bischoff, Pope, Hardy, Anderson, and...Hardy attacks Abyss aaaaaaaaaand we go to commercial.
We're back and, instead of seeing what happened with Abyss, we see a video package detailing the history of the Beautiful People, Dumpy Ass, and the TNA Knockouts Title, and then we head back to the ring for our opening match...
Angelina Love & Velvet Sky vs Madison Rayne & Dumpy Ass
Angelina and Velvet get announced first, but Madison and Dumpy Ass come out first on the motorcycle. They're all so pissed at each other that, after their 20 minute entrance, all four girls start fighting on the floor. Velvet & Angelina whip Dumpy Ass into the guardrail and then surround Madison in the ring. She tries to make nice and do the ass shaking thing, but Velvet and Angelina aren't having it and double team Madison in the ring. They ping pong her back and forth a bit before Dumpy Ass comes in the ring and lays both Angelina and Velvet out. Now the bell rings to officially start the match, and Angelina recovers and kicks Madison in the...uh...love pudding. Velvet tags in and runs Madison over with a series of clotheslines, then mounts her and repeatedly rams the back of her head into the mat and then covers for 2. Tag to Angelina who comes in and powerslams Madison, then tags back out to Velvet who bends over right in front of the camera before the both of them nail Dumpy Ass and send her flying off the apron, then double suplex Madison and cover her for 2. Dumpy Ass runs in to try and make the save, but Angelina spears her out to the floor. Velvet goes for something but Dumpy Ass nails her with the motorcycle helmet and Madison covers Velvet for the win.
Winners: Madison Rayne & Dumpy Ass
Madison and Dumpy Ass continue the attack after the match and then Dumpy Ass finally removes the mask and reveals herself to be...Tara! Wow, it's not like everyone knew that for weeks!
We go backstage to Stevie Richards, who says that he has been asked all day if he's afraid of facing Abyss tonight, but he said no because he's been through throat surgeries and broken necks, and tonight he's going to stand on his own against Abyss.
Speaking of Abyss, we go to the video package from last week's TNA Reaction looking at Abyss' recent actions, and next week: Rob Van Dam will speak for the first time since the attack.
After all the Abyss talk, let's go back to the ring for our next match...
Stevie Richards vs Abyss
Stevie attacks Abyss on the floor before he gets in the ring and beats him up all around ringside. Stevie rams Abyss into the ring steps, but charges and runs into Abyss' boot. They head back into the ring and the bell rings to officially start the match. Stevie tries a Stevie Kick, but Abyss blocks and takes his head off with a clothesline, then charges Stevie with a splash in the corner. Stevie tries to fight back, but Abyss just pummels him down. Abyss with a front powerslam and then goes outside the ring and grabs a chair, but Stevie hits the Stevie Kick and pins Abyss.
Winner: Stevie Richards
Abyss nails Stevie and gives him Shock Treatment, and as this is going on, we go backstage to Foley laying on the ground holding his ankle as EV2.0 and Fortune are being pulled apart by security. Abyss sees all this on the screen, then casually no-sells it, tosses the ref out of the ring, and gives Stevie the Black Hole Slam. Abyss grabs Janice, but Brian Kendrick runs out and nails him from behind before he has a chance to use it and helps Stevie to the back.
We go backstage to Ken Anderson, who says he doesn't understand why Pope doesn't like him because he's been really nice to him. Pope comes up laughing behind him, and Pope says Anderson's still up to his same old tricks, but Anderson says that they can kick each other's ass at No Surrender, but tonight all they have to do is cooperate as a team. Pope says he doesn't like or trust Anderson, and he better not screw Pope tonight. Anderson says he doesn't plan on screwing anyone because if he screws Pope, he's screwing himself, and he needs to know that Pope will be there for him tonight. Pope says we'll see what happens out in the ring.
Still to come: Kurt Angle & Jeff Hardy take on the Pope & Ken Anderson, and...get ready for this...Jeff Jarrett takes on Sting!
