Travicity
01-21-2011, 12:10 AM
Who is the Coolest Movie Robot?
We racked out cybernetic brains to figure out who (or what) is our favorite movie robot in the history of mechanical men. The criteria is based on look, originality, charisma and their programming. Do you agree with our choices? Sound off in the comments below with your picks.
100
Wheelie - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Wheelie, a Transformer disguised as a remote control car, has the hots for Mikaela Banes (but really, who doesn't), but he lets his smoking exhaust pipe stand in the way of his true mission: steal the AllSpark shard.
Unfortuantely for Wheelie, he's the same height as Tom Cruise and Mikaela easily traps him inside a trunk. At least he'll have some alone time to release the...tension.
99
Eyeborgs - Eyeborgs
What if mobile security camera robots...had weapons.
Then they'd be Eyeborgs! The schlocky B-movie tackles Big Brother with a worst case killer robot scenario, one in which the military funnels millions of dollars into a spy program that goes haywire. Oh, the government, they'll just never learn.
The complacent Eyeborgs whip out their hidden weaponry and go rogue, after hearing a Machete 2 might be on the way.
98
Mechani-Kong - King Kong Escapes
Believe it or not, Mechani-Kong was never intended to fight King Kong. His true purpose was mining Element X for the nefarious Dr. Who (not that Dr. Who) along with his wife, Madame X (in no way related to Element X).
Oh, but don't worry - Mechani-Kong most definitely fights King Kong.
97
Robot - Heavy Metal
Robots aren't just play things. They need commitment.
In the Heavy Metal segment "So Beautiful and So Dangerous," John Candy's robot convinces the beautiful Gloria to sleep with him, only to realize that what he really wants is marriage. This does not computer for Gloria.
96
J-5 - Blankman
J-5 is one step up from the DIY robot you constructed out of household objects as a kid. The only breathing sentiant life into it was the fuel cell of your imagination.
Blankman has a childlike mind and an apptitude for refrigerator repair, which he's able to spin into the bomb-defusing pile of scrap metal that he goes "friend," J-5.
95
Solo
Mario van Peebles plays Solo, an android with a heart of gold (and low percentages of other more common metals).
An inexplicable flaw in Solo's programming leads the assassin robot to flee to the jungle, where other stuff happens that is less important than watching a robot blow sh*t up. Yes, the movie's derivative, but really, what robot isn't?!
Deep, right?
94
Val Comm 17485 - Heartbeeps
Robots have the ability to love, they just need to find the right robolady.
When Val Comm 17485 (voiced by Andy Kaufman) meets Aqua Com 89045 (Bernadette Peters) at the repair facility, it's love at first 01110011 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100. Their indisputable feelings for one another send the robotic couple on the run, where they even end up having a robotic baby. Charming...
93
Cherry 2000 - Cherry 2000
Warning: do not make impromptu love to your hot robotic wife near active dish washing. The suds may cause short circuiting.
The only place you're going to find a replacement Cherry 2000 model is in the conveinently industrial, post-apocalyptic wasteland of America - so don't get her wet, OK?
92
Toy Santa - Santa Clause 2
Santa Claus, the man, can forgive a child's misbehavior or a mistake made at the factory. Santa Claus, the replicant android...can't. In fact, minor infractions turn him into a totalitarian dictator.
We bet he gives good presents though!
91
T-X - Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
T-X is Skynet's only Terminator gyroid, a hot chick with a drive to change the future through lethal hand-to-hand combat. It might be OK if she was up for a little forplay first, but T-X is all action upfront. Thankfully, when you strip her down to her metallic core, she ain't so pretty.
90
Ellie - Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Halloween III decided it was time to move on from Michael Myers-themed stories and concentrate on all the other exciting All Hallow's Eve tales worth telling.
Bad move.
Dr. Dan Challis and Ellie, the daughter of a recently murdered man, uncover a plot by an evil Irish businessman to kill thousands of children on Halloween using a popular mask. Using a chip (containing a fragment of Stonehenge), the Irishman can use magic from the Gaelic holiday Samhain to blah blah blah - Ellie turns out to be an android.
Don't question the ludicrous plot - it's Halloween. Nothing makes sense on Halloween.
89
Ulysses - Making Mr. Right
You have to be at a pretty low point in your social life to build an android replica of yourself to hang out with every day.
In Making Mr. Right scientist Jeff (the always wacky John Malkovich) builds Ulysses (equally wacky) to live out his dream of traveling through space and fill a gaping hole in his weekend plans. Like all good friends, Ulysses is wooed away by an attractive PR woman, and Jeff comes to the realization that robots f*cking suck.
88
Thumb-Thumb - Spy Kids
Built under the guise of Fegan Floop's TV kids show, the Thumb-Thumbs were, in reality, the technical genius' robot servents. In large numbers, the Thumb-Thumbs were capable of taking out any of Floop's enemies.
