Travicity
01-24-2011, 03:05 PM
Flying Solo: Our Favorite Guys Who Didn't Get (or Need) the Girl
Whether their flying solo or with their bros, these guys are better off without the chicks they were chasing.
25
Bruce Wayne - Batman Begins
Singledom - the cost of being a Batman.
Bruce Wayne's battle against the underworld of Gotham takes its tole on his relationship with childhood sweetheart Rachel, dissipating it into nothing more than hugs, a few awkward smiles and the occasional masked rescue.
If only they could have made it work, perhaps Rachel wouldn't have been blown to bits by an explosive and a room full of chemical tanks.
24
Tom - 500 Days of Summer
We knew it wasn't going to work out - it's in the title!
Tom's romance with Summer escalates from fling to relationship before deconstructing before his very eyes. Don't feel too bad. Summer's kind of a bitch.
23
Holden - Chasing Amy
If you are a straight male, give up on the idea that you have a chance with a hot lesbian, It's not going to happen.
Holden finds himself enthralled with Alyssa, a lesbian he meets at a comic book convention, and eventually convinces her to engage in a romantic relationship with him. Of course it doesn't work - Holden spends his time obsessed with Alyssa's sexual past and pushes her away.
Oh, and she's a LESBIAN. Fool.
22
Harry and Lloyd - Dumb & Dumber
Flubbing their chances to get with the woman they're both chasing, Harry and Llloyd end up alone and walking the long road of solitude at the conclusion of Dumb and Dumber. Then fate comes along and smies upon them, in the form of a bus full of super models pulling up beside them.
Men every where release a collective sigh of despair when the duo sends the girls on their way, leaving them alone once again.
21
Jay - Men in Black 2
In Men in Black 2, Jay learns the important lesson of never falling for the talent. Especially if they're the lost princess of another planet.
The Men in Black realize that cutie Laura is in fact, the Light of Zartha, the ultimate power source of the universe. In order to maintain order in the galaxy, Laura returned to her home planet and Jay was left standing, looking at the stars.
20
Jack Sparrow - Pirates of the Caribbean
A night alone on a pirate drop-off spot helped Johnny Depp woo Elizabeth Swan from her obvious relationship with Will, but alas, he can't seal the deal.
Too busy sword fighting with the undead. Typical pirate inability to commit. Always busy.
19
James Bond - Quantum of Solace
James Bond only settled down with a lady once in his life, but in the wake of Vespa's death, he always makes sure to get a bang or two in during every mission. Not so in Quantum of Solace, where he lets his emotionally broken leading lady BLANK slip through his fingers. If Bond can't sleep with shattered women, how are we supposed to feel good about it?
18
Sherlock Holmes
Knowing Sherlock, he knew a rekindled romance with Irene was never a possibility. She's a criminal, he's a solver of mysteries - it was never meant to be.
Catching her in the act of deception was the last straw. While we're glad she got her due, we're also glad he took his grief out on Lord Blackwood, by hanging him from the London Bridge.
17
Luke Skywalker - Star Wars Saga
We're kind of glad Luke never got the girl in the Star Wars trilogy. After the revelation of being Leia's brother, the whole kiss thing is creepy enough.
Thankfully, Luke as a few Jedi tricks in his back pocket for anyone who brings up the embarrassing incident.
16
James Kirk - Star Trek
Damn you timeline altering events. Kirk is supposed to be the ladies man.
Kirk thought Uhura was playing hard to get after several attempts to woo her with his arrogant approach, but to his surprise, she was sneaking in some highly suspicious behavior with a familiar Vulcan. Spock macking on Uhura? Highly illogica
15
Kal-El - Superman Returns
Superman returns (ha!) from the remnants of Krypton to find his on/off girlfriend Lois married to the dashing son of Perry White, but even worse, a child.
While the fire of romance appears to be present in Lois' heart (Supes can tell, he has x-ray vision), her family and present life comes first, leaving Superman alone...creepily visiting his might/might not be child in the middle of the night. Maury would not approve.
14
Viktor Navorski - The Terminal
Viktor Navorski struck up romance with flight attendant Amelia while trapped in New York's JFK airport. But even after a successful dinner date, Amelia decides its more important to help Viktor escape immigration law constraints by sleeping with her government official ex-lover then continue her casual romance. She ends up falling back for her old man, leaving Viktor alone and cold (and in a NYC cab!).
13
Randy - The Wrestler
A broken down piece of meat crosses paths with a down-and-out stripper and the two form an unlikely relationship. Unlikely to last, that is.
While Cassidy sticks with Randy to his final match, their newfound romance isn't enough to keep him from sacrificing himself one more time in the ring. But knowing wrestling, he'll probably come back from the dead for another match and it will all work out.
12
Ryan Bingham - Up in the Air - Didn't Get the Girl
Sometimes not getting the girl is the existential wake up call a man needs.
Ryan Bingham spent most of his life on the road, but after a run-in with the like-minded BLANK, his whole life changed. The king of relocating settle down? It almost happened. Unfortunately for Bingham, BLANK turned out to have a family on the side. Rut roh.
11
Rudy Duncan - Reindeer Games
After all the twists and turns in Reindeer Games, there's no wonder Ben Affleck's Rudy doesn't end up with the girl. Instead, he ends up chained to a burning car, ready to be driven off a cliff.
Turns out the lady he's lusting after has a bit of beef with him. The kind that ends in staged suicide.
10
Rick Blaine - Casablanca
Here's a good way not to get the girl: put her on a plane and tell her if she doesn't leave, she'll regret it. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."
In one of the most famous "didn't get the girl" moments in cinema, Humphry Bogart's Rick watches Isla, his ex (and love of his life?), take off on a plane with her now-husband.
9
Chuck Noland - Cast Away
Chuck Noland returns to the real world after three years on a remote, desert island to find his former fiancee married to another man. C'mon lady, three years isn't that long!
The volleyball would have waited.
8
Peyton Westlake - Darkman
Julie Hastings found it difficult to hide her superficial discomfort with ex-boyfriend Peyton Westlake. May have had something to do with that whole caught-in-a-chemical-explosion-and-transformed-into-a-horribly-disfigured-crimefighter thing.
Westlake tried to make it work, creating artificial skin to mask his deformity, but in the end, Darkman would not have his Darkwoman.
7
Jim McAllister - Election
Thanks to the never-breaking enthusiasm of Tracy Flick, ace history teacher and head of the high school student council Jim McAllister's life spirals out of control, complete with failed affair attempt. To add insult to injury (or other way around), McAllister's also stung by a bee, creating an enormous, swelling bulge under his eye.
It's hard to tell which is worse - the sting of a bee or the sting of a woman.
6
Martin Riggs - Lethal Weapon 2
OK, so Vorstedt murdered Riggs' wife. Pretty big crime, but maybe he could have forgiven him. Maybe.
But then Vorstedt drowns Riggs' current lover. Oh sh*t. Things just got real. Riggs (also thrown to the fishes by Vorstedt) dislocates his arm, escapes the watery grave and goes on an all out vengeful killing spree.
Forget the girl, he wants blood.
5
Guy - Once
The power of love is never stronger when filtered through the music and lyrics of song. It helps the Guy and Girl of Once become entangled with one another, help each other live out their dreams and eventually walk the fine line of romance.
And in true "tortured artist" fashion, Girl's ambiguous boyfriend is too much in the picture for Guy to have a chance. Back to the streets!
4
Bruce Wayne - Batman Returns
Never date the bad guy.
Bruce Wayne once again dabbles in poor relationship choices when he gets in cahoots with Selena Kyle, the woman behind Catwoman's burglar mask. You'd think two people who were so in to leather could make it work, but, alas, the interspecies love never fully blossomed.
3
Mark Zuckerberg - The Social Network
MAAAARRRK!
From the first scene, Mark Zuckerberg was destined to be wallowing alone in his own success. Apparently his girlfriend wasn't a big fan of douchebags. But one can tell Mark kept the hope of getting back with his ex Erica when he wraps his legal battle with a quick friend request. Good luck with that one.
2
Holly Martins - The Third Man
Honesty is the best policy. Especially if you're caught up in a film noir-style murder plot.
Holly Martins uses the safe return of his current romance Anna to ensnare the devious Harry Lime. When Anna finds out she's being used...well, you can imagine how she took it. Above is the greatest dis of all time: Martins pulling over to pick up Anna, and Anna brushing right by him.
1
Doug MacRay - The Town
Yikes - Affleck has a worse time getting the girl than Batman!
In his recent directorial effort "The Town," Affleck cockblocks himself with good writing by sending his notorious bank robber character into hiding, leaving the romantic lead out to dry.
It's cinematic masochism.
UGO
Whether their flying solo or with their bros, these guys are better off without the chicks they were chasing.
25
Bruce Wayne - Batman Begins
Singledom - the cost of being a Batman.
Bruce Wayne's battle against the underworld of Gotham takes its tole on his relationship with childhood sweetheart Rachel, dissipating it into nothing more than hugs, a few awkward smiles and the occasional masked rescue.
If only they could have made it work, perhaps Rachel wouldn't have been blown to bits by an explosive and a room full of chemical tanks.
24
Tom - 500 Days of Summer
We knew it wasn't going to work out - it's in the title!
Tom's romance with Summer escalates from fling to relationship before deconstructing before his very eyes. Don't feel too bad. Summer's kind of a bitch.
23
Holden - Chasing Amy
If you are a straight male, give up on the idea that you have a chance with a hot lesbian, It's not going to happen.
Holden finds himself enthralled with Alyssa, a lesbian he meets at a comic book convention, and eventually convinces her to engage in a romantic relationship with him. Of course it doesn't work - Holden spends his time obsessed with Alyssa's sexual past and pushes her away.
Oh, and she's a LESBIAN. Fool.
22
Harry and Lloyd - Dumb & Dumber
Flubbing their chances to get with the woman they're both chasing, Harry and Llloyd end up alone and walking the long road of solitude at the conclusion of Dumb and Dumber. Then fate comes along and smies upon them, in the form of a bus full of super models pulling up beside them.
Men every where release a collective sigh of despair when the duo sends the girls on their way, leaving them alone once again.
21
Jay - Men in Black 2
In Men in Black 2, Jay learns the important lesson of never falling for the talent. Especially if they're the lost princess of another planet.
The Men in Black realize that cutie Laura is in fact, the Light of Zartha, the ultimate power source of the universe. In order to maintain order in the galaxy, Laura returned to her home planet and Jay was left standing, looking at the stars.
20
Jack Sparrow - Pirates of the Caribbean
A night alone on a pirate drop-off spot helped Johnny Depp woo Elizabeth Swan from her obvious relationship with Will, but alas, he can't seal the deal.
Too busy sword fighting with the undead. Typical pirate inability to commit. Always busy.
19
James Bond - Quantum of Solace
James Bond only settled down with a lady once in his life, but in the wake of Vespa's death, he always makes sure to get a bang or two in during every mission. Not so in Quantum of Solace, where he lets his emotionally broken leading lady BLANK slip through his fingers. If Bond can't sleep with shattered women, how are we supposed to feel good about it?
18
Sherlock Holmes
Knowing Sherlock, he knew a rekindled romance with Irene was never a possibility. She's a criminal, he's a solver of mysteries - it was never meant to be.
Catching her in the act of deception was the last straw. While we're glad she got her due, we're also glad he took his grief out on Lord Blackwood, by hanging him from the London Bridge.
17
Luke Skywalker - Star Wars Saga
We're kind of glad Luke never got the girl in the Star Wars trilogy. After the revelation of being Leia's brother, the whole kiss thing is creepy enough.
Thankfully, Luke as a few Jedi tricks in his back pocket for anyone who brings up the embarrassing incident.
16
James Kirk - Star Trek
Damn you timeline altering events. Kirk is supposed to be the ladies man.
Kirk thought Uhura was playing hard to get after several attempts to woo her with his arrogant approach, but to his surprise, she was sneaking in some highly suspicious behavior with a familiar Vulcan. Spock macking on Uhura? Highly illogica
15
Kal-El - Superman Returns
Superman returns (ha!) from the remnants of Krypton to find his on/off girlfriend Lois married to the dashing son of Perry White, but even worse, a child.
While the fire of romance appears to be present in Lois' heart (Supes can tell, he has x-ray vision), her family and present life comes first, leaving Superman alone...creepily visiting his might/might not be child in the middle of the night. Maury would not approve.
14
Viktor Navorski - The Terminal
Viktor Navorski struck up romance with flight attendant Amelia while trapped in New York's JFK airport. But even after a successful dinner date, Amelia decides its more important to help Viktor escape immigration law constraints by sleeping with her government official ex-lover then continue her casual romance. She ends up falling back for her old man, leaving Viktor alone and cold (and in a NYC cab!).
13
Randy - The Wrestler
A broken down piece of meat crosses paths with a down-and-out stripper and the two form an unlikely relationship. Unlikely to last, that is.
While Cassidy sticks with Randy to his final match, their newfound romance isn't enough to keep him from sacrificing himself one more time in the ring. But knowing wrestling, he'll probably come back from the dead for another match and it will all work out.
12
Ryan Bingham - Up in the Air - Didn't Get the Girl
Sometimes not getting the girl is the existential wake up call a man needs.
Ryan Bingham spent most of his life on the road, but after a run-in with the like-minded BLANK, his whole life changed. The king of relocating settle down? It almost happened. Unfortunately for Bingham, BLANK turned out to have a family on the side. Rut roh.
11
Rudy Duncan - Reindeer Games
After all the twists and turns in Reindeer Games, there's no wonder Ben Affleck's Rudy doesn't end up with the girl. Instead, he ends up chained to a burning car, ready to be driven off a cliff.
Turns out the lady he's lusting after has a bit of beef with him. The kind that ends in staged suicide.
10
Rick Blaine - Casablanca
Here's a good way not to get the girl: put her on a plane and tell her if she doesn't leave, she'll regret it. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."
In one of the most famous "didn't get the girl" moments in cinema, Humphry Bogart's Rick watches Isla, his ex (and love of his life?), take off on a plane with her now-husband.
9
Chuck Noland - Cast Away
Chuck Noland returns to the real world after three years on a remote, desert island to find his former fiancee married to another man. C'mon lady, three years isn't that long!
The volleyball would have waited.
8
Peyton Westlake - Darkman
Julie Hastings found it difficult to hide her superficial discomfort with ex-boyfriend Peyton Westlake. May have had something to do with that whole caught-in-a-chemical-explosion-and-transformed-into-a-horribly-disfigured-crimefighter thing.
Westlake tried to make it work, creating artificial skin to mask his deformity, but in the end, Darkman would not have his Darkwoman.
7
Jim McAllister - Election
Thanks to the never-breaking enthusiasm of Tracy Flick, ace history teacher and head of the high school student council Jim McAllister's life spirals out of control, complete with failed affair attempt. To add insult to injury (or other way around), McAllister's also stung by a bee, creating an enormous, swelling bulge under his eye.
It's hard to tell which is worse - the sting of a bee or the sting of a woman.
6
Martin Riggs - Lethal Weapon 2
OK, so Vorstedt murdered Riggs' wife. Pretty big crime, but maybe he could have forgiven him. Maybe.
But then Vorstedt drowns Riggs' current lover. Oh sh*t. Things just got real. Riggs (also thrown to the fishes by Vorstedt) dislocates his arm, escapes the watery grave and goes on an all out vengeful killing spree.
Forget the girl, he wants blood.
5
Guy - Once
The power of love is never stronger when filtered through the music and lyrics of song. It helps the Guy and Girl of Once become entangled with one another, help each other live out their dreams and eventually walk the fine line of romance.
And in true "tortured artist" fashion, Girl's ambiguous boyfriend is too much in the picture for Guy to have a chance. Back to the streets!
4
Bruce Wayne - Batman Returns
Never date the bad guy.
Bruce Wayne once again dabbles in poor relationship choices when he gets in cahoots with Selena Kyle, the woman behind Catwoman's burglar mask. You'd think two people who were so in to leather could make it work, but, alas, the interspecies love never fully blossomed.
3
Mark Zuckerberg - The Social Network
MAAAARRRK!
From the first scene, Mark Zuckerberg was destined to be wallowing alone in his own success. Apparently his girlfriend wasn't a big fan of douchebags. But one can tell Mark kept the hope of getting back with his ex Erica when he wraps his legal battle with a quick friend request. Good luck with that one.
2
Holly Martins - The Third Man
Honesty is the best policy. Especially if you're caught up in a film noir-style murder plot.
Holly Martins uses the safe return of his current romance Anna to ensnare the devious Harry Lime. When Anna finds out she's being used...well, you can imagine how she took it. Above is the greatest dis of all time: Martins pulling over to pick up Anna, and Anna brushing right by him.
1
Doug MacRay - The Town
Yikes - Affleck has a worse time getting the girl than Batman!
In his recent directorial effort "The Town," Affleck cockblocks himself with good writing by sending his notorious bank robber character into hiding, leaving the romantic lead out to dry.
It's cinematic masochism.
UGO