We're back from commercial, and Tommy Dreamer is in the ring with what's left of EV2.0. Dreamer tells Fortune to come out and fight them, so Fortune comes out and AJ has a mic. He says that Dreamer doesn't call Fortune out in his house, because this is his house and he makes the rules. He tells EV2.0 to look at themselves and ask if they really think they'll have a chance at No Surrender. He says Douglas Williams will slaughter Sabu for the X-Division Title, Abyss will slaughter Rhino, and then asks how phenomenal it will be when the Innovator Of Violence begs AJ to stop hurting him and says I Quit. AJ says he's going to embarrass Tommy in his own house, and Dreamer tells him he doesn't have to wait for the PPV, and that they should do it now. Yes, this is AJ's house and also the house of people who think that he really sucks, so Dreamer says to take the four of them and face EV2.0. Obviously he can't count since there's seven guys in Fortune, but whatever. Dreamer and company get ready for Fortune to rush the ring, but instead...
We go backstage to Jeff Jarrett who is with Samoa Joe, and Jarrett says that before he goes out and gets his butt kicked, he wants Joe to know that he's going out there for TNA, Samoa Joe, and everyone in the locker room, so it's up to Joe to do the right thing. Joe says that if there's one thing he's learned in this business, it's that you should mind your own. Joe walks away, and Jarrett vs Sting is up next, so I guess we're going to blow off the Fortune-EV2.0 segment as well. Hey, this is really easy when you don't need endings to any segments!
We go backstage to Sting and Kevin Nash as they make their way to the ring, and they say they don't know if Joe's on Jarrett's side, but they know who will show up and Sting plans on pulling him in the ring. We then go to Jarrett, who says that he knows he's heading into a losing situation tonight, but hopes someone will stand up and help him out.
Jeff Jarrett vs Sting
Sting sends Jarrett into the ropes and Nash trips him from the outside. Sting with a boot to the gut and begins hammering Jarrett with rights, but Jarrett starts to come back, ducks a clothesline, and gets tripped by Nash again. Nash starts chasing Jarrett and Jarrett runs back into the ring where Sting continues pummeling him. Sting puts his head down and Jarrett connects with a boot and a clothesline, then dives out to the floor and goes after Nash. Sting comes out as well and rakes Jarrett's eyes from behind, then rams him into the guardrail a couple of times and then hits a short clothesline on the ramp as Mike Tenay again points out that Sting is wearing the Wolfpac facepaint. Jarrett tries to suplex Sting into the ring but Nash trips Jarrett from the floor and Sting falls on top for the win.
Winner: Sting
Jarrett goes after Nash again and Sting comes from behind to choke him with the bat, but Hulk Hogan's music hits and he comes sauntering out with no sense of urgency whatsoever. Hogan stops to take off his watch and walks down the ramp so slowly that Samoa Joe finally loses his patience and comes out of the crowd to lay Nash out, then goes around to the ramp and tells Hogan to stay back before going face to face with Sting, who backs down.
We're. uh...at the beach. It's another promo for "Shore", whatever that is.
Okay, we go back to the Impact Zone where Desmond Wolfe and Magnus, otherwise known as London Brawling, are in the ring with Chelsea saying that they're going to beat the Motor City Machine Guns at No Surrender. Magnus says the fans are obviously embarrassed to have the MCMGs as their champions, but fear not, because they're here to save the day. Those belts are coming off the boys and coming to the real men. So says the guy with the tight shirt and beret. The MCMG come out and go face to face with London Brawling as the fans start a USA chant. Shelley says if they think the MCMG killed themselves in five matches with Beer Money just to lose the belts to them at No Surrender, they're not thinking hard enough because they're the best tag team in the world and if they don't believe that, they can just ask the fans. Crowd pops for that one. Sabin says they may be the #1 contenders, but the MCMG haven't seen them beat anybody, and from the look of things, the only tag teaming they've been doing lately is with each other. Desmond asks the MCMG if they think they're a couple of poofs, and then says he hates to break up their comedy routine, but London Brawling are the only ones in the ring with a bird, then Magnus says instead of making jokes, they ought to grow some more hair on their nuts. Shelley responds by saying that if they're such men, why does Chelsea always have such a lousy look on her face? Shelley then offers her $10 for a go round, and then Sabin says to stop torturing Chelsea because she needs to make a living just like any call girl. Desmond then tells Chelsea to tell them how he's the biggest guy on this side of the pond, and Chelsea says that if this were a sword fight, his weapon would fall just a little bit short. London Brawling all start arguing with each other, then turn around and start laying out the MCMG. They toss Sabin to the outside and then double team Shelley, just not in the way the MCMG suggest they double team people.
We go backstage to EV2.0, and Tommy says they've already lost the FBI and now they've lost Mick, and Brian Kendrick comes in and offers his services tonight. He says it's not just for EV2.0, it's for each other because Mick's hurt. Tommy tells him not to get involved, but Brian says he loves what they've created and he wants to create with them. Mick says he's the only one who's going to name his own replacement. He says that Kendrick is out of his mind...and that makes him perfect for EV2.0. Tommy says he's in, but has no idea what he's getting himself involved in.
We go backstage to Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy, and Hardy says that if he beats Angle at NS, his career could be over. Angle says that's not happening, but he's focused on tonight because if you're not focused, that could lead to injury that'll affect them at No Surrender, and at No Surrender, he doesn't plan on losing.
Back to the ring for our next match...
Elimination Match: AJ Styles, Frankie Kazarian & Beer Money vs Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Sabu & Brian Kendrick
Storm and Rhino start, Storm sends Rhino into the ropes and Rhino runs him over with a shoulderblock. Storm takes Rhino to the Fortune corner where he gets quadruple teamed. Kazarian tags in and Rhino starts to come back and nails Kazarian with a dropkick and tags out to Sabu. Sabu with a springboard clothesline and nails the Fortune guys in the corner. Kazarian whips Sabu to the corner, but Sabu comes out with a tornado DDT for 2 and AJ tries to run in, but Sabu lays him out and goes for another springboard move, but Williams trips him off the ropes and Kazarian rolls him up for the elimination.
Sabu is eliminated.
Sabu dives out onto Williams on the floor and they brawl to the back as Dreamer comes into the ring to face Kazarian. Dreamer gets a Texas Cloverleaf, but AJ comes in to break it up so Dreamer tags in Kendrick, and he nails Kazarian with a series of dropkicks and gets a 2 count. Kendrick goes for a crossbody out of the corner but Kazarian drops him on his knee and tags Roode in. Roode works Kendrick over in the corner then rams a series of knees into Kendrick's gut and gets a back suplex for 2. Kazarian tags in and gets a salto for 2 and then they exchange rollups until Kendrick nails Kazarian with a leg lariat for 3.
Frankie Kazarian is eliminated.
AJ comes in and goes at it with Kendrick, and Kendrick gets a Thesz Press and chokes AJ, then hits a running dropkick to the referee and sends him flying out of the ring. Kendrick gets a big smile on his face as a big brawl erupts and spills out to ringside as we go to commercial.
Okay, we're back and Kendrick got disqualified for his little run-in with the referee during the commercial break.
Brian Kendrick is eliminated.
So now it's 3-on-2, and Beer Money are double teaming Dreamer in the ring. Just not with London Brawling. Storm holds Dreamer up so Roode can drill him with a right to the ribs and a bodyslam, then he goes up to the second rope, wastes enough time to know what's going to happen next, and sure enough he comes off right into Dreamer's boot. Dreamer follows with a SIDEWALK SLAM and makes the hot tag to Rhino, who comes in and cleans house on Fortune. Storm tries a superkick but Rhino catches the boot and gives Storm a big belly to belly suplex. Rhino hits the Gore and...Roode breaks the cover. Rhino with a belly to belly for Roode and sets up for the Gore, but Abyss comes to ringside so Rhino bails out to the floor and starts brawling with Abyss instead and gets counted out.
Rhino is eliminated.
I bet Dreamer's going to win, he never loses when in a tough spot. That was sarcasm for anyone who didn't pick it up or didn't see enough of the original ECW to know that Dreamer ALWAYS LOST. Fortune tag in and out and take turns beating Dreamer up. Dreamer goes for the DDT on Roode and AJ comes off the top to try and nail Dreamer, but Dreamer ducks and AJ nails Storm, so Dreamer hits the DDT on Roode and he's gone.
Robert Roode is eliminated.
Storm charges Dreamer and gets rolled up, and he's gone.
James Storm is eliminated.
So we're down to Dreamer and AJ, and AJ goes for the Styles Clash but Dreamer backdrops out and catches AJ in a Crippler Crossface, but AJ makes the ropes. Dreamer reverses a whip to a DVD attempt, but AJ slips out and hits a dropkick. AJ off the ropes with the Fancy Kneedrop but Dreamer moves, he goes for the DDT but AJ reverses into a cross armbreaker, but Dreamer makes the ropes. AJ with a slam and goes up top, but Dreamer recovers and nails him and gets a superplex. Dreamer goes over to AJ, looks Flair right in the eyes, and goes for the figure four, but Matt Morgan tries to come in. Dreamer crotches him on the top rop as Foley beats Flair up at ringside, and Dreamer turns around and eats a Pelle Kick and that's enough for AJ to get the win.
Winner: AJ Styles
No time to dwell on that, we have to head to commercial, and Angle/Hardy vs Pope/Anderson is up next!
Pope and Anderson have a little conference in the corner as the bell rings, so Angle comes up behind Pope and suplexes him out of his shoes and then tags in Hardy, and Angle sets up so Hardy can hit Poetry In Motion and then the springboard dropkick in the corner. Pope starts firing back and looks at Anderson untrustingly, then tags him in. Anderson picks Hardy up and goes for a right, but Hardy blocks and gets an inverted atomic drop, double legdrop to the crotch, and a diving dropkick, then nails Pope, but Anderson recovers and kills Hardy with a clothesline for 2. Pope tags himself in and snapmares Hardy, pulls down the kneepads and gets a Ric Flair kneedrop out of the corner for 2. Pope tags Anderson back in and holds Hardy so Anderson can nail him in the ribs. Anderson with a slam and covers for 2, and it appears that Anderson's reluctant to go all out against his friend Hardy, so instead we HIT THE CHINLOCK! Hardy elbows out and comes off the ropes, Anderson catches him and tries for the Mic Check, but Hardy escapes and hits Anderson with a Diamond Cutter. Both men make the hot tag and Angle comes in and nails Pope with a series of clotheslines and an overhead belly to belly, then a German Suplex for Anderson, then one for Pope, and he covers Pope, but Anderson breaks it up but Anderson nails him with a clothesline. Hardy comes off the top rope with the Whisper In The Wind, but Anderson moves and Hardy nails Angle, so Anderson hits the Mic Check and Pope steals the cover and pins Angle.
Winners: Ken Anderson & The Pope
Pope and Anderson smile at each other briefly before they start duking it out, and they tumble out to the floor together as Angle and Hardy recover in the ring and they go face to face over what just happened. Now Hardy and Angle start going at it as Pope and Anderson continue to brawl out on the floor, and Angle sends Hardy out to the floor, then follows him outside as security comes out to try and break this up, and we are off the air!
PWI
We go to the Impact Zone as Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Miss Tessmacher make their way to the ring. I'll be honest, I'm going to find it hard to concentrate on what Hogan and Bischoff are saying, for obvious reasons. Hogan greets the cast members and says how much he loves being in the back with the greatest talent in the wrestling business. But now we're down to the semifinals in the title tournament, and he'd like to bring each of the guys out one at a time. While they're all coming out, I go and pour myself a cup of coffee, and they're almost done coming out when I return. Hogan says that everyone knows what happened to RVD, and whoever becomes the TNA Champion has to raise the bar because we can't have what happened to RVD happen ever again. Bischoff chimes in, saying he knows the decision to make tonight's tag match was a controversial one, but it's something that's going to help TNA decide which of the four of them is worthy of becoming the champion. As Bischoff continues babbling, Abyss comes out to the ring with Janice. Abyss says that he's here bearing newsworthy revalations from THEM. Hogan says to knock the crap off because everyone knows that THEM is Fortune. Abyss says that Hogan is ignorant because the THEY that he referred to was never EV2.0 and was never Fortune, and that Ric Flair is a liar. THEY have told him that the chess pieces are in place and the plan is ready to proceed, and have even given him the date of their revalation, and that date is 10.10.10. Hogan says THEY had better tell Abyss to get out of his face, and Abyss says that on 10.10.10 when THEY arrive, THEY are not only taking TNA over, but THEY are going to take TNA and turn it upside down, starting with the removal of Dixie Carter and continuing with the systamatic extermination of Hogan, Bischoff, Pope, Hardy, Anderson, and...Hardy attacks Abyss aaaaaaaaaand we go to commercial.
We're back and, instead of seeing what happened with Abyss, we see a video package detailing the history of the Beautiful People, Dumpy Ass, and the TNA Knockouts Title, and then we head back to the ring for our opening match...
Angelina Love & Velvet Sky vs Madison Rayne & Dumpy Ass
Angelina and Velvet get announced first, but Madison and Dumpy Ass come out first on the motorcycle. They're all so pissed at each other that, after their 20 minute entrance, all four girls start fighting on the floor. Velvet & Angelina whip Dumpy Ass into the guardrail and then surround Madison in the ring. She tries to make nice and do the ass shaking thing, but Velvet and Angelina aren't having it and double team Madison in the ring. They ping pong her back and forth a bit before Dumpy Ass comes in the ring and lays both Angelina and Velvet out. Now the bell rings to officially start the match, and Angelina recovers and kicks Madison in the...uh...love pudding. Velvet tags in and runs Madison over with a series of clotheslines, then mounts her and repeatedly rams the back of her head into the mat and then covers for 2. Tag to Angelina who comes in and powerslams Madison, then tags back out to Velvet who bends over right in front of the camera before the both of them nail Dumpy Ass and send her flying off the apron, then double suplex Madison and cover her for 2. Dumpy Ass runs in to try and make the save, but Angelina spears her out to the floor. Velvet goes for something but Dumpy Ass nails her with the motorcycle helmet and Madison covers Velvet for the win.
Winners: Madison Rayne & Dumpy Ass
Madison and Dumpy Ass continue the attack after the match and then Dumpy Ass finally removes the mask and reveals herself to be...Tara! Wow, it's not like everyone knew that for weeks!
We go backstage to Stevie Richards, who says that he has been asked all day if he's afraid of facing Abyss tonight, but he said no because he's been through throat surgeries and broken necks, and tonight he's going to stand on his own against Abyss.
Speaking of Abyss, we go to the video package from last week's TNA Reaction looking at Abyss' recent actions, and next week: Rob Van Dam will speak for the first time since the attack.
After all the Abyss talk, let's go back to the ring for our next match...
Stevie Richards vs Abyss
Stevie attacks Abyss on the floor before he gets in the ring and beats him up all around ringside. Stevie rams Abyss into the ring steps, but charges and runs into Abyss' boot. They head back into the ring and the bell rings to officially start the match. Stevie tries a Stevie Kick, but Abyss blocks and takes his head off with a clothesline, then charges Stevie with a splash in the corner. Stevie tries to fight back, but Abyss just pummels him down. Abyss with a front powerslam and then goes outside the ring and grabs a chair, but Stevie hits the Stevie Kick and pins Abyss.
Winner: Stevie Richards
Abyss nails Stevie and gives him Shock Treatment, and as this is going on, we go backstage to Foley laying on the ground holding his ankle as EV2.0 and Fortune are being pulled apart by security. Abyss sees all this on the screen, then casually no-sells it, tosses the ref out of the ring, and gives Stevie the Black Hole Slam. Abyss grabs Janice, but Brian Kendrick runs out and nails him from behind before he has a chance to use it and helps Stevie to the back.