No one beats the anthropomorphic apendages in a thumb war.
87
The Green Goblin Truck - Maximum Overdrive
The end of Stephen King's magnum opus Maximum Overdrive reveals that the livening up of inanimate objects may have been the work of invading aliens.
Eh, logic has no place in this horror flick. There's a mack truck that kills people and demands humans to pump it fuel - there may never be a more Midwestern robot attack.
86
M.A.R.K.-13 - Hardware
M.A.R.K.-13 started as just a head. A head bent on murdering civilians.
Designed by the government to decrease the rapidly-growing population, M.A.R.K.-13 is able to rebuild himself out of any household materials and does so after being picked up by a metal sculptress. How unlucky is that?
We mean for M.A.R.K.-13 - we're sure the "art" was hidious.
85
Bomb #20 - Dark Star
A bomb with a brain. Bad idea.
In Dark Star, Bomb #20 is going througha severe existential crisis and just when Commander Powell and Lt. Doolittle believe they've calmed the hot-headed explosive down, he goes off and blows the ship to smithereens.
Everyone once to go out with a bang, but not when the bang is the one who decides when to go.
84
Galaxina - Galaxina
We fully support any android design that takes body dimensions as seriously as programmable logic.
Busty robot Galaxina is put in charge of a police space cruiser while the rest of the crew is in suspended animation. Surprisingly, when all the men wake up, they really really really want to be Galaxina's friend...
83
Necron-99 - Wizards
Assassinating a Fairy President takes a lot out of a robot, even the drive for world domination.
Necron-99 was following orders when he was out to kill any and all believers in magic, but after taking out the President, felt a change of heart. The swirling Nazi propaganda being used by his mutant cohorts wasn't convincing, pushing Necron-99 to join the other team.
It's like a mirror universe where Lee Harvey Oswald was recruited by the FBI after killing JFK because he felt bad afterward. A world where people just get along.
82
Sentinels - X-Men: The Last Stand
Fans demanded the inclusion of two things when an X-Men movie was first announced: The Danger Room and Sentinels.
Brett Ratner finally gave them both (for better or worse) in X-Men: The Last Stand, when a Wolverine/Colossus combo takes down one of the ten-story mutant-killing robots in a Danger Room training mission. Two birds, one claw.
81
Weebo - Flubber
Weebo was the absent-minded professor Philip Brainard's assistant, and like many lab partners, they fell in love.
Well, Weebo fell in love with Brainard. Brainard just played with Flubber all day. Sadly, even after projecting her feelings using holographic metaphors, Brainard still didn't warm up to the idea of man-on-hovering-robot relations. Luckily, they still remained friends (awwwww, Disney movie)
80
Spider-Bots - Runaway
Robot spiders: the perfect weapon.
In the 1984 film Runaway (written and directed by Michael Crichton), Sgt. Ramsey (Tom Selleck) is tracking clues leading to the culprit behind the first robot-assisted murders. The spider bots he discovers are particularly harrowing. The tiny, mechanized arachnids murder their victims by injecting them with poison, then self-destructing as to leave no evidence behind.
Better go check under your bed for any robot spiders.
79
KM-14 - Jason X
After hockey mask-wearing killer Jason escapes from cryogenic freezing on board the spaceship Grendel in the year 2455 (oof), he - no surprise there - goes on a mass murdering spree. None of the weakling humans stand a chance against the savage manbeast, but luckily they have a robot companion.
KM-14, originally a chaperone on a the teen space cadets field trip, upgrades to gun-toting ass-kicker to take on Jason. Needless to say, it's not as easy as her hardwired intellect predicts.
78
Jinx - Spacecamp
Oh, Jinx, you wiley Space Camp robot.
After overhearing chubby Max dream of going to space, Jinx does what only a robot friend would do: launches Max and his friends into space. Without enough oxygen. Or a skill set that would allow them to return home.
Thanks, Jinx.
77
The Golden Army - Hellyboy II
The Golden Army was oringally created by Elves to wipe out the human race. We're glad that didn't work out.
Years later, the nefarious Elf Prince Nuada would resurrect The Golden Army in hopes of once again destroying humanity, but thanks to Hellboy, the plans fell through. The steampunk creations gave him a run for his money, but when Big Red got to the source of the problem (a crown in which the wearer activates the bots), shutting the operation down wasn't a problem. All it took were a few hard punches.
76
The Harvester - Terminator Salvation
All those years of responding to human programmers' codes and building flimsy crap in factories really pissed robots off. So when they finally got the upperhand, it was payback time.
The Harvester is biggest, baddest Terminator around, sent out to the desolate plains to collect the remaining stragglers who haven't already been pulverized by Skynet's mighty hand. Why they didn't send this dude is anyone's guess (ours: very tiny time machine), but in 2018, he's the guy you run from.
