Travicity
03-16-2011, 10:46 PM
Our Favorite Non-Human Sidekicks
Not every loyal companion has to be a homo sapien.
25
Paul - Paul
Forget anal probing -- Paul doesn't have time to stick anything up your butt. He's too busy drinking, eating birds and smoking marijuana.
Graeme and Clive do most of the talking on their road trip across the American southwest, but Paul helps out where he can, whether its telepathically delivering the British tourists his vast knowledge, turning invisible and snooping around someone's home or throwing a kick ass party. He's talented and worldly. Better yet, universally.
24
Abu - Aladdin
If you're a thief in the ruthless city of Agrabah, it's helpful to have a small, versitile critter on your side. For Aladdin, it's Abu, and while he's known for getting a little sidetracked in his work (the furball loves his apples), he generally comes through at the end for his street rat companion. He also rocks a seriously hip monkey hat, which earns him double the cool points.
23
Draco - Dragonheart
Economic times are tough when a dragonslayer has to team up with the only living dragon left in the world.
Draco strikes a bargin with the knight Bowen to swindle villagers by staging fake battles. Draco swoops in for an attack, Bowen stages a kill, a little Shakespearean bravado and -- BAM -- moolah. Eventually they wise up and defend the rights of the people against the evil king, but if they kept at it, they could have made it all the way to Hollywood.
22
Donkey - Shrek
No man or ogre would last two seconds with the real life Eddie Murphy as their sidekick. He's loud, he's expeditious and he's constantly gunning for the top spot. If he doesn't get his way, he'll walk out.
But when he's a donkey, his insanity is filtered through the giant mouth of a four-hooved creature and he becomes the kind of friend you need to escape the most dangerous of dragon battles.
21
Wilson - Cast Away
Four years on an island will wreck a man, but Chuck Noland made the best of it by making his own company: a volleyball stamped with a handprint of blood. Wison smiles his way through thick and thin, makeshift dental surgery and shoddy escape rafts. An eternal optimist and really good at organized sports.
20
Fozzie Bear - The Muppet Movie
Wakka Wakka Wakka!
Kermit's struggling comedian cohort Fozzie may only land 10% of the jokes he tells, but at the end of the day he'll still board the bus with his head up and take the wheel. The show must go on, and it has too -- Fozzie always has a new joke.
19
Sam the Dog - I Am Legend
Neville is the only unafftected human left in Manhattan after a ravenous disease turned everyone into a blood thirsty, bald zombie, but luckily for his mental psyche, he still had his best friend by his side. Samantha the Dog also survived the outbreak and together, the duo set out to hunt the streets of NYC for test subjects and stray golf balls. It's unknown whether their relationship ever became something steamier.
18
Wicket - Return of the Jedi
Princess Leia got her own sidekick for the third (sixth?) installment of the Star Wars franchise, after crossing paths with the admittedly adorable Ewok, Wicket. Leia was accustomed to laser blasters and futursitic modes of transportation, but Wicket was her ambassador to low-fi technology.
The force is strong with a rock thrown by a three-foot tall teddy bear alien.
17
Samwise Gamgee - Lord of the Rings
Hobbits aren't people, but some people have extremely hairy feet. We can understand the confusion.
Sam is Frodo's dedicated keeper, a halfling who promised to protect the ring by pushing through to Mt. Doom under any cost. Sam didn't look like he was in great shape at the start of LOTR, which makes it surprising that Sam managed to climb mountains and evade Orc attacks, but hey, he lived. And got the short chick in the end.
16
Cris Johnson - District 9
The pacifist alien manages to not kill a single human being during the entire course of District 9, but he certainly alley-oops his partner in crime Wikus, arming him with alien tech to disintegrate anyone who stands in their way. Cris teams up with the evolving MNU member to get to the mothership and it leads to many a homo sapien blood splatter.
15
Mike - Monsters, INC.
Sully is the big monster in town, constantly raking in the most screams a day amongst Monsters, INC. employees. But every scare team needs its handyman sidekick, and that's where Mike comes in. Goofy rather than terrifying, Mike is the idea man behind Sully's award-winning scare tactics. He has an eye for that sort of thing.
14
Barf - Spaceballs
What is he? He's a mog; half man, half dog. What his evil parents were thinking naming him Barf is the confusing part.
Barf rides with Lonestar across the vast galaxies of space looking for space bucks and outrunning the nefarious Pizza the Hut. When he meets golden robot Dot, he finally realizes his purpose in the world: procreating with a heap of circuit boards and wires. Mogbot?