We go backstage to Ken Anderson, who says he doesn't understand why Pope doesn't like him because he's been really nice to him. Pope comes up laughing behind him, and Pope says Anderson's still up to his same old tricks, but Anderson says that they can kick each other's ass at No Surrender, but tonight all they have to do is cooperate as a team. Pope says he doesn't like or trust Anderson, and he better not screw Pope tonight. Anderson says he doesn't plan on screwing anyone because if he screws Pope, he's screwing himself, and he needs to know that Pope will be there for him tonight. Pope says we'll see what happens out in the ring.
Still to come: Kurt Angle & Jeff Hardy take on the Pope & Ken Anderson, and...get ready for this...Jeff Jarrett takes on Sting!
We're back from commercial, and Tommy Dreamer is in the ring with what's left of EV2.0. Dreamer tells Fortune to come out and fight them, so Fortune comes out and AJ has a mic. He says that Dreamer doesn't call Fortune out in his house, because this is his house and he makes the rules. He tells EV2.0 to look at themselves and ask if they really think they'll have a chance at No Surrender. He says Douglas Williams will slaughter Sabu for the X-Division Title, Abyss will slaughter Rhino, and then asks how phenomenal it will be when the Innovator Of Violence begs AJ to stop hurting him and says I Quit. AJ says he's going to embarrass Tommy in his own house, and Dreamer tells him he doesn't have to wait for the PPV, and that they should do it now. Yes, this is AJ's house and also the house of people who think that he really sucks, so Dreamer says to take the four of them and face EV2.0. Obviously he can't count since there's seven guys in Fortune, but whatever. Dreamer and company get ready for Fortune to rush the ring, but instead...
We go backstage to Jeff Jarrett who is with Samoa Joe, and Jarrett says that before he goes out and gets his butt kicked, he wants Joe to know that he's going out there for TNA, Samoa Joe, and everyone in the locker room, so it's up to Joe to do the right thing. Joe says that if there's one thing he's learned in this business, it's that you should mind your own. Joe walks away, and Jarrett vs Sting is up next, so I guess we're going to blow off the Fortune-EV2.0 segment as well. Hey, this is really easy when you don't need endings to any segments!
We go backstage to Sting and Kevin Nash as they make their way to the ring, and they say they don't know if Joe's on Jarrett's side, but they know who will show up and Sting plans on pulling him in the ring. We then go to Jarrett, who says that he knows he's heading into a losing situation tonight, but hopes someone will stand up and help him out.
Jeff Jarrett vs Sting
Sting sends Jarrett into the ropes and Nash trips him from the outside. Sting with a boot to the gut and begins hammering Jarrett with rights, but Jarrett starts to come back, ducks a clothesline, and gets tripped by Nash again. Nash starts chasing Jarrett and Jarrett runs back into the ring where Sting continues pummeling him. Sting puts his head down and Jarrett connects with a boot and a clothesline, then dives out to the floor and goes after Nash. Sting comes out as well and rakes Jarrett's eyes from behind, then rams him into the guardrail a couple of times and then hits a short clothesline on the ramp as Mike Tenay again points out that Sting is wearing the Wolfpac facepaint. Jarrett tries to suplex Sting into the ring but Nash trips Jarrett from the floor and Sting falls on top for the win.
Winner: Sting
Jarrett goes after Nash again and Sting comes from behind to choke him with the bat, but Hulk Hogan's music hits and he comes sauntering out with no sense of urgency whatsoever. Hogan stops to take off his watch and walks down the ramp so slowly that Samoa Joe finally loses his patience and comes out of the crowd to lay Nash out, then goes around to the ramp and tells Hogan to stay back before going face to face with Sting, who backs down.
We're. uh...at the beach. It's another promo for "Shore", whatever that is.
Okay, we go back to the Impact Zone where Desmond Wolfe and Magnus, otherwise known as London Brawling, are in the ring with Chelsea saying that they're going to beat the Motor City Machine Guns at No Surrender. Magnus says the fans are obviously embarrassed to have the MCMGs as their champions, but fear not, because they're here to save the day. Those belts are coming off the boys and coming to the real men. So says the guy with the tight shirt and beret. The MCMG come out and go face to face with London Brawling as the fans start a USA chant. Shelley says if they think the MCMG killed themselves in five matches with Beer Money just to lose the belts to them at No Surrender, they're not thinking hard enough because they're the best tag team in the world and if they don't believe that, they can just ask the fans. Crowd pops for that one. Sabin says they may be the #1 contenders, but the MCMG haven't seen them beat anybody, and from the look of things, the only tag teaming they've been doing lately is with each other. Desmond asks the MCMG if they think they're a couple of poofs, and then says he hates to break up their comedy routine, but London Brawling are the only ones in the ring with a bird, then Magnus says instead of making jokes, they ought to grow some more hair on their nuts. Shelley responds by saying that if they're such men, why does Chelsea always have such a lousy look on her face? Shelley then offers her $10 for a go round, and then Sabin says to stop torturing Chelsea because she needs to make a living just like any call girl. Desmond then tells Chelsea to tell them how he's the biggest guy on this side of the pond, and Chelsea says that if this were a sword fight, his weapon would fall just a little bit short. London Brawling all start arguing with each other, then turn around and start laying out the MCMG. They toss Sabin to the outside and then double team Shelley, just not in the way the MCMG suggest they double team people.
We go backstage to EV2.0, and Tommy says they've already lost the FBI and now they've lost Mick, and Brian Kendrick comes in and offers his services tonight. He says it's not just for EV2.0, it's for each other because Mick's hurt. Tommy tells him not to get involved, but Brian says he loves what they've created and he wants to create with them. Mick says he's the only one who's going to name his own replacement. He says that Kendrick is out of his mind...and that makes him perfect for EV2.0. Tommy says he's in, but has no idea what he's getting himself involved in.
We go backstage to Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy, and Hardy says that if he beats Angle at NS, his career could be over. Angle says that's not happening, but he's focused on tonight because if you're not focused, that could lead to injury that'll affect them at No Surrender, and at No Surrender, he doesn't plan on losing.
Back to the ring for our next match...
Elimination Match: AJ Styles, Frankie Kazarian & Beer Money vs Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Sabu & Brian Kendrick
Storm and Rhino start, Storm sends Rhino into the ropes and Rhino runs him over with a shoulderblock. Storm takes Rhino to the Fortune corner where he gets quadruple teamed. Kazarian tags in and Rhino starts to come back and nails Kazarian with a dropkick and tags out to Sabu. Sabu with a springboard clothesline and nails the Fortune guys in the corner. Kazarian whips Sabu to the corner, but Sabu comes out with a tornado DDT for 2 and AJ tries to run in, but Sabu lays him out and goes for another springboard move, but Williams trips him off the ropes and Kazarian rolls him up for the elimination.
Sabu is eliminated.
Sabu dives out onto Williams on the floor and they brawl to the back as Dreamer comes into the ring to face Kazarian. Dreamer gets a Texas Cloverleaf, but AJ comes in to break it up so Dreamer tags in Kendrick, and he nails Kazarian with a series of dropkicks and gets a 2 count. Kendrick goes for a crossbody out of the corner but Kazarian drops him on his knee and tags Roode in. Roode works Kendrick over in the corner then rams a series of knees into Kendrick's gut and gets a back suplex for 2. Kazarian tags in and gets a salto for 2 and then they exchange rollups until Kendrick nails Kazarian with a leg lariat for 3.
Frankie Kazarian is eliminated.
AJ comes in and goes at it with Kendrick, and Kendrick gets a Thesz Press and chokes AJ, then hits a running dropkick to the referee and sends him flying out of the ring. Kendrick gets a big smile on his face as a big brawl erupts and spills out to ringside as we go to commercial.
Okay, we're back and Kendrick got disqualified for his little run-in with the referee during the commercial break.
Brian Kendrick is eliminated.
So now it's 3-on-2, and Beer Money are double teaming Dreamer in the ring. Just not with London Brawling. Storm holds Dreamer up so Roode can drill him with a right to the ribs and a bodyslam, then he goes up to the second rope, wastes enough time to know what's going to happen next, and sure enough he comes off right into Dreamer's boot. Dreamer follows with a SIDEWALK SLAM and makes the hot tag to Rhino, who comes in and cleans house on Fortune. Storm tries a superkick but Rhino catches the boot and gives Storm a big belly to belly suplex. Rhino hits the Gore and...Roode breaks the cover. Rhino with a belly to belly for Roode and sets up for the Gore, but Abyss comes to ringside so Rhino bails out to the floor and starts brawling with Abyss instead and gets counted out.
Rhino is eliminated.
I bet Dreamer's going to win, he never loses when in a tough spot. That was sarcasm for anyone who didn't pick it up or didn't see enough of the original ECW to know that Dreamer ALWAYS LOST. Fortune tag in and out and take turns beating Dreamer up. Dreamer goes for the DDT on Roode and AJ comes off the top to try and nail Dreamer, but Dreamer ducks and AJ nails Storm, so Dreamer hits the DDT on Roode and he's gone.
Robert Roode is eliminated.
Storm charges Dreamer and gets rolled up, and he's gone.
James Storm is eliminated.
So we're down to Dreamer and AJ, and AJ goes for the Styles Clash but Dreamer backdrops out and catches AJ in a Crippler Crossface, but AJ makes the ropes. Dreamer reverses a whip to a DVD attempt, but AJ slips out and hits a dropkick. AJ off the ropes with the Fancy Kneedrop but Dreamer moves, he goes for the DDT but AJ reverses into a cross armbreaker, but Dreamer makes the ropes. AJ with a slam and goes up top, but Dreamer recovers and nails him and gets a superplex. Dreamer goes over to AJ, looks Flair right in the eyes, and goes for the figure four, but Matt Morgan tries to come in. Dreamer crotches him on the top rop as Foley beats Flair up at ringside, and Dreamer turns around and eats a Pelle Kick and that's enough for AJ to get the win.
Winner: AJ Styles
No time to dwell on that, we have to head to commercial, and Angle/Hardy vs Pope/Anderson is up next!
Pope and Anderson have a little conference in the corner as the bell rings, so Angle comes up behind Pope and suplexes him out of his shoes and then tags in Hardy, and Angle sets up so Hardy can hit Poetry In Motion and then the springboard dropkick in the corner. Pope starts firing back and looks at Anderson untrustingly, then tags him in. Anderson picks Hardy up and goes for a right, but Hardy blocks and gets an inverted atomic drop, double legdrop to the crotch, and a diving dropkick, then nails Pope, but Anderson recovers and kills Hardy with a clothesline for 2. Pope tags himself in and snapmares Hardy, pulls down the kneepads and gets a Ric Flair kneedrop out of the corner for 2. Pope tags Anderson back in and holds Hardy so Anderson can nail him in the ribs. Anderson with a slam and covers for 2, and it appears that Anderson's reluctant to go all out against his friend Hardy, so instead we HIT THE CHINLOCK! Hardy elbows out and comes off the ropes, Anderson catches him and tries for the Mic Check, but Hardy escapes and hits Anderson with a Diamond Cutter. Both men make the hot tag and Angle comes in and nails Pope with a series of clotheslines and an overhead belly to belly, then a German Suplex for Anderson, then one for Pope, and he covers Pope, but Anderson breaks it up but Anderson nails him with a clothesline. Hardy comes off the top rope with the Whisper In The Wind, but Anderson moves and Hardy nails Angle, so Anderson hits the Mic Check and Pope steals the cover and pins Angle.
Winners: Ken Anderson & The Pope
Pope and Anderson smile at each other briefly before they start duking it out, and they tumble out to the floor together as Angle and Hardy recover in the ring and they go face to face over what just happened. Now Hardy and Angle start going at it as Pope and Anderson continue to brawl out on the floor, and Angle sends Hardy out to the floor, then follows him outside as security comes out to try and break this up, and we are off the air!
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