75
Hector - Saturn 3
A robot programmer's own feelings often bleed into his creations. See: Hector, the robot infused with brain matter and delegated orders by the psychopathic Benson. Benson had the hots for Alex (she's played by Farrah Fawcett, so this was not directly linked to his psychopathic behavior), so when he reprogrammed Hector, he infused the robot with that same lust.
Robot love Alex. Robot give Alex love! Robot kill Alex! With love!
74
Droideka - Star Wars Saga
You knew you were in a new school Star Wars movie when Droidekas first rolled up to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to unleash a sh*tstorm of laser blasts. No, it makes no sense why these things existed in the past and were never seen again, but taken out of context, they kick (blast?) major ass.
73
Alice - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
People go to college for two reasons.
1. Learn important lessons.
2. Get laid.
Sam Witwicky did both during his short time at Princeton, briefly hooking up with Alice and learning the important lesson to always check betweeh the legs of a prospective mate for any semblance of a tail. Alice is the sexy Transformers answer to Terminator and just as lethal.
72
Gort - Day the Earth Stood Still (Remake)
Revamped from its simple, 1950s design, the new Day the Earth Stood Still featured a shapeshifting Gort, capable of reconstructing himself through nanotechnology into a one-eyed monster or a cloud of destruction.
Gort might be destroying the world, but we're all in favor of taking out The Giants. Go Jets!
71
Robot - Lost in Space
"DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!"
In the Lost in Space big screen adaptation, the Jupiter 2's maintenance robot is attacked by Spcae Spiders and loses its original, meager casing. Thanks to boy genius Will, he gets a snazzy upgrade and goes from weakling alert bot to badass protector.
Now the robot makes danger, Will Robinso
70
Bubo - Clash of the Titans
Athena, godess of war and wisdom, is a smart lady. She doesn't just lend her pet owl Bubo to any old hero looking to slay Medusa and defeat the Kraken.
Instead, she comissions a robotic double to be made and give to Perseus, who comes in handy in sticky situations. No word if patent law has dried up since he was first constructed in Ancient Greece.
69
Armored Drones - Iron Man 2
Forged by Ivan Vanko as a splitting image of Iron Man, Justin Hammer's Armored Drones pack a hell of a lot of punch and deliver sizeable explosions - especially when they're targeting highly populated areas. But Tony Stark proved (as he always does) that man's willpower can overcome a robots brute force.
It helps that he was sober while trying to affirm this fact.
68
Hero Robot #1 & #2 - Electroma
Forget Tron Legacy - this is the Daft Punk movie you have to see.
Starring the electronica duo's robotic counterparts, Hero Robot #1 & #2, Electroma is like Gus van Sant's Gerry but with mechanical leads. The perk is that when the two robots realize they're not getting anywhere, they have self-detonation triggers on their backs. Philosophy, explosions and Daft Punk. Perfect combo.
67
Gigolo Joe - A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
Once in awhile, women need some robotic love too (from a machine they don't need to hold).
Gigolo Joe is the future of pleasure bots. Able to change his hair color, swagger and music choice at the crack of the neck, Joe is the ultimate in Mecha lovers. He also, as it turns out, is a great tour guide. You have to know the town to know the town, if you know what we mean.
66
AMEE - Red Planet
When the terraforming crew crash lands off course of their planned mission, all hell breaks loose. It doesn't help that they build a military-grade robot susceptible to denting with them.
AMEE, repurposed for the Mars mission, reverts back to her normal, man-killing self after bumping her head and feeling stilted by the men of the crew. Oh, women!
65
Sheldon - I'm Here
Spike Jonze followed up his melancholy monster movie Where the Wild Things Are, with a melancholy short film about robots called I'm Here.
The boxheaded library assistant at the center of the story is Sheldon, who desperately seeks companionship. When he finds it, he gives everything he has to keep her - including most of his appendages.
64
Astroboy
Ethics? Who needs them.
When Dr. Bill Tenma's son Toby was killed in a failed science experiment, he took the next logical step: recreate him as a robitic clone, complete with rocket feet and laser blaster arms. Those will come in handy when he goes out for the baseball team. Or was it the scum of Metro City? Either way, might as well if you're replacing your dead son with a robot.
63
Alastatia - Toys
What's worse than finding out late in your life that you were adopted? Not much, that kind of sucks.
But a close second is finding out your only sister was a gynoid. In the heat battle to take back his father's toy factory from the warmongering General Leland Zevo, Leslie's "sister" Alastatia is badly wounded...revealing her android center. Luckily, when you live in a toy factory, rebuilding your robotic siblings is a minutes-long task.
62
Robot - Castle in the Sky
Even the most diabolical of robots are susceptible by flirtation.
Muska uses his robot to force Sheeta to help him find the mysterious floating island of Laputa. Well guess what - the robot likes a lady's friendship a lot more than the enslavement by douchebag. The robot ends up helping Sheeta, who is revealed to be the leader of Laputa. The robot is revealed to still be a robot, but a happy one.
61
Spyders - Minority Report
Peek-a-boo! We caught you! In a bath...full...of...ice...
The Spyders are the Pre-Crime's answer to runaways, malleable robotic creatures who can slither and creep their way to any hiding spot. When they catch you, they just scan your eye and - poof - you're owned.
Now say you had your eyes surgically removed and replaced by another pair...
60
Marvin - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
There's a lot to be afraid of while traveling space. Alien attacks, portals to other dimensions, heading in the wrong direction of the restaurant at the end of the galaxy - a lot of pressure, and even more that could go wrong.
No wonder Marvin is such a paranoid bot. He has a lot of headroom to fill with wandering thoughts and he does so while the Heart of Gold's crew gets caught up in equally terrifying situations.
59
Zygon - Starchase: The Legend of Orin
If you drop acid while reciting Tolkein's Silmarillion aloud and Star Wars plays in the background, you may spend two years of your life accidently making Starchaser: The Lengend of Orin.
We don't want anyone becoming dizzy and falling out of their chairs, so we'll forgo the lengthy plot explanation. Just know robots are trying to take over and - gasp - the bad guy's one of them! REVEAL.
But since the movie's the physical manifestation of an eight-year-old's hypeactivity after ten bowls of cereal, the story doesn't dwell on it too much. Get to the robot war!
58
Wind-Up Robot - Zathura
Jon Favreau channeled the retro look of early 20th century tin toys when he filled the necessary sci-fi trope of crazed robot in his sci-fi flick Zathura.
Walter receives a dreadful clue from the board game: YOUR ROBOT IS DEFECTIVE. What's the defective part? The robot trying to kil kids or the robot not taking the time to walk through doorways while attempting to kill kids?
57
EVE - Wall-E
The Axiom, a spaceship carrying the remaining remanants of humanity, sends a probe back to their home planet to check if sh*t's figured its self out. Typical.
While there, the Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator or EVE falls for a romantic little compactor bot - and who wouldn't. Look at that sleek design, the glow of her shiny exterior. Makes us want to get cozy with our iPhones.
56
Box - Logan's Run
"Fish, and plankton, and sea greens, and protein from the sea. It's all here. Ready! Fresh as harvest day!"
During Logan and Jessica's escape from the domed city, the duo encounter the poetic Box, a robot programmed to freeze any food that comes his way - including runners. Being smarter than a bag of frozen peas, Logan takes Box down, trapping him under ice.
55
CHIP - Not Quite Human
Is there nothing Alan Thicke can't do?
In Not Quite Human, Thicke's Dr. Jonas Carson invents an android that looks like a seventeen-year-old boy. After taking the boy robot on as his own son, Carson becomes a science teacher and enrolls CHIP in the school. Seems like a waste of time and money, but hey, whatever floats his boat. We doubt anyone's going to argue with Alan Thicke's methods.
54
Enforcer Bots - THX-1138
The circle of robotic life: THX builds the robot, the robot comes to life, the robot becomes a police officer, police officer robot forces THX to build more robots.
When THX-1138 decides to break out of his routine, all hell breaks loose. The enforcer robots team up to take down THX, but they lack the necessary advantage to beating him: emotion. Also, laser guns on their arms.
53
Fix-Its - *batteries not included
Before there were Roombas, there were the Fix-Its from *batteries not included.
Appearing just in time to save the tenents of a rundown apartment from being thrown to the curb, the little buggers fly in to the rescue and...fix it. Grandma was always one for clever names.
52
Rodney - Robots
Being an inventor in a world populated entirely by robots is a bit like playing God - but that's why they call Rodney a dreamer. Well, that's what his father calls him. Everyone else calls him "HEY YOU ROBOT GETTA OUT THE ROBOT WAY YOU'RE CLOGGING ALL THE ROBOT TRAFFIC."
Not every robot is cut out for the robot city.
51
Devestator - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Cool! Devestator is a Transformer assembled from several construction vehicle robots! That wrecking ball would make a sweet arm weap--
Ah. No. The wrecking ball is going to be Devestator's actual balls. Mind-blowing.
50
ABC Warrior - Judge Dredd
Former street judge Rico brushes off a decommissioned ABC Warrior robot to use in his psychopathic plan to tarnish Judge Dredd's name.
The hulking robot is more of a status symbol - Rico only whips it out of his back pocket to fight Dredd in the last big action scene. Rico falls to his death, but not before winning some style points for robotic destruction.
UGO
Part 2 Coming...
We racked out cybernetic brains to figure out who (or what) is our favorite movie robot in the history of mechanical men. The criteria is based on look, originality, charisma and their programming. Do you agree with our choices? Sound off in the comments below with your picks.
100
Wheelie - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Wheelie, a Transformer disguised as a remote control car, has the hots for Mikaela Banes (but really, who doesn't), but he lets his smoking exhaust pipe stand in the way of his true mission: steal the AllSpark shard.
Unfortuantely for Wheelie, he's the same height as Tom Cruise and Mikaela easily traps him inside a trunk. At least he'll have some alone time to release the...tension.
99
Eyeborgs - Eyeborgs
What if mobile security camera robots...had weapons.
Then they'd be Eyeborgs! The schlocky B-movie tackles Big Brother with a worst case killer robot scenario, one in which the military funnels millions of dollars into a spy program that goes haywire. Oh, the government, they'll just never learn.
The complacent Eyeborgs whip out their hidden weaponry and go rogue, after hearing a Machete 2 might be on the way.
98
Mechani-Kong - King Kong Escapes
Believe it or not, Mechani-Kong was never intended to fight King Kong. His true purpose was mining Element X for the nefarious Dr. Who (not that Dr. Who) along with his wife, Madame X (in no way related to Element X).
Oh, but don't worry - Mechani-Kong most definitely fights King Kong.
97
Robot - Heavy Metal
Robots aren't just play things. They need commitment.
In the Heavy Metal segment "So Beautiful and So Dangerous," John Candy's robot convinces the beautiful Gloria to sleep with him, only to realize that what he really wants is marriage. This does not computer for Gloria.
96
J-5 - Blankman
J-5 is one step up from the DIY robot you constructed out of household objects as a kid. The only breathing sentiant life into it was the fuel cell of your imagination.
Blankman has a childlike mind and an apptitude for refrigerator repair, which he's able to spin into the bomb-defusing pile of scrap metal that he goes "friend," J-5.
95
Solo
Mario van Peebles plays Solo, an android with a heart of gold (and low percentages of other more common metals).
An inexplicable flaw in Solo's programming leads the assassin robot to flee to the jungle, where other stuff happens that is less important than watching a robot blow sh*t up. Yes, the movie's derivative, but really, what robot isn't?!
Deep, right?
94
Val Comm 17485 - Heartbeeps
Robots have the ability to love, they just need to find the right robolady.
When Val Comm 17485 (voiced by Andy Kaufman) meets Aqua Com 89045 (Bernadette Peters) at the repair facility, it's love at first 01110011 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100. Their indisputable feelings for one another send the robotic couple on the run, where they even end up having a robotic baby. Charming...
93
Cherry 2000 - Cherry 2000
Warning: do not make impromptu love to your hot robotic wife near active dish washing. The suds may cause short circuiting.
The only place you're going to find a replacement Cherry 2000 model is in the conveinently industrial, post-apocalyptic wasteland of America - so don't get her wet, OK?
92
Toy Santa - Santa Clause 2
Santa Claus, the man, can forgive a child's misbehavior or a mistake made at the factory. Santa Claus, the replicant android...can't. In fact, minor infractions turn him into a totalitarian dictator.
We bet he gives good presents though!
91
T-X - Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
T-X is Skynet's only Terminator gyroid, a hot chick with a drive to change the future through lethal hand-to-hand combat. It might be OK if she was up for a little forplay first, but T-X is all action upfront. Thankfully, when you strip her down to her metallic core, she ain't so pretty.
90
Ellie - Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Halloween III decided it was time to move on from Michael Myers-themed stories and concentrate on all the other exciting All Hallow's Eve tales worth telling.
Bad move.
Dr. Dan Challis and Ellie, the daughter of a recently murdered man, uncover a plot by an evil Irish businessman to kill thousands of children on Halloween using a popular mask. Using a chip (containing a fragment of Stonehenge), the Irishman can use magic from the Gaelic holiday Samhain to blah blah blah - Ellie turns out to be an android.
Don't question the ludicrous plot - it's Halloween. Nothing makes sense on Halloween.
89
Ulysses - Making Mr. Right
You have to be at a pretty low point in your social life to build an android replica of yourself to hang out with every day.
In Making Mr. Right scientist Jeff (the always wacky John Malkovich) builds Ulysses (equally wacky) to live out his dream of traveling through space and fill a gaping hole in his weekend plans. Like all good friends, Ulysses is wooed away by an attractive PR woman, and Jeff comes to the realization that robots f*cking suck.
88
Thumb-Thumb - Spy Kids
Built under the guise of Fegan Floop's TV kids show, the Thumb-Thumbs were, in reality, the technical genius' robot servents. In large numbers, the Thumb-Thumbs were capable of taking out any of Floop's enemies.
No one beats the anthropomorphic apendages in a thumb war.
87
The Green Goblin Truck - Maximum Overdrive
The end of Stephen King's magnum opus Maximum Overdrive reveals that the livening up of inanimate objects may have been the work of invading aliens.
Eh, logic has no place in this horror flick. There's a mack truck that kills people and demands humans to pump it fuel - there may never be a more Midwestern robot attack.
86
M.A.R.K.-13 - Hardware
M.A.R.K.-13 started as just a head. A head bent on murdering civilians.
Designed by the government to decrease the rapidly-growing population, M.A.R.K.-13 is able to rebuild himself out of any household materials and does so after being picked up by a metal sculptress. How unlucky is that?
We mean for M.A.R.K.-13 - we're sure the "art" was hidious.
85
Bomb #20 - Dark Star
A bomb with a brain. Bad idea.
In Dark Star, Bomb #20 is going througha severe existential crisis and just when Commander Powell and Lt. Doolittle believe they've calmed the hot-headed explosive down, he goes off and blows the ship to smithereens.
Everyone once to go out with a bang, but not when the bang is the one who decides when to go.
84
Galaxina - Galaxina
We fully support any android design that takes body dimensions as seriously as programmable logic.
Busty robot Galaxina is put in charge of a police space cruiser while the rest of the crew is in suspended animation. Surprisingly, when all the men wake up, they really really really want to be Galaxina's friend...
83
Necron-99 - Wizards
Assassinating a Fairy President takes a lot out of a robot, even the drive for world domination.
Necron-99 was following orders when he was out to kill any and all believers in magic, but after taking out the President, felt a change of heart. The swirling Nazi propaganda being used by his mutant cohorts wasn't convincing, pushing Necron-99 to join the other team.
It's like a mirror universe where Lee Harvey Oswald was recruited by the FBI after killing JFK because he felt bad afterward. A world where people just get along.
82
Sentinels - X-Men: The Last Stand
Fans demanded the inclusion of two things when an X-Men movie was first announced: The Danger Room and Sentinels.
Brett Ratner finally gave them both (for better or worse) in X-Men: The Last Stand, when a Wolverine/Colossus combo takes down one of the ten-story mutant-killing robots in a Danger Room training mission. Two birds, one claw.
81
Weebo - Flubber
Weebo was the absent-minded professor Philip Brainard's assistant, and like many lab partners, they fell in love.
Well, Weebo fell in love with Brainard. Brainard just played with Flubber all day. Sadly, even after projecting her feelings using holographic metaphors, Brainard still didn't warm up to the idea of man-on-hovering-robot relations. Luckily, they still remained friends (awwwww, Disney movie)
80
Spider-Bots - Runaway
Robot spiders: the perfect weapon.
In the 1984 film Runaway (written and directed by Michael Crichton), Sgt. Ramsey (Tom Selleck) is tracking clues leading to the culprit behind the first robot-assisted murders. The spider bots he discovers are particularly harrowing. The tiny, mechanized arachnids murder their victims by injecting them with poison, then self-destructing as to leave no evidence behind.
Better go check under your bed for any robot spiders.
79
KM-14 - Jason X
After hockey mask-wearing killer Jason escapes from cryogenic freezing on board the spaceship Grendel in the year 2455 (oof), he - no surprise there - goes on a mass murdering spree. None of the weakling humans stand a chance against the savage manbeast, but luckily they have a robot companion.
KM-14, originally a chaperone on a the teen space cadets field trip, upgrades to gun-toting ass-kicker to take on Jason. Needless to say, it's not as easy as her hardwired intellect predicts.
78
Jinx - Spacecamp
Oh, Jinx, you wiley Space Camp robot.
After overhearing chubby Max dream of going to space, Jinx does what only a robot friend would do: launches Max and his friends into space. Without enough oxygen. Or a skill set that would allow them to return home.
Thanks, Jinx.
77
The Golden Army - Hellyboy II
The Golden Army was oringally created by Elves to wipe out the human race. We're glad that didn't work out.
Years later, the nefarious Elf Prince Nuada would resurrect The Golden Army in hopes of once again destroying humanity, but thanks to Hellboy, the plans fell through. The steampunk creations gave him a run for his money, but when Big Red got to the source of the problem (a crown in which the wearer activates the bots), shutting the operation down wasn't a problem. All it took were a few hard punches.
76
The Harvester - Terminator Salvation
All those years of responding to human programmers' codes and building flimsy crap in factories really pissed robots off. So when they finally got the upperhand, it was payback time.
The Harvester is biggest, baddest Terminator around, sent out to the desolate plains to collect the remaining stragglers who haven't already been pulverized by Skynet's mighty hand. Why they didn't send this dude is anyone's guess (ours: very tiny time machine), but in 2018, he's the guy you run from.
75
Hector - Saturn 3
A robot programmer's own feelings often bleed into his creations. See: Hector, the robot infused with brain matter and delegated orders by the psychopathic Benson. Benson had the hots for Alex (she's played by Farrah Fawcett, so this was not directly linked to his psychopathic behavior), so when he reprogrammed Hector, he infused the robot with that same lust.
Robot love Alex. Robot give Alex love! Robot kill Alex! With love!
74
Droideka - Star Wars Saga
You knew you were in a new school Star Wars movie when Droidekas first rolled up to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to unleash a sh*tstorm of laser blasts. No, it makes no sense why these things existed in the past and were never seen again, but taken out of context, they kick (blast?) major ass.
73
Alice - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
People go to college for two reasons.
1. Learn important lessons.
2. Get laid.
Sam Witwicky did both during his short time at Princeton, briefly hooking up with Alice and learning the important lesson to always check betweeh the legs of a prospective mate for any semblance of a tail. Alice is the sexy Transformers answer to Terminator and just as lethal.
72
Gort - Day the Earth Stood Still (Remake)
Revamped from its simple, 1950s design, the new Day the Earth Stood Still featured a shapeshifting Gort, capable of reconstructing himself through nanotechnology into a one-eyed monster or a cloud of destruction.
Gort might be destroying the world, but we're all in favor of taking out The Giants. Go Jets!
71
Robot - Lost in Space
"DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!"
In the Lost in Space big screen adaptation, the Jupiter 2's maintenance robot is attacked by Spcae Spiders and loses its original, meager casing. Thanks to boy genius Will, he gets a snazzy upgrade and goes from weakling alert bot to badass protector.
Now the robot makes danger, Will Robinso
70
Bubo - Clash of the Titans
Athena, godess of war and wisdom, is a smart lady. She doesn't just lend her pet owl Bubo to any old hero looking to slay Medusa and defeat the Kraken.
Instead, she comissions a robotic double to be made and give to Perseus, who comes in handy in sticky situations. No word if patent law has dried up since he was first constructed in Ancient Greece.
69
Armored Drones - Iron Man 2
Forged by Ivan Vanko as a splitting image of Iron Man, Justin Hammer's Armored Drones pack a hell of a lot of punch and deliver sizeable explosions - especially when they're targeting highly populated areas. But Tony Stark proved (as he always does) that man's willpower can overcome a robots brute force.
It helps that he was sober while trying to affirm this fact.
68
Hero Robot #1 & #2 - Electroma
Forget Tron Legacy - this is the Daft Punk movie you have to see.
Starring the electronica duo's robotic counterparts, Hero Robot #1 & #2, Electroma is like Gus van Sant's Gerry but with mechanical leads. The perk is that when the two robots realize they're not getting anywhere, they have self-detonation triggers on their backs. Philosophy, explosions and Daft Punk. Perfect combo.
67
Gigolo Joe - A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
Once in awhile, women need some robotic love too (from a machine they don't need to hold).
Gigolo Joe is the future of pleasure bots. Able to change his hair color, swagger and music choice at the crack of the neck, Joe is the ultimate in Mecha lovers. He also, as it turns out, is a great tour guide. You have to know the town to know the town, if you know what we mean.
66
AMEE - Red Planet
When the terraforming crew crash lands off course of their planned mission, all hell breaks loose. It doesn't help that they build a military-grade robot susceptible to denting with them.
AMEE, repurposed for the Mars mission, reverts back to her normal, man-killing self after bumping her head and feeling stilted by the men of the crew. Oh, women!
65
Sheldon - I'm Here
Spike Jonze followed up his melancholy monster movie Where the Wild Things Are, with a melancholy short film about robots called I'm Here.
The boxheaded library assistant at the center of the story is Sheldon, who desperately seeks companionship. When he finds it, he gives everything he has to keep her - including most of his appendages.
64
Astroboy
Ethics? Who needs them.
When Dr. Bill Tenma's son Toby was killed in a failed science experiment, he took the next logical step: recreate him as a robitic clone, complete with rocket feet and laser blaster arms. Those will come in handy when he goes out for the baseball team. Or was it the scum of Metro City? Either way, might as well if you're replacing your dead son with a robot.
63
Alastatia - Toys
What's worse than finding out late in your life that you were adopted? Not much, that kind of sucks.
But a close second is finding out your only sister was a gynoid. In the heat battle to take back his father's toy factory from the warmongering General Leland Zevo, Leslie's "sister" Alastatia is badly wounded...revealing her android center. Luckily, when you live in a toy factory, rebuilding your robotic siblings is a minutes-long task.
62
Robot - Castle in the Sky
Even the most diabolical of robots are susceptible by flirtation.
Muska uses his robot to force Sheeta to help him find the mysterious floating island of Laputa. Well guess what - the robot likes a lady's friendship a lot more than the enslavement by douchebag. The robot ends up helping Sheeta, who is revealed to be the leader of Laputa. The robot is revealed to still be a robot, but a happy one.
61
Spyders - Minority Report
Peek-a-boo! We caught you! In a bath...full...of...ice...
The Spyders are the Pre-Crime's answer to runaways, malleable robotic creatures who can slither and creep their way to any hiding spot. When they catch you, they just scan your eye and - poof - you're owned.
Now say you had your eyes surgically removed and replaced by another pair...
60
Marvin - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
There's a lot to be afraid of while traveling space. Alien attacks, portals to other dimensions, heading in the wrong direction of the restaurant at the end of the galaxy - a lot of pressure, and even more that could go wrong.
No wonder Marvin is such a paranoid bot. He has a lot of headroom to fill with wandering thoughts and he does so while the Heart of Gold's crew gets caught up in equally terrifying situations.
59
Zygon - Starchase: The Legend of Orin
If you drop acid while reciting Tolkein's Silmarillion aloud and Star Wars plays in the background, you may spend two years of your life accidently making Starchaser: The Lengend of Orin.
We don't want anyone becoming dizzy and falling out of their chairs, so we'll forgo the lengthy plot explanation. Just know robots are trying to take over and - gasp - the bad guy's one of them! REVEAL.
But since the movie's the physical manifestation of an eight-year-old's hypeactivity after ten bowls of cereal, the story doesn't dwell on it too much. Get to the robot war!
58
Wind-Up Robot - Zathura
Jon Favreau channeled the retro look of early 20th century tin toys when he filled the necessary sci-fi trope of crazed robot in his sci-fi flick Zathura.
Walter receives a dreadful clue from the board game: YOUR ROBOT IS DEFECTIVE. What's the defective part? The robot trying to kil kids or the robot not taking the time to walk through doorways while attempting to kill kids?
57
EVE - Wall-E
The Axiom, a spaceship carrying the remaining remanants of humanity, sends a probe back to their home planet to check if sh*t's figured its self out. Typical.
While there, the Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator or EVE falls for a romantic little compactor bot - and who wouldn't. Look at that sleek design, the glow of her shiny exterior. Makes us want to get cozy with our iPhones.
56
Box - Logan's Run
"Fish, and plankton, and sea greens, and protein from the sea. It's all here. Ready! Fresh as harvest day!"
During Logan and Jessica's escape from the domed city, the duo encounter the poetic Box, a robot programmed to freeze any food that comes his way - including runners. Being smarter than a bag of frozen peas, Logan takes Box down, trapping him under ice.
55
CHIP - Not Quite Human
Is there nothing Alan Thicke can't do?
In Not Quite Human, Thicke's Dr. Jonas Carson invents an android that looks like a seventeen-year-old boy. After taking the boy robot on as his own son, Carson becomes a science teacher and enrolls CHIP in the school. Seems like a waste of time and money, but hey, whatever floats his boat. We doubt anyone's going to argue with Alan Thicke's methods.
54
Enforcer Bots - THX-1138
The circle of robotic life: THX builds the robot, the robot comes to life, the robot becomes a police officer, police officer robot forces THX to build more robots.
When THX-1138 decides to break out of his routine, all hell breaks loose. The enforcer robots team up to take down THX, but they lack the necessary advantage to beating him: emotion. Also, laser guns on their arms.
53
Fix-Its - *batteries not included
Before there were Roombas, there were the Fix-Its from *batteries not included.
Appearing just in time to save the tenents of a rundown apartment from being thrown to the curb, the little buggers fly in to the rescue and...fix it. Grandma was always one for clever names.
52
Rodney - Robots
Being an inventor in a world populated entirely by robots is a bit like playing God - but that's why they call Rodney a dreamer. Well, that's what his father calls him. Everyone else calls him "HEY YOU ROBOT GETTA OUT THE ROBOT WAY YOU'RE CLOGGING ALL THE ROBOT TRAFFIC."
Not every robot is cut out for the robot city.
51
Devestator - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Cool! Devestator is a Transformer assembled from several construction vehicle robots! That wrecking ball would make a sweet arm weap--
Ah. No. The wrecking ball is going to be Devestator's actual balls. Mind-blowing.
50
ABC Warrior - Judge Dredd
Former street judge Rico brushes off a decommissioned ABC Warrior robot to use in his psychopathic plan to tarnish Judge Dredd's name.
The hulking robot is more of a status symbol - Rico only whips it out of his back pocket to fight Dredd in the last big action scene. Rico falls to his death, but not before winning some style points for robotic destruction.
UGO
Part 2 Coming...