LG
06-30-2013, 05:36 PM
7/11 Impact (And you’re going to want to DVR this one)
1) A.J. Styles & Samoa Joe beat Jeff Hardy & Joseph Park at 4:48 in a Joker’s Wild tag match to advance to the Gauntlet. Upon hearing Joe drawn as one of his opponents, Park sold his unhappiness with an EPIC facial expression that had everyone who saw it laughing hysterically. Again, everyone shoehorned in as much greatness as they could into the limited time they were allotted. Despite their long history, Styles and Joe worked well as a team. Park tapped to Joe’s coquina clutch. Joe was way over with alternate chants of “Joe is gonna kill you” and – from my CWF friends of course – “Joe is gonna eat you.”
2) Magnus & Mr. Anderson beat Hernandez & Jay Bradley at 3:55 in a Joker’s Wild tag match to advance to the Gauntlet. As starcrossed partners from opposing factions, Magnus and Anderson didn’t get along. Anderson kept short-arming him and wouldn’t tag in so Magnus wrestled solo but won with a schoolboy anyway.
A&8 came out for another promo. You know, Steve Austin is one of the greatest performers ever and his contributions to the business are immeasurable. I hope he has a very long and prosperous life full of friends, family and happiness. Then I hope a bunch of drunk idiots crash his funeral and yell “WHAT?” every time someone tries to say something. Bully Ray called out the Main Event Mafia as “FIVE guys in cheap suits” so the backstage stuff will establish that tonight the MEM introduce their newest, fifth member. Bully acknowledged that the MEM challenged them to a fight “next week in Louisville” but they declined.
During the break, JB brought fans up to speed by announcing that the MEM would introduce their fifth member tonight, and the newest member “Has never before competed in a TNA ring.” That actually did not assuage my fear that it would turn out to be Kevin Nash.
3) Kazarian & Bobby Roode beat Christopher Daniels & Austin Aries at 6:20 in a Joker’s Wild tag match to advance to the Gauntlet. Great match. Of course, the story was everybody having to fight their regular tag team partner. Daniels set up Roode for the BME, but Aries impatiently tagged himself in, causing Daniels to throw a fit. Daniels protected Kazarian at first by tagging himself in when Aries was in control. But when Kazarian later hit a MAGNIFICENT slingshot DDT on Aries, Daniels broke up the pin. Daniels and Kazarian argued, then moments later, Kazarