Black Widow
01-08-2013, 02:24 AM
dNP6_scIPy0
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RAW Results - Jan 7th, 2013
Location - Tampa, Florida
Announcers - Jerry 'The King' Lawler, Michael Cole
Tonight is a very important night for World Wrestling Entertainment because the Rock will be returning to WWE television to prepare for his match against CM Punk, or whoever the WWE Champion is at the Royal Rumble.
This week, Raw is in Tampa, Florida and your announcers are Jerry ‘I wrestled outside this building’ Lawler and Michael ‘Smells like a circus’ Cole.
John Cena makes his way to the ring. While he gets in the ring, we see Dolph and AJ get showered with love by John Cena at the end of Raw.
John says that was a craptacular end to 2012, but it is a great way to start off 2013. There are some special folks in the crowd and this is a special night. There will be a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match with CM Punk defending his title against Ryback. Cena says that it feels like electricity. The most electrifying man in all of entertainment returns tonight. The Rock will be back.
Cena says that we are on the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is in three weeks. The winner of that match gets into the main event of Wrestlemania.
John is interrupted by Dolph Ziggler and he is joined by AJ Lee and Big E Langston. Dolph says that they might have come to see Cena or the Rock, but they will remember the hottest superstar in the WWE, Dolph Ziggler.
AJ wants to know if this is what makes him feel better and allows him to sleep at night. That joke last week wasn’t enough? What about lying to her and playing with her emotions? AJ says that she couldn’t believe that she chose to lose her job over Cena. She calls John a petty, pathetic, and small man. She calls him a very small man.
Cena says that AJ’s sweet little innocent self made her first sixth grade weiner joke.
Cena says that AJ can knock that off her bucket list. Cena wants a wave. Cena says that it is time for his weiner joke. He quotes Andrew Clay and starts the Nantucket limerick but Ziggler stops him.
Dolph says that Cena always laughs off a loss and hopes that it will go away. He is not going away. Dolph says that he is officially in the Royal Rumble. He tells John he cannot hide any more. His primary goal is to not let Cena win.
Cena says that he wishes everyone luck. He says that 2013 will be looking up and then he tells Dolph and AJ to look out and they think Cena might do something. Did they think he would drop poop on them again. Cena says that AJ is rubbing off on Dolph and Big E.
Cena says that he is done talking and he wants to fight Dolph Ziggler right now.
Langston tells Cena that Dolph is not his only problem. Langston says that it is on.
We go to commercial.
Match Number One: John Cena versus Dolph Ziggler (with Big E Langston and AJ Lee)
Cena with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. They lock up and Ziggler with a side head lock take down. Cena with a hip toss and arm drag into an arm bar. Ziggler with kicks and punches in the corner and the referee warns him. Ziggler with punches to the ribs.
Ziggler with an elbow to the top of the head and then he punches Cena in the corner. Ziggler with a kick and then he does sit ups. Cena with a rollup to take advantage of the situation. Cena with punches followed by an Irish whip and bulldog for a near fall.
Cena with a front face lock. Cena with a delayed vertical suplex and Cena gets a near fall. Ziggler with a kick to the chest and then kicks in the corner followed by a splash into the corner for a near fall. Ziggler punches Cena and then he hits a drop kick and gets a near fall.
Ziggler with a punch to Cena and he shuffles around the ring. Ziggler tries for a drop kick but Cena blocks it and he catapults Ziggler into the turnbuckles. Ziggler with an elbow and Langston punches Cena from the apron while the referee was distracted.
Ziggler gets a near fall and we go to commercial.
We are back and Ziggler with a reverse chin lock. Ziggler with a headstand while applying the chin lock and Ziggler with a bridge. Cena gets Ziggler on his back and Cena with a snap mare. Cena with a belly-to-belly suplex and both men are down. AJ gets on the apron and distracts the referee while Ziggler hits a drop kick and gets a near fall.
Ziggler with a series of elbow drops and he finishes with a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler chokes Cena in the ropes and while Ziggler talks to the referee, AJ gets on the apron and slaps Cena. The referee did get a chance to see it and the referee sends AJ and Langston to the back.
Ziggler argues with the referee and then he turns around and Cena with two flying shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb and then it is time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Ziggler with a kick followed by the Fameasser but Cena kicks out.
Ziggler misses a splash into the corner and Cena with another Blue Thunder Bomb. Cena with the Five Knuckle Shuffle and he gets Ziggler on his shoulders but Ziggler escapes and hits a Zig Zag but Cena kicks out.
Ziggler misses a superkick and Cena tries for the STF. Ziggler escapes and he hits a DDT and gets a near fall. Ziggler goes up top for a cross body but Cena catches Ziggler and rolls through to get Ziggler on his shoulders. Ziggler gets to his feet and hits a super kick and gets a near fall.
Ziggler punches Cena and the referee warns him. Cena with a punch to the midsection but Ziggler punches back. They go back and forth and Cena gets the advantage. Ziggler applies the sleeper. Cena gets a second wind and he gets Ziggler off his back but Ziggler hits the referee and the referee goes to the floor.
Cena with a drop toe hold and STF to Ziggler. Langston comes to the ring and he attacks Cena and hits the Big Ending. Langston puts Ziggler on top of Cena and there is no referee. We have a second referee but Cena is able to kick out. Cena with an Attitude Adjustment and he gets the three count.
Winner: John Cena
Match Number Two: Eve Torres versus Kaitlyn for the Divas Title
They lock up and Kaitlyn pushes Eve to the ropes. They lock up again and Eve with a side head lock and take down. Kaitlyn with a head scissors but Eve escapes. Eve works on the leg. Kaitlyn kicks Eve away and she punches Eve. The referee holds Kaitlyn back because Kaitlyn’s boot is untied.
Eve with a kick and she punches Kaitlyn. Eve kicks Kaitlyn in the corner. Eve chokes Kaitlyn in the corner. Eve with a cravate over the shoulder followed by a forearm to the back. Kaitlyn with a side slam. Kaitlyn with an inverted DDT for a near fall.
Kaitlyn with a kick and then she gets Eve on her shoulders but Eve escapes and goes to the floor. Kaitlyn sends Eve back into the ring but Eve gets back to the floor. Kaitlyn follows Eve to the floor and Eve goes into the crowd. The referee makes the ten count.
Winner: Kaitlyn (by count out)
We go to commercial.
We are back and remember that next week is the 20th anniversary episode of Raw.
Santino Marella is in the locker room saying that he enjoyed watching Ricky Steamboat wrestling Randy Savage at Wrestlemania III. Ricky says that was a great match. Santino points out that he was a former Intercontinental champion.
Wade interrupts Santino and Ricky and calls them a has been and a never was. Now the Intercontinental Title means something again. He says that Steamboat is an old man blowing smoke.
Ricky tells Santino that he has an idea. The dragon will be in Santino’s corner tonight. Barrett will find out how much smoke this old man can blow.
Matt Striker is with Randy Orton and he brings up the people whose names are in the Royal Rumble. Randy says that he is a former winner and he will win this year. There is only one Randy Orton.
The 3MB interrupt and they say that they are in the match. Heath says that they are going to rock and roll to history and main event Wrestlemania.
Randy wonders who will face him tonight.
Slater runs through the members of the band and Orton chooses the front man. He says that Slater won’t be playing the air guitar, he will be playing the harp.
Match Number Three: Kane and Daniel Bryan versus Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes
Kane and Cody start things off and Cody goes into the corner. Kane with an uppercut and he sends Cody into the turnbuckles. Kane with an uppercut to the mustache. Kane with an Irish whip but Cody with an elbow and he tags in Sandow. Kane with an uppercut to Damien. Kane with a snap mare and drop kick for a near fall.
Bryan tags in and Kane sends Bryan into the corner for a drop kick and Bryan gets a near fall. Bryan works on the arm and applies a hammer lock. Sandow with an elbow and he tags in Cody. Bryan with a drop toe hold and kick to the midsection. Bryan with more kicks to Cody. Bryan with a Northern Lights suplex for a near fall. Bryan with an uppercut and Irish whip but he runs into an elbow from Cody.
Cody puts Bryan on the ropes and kicks Daniel in the midsection. Sandow tags in and he kicks and chokes Bryan. Sandow with an elbow drop for a near fall. Cody tags back in and he punches Bryan and connects with a forearm to the back. Cody with a punch to the head and kicks.
Cody with more punches and he tags Sandow back in. Sandow with punches to Bryan and then he hits the side Russian leg sweep and it is time for the Elbow of Disdain and he connects and he tells everyone ‘You’re Welcome’. Sandow with a reverse chin lock. Sandow with a forearm to the back but Bryan with a leap frog and he tags in Kane.
Kane drops Sandow on the top rope and then he goes for the clothesline but Sandow stops him momentarily. Kane hits the clothesline and then he knocks Rhodes off the apron. Kane with a boot to Sandow for a near fall. Kane with an Irish whip and clothesline into the corner and a second one. Kane with the side slam and he gets a near fall.
Sandow sees Kane go for the choke slam and Sandow goes to the floor. Bryan with a running knee off the apron to Sandow and Bryan returns Sandow into the ring. Bryan with kicks to the midsection. Sandow with an Irish whip and Bryan flips over Sandow and he lands awkwardly.
Rhodes tags in and he puts Bryan’s leg in the ropes and he kicks the knee. The referee warns Cody and Sandow kicks Bryan in the leg. Kane with a punch to Sandow and then Rhodes with a baseball slide to Kane. Bryan with an inside cradle for a near fall. Cody with a kick to the knee and Cross Rhodes for the three count.
Winners: Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton walks through the back as we go to commercial.
Match Number Four: Randy Orton versus Heath Slater (with Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal)
Slater with a waist lock but Orton with a standing switch and shoulder tackle. Slater has a hip toss blocked and Orton with a short arm clothesline for a near fall. Orton punches Slater in the corner and Slater gets into the ropes. Slater attacks Orton while the referee deals with Randy. Slater with punches but Orton with a head butt and European uppercut.
Orton takes care of Drew and Jinder on the floor and Slater kicks Orton from the apron and then Drew and Jinder attack Orton on the floor. Slater sends Orton back into the ring and he gets a near fall. Slater with a reverse chin lock. Orton with elbows and a head butt. Orton tries for a slam but Slater escapes and he hits a neck breaker and gets a near fall.
Slater goes to the turnbuckles but Orton crotches Heath and then sets for a superplex and hits it. Orton with two clotheslines and he avoids one from Slater. Orton with a power slam. Orton fights off Mahal and McIntyre. Orton sends Slater to the apron for the IEDDT and then he looks around and twists to the mat to pound it before hitting the RKO and gets the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
After the match, Mahal and Drew attack Orton but Orton gives Mahal and McIntyre RKOs.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Five: Santino Marella (with Ricky Steamboat) versus Wade Barrett
Barrett misses a punch and Santino with a Steamboat-esque arm drag. Santino misses a second one and Barrett kicks and punches Santino. Barrett with a suplex and he gets a near fall. Barrett with a reverse chin lock. Barrett with a knee and he sets for a pump handle slam but Santino escapes and hits a super kick and gets a near fall.
Santino with punches and forearms followed by a split and hip toss. Santino for the diving head butt and then it is time to get the Cobra. Barrett goes to the apron on the cobra and Santino is dropped across the top rope. Barrett sets for the Bull Hammer and he connects and gets the three count.
Winner: Wade Barrett
After the match, Steamboat takes off his jacket after checking on Santino and Barrett leaves the ring.
Matt Striker is with Sheamus and he reminds Sheamus that he won the Royal Rumble and World Title last year. Matt asks Sheamus if he can do it again. Sheamus says that he couldn’t do it again. Sheamus says that he can win the Royal Rumble and World Title, but not in 18 seconds.
Sheamus sees 3MB and wants to know what is wrong with them. Sheamus says that Randy Orton kicked their arses.
Slater says that they got lucky.
Sheamus suggests that they go to the ring and sing a song. Sheamus says that whoever is still standing after a Brogue Kick can sing Danny Boy. Sheamus says that he will see him out there.
We see tables, ladders, and chairs in the building because there is a TLC match tonight.
We are back and Miz joins Cole and Lawler at the announce table.
Match Number Six: Antonio Cesaro (with American Flag) versus Great Khali (with Hornswoggle and Natalya)
Cesaro with punches to Khali but Khali with a clothesline to the top of the head. Khali sends Cesaro into the turnbuckles and then connects with an elbow and chop. Khali with another chop and then he clotheslines Cesaro over the top rope to the floor. Hornswoggle wants to interfere again but Cesaro gets up.
Khali brings Cesaro back into the ring and connects with a clothesline. Cesaro drops Khali on the top rope and then pulls Khali’s leg onto the top rope. Cesaro dives into the knee and then he kicks Khali in the hamstring. Cesaro works on the leg and he rubs his elbow on the knee.
Khali with a chop to Cesaro. Cesaro runs into a boot from Khali. Khali with clotheslines and he sets for the choke slam but Cesaro with kicks to the knee followed by a European uppercut and a springboard European uppercut. Cesaro with the Gotch Style Neutralizer on Khali and he gets the three count.
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
After the match, Cesaro holds the title over his head as he looks at Miz.
Paul Heyman is in the back and he is on the phone. Brad Maddox stops by and Paul reminds Brad what he said last week. He doesn’t want Brad in his life.
Brad wants to know who Paul thinks he is. Paul will not talk to him that way because he can be of service to Paul and Punk. Brad says that he has his referee’s shirt and he was going to suggest that Vickie put him in the match.
Paul does not want Brad talking to anyone and he tells Brad to slither under that rock he came out from and he tells Brad that if he ever pssssts him again, he won’t.
Match Number Seven: Sheamus versus Jinder Mahal (with Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre)
They lock up and Sheamus with a clean break and side head lock take down. Sheamus puts Jinder in the corner but Jinder with a kick and side head lock. Jinder with a shoulder tackle and he celebrats. Sheamus grabs Jinder by the face and applies a side head lock. Sheamus with a shoulder tackle and then he kicks Jinder in the rear end.
Jinder with a waist lock and Jinder gets offended by what Sheamus was doing to Jinder’s rear end. Jinder has a kick blocked and Sheamus with a slap. Jinder avoids a slap the second time his kick is blocked. Sheamus kicks Jinder and slaps him before sending Jinder to the floor. Sheamus with forearms across the chest.
So Drew does not feel left out, he gives Drew ten forearms across the chest. Slater stays away and Sheamus punches Jinder and kicks him. Heath grabs the leg and Jinder knocks Sheamus to the floor. Drew with a clothesline to Sheamus on the floor.
Mahal with kicks and a near fall. Mahal with a knee drop. Mahal with a neck breaker for a near fall. Sheamsu with two running double sledges and then he runs Mahal into the corner and hits the knee lift. Sheamus gets Jinder up for White Noise but he sees Slater in the ring. Sheamus pulls Slater into the ring and sends him into Mahal. Sheamus with a double clothesline to Mahal and Slater and they go over the top rope.
Sheamus sends Jinder back into the ring and he hits Drew with a Brogue Kick. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Slater from the apron. Sheamus with an elbow to escape a full nelson slam attempt and then Sheamus with White Noise. Sheamus makes his chest bleed to set for the Brogue Kick and he hits it and gets the three count.
Winner: Sheamus
We see a CM Punk video package and his ability to hold on to the title against Ryback.
The belt is above the ring and for some reason, the official cage lowering music of WWE is playing.
We are back and we take a look back at highlights from the John Cena versus Dolph Ziggler match.
Match Number Eight: Ryback versus CM Punk (with Paul Heyman) for the WWE Championship
They lock up and Ryback misses a punch and Punk with punches and kicks. Ryback with a forearm and shoulders in the corner. Ryback with an Irish whip to the sternum. Ryback kicks Punk and Punk rolls to the floor. Ryback follows after Punk as Punk gets a chair from under the ring. Punk hits Ryback in the back with the chair.
Ryback takes Punk down and punches him. Ryback grabs the chair and Punk tries to get away. Punk moves and Ryback hits the steps with the chair. Punk with a kick and a chair shot to the chest. Punk sends Ryback into the ringside barrier. Punk pulls out a ladder.
Ryback with a forearm to the back and he drapes Punk over the apron. Ryback points to the chair and ladder and he hits a suplex onto the ladder. Punk rolls to the floor and Heyman feels the pain as well. Ryback with a chop and forearm to the back. Ryback picks up the steps and he hits Punk in the shoulder with it and then he tosses the steps aside.
Ryback picks up the rest of the steps but Punk moves when Ryback tries to use them. Punk with a knee off the steps and both men are down. Punk uses the chair on Ryback’s ankle and then his back. We go to commercial.
We are back and Ryback with an Electric Chair Drop in the ring. A ladder is set up in the ring. Ryback sends Punk to the floor and he follows. Ryback slams Punk on the floor and then he looks under the ring for a table and gets it. Punk kicks a chair into Ryback’s knee. Punk sets up a table on the floor and then Ryback counters a hip toss and sends Punk across the announce table. Ryback hits Punk with the hood from the announce table.
Punk goes for the knee when they return to the ring. Punk stomps on the leg. Punk brings a chair into the ring and then he uses it on the calf. Punk hits Ryback in the ankle with the chair. Punk puts the chair on the ankle and Punk goes to the turnbuckles. Ryback moves and Punk appears to have reinjured his knee.
Ryback with a clothesline and he pushes Punk down and then hits a back body drop. Ryback with a spinebuster and then he hits the lariat and Ryback signals that it is over. Ryback with the marching muscle buster set up but Punk gets to the floor and then Ryback tries to spear Punk but Ryback goes through the table set up against the ringside barrier.
Punk returns to the ring and he sets up the ladder. Punk climbs the ladder but Ryback gets back into the ring. Ryback climbs the other side and they fight on the ladder. Ryback punches Punk off the ladder but Punk pushes the ladder over. Ryback press slams Punk onto the ladder and the ladder twists in a way that will not make it operable.
Ryback sets for a power slam but Punk with a round kick to the head. Punk tries to set up the ladder that Ryback mangled and then Punk with a running knee into the corner. Punk tries to fix the ladder but Punk with another knee into the corner but Ryback picks up Punk to counter the bulldog and Punk goes through a table on the floor.
Ryback switches ladders and he sets it up in the center of the ring. Ryback climbs the ladder and the lights go out. The Shield are on the ladder and Ryback knocks Rollins and Ambrose off. Reigns pulls Ryback off. Ryback sends Reigns, Rollins, and Ambrose over the top rope to the floor.
The Shield get a chair and they hit Ryback with it. They set for the three man power bomb through a table on the ring steps and hit it.
Punk gets back into the ring while Ryback tries to figure out where he is after that power bomb. Punk climbs the ladder and he sees Ryback on the steps. Punk grabs the belt and he wins the match.
Winner: CM Punk
We are back and Matt Striker wants to get some comments. Punk says that he had nothing to do with Brad Maddox and he doesn’t know the Shield. Punk says that he is going to go out and open his mouth before Rock can go out and entertain the Millions and Millions. It is time to drop a pipe bomb.
Kane asks Daniel Bryan how his knee is. Bryan blames Kane for losing to Cody and Damien. Kane and Daniel blame each other and they go back and forth with yes and no. Vickie interrupts and Kane and Daniel want to know why she is yelling.
Vickie says that she knew about Kane and Daniel’s issues. Next week will be their four month evaluations from Dr. Shelby. Kane calls Dr. Shelby a monster while Bryan calls him a nerd. Kane says that Shelby is a nerd. Bryan calls him a monster.
We see highlights from last week’s World Title Match during Champions’ Choice. On Friday night, Alberto will face Big Show.
Match Number Nine: Kofi Kingston versus Big Show
Kofi with kicks to Show and the referee pulls Kofi away from Show and Show with a punch and Kofi is out. Show gets the three count.
Winner: Big Show
We go back to the last time that Dwayne and Punk were in the ring together.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for a ‘Pre-Dwayne’ Pipe Bomb from CM Punk and he is accompanied by Paul Heyman and the WWE Title Belt.
Punk wipes some blood from his mouth onto his ‘Knees2Faces’ shirt.
Punk says that the time has come to tell everyone something personal. He keeps his ear to the ground and he hears everything that people have been saying. The words ‘pipe bomb’ have been misunderstood. No one understands what it means. A ‘pipe bomb’ in its truest form is the truth. It is honesty. It is what everyone lacks.
The perception of him is someone who is a little disgruntled and sat on a stage in Las Vegas and said pipe bomb. He became the voice of the voiceless and his ego might have gotten to be too much. Punk says that he turned his back on the people.
That is a lie. He tells people not to be mistaken. He meant everything he said . . . except ice cream because looking around the arena, the people don’t need ice cream. Punk says that he could have swallowed that bitter pill and accepted his position. He could have left the company. People think that he sold out. He says that people love to cheer for their superheroes.
The truth about Las Vegas and the WWE is that it does not matter if you are the best wrestler, talker, or make the two clowns sitting at ringside look bad . . . there is a glass ceiling. The more popular you are the more money you make. Punk says that is why John Cena, who had the worst year still got title matches. That is why Daniel Bryan puts a smile on his face and belittles himself. That is why Brodus Clay dirties his hands shucking and jiving with little kids. That is why Little Jimmy is better positioned on the flagship show than a workhorse like Tyson Kidd.
Punk says that everyone is falling for it. People cannot handle anything complicated or interesting. We are all here in the circus to entertain you. No one has been able to achieve a modicum of success without the people until he came around.
Punk says that he has become the most successful champion of all time, not just the modern era. Someone is probably getting ready to put it on a t-shirt. Punk says that he would have been champion for 20 or 30 years if he had to wrestle once a month. You never saw a Hulk Hogan wrestle a TLC match against Ryback. Punk says that he wrestles physically demanding match every week. His one year equals thirty years.
Punk says that he is successful not because of you, it is in spite of you.
Punk says that everyone has the same story that they do it for the people and then they do the cheap pop. Punk says that he watched Roddy Piper smash a coconut over Jimmy Snuka’s head and he never said that he was going to electrify the people of Tampa because he does not care.
Punk says that he is a bad guy. Ric Flair will come out and cry out his 182 year eyes out and say he did it for his fans. Shawn Michaels can lose and find his smile and then say that his entire career was done for the people. Edge can have his career ended and say that he misses doing it for the fans. Punk says that they are either weak or dishonest.
Punk says that he is the best in the world.
Punk says that there are two type of people. Those born to be in the spotlight and those born to pay to see the people in the spotlight.
He says that they were born to pay to see champions like him. Punk says that he has never done any of this for the people. There are superstars and there are nobodies. He is a superstar and everyone else is a nobody. If those people are your friends, why aren’t they giving you some of the millions and millions of dollars.
Punk says that he is being told to wrap it up and go to commercial break.
Punk says that you go to break when the champ wants to go to break. He tells everyone to listen up because the Rock is going to talk a whole lot. The most important thing you are going to hear is that you do not matter. What they want does not matter . . .
We go to commercial.
We are back and CM Punk is still in the ring and he says that he will be on the first Raw of 2014 still your WWE Champion. What fuels him is your constant disappointment in your self appointed superheroes and their inability to win the title.
Punk says that he will not let the Rock tear down everything that he attained. When he defeated Alberto Del Rio in Madison Square Garden in 2011, he beat the system. It did not matter who he defeated to keep the title, he was not beating just them, he was beating everyone. For 414 days, he has been beating them. He has stomped them out under his oppressive boot.
He does not care if the Rock is back, they do not get to win because they are losers.
Rock’s music interrupts CM Punk and he appears on the stage. He makes his way to the ring and he poses.
Rock circles Punk and he tells Punk that he had to hear it all. He wanted to wait until Punk was finished what he had to say so he could know what type of guy he is going to face at the Royal Rumble. He says that Punk is straight up delusional. He mentions 414 days as champion. That is incredible. The real number that haunts his dreams is 20. It is 20 excuses running around his mind. 20 hairs standing up on his Straight Edge Scrotum because in 20 days he will be defending his title against the Rock. They all know that in 20 days, Time’s Up.
Punk says that he wanted a revolution and that he rejected the people. Rock says that the people rejected Punk. He talks about change and revolution and he could not do it. He promised ice cream bars for everybody and Punk couldn’t do it. He says that Punk couldn’t deliver ice cream if Carvel, Dairy Queen, and Cookie Puss drove an ice cream truck up his ass.
Rock tells Punk to listen to the voices. He comes in and claims to be the voice of the voiceless but that is a bunch of hot garbage. There is no voiceless. They have voices and they love to use their voices.
They know something special is about to happen. They are going to use their voice to chant the loudest chant they ever heard. It will be something to follow Punk his entire life. They will chant what Punk is. They will chant ‘Cookie Puss’.
Punk tells them to be the puppets they are because Rock got the people to chant for ice cream the same way he did.
Punk says that the people and Rock don’t get to win.
Rock says that they have already won. That is something that Punk fails to realize. They won when the Rock woke up at 4:00 a.m. when he sent out his tweet. Then he went to the gym and ate his breakfast. He drove up I-75 and across Alligator Alley to say FINALLY . . . THE ROCK HAS COME BACK . . . TO TAMPA.
It isn’t just that the Rock is back, it is why he is back. 1) to entertain the fans; 2) to stop Punk; and 3) after ten long years, he is back to win the title. He has watched the show with Punk deceiving, back pedaling and lying.
Rock says that he would say to tell Punk to demand respect so he will shut up. Rock says that he wants to know if Punk has seen a doctor because he looks like Popeye on Crack.
He tells Punk that he has one of the most creative and innovative minds in the WWE but he failed to use it. He became the champion and the biggest jerk we have ever seen. He tells The Rock never to say that the people don’t matter. The people matter and they always matter. It is CM Punk who does not matter.
Punk says that he matters . . .
Rock says that it doesn’t matter if he matters. He tells Punk to get it in his head that there is no way that he will stop the Rock from becoming WWE Champion.
They circle each other and Punk puts the title belt on the mat between them.
Punk says that he is glad that Rock is back. He doesn’t care if he works 16 or 365 days a year. He will kick Rock’s ass. He doesn’t care how many movies Rock does. Every time Rock comes back, he will kick his ass. It is not Candy Land.
You can make fun of his t-shirt, you can talk about pie and rhyme and do his lame ass shtick. In three weeks, he will kick Rock’s ass because he is the best in the world. He tells Rock that he graduated from the kiddy table but he has moved to the major leagues. Punk says that he is swinging for the fences because everything that Rock is doing is kiddy games. When Rock stands in the ring, his arms are too short to box with God.
Rock tells Punk that he may think that the Rock is boxing with God. He knows for a fact that Punk is going one-on-one with The Great One. Not for one single second, he doesn’t know how bad and tough Punk is.
Rock remembers that Punk hit him with a GTS. He hurt and embarrassed the Rock. In twenty days, time’s up.
He tells Punk to go home and think about the next twenty days. He wants Punk to look in the mirror and strip naked. He tells Punk to look at his backside and try to find a small space not covered in ugly tattoos. He wants two more tattoos. On his left butt cheek, he wants Punk to get a big M&M. He tells Punk that he can’t put an Almond Joy on his butt because unlike Punk, they have nuts.
He tells Punk to get a tattoo of Rock’s size fifteen boot on the right cheek to remember how bad he will kick Punk’s candy ass at Royal Rumble.
Rock gives Punk a Rock Bottom and Punk goes to the floor. Rock holds the title belt and then throws it to Punk on the floor.
We go to credits.
Join us for RAWs Live Coverage! No lines! No fuss!
Please feel free to discuss RAW here. No need to wait for updates!
RAW Results - Jan 7th, 2013
Location - Tampa, Florida
Announcers - Jerry 'The King' Lawler, Michael Cole
Tonight is a very important night for World Wrestling Entertainment because the Rock will be returning to WWE television to prepare for his match against CM Punk, or whoever the WWE Champion is at the Royal Rumble.
This week, Raw is in Tampa, Florida and your announcers are Jerry ‘I wrestled outside this building’ Lawler and Michael ‘Smells like a circus’ Cole.
John Cena makes his way to the ring. While he gets in the ring, we see Dolph and AJ get showered with love by John Cena at the end of Raw.
John says that was a craptacular end to 2012, but it is a great way to start off 2013. There are some special folks in the crowd and this is a special night. There will be a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match with CM Punk defending his title against Ryback. Cena says that it feels like electricity. The most electrifying man in all of entertainment returns tonight. The Rock will be back.
Cena says that we are on the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is in three weeks. The winner of that match gets into the main event of Wrestlemania.
John is interrupted by Dolph Ziggler and he is joined by AJ Lee and Big E Langston. Dolph says that they might have come to see Cena or the Rock, but they will remember the hottest superstar in the WWE, Dolph Ziggler.
AJ wants to know if this is what makes him feel better and allows him to sleep at night. That joke last week wasn’t enough? What about lying to her and playing with her emotions? AJ says that she couldn’t believe that she chose to lose her job over Cena. She calls John a petty, pathetic, and small man. She calls him a very small man.
Cena says that AJ’s sweet little innocent self made her first sixth grade weiner joke.
Cena says that AJ can knock that off her bucket list. Cena wants a wave. Cena says that it is time for his weiner joke. He quotes Andrew Clay and starts the Nantucket limerick but Ziggler stops him.
Dolph says that Cena always laughs off a loss and hopes that it will go away. He is not going away. Dolph says that he is officially in the Royal Rumble. He tells John he cannot hide any more. His primary goal is to not let Cena win.
Cena says that he wishes everyone luck. He says that 2013 will be looking up and then he tells Dolph and AJ to look out and they think Cena might do something. Did they think he would drop poop on them again. Cena says that AJ is rubbing off on Dolph and Big E.
Cena says that he is done talking and he wants to fight Dolph Ziggler right now.
Langston tells Cena that Dolph is not his only problem. Langston says that it is on.
We go to commercial.
Match Number One: John Cena versus Dolph Ziggler (with Big E Langston and AJ Lee)
Cena with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. They lock up and Ziggler with a side head lock take down. Cena with a hip toss and arm drag into an arm bar. Ziggler with kicks and punches in the corner and the referee warns him. Ziggler with punches to the ribs.
Ziggler with an elbow to the top of the head and then he punches Cena in the corner. Ziggler with a kick and then he does sit ups. Cena with a rollup to take advantage of the situation. Cena with punches followed by an Irish whip and bulldog for a near fall.
Cena with a front face lock. Cena with a delayed vertical suplex and Cena gets a near fall. Ziggler with a kick to the chest and then kicks in the corner followed by a splash into the corner for a near fall. Ziggler punches Cena and then he hits a drop kick and gets a near fall.
Ziggler with a punch to Cena and he shuffles around the ring. Ziggler tries for a drop kick but Cena blocks it and he catapults Ziggler into the turnbuckles. Ziggler with an elbow and Langston punches Cena from the apron while the referee was distracted.
Ziggler gets a near fall and we go to commercial.
We are back and Ziggler with a reverse chin lock. Ziggler with a headstand while applying the chin lock and Ziggler with a bridge. Cena gets Ziggler on his back and Cena with a snap mare. Cena with a belly-to-belly suplex and both men are down. AJ gets on the apron and distracts the referee while Ziggler hits a drop kick and gets a near fall.
Ziggler with a series of elbow drops and he finishes with a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler chokes Cena in the ropes and while Ziggler talks to the referee, AJ gets on the apron and slaps Cena. The referee did get a chance to see it and the referee sends AJ and Langston to the back.
Ziggler argues with the referee and then he turns around and Cena with two flying shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb and then it is time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Ziggler with a kick followed by the Fameasser but Cena kicks out.
Ziggler misses a splash into the corner and Cena with another Blue Thunder Bomb. Cena with the Five Knuckle Shuffle and he gets Ziggler on his shoulders but Ziggler escapes and hits a Zig Zag but Cena kicks out.
Ziggler misses a superkick and Cena tries for the STF. Ziggler escapes and he hits a DDT and gets a near fall. Ziggler goes up top for a cross body but Cena catches Ziggler and rolls through to get Ziggler on his shoulders. Ziggler gets to his feet and hits a super kick and gets a near fall.
Ziggler punches Cena and the referee warns him. Cena with a punch to the midsection but Ziggler punches back. They go back and forth and Cena gets the advantage. Ziggler applies the sleeper. Cena gets a second wind and he gets Ziggler off his back but Ziggler hits the referee and the referee goes to the floor.
Cena with a drop toe hold and STF to Ziggler. Langston comes to the ring and he attacks Cena and hits the Big Ending. Langston puts Ziggler on top of Cena and there is no referee. We have a second referee but Cena is able to kick out. Cena with an Attitude Adjustment and he gets the three count.
Winner: John Cena
Match Number Two: Eve Torres versus Kaitlyn for the Divas Title
They lock up and Kaitlyn pushes Eve to the ropes. They lock up again and Eve with a side head lock and take down. Kaitlyn with a head scissors but Eve escapes. Eve works on the leg. Kaitlyn kicks Eve away and she punches Eve. The referee holds Kaitlyn back because Kaitlyn’s boot is untied.
Eve with a kick and she punches Kaitlyn. Eve kicks Kaitlyn in the corner. Eve chokes Kaitlyn in the corner. Eve with a cravate over the shoulder followed by a forearm to the back. Kaitlyn with a side slam. Kaitlyn with an inverted DDT for a near fall.
Kaitlyn with a kick and then she gets Eve on her shoulders but Eve escapes and goes to the floor. Kaitlyn sends Eve back into the ring but Eve gets back to the floor. Kaitlyn follows Eve to the floor and Eve goes into the crowd. The referee makes the ten count.
Winner: Kaitlyn (by count out)
We go to commercial.
We are back and remember that next week is the 20th anniversary episode of Raw.
Santino Marella is in the locker room saying that he enjoyed watching Ricky Steamboat wrestling Randy Savage at Wrestlemania III. Ricky says that was a great match. Santino points out that he was a former Intercontinental champion.
Wade interrupts Santino and Ricky and calls them a has been and a never was. Now the Intercontinental Title means something again. He says that Steamboat is an old man blowing smoke.
Ricky tells Santino that he has an idea. The dragon will be in Santino’s corner tonight. Barrett will find out how much smoke this old man can blow.
Matt Striker is with Randy Orton and he brings up the people whose names are in the Royal Rumble. Randy says that he is a former winner and he will win this year. There is only one Randy Orton.
The 3MB interrupt and they say that they are in the match. Heath says that they are going to rock and roll to history and main event Wrestlemania.
Randy wonders who will face him tonight.
Slater runs through the members of the band and Orton chooses the front man. He says that Slater won’t be playing the air guitar, he will be playing the harp.
Match Number Three: Kane and Daniel Bryan versus Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes
Kane and Cody start things off and Cody goes into the corner. Kane with an uppercut and he sends Cody into the turnbuckles. Kane with an uppercut to the mustache. Kane with an Irish whip but Cody with an elbow and he tags in Sandow. Kane with an uppercut to Damien. Kane with a snap mare and drop kick for a near fall.
Bryan tags in and Kane sends Bryan into the corner for a drop kick and Bryan gets a near fall. Bryan works on the arm and applies a hammer lock. Sandow with an elbow and he tags in Cody. Bryan with a drop toe hold and kick to the midsection. Bryan with more kicks to Cody. Bryan with a Northern Lights suplex for a near fall. Bryan with an uppercut and Irish whip but he runs into an elbow from Cody.
Cody puts Bryan on the ropes and kicks Daniel in the midsection. Sandow tags in and he kicks and chokes Bryan. Sandow with an elbow drop for a near fall. Cody tags back in and he punches Bryan and connects with a forearm to the back. Cody with a punch to the head and kicks.
Cody with more punches and he tags Sandow back in. Sandow with punches to Bryan and then he hits the side Russian leg sweep and it is time for the Elbow of Disdain and he connects and he tells everyone ‘You’re Welcome’. Sandow with a reverse chin lock. Sandow with a forearm to the back but Bryan with a leap frog and he tags in Kane.
Kane drops Sandow on the top rope and then he goes for the clothesline but Sandow stops him momentarily. Kane hits the clothesline and then he knocks Rhodes off the apron. Kane with a boot to Sandow for a near fall. Kane with an Irish whip and clothesline into the corner and a second one. Kane with the side slam and he gets a near fall.
Sandow sees Kane go for the choke slam and Sandow goes to the floor. Bryan with a running knee off the apron to Sandow and Bryan returns Sandow into the ring. Bryan with kicks to the midsection. Sandow with an Irish whip and Bryan flips over Sandow and he lands awkwardly.
Rhodes tags in and he puts Bryan’s leg in the ropes and he kicks the knee. The referee warns Cody and Sandow kicks Bryan in the leg. Kane with a punch to Sandow and then Rhodes with a baseball slide to Kane. Bryan with an inside cradle for a near fall. Cody with a kick to the knee and Cross Rhodes for the three count.
Winners: Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton walks through the back as we go to commercial.
Match Number Four: Randy Orton versus Heath Slater (with Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal)
Slater with a waist lock but Orton with a standing switch and shoulder tackle. Slater has a hip toss blocked and Orton with a short arm clothesline for a near fall. Orton punches Slater in the corner and Slater gets into the ropes. Slater attacks Orton while the referee deals with Randy. Slater with punches but Orton with a head butt and European uppercut.
Orton takes care of Drew and Jinder on the floor and Slater kicks Orton from the apron and then Drew and Jinder attack Orton on the floor. Slater sends Orton back into the ring and he gets a near fall. Slater with a reverse chin lock. Orton with elbows and a head butt. Orton tries for a slam but Slater escapes and he hits a neck breaker and gets a near fall.
Slater goes to the turnbuckles but Orton crotches Heath and then sets for a superplex and hits it. Orton with two clotheslines and he avoids one from Slater. Orton with a power slam. Orton fights off Mahal and McIntyre. Orton sends Slater to the apron for the IEDDT and then he looks around and twists to the mat to pound it before hitting the RKO and gets the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
After the match, Mahal and Drew attack Orton but Orton gives Mahal and McIntyre RKOs.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Five: Santino Marella (with Ricky Steamboat) versus Wade Barrett
Barrett misses a punch and Santino with a Steamboat-esque arm drag. Santino misses a second one and Barrett kicks and punches Santino. Barrett with a suplex and he gets a near fall. Barrett with a reverse chin lock. Barrett with a knee and he sets for a pump handle slam but Santino escapes and hits a super kick and gets a near fall.
Santino with punches and forearms followed by a split and hip toss. Santino for the diving head butt and then it is time to get the Cobra. Barrett goes to the apron on the cobra and Santino is dropped across the top rope. Barrett sets for the Bull Hammer and he connects and gets the three count.
Winner: Wade Barrett
After the match, Steamboat takes off his jacket after checking on Santino and Barrett leaves the ring.
Matt Striker is with Sheamus and he reminds Sheamus that he won the Royal Rumble and World Title last year. Matt asks Sheamus if he can do it again. Sheamus says that he couldn’t do it again. Sheamus says that he can win the Royal Rumble and World Title, but not in 18 seconds.
Sheamus sees 3MB and wants to know what is wrong with them. Sheamus says that Randy Orton kicked their arses.
Slater says that they got lucky.
Sheamus suggests that they go to the ring and sing a song. Sheamus says that whoever is still standing after a Brogue Kick can sing Danny Boy. Sheamus says that he will see him out there.
We see tables, ladders, and chairs in the building because there is a TLC match tonight.
We are back and Miz joins Cole and Lawler at the announce table.
Match Number Six: Antonio Cesaro (with American Flag) versus Great Khali (with Hornswoggle and Natalya)
Cesaro with punches to Khali but Khali with a clothesline to the top of the head. Khali sends Cesaro into the turnbuckles and then connects with an elbow and chop. Khali with another chop and then he clotheslines Cesaro over the top rope to the floor. Hornswoggle wants to interfere again but Cesaro gets up.
Khali brings Cesaro back into the ring and connects with a clothesline. Cesaro drops Khali on the top rope and then pulls Khali’s leg onto the top rope. Cesaro dives into the knee and then he kicks Khali in the hamstring. Cesaro works on the leg and he rubs his elbow on the knee.
Khali with a chop to Cesaro. Cesaro runs into a boot from Khali. Khali with clotheslines and he sets for the choke slam but Cesaro with kicks to the knee followed by a European uppercut and a springboard European uppercut. Cesaro with the Gotch Style Neutralizer on Khali and he gets the three count.
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
After the match, Cesaro holds the title over his head as he looks at Miz.
Paul Heyman is in the back and he is on the phone. Brad Maddox stops by and Paul reminds Brad what he said last week. He doesn’t want Brad in his life.
Brad wants to know who Paul thinks he is. Paul will not talk to him that way because he can be of service to Paul and Punk. Brad says that he has his referee’s shirt and he was going to suggest that Vickie put him in the match.
Paul does not want Brad talking to anyone and he tells Brad to slither under that rock he came out from and he tells Brad that if he ever pssssts him again, he won’t.
Match Number Seven: Sheamus versus Jinder Mahal (with Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre)
They lock up and Sheamus with a clean break and side head lock take down. Sheamus puts Jinder in the corner but Jinder with a kick and side head lock. Jinder with a shoulder tackle and he celebrats. Sheamus grabs Jinder by the face and applies a side head lock. Sheamus with a shoulder tackle and then he kicks Jinder in the rear end.
Jinder with a waist lock and Jinder gets offended by what Sheamus was doing to Jinder’s rear end. Jinder has a kick blocked and Sheamus with a slap. Jinder avoids a slap the second time his kick is blocked. Sheamus kicks Jinder and slaps him before sending Jinder to the floor. Sheamus with forearms across the chest.
So Drew does not feel left out, he gives Drew ten forearms across the chest. Slater stays away and Sheamus punches Jinder and kicks him. Heath grabs the leg and Jinder knocks Sheamus to the floor. Drew with a clothesline to Sheamus on the floor.
Mahal with kicks and a near fall. Mahal with a knee drop. Mahal with a neck breaker for a near fall. Sheamsu with two running double sledges and then he runs Mahal into the corner and hits the knee lift. Sheamus gets Jinder up for White Noise but he sees Slater in the ring. Sheamus pulls Slater into the ring and sends him into Mahal. Sheamus with a double clothesline to Mahal and Slater and they go over the top rope.
Sheamus sends Jinder back into the ring and he hits Drew with a Brogue Kick. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Slater from the apron. Sheamus with an elbow to escape a full nelson slam attempt and then Sheamus with White Noise. Sheamus makes his chest bleed to set for the Brogue Kick and he hits it and gets the three count.
Winner: Sheamus
We see a CM Punk video package and his ability to hold on to the title against Ryback.
The belt is above the ring and for some reason, the official cage lowering music of WWE is playing.
We are back and we take a look back at highlights from the John Cena versus Dolph Ziggler match.
Match Number Eight: Ryback versus CM Punk (with Paul Heyman) for the WWE Championship
They lock up and Ryback misses a punch and Punk with punches and kicks. Ryback with a forearm and shoulders in the corner. Ryback with an Irish whip to the sternum. Ryback kicks Punk and Punk rolls to the floor. Ryback follows after Punk as Punk gets a chair from under the ring. Punk hits Ryback in the back with the chair.
Ryback takes Punk down and punches him. Ryback grabs the chair and Punk tries to get away. Punk moves and Ryback hits the steps with the chair. Punk with a kick and a chair shot to the chest. Punk sends Ryback into the ringside barrier. Punk pulls out a ladder.
Ryback with a forearm to the back and he drapes Punk over the apron. Ryback points to the chair and ladder and he hits a suplex onto the ladder. Punk rolls to the floor and Heyman feels the pain as well. Ryback with a chop and forearm to the back. Ryback picks up the steps and he hits Punk in the shoulder with it and then he tosses the steps aside.
Ryback picks up the rest of the steps but Punk moves when Ryback tries to use them. Punk with a knee off the steps and both men are down. Punk uses the chair on Ryback’s ankle and then his back. We go to commercial.
We are back and Ryback with an Electric Chair Drop in the ring. A ladder is set up in the ring. Ryback sends Punk to the floor and he follows. Ryback slams Punk on the floor and then he looks under the ring for a table and gets it. Punk kicks a chair into Ryback’s knee. Punk sets up a table on the floor and then Ryback counters a hip toss and sends Punk across the announce table. Ryback hits Punk with the hood from the announce table.
Punk goes for the knee when they return to the ring. Punk stomps on the leg. Punk brings a chair into the ring and then he uses it on the calf. Punk hits Ryback in the ankle with the chair. Punk puts the chair on the ankle and Punk goes to the turnbuckles. Ryback moves and Punk appears to have reinjured his knee.
Ryback with a clothesline and he pushes Punk down and then hits a back body drop. Ryback with a spinebuster and then he hits the lariat and Ryback signals that it is over. Ryback with the marching muscle buster set up but Punk gets to the floor and then Ryback tries to spear Punk but Ryback goes through the table set up against the ringside barrier.
Punk returns to the ring and he sets up the ladder. Punk climbs the ladder but Ryback gets back into the ring. Ryback climbs the other side and they fight on the ladder. Ryback punches Punk off the ladder but Punk pushes the ladder over. Ryback press slams Punk onto the ladder and the ladder twists in a way that will not make it operable.
Ryback sets for a power slam but Punk with a round kick to the head. Punk tries to set up the ladder that Ryback mangled and then Punk with a running knee into the corner. Punk tries to fix the ladder but Punk with another knee into the corner but Ryback picks up Punk to counter the bulldog and Punk goes through a table on the floor.
Ryback switches ladders and he sets it up in the center of the ring. Ryback climbs the ladder and the lights go out. The Shield are on the ladder and Ryback knocks Rollins and Ambrose off. Reigns pulls Ryback off. Ryback sends Reigns, Rollins, and Ambrose over the top rope to the floor.
The Shield get a chair and they hit Ryback with it. They set for the three man power bomb through a table on the ring steps and hit it.
Punk gets back into the ring while Ryback tries to figure out where he is after that power bomb. Punk climbs the ladder and he sees Ryback on the steps. Punk grabs the belt and he wins the match.
Winner: CM Punk
We are back and Matt Striker wants to get some comments. Punk says that he had nothing to do with Brad Maddox and he doesn’t know the Shield. Punk says that he is going to go out and open his mouth before Rock can go out and entertain the Millions and Millions. It is time to drop a pipe bomb.
Kane asks Daniel Bryan how his knee is. Bryan blames Kane for losing to Cody and Damien. Kane and Daniel blame each other and they go back and forth with yes and no. Vickie interrupts and Kane and Daniel want to know why she is yelling.
Vickie says that she knew about Kane and Daniel’s issues. Next week will be their four month evaluations from Dr. Shelby. Kane calls Dr. Shelby a monster while Bryan calls him a nerd. Kane says that Shelby is a nerd. Bryan calls him a monster.
We see highlights from last week’s World Title Match during Champions’ Choice. On Friday night, Alberto will face Big Show.
Match Number Nine: Kofi Kingston versus Big Show
Kofi with kicks to Show and the referee pulls Kofi away from Show and Show with a punch and Kofi is out. Show gets the three count.
Winner: Big Show
We go back to the last time that Dwayne and Punk were in the ring together.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for a ‘Pre-Dwayne’ Pipe Bomb from CM Punk and he is accompanied by Paul Heyman and the WWE Title Belt.
Punk wipes some blood from his mouth onto his ‘Knees2Faces’ shirt.
Punk says that the time has come to tell everyone something personal. He keeps his ear to the ground and he hears everything that people have been saying. The words ‘pipe bomb’ have been misunderstood. No one understands what it means. A ‘pipe bomb’ in its truest form is the truth. It is honesty. It is what everyone lacks.
The perception of him is someone who is a little disgruntled and sat on a stage in Las Vegas and said pipe bomb. He became the voice of the voiceless and his ego might have gotten to be too much. Punk says that he turned his back on the people.
That is a lie. He tells people not to be mistaken. He meant everything he said . . . except ice cream because looking around the arena, the people don’t need ice cream. Punk says that he could have swallowed that bitter pill and accepted his position. He could have left the company. People think that he sold out. He says that people love to cheer for their superheroes.
The truth about Las Vegas and the WWE is that it does not matter if you are the best wrestler, talker, or make the two clowns sitting at ringside look bad . . . there is a glass ceiling. The more popular you are the more money you make. Punk says that is why John Cena, who had the worst year still got title matches. That is why Daniel Bryan puts a smile on his face and belittles himself. That is why Brodus Clay dirties his hands shucking and jiving with little kids. That is why Little Jimmy is better positioned on the flagship show than a workhorse like Tyson Kidd.
Punk says that everyone is falling for it. People cannot handle anything complicated or interesting. We are all here in the circus to entertain you. No one has been able to achieve a modicum of success without the people until he came around.
Punk says that he has become the most successful champion of all time, not just the modern era. Someone is probably getting ready to put it on a t-shirt. Punk says that he would have been champion for 20 or 30 years if he had to wrestle once a month. You never saw a Hulk Hogan wrestle a TLC match against Ryback. Punk says that he wrestles physically demanding match every week. His one year equals thirty years.
Punk says that he is successful not because of you, it is in spite of you.
Punk says that everyone has the same story that they do it for the people and then they do the cheap pop. Punk says that he watched Roddy Piper smash a coconut over Jimmy Snuka’s head and he never said that he was going to electrify the people of Tampa because he does not care.
Punk says that he is a bad guy. Ric Flair will come out and cry out his 182 year eyes out and say he did it for his fans. Shawn Michaels can lose and find his smile and then say that his entire career was done for the people. Edge can have his career ended and say that he misses doing it for the fans. Punk says that they are either weak or dishonest.
Punk says that he is the best in the world.
Punk says that there are two type of people. Those born to be in the spotlight and those born to pay to see the people in the spotlight.
He says that they were born to pay to see champions like him. Punk says that he has never done any of this for the people. There are superstars and there are nobodies. He is a superstar and everyone else is a nobody. If those people are your friends, why aren’t they giving you some of the millions and millions of dollars.
Punk says that he is being told to wrap it up and go to commercial break.
Punk says that you go to break when the champ wants to go to break. He tells everyone to listen up because the Rock is going to talk a whole lot. The most important thing you are going to hear is that you do not matter. What they want does not matter . . .
We go to commercial.
We are back and CM Punk is still in the ring and he says that he will be on the first Raw of 2014 still your WWE Champion. What fuels him is your constant disappointment in your self appointed superheroes and their inability to win the title.
Punk says that he will not let the Rock tear down everything that he attained. When he defeated Alberto Del Rio in Madison Square Garden in 2011, he beat the system. It did not matter who he defeated to keep the title, he was not beating just them, he was beating everyone. For 414 days, he has been beating them. He has stomped them out under his oppressive boot.
He does not care if the Rock is back, they do not get to win because they are losers.
Rock’s music interrupts CM Punk and he appears on the stage. He makes his way to the ring and he poses.
Rock circles Punk and he tells Punk that he had to hear it all. He wanted to wait until Punk was finished what he had to say so he could know what type of guy he is going to face at the Royal Rumble. He says that Punk is straight up delusional. He mentions 414 days as champion. That is incredible. The real number that haunts his dreams is 20. It is 20 excuses running around his mind. 20 hairs standing up on his Straight Edge Scrotum because in 20 days he will be defending his title against the Rock. They all know that in 20 days, Time’s Up.
Punk says that he wanted a revolution and that he rejected the people. Rock says that the people rejected Punk. He talks about change and revolution and he could not do it. He promised ice cream bars for everybody and Punk couldn’t do it. He says that Punk couldn’t deliver ice cream if Carvel, Dairy Queen, and Cookie Puss drove an ice cream truck up his ass.
Rock tells Punk to listen to the voices. He comes in and claims to be the voice of the voiceless but that is a bunch of hot garbage. There is no voiceless. They have voices and they love to use their voices.
They know something special is about to happen. They are going to use their voice to chant the loudest chant they ever heard. It will be something to follow Punk his entire life. They will chant what Punk is. They will chant ‘Cookie Puss’.
Punk tells them to be the puppets they are because Rock got the people to chant for ice cream the same way he did.
Punk says that the people and Rock don’t get to win.
Rock says that they have already won. That is something that Punk fails to realize. They won when the Rock woke up at 4:00 a.m. when he sent out his tweet. Then he went to the gym and ate his breakfast. He drove up I-75 and across Alligator Alley to say FINALLY . . . THE ROCK HAS COME BACK . . . TO TAMPA.
It isn’t just that the Rock is back, it is why he is back. 1) to entertain the fans; 2) to stop Punk; and 3) after ten long years, he is back to win the title. He has watched the show with Punk deceiving, back pedaling and lying.
Rock says that he would say to tell Punk to demand respect so he will shut up. Rock says that he wants to know if Punk has seen a doctor because he looks like Popeye on Crack.
He tells Punk that he has one of the most creative and innovative minds in the WWE but he failed to use it. He became the champion and the biggest jerk we have ever seen. He tells The Rock never to say that the people don’t matter. The people matter and they always matter. It is CM Punk who does not matter.
Punk says that he matters . . .
Rock says that it doesn’t matter if he matters. He tells Punk to get it in his head that there is no way that he will stop the Rock from becoming WWE Champion.
They circle each other and Punk puts the title belt on the mat between them.
Punk says that he is glad that Rock is back. He doesn’t care if he works 16 or 365 days a year. He will kick Rock’s ass. He doesn’t care how many movies Rock does. Every time Rock comes back, he will kick his ass. It is not Candy Land.
You can make fun of his t-shirt, you can talk about pie and rhyme and do his lame ass shtick. In three weeks, he will kick Rock’s ass because he is the best in the world. He tells Rock that he graduated from the kiddy table but he has moved to the major leagues. Punk says that he is swinging for the fences because everything that Rock is doing is kiddy games. When Rock stands in the ring, his arms are too short to box with God.
Rock tells Punk that he may think that the Rock is boxing with God. He knows for a fact that Punk is going one-on-one with The Great One. Not for one single second, he doesn’t know how bad and tough Punk is.
Rock remembers that Punk hit him with a GTS. He hurt and embarrassed the Rock. In twenty days, time’s up.
He tells Punk to go home and think about the next twenty days. He wants Punk to look in the mirror and strip naked. He tells Punk to look at his backside and try to find a small space not covered in ugly tattoos. He wants two more tattoos. On his left butt cheek, he wants Punk to get a big M&M. He tells Punk that he can’t put an Almond Joy on his butt because unlike Punk, they have nuts.
He tells Punk to get a tattoo of Rock’s size fifteen boot on the right cheek to remember how bad he will kick Punk’s candy ass at Royal Rumble.
Rock gives Punk a Rock Bottom and Punk goes to the floor. Rock holds the title belt and then throws it to Punk on the floor.
We go to credits.