13
Toothless - How to Train Your Dragon
The "boy and his dog" genre is always touching and hard to screw up. The "boy and his dragon" genre? Even better.
Hiccup doesn't have any friends, but when he saves a Night Fury dragon from a Viking trap, he gains the best sidekick a budding warrior could ask for: a fire-breathing, flying monster. It's like discovering a BMW in your backyard and driving it to your friends house. You've officially become "the sh*t."
12
Sonny - I, Robot
First suspected by Del Spooner to be the world's first rogue robot, Sonny ends up making the perfect cybernetic sidekick when sh*t hits the fan and every other robot in the city goes after the detective. Sonny had an advantage -- he knew exactly how to rip a robots head striaght from its neck in a matter of seconds. A human would have to Google that.
11
Jarvis - Tron Legacy
Jarvis is more of Clu 2.0's lackey, but his faithfulness qualifies him for sidekick status. Hoping that one day his devotion to the angsty program will pay off in bits, Jarvis spreads the good word of his mighty boss by rousing crowds on the Game Grid. But he'll never be a real leader. Not with that hair piece.
10
Keenser - Star Trek
The saddest part of Scotty learning warp beaming too early was the premature abandonment of Keenser, the engineer's faithful sidekick. The pint-sized alien is a no nonsense assistant who keeps Scotty in line, even when a time traveling Vulcan shows up at their door to plant some new ideas. Let's pray Keenser is a new staple of J.J. Abrams' series.
9
Dobby - Harry Potter
Dobby was a passable, borderline annoying temporary sidekick for Harry Potter in The Chamber of Secrets, but the scrawny house elf went full on badass when he joined the boy wizard for the first half of his journey in Deathly Hallows. If you don't think you have a personal attachment to Dobby, it's time to rewatch that last scene..
8
Bumblebee - Transformers
The curious Autobot crossed paths with the great great great (more greants) grandson of the man who first discovered the map to the Allspark: Sam Witwicky. Sam and Bumblebee became inseparable, the shapeshifting alien becoming a servent and protector to Sam. He's one ride that will require little to no pimping.
7
Abe Sapien - Hellboy
A great sidekick doens't just take a bullet for you, or help rig a complicated trap to catch the bad guys. These things are important, but you also want a sidekick who can kick back, crack open a beer and spend a night telling drunken war stories.
Abe Sapien and Hellboy couldn't be more of polar opposites, but what they do have in common is being outcasts. Who fight crime. And are monsters. And they love beer.
OK, they're perfect for one another.
6
GERTY - Moon
For a moon base A.I., GERTY must feel pretty bad for his human partner Sam. He caters to his every whim, but in the end he knows that, eventually, Sam's going to be sent to his death...and a new Sam will emerge. But in the face of human rights, GERTY helps set Moon's current iteration of Sam clones free and stands up to any human sidekick in history.
5
Toto - The Wizard of OZ
Somewhere over the rainbow, Toto the tiny terrier pup pointed his snout down the yellow brick road and made sure Dorothy's clumsy ass didn't get lost on her way to the Emerald City. Thinkt he no-brains Scarecrow was remotely helpful? Toto's the reason she even made it back to Kansas!
4
Morph - Treasure Planet
When traveling space for the most legendary of treasures, it's helpful to have a sidekick that can fit in small places. Morph makes the perfect first mate aboard the solar galleon RMS Legacy, as he's just a spat of floating goo, able to change himself into any shape necessary for the job. Just don't wipe him up with Mr. Clean.
3
The Iron Giant - The Iron Giant
The home planet of the Iron Giant is unknown, but a late glimpse at the hidden technology underneath his metal exterior makes one think they may not be such a friendly bunch. When the Iron Giant landed on Earth, the enormous robot bumped his noggin, turning him into clueless creature, quickly shaped into a loving, caring hero by the young Hogarth. He's not a weapon, he's motherf*cking Superman.
2
Teddy - A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
Teddy was built as a toy for young children, but his hesitations and Jiminy Cricket wisdom time and time again save the child robot David from demise. Plus, you just want to hug and squeeze him and never part until 2000 years in the future when evolved alien robots come and thaw you out of an ice block and give you one last memory to relive BECAUSE HE'S JUST SO DANG CUTE.
1
Chewbacca - Star Wars
If you're in the market of constantly pissing off intergalactic gangsters and Imperial generals, it's a good idea to pair yourself with a Wookie with a penchant for ripping the limbs off his opponents. Chewbacca loves to give hugs, but he'll as quickly let out a BRARARWAR attack if you cross him. He also knows his way around YT-1300f light freighter -- always helpful.
UGO
Not every loyal companion has to be a homo sapien.
25
Paul - Paul
Forget anal probing -- Paul doesn't have time to stick anything up your butt. He's too busy drinking, eating birds and smoking marijuana.
Graeme and Clive do most of the talking on their road trip across the American southwest, but Paul helps out where he can, whether its telepathically delivering the British tourists his vast knowledge, turning invisible and snooping around someone's home or throwing a kick ass party. He's talented and worldly. Better yet, universally.
24
Abu - Aladdin
If you're a thief in the ruthless city of Agrabah, it's helpful to have a small, versitile critter on your side. For Aladdin, it's Abu, and while he's known for getting a little sidetracked in his work (the furball loves his apples), he generally comes through at the end for his street rat companion. He also rocks a seriously hip monkey hat, which earns him double the cool points.
23
Draco - Dragonheart
Economic times are tough when a dragonslayer has to team up with the only living dragon left in the world.
Draco strikes a bargin with the knight Bowen to swindle villagers by staging fake battles. Draco swoops in for an attack, Bowen stages a kill, a little Shakespearean bravado and -- BAM -- moolah. Eventually they wise up and defend the rights of the people against the evil king, but if they kept at it, they could have made it all the way to Hollywood.
22
Donkey - Shrek
No man or ogre would last two seconds with the real life Eddie Murphy as their sidekick. He's loud, he's expeditious and he's constantly gunning for the top spot. If he doesn't get his way, he'll walk out.
But when he's a donkey, his insanity is filtered through the giant mouth of a four-hooved creature and he becomes the kind of friend you need to escape the most dangerous of dragon battles.
21
Wilson - Cast Away
Four years on an island will wreck a man, but Chuck Noland made the best of it by making his own company: a volleyball stamped with a handprint of blood. Wison smiles his way through thick and thin, makeshift dental surgery and shoddy escape rafts. An eternal optimist and really good at organized sports.
20
Fozzie Bear - The Muppet Movie
Wakka Wakka Wakka!
Kermit's struggling comedian cohort Fozzie may only land 10% of the jokes he tells, but at the end of the day he'll still board the bus with his head up and take the wheel. The show must go on, and it has too -- Fozzie always has a new joke.
19
Sam the Dog - I Am Legend
Neville is the only unafftected human left in Manhattan after a ravenous disease turned everyone into a blood thirsty, bald zombie, but luckily for his mental psyche, he still had his best friend by his side. Samantha the Dog also survived the outbreak and together, the duo set out to hunt the streets of NYC for test subjects and stray golf balls. It's unknown whether their relationship ever became something steamier.
18
Wicket - Return of the Jedi
Princess Leia got her own sidekick for the third (sixth?) installment of the Star Wars franchise, after crossing paths with the admittedly adorable Ewok, Wicket. Leia was accustomed to laser blasters and futursitic modes of transportation, but Wicket was her ambassador to low-fi technology.
The force is strong with a rock thrown by a three-foot tall teddy bear alien.
17
Samwise Gamgee - Lord of the Rings
Hobbits aren't people, but some people have extremely hairy feet. We can understand the confusion.
Sam is Frodo's dedicated keeper, a halfling who promised to protect the ring by pushing through to Mt. Doom under any cost. Sam didn't look like he was in great shape at the start of LOTR, which makes it surprising that Sam managed to climb mountains and evade Orc attacks, but hey, he lived. And got the short chick in the end.
16
Cris Johnson - District 9
The pacifist alien manages to not kill a single human being during the entire course of District 9, but he certainly alley-oops his partner in crime Wikus, arming him with alien tech to disintegrate anyone who stands in their way. Cris teams up with the evolving MNU member to get to the mothership and it leads to many a homo sapien blood splatter.
15
Mike - Monsters, INC.
Sully is the big monster in town, constantly raking in the most screams a day amongst Monsters, INC. employees. But every scare team needs its handyman sidekick, and that's where Mike comes in. Goofy rather than terrifying, Mike is the idea man behind Sully's award-winning scare tactics. He has an eye for that sort of thing.
14
Barf - Spaceballs
What is he? He's a mog; half man, half dog. What his evil parents were thinking naming him Barf is the confusing part.
Barf rides with Lonestar across the vast galaxies of space looking for space bucks and outrunning the nefarious Pizza the Hut. When he meets golden robot Dot, he finally realizes his purpose in the world: procreating with a heap of circuit boards and wires. Mogbot?
13
Toothless - How to Train Your Dragon
The "boy and his dog" genre is always touching and hard to screw up. The "boy and his dragon" genre? Even better.
Hiccup doesn't have any friends, but when he saves a Night Fury dragon from a Viking trap, he gains the best sidekick a budding warrior could ask for: a fire-breathing, flying monster. It's like discovering a BMW in your backyard and driving it to your friends house. You've officially become "the sh*t."
12
Sonny - I, Robot
First suspected by Del Spooner to be the world's first rogue robot, Sonny ends up making the perfect cybernetic sidekick when sh*t hits the fan and every other robot in the city goes after the detective. Sonny had an advantage -- he knew exactly how to rip a robots head striaght from its neck in a matter of seconds. A human would have to Google that.
11
Jarvis - Tron Legacy
Jarvis is more of Clu 2.0's lackey, but his faithfulness qualifies him for sidekick status. Hoping that one day his devotion to the angsty program will pay off in bits, Jarvis spreads the good word of his mighty boss by rousing crowds on the Game Grid. But he'll never be a real leader. Not with that hair piece.
10
Keenser - Star Trek
The saddest part of Scotty learning warp beaming too early was the premature abandonment of Keenser, the engineer's faithful sidekick. The pint-sized alien is a no nonsense assistant who keeps Scotty in line, even when a time traveling Vulcan shows up at their door to plant some new ideas. Let's pray Keenser is a new staple of J.J. Abrams' series.
9
Dobby - Harry Potter
Dobby was a passable, borderline annoying temporary sidekick for Harry Potter in The Chamber of Secrets, but the scrawny house elf went full on badass when he joined the boy wizard for the first half of his journey in Deathly Hallows. If you don't think you have a personal attachment to Dobby, it's time to rewatch that last scene..
8
Bumblebee - Transformers
The curious Autobot crossed paths with the great great great (more greants) grandson of the man who first discovered the map to the Allspark: Sam Witwicky. Sam and Bumblebee became inseparable, the shapeshifting alien becoming a servent and protector to Sam. He's one ride that will require little to no pimping.
7
Abe Sapien - Hellboy
A great sidekick doens't just take a bullet for you, or help rig a complicated trap to catch the bad guys. These things are important, but you also want a sidekick who can kick back, crack open a beer and spend a night telling drunken war stories.
Abe Sapien and Hellboy couldn't be more of polar opposites, but what they do have in common is being outcasts. Who fight crime. And are monsters. And they love beer.
OK, they're perfect for one another.
6
GERTY - Moon
For a moon base A.I., GERTY must feel pretty bad for his human partner Sam. He caters to his every whim, but in the end he knows that, eventually, Sam's going to be sent to his death...and a new Sam will emerge. But in the face of human rights, GERTY helps set Moon's current iteration of Sam clones free and stands up to any human sidekick in history.
5
Toto - The Wizard of OZ
Somewhere over the rainbow, Toto the tiny terrier pup pointed his snout down the yellow brick road and made sure Dorothy's clumsy ass didn't get lost on her way to the Emerald City. Thinkt he no-brains Scarecrow was remotely helpful? Toto's the reason she even made it back to Kansas!
4
Morph - Treasure Planet
When traveling space for the most legendary of treasures, it's helpful to have a sidekick that can fit in small places. Morph makes the perfect first mate aboard the solar galleon RMS Legacy, as he's just a spat of floating goo, able to change himself into any shape necessary for the job. Just don't wipe him up with Mr. Clean.
3
The Iron Giant - The Iron Giant
The home planet of the Iron Giant is unknown, but a late glimpse at the hidden technology underneath his metal exterior makes one think they may not be such a friendly bunch. When the Iron Giant landed on Earth, the enormous robot bumped his noggin, turning him into clueless creature, quickly shaped into a loving, caring hero by the young Hogarth. He's not a weapon, he's motherf*cking Superman.
2
Teddy - A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
Teddy was built as a toy for young children, but his hesitations and Jiminy Cricket wisdom time and time again save the child robot David from demise. Plus, you just want to hug and squeeze him and never part until 2000 years in the future when evolved alien robots come and thaw you out of an ice block and give you one last memory to relive BECAUSE HE'S JUST SO DANG CUTE.
1
Chewbacca - Star Wars
If you're in the market of constantly pissing off intergalactic gangsters and Imperial generals, it's a good idea to pair yourself with a Wookie with a penchant for ripping the limbs off his opponents. Chewbacca loves to give hugs, but he'll as quickly let out a BRARARWAR attack if you cross him. He also knows his way around YT-1300f light freighter -- always helpful.
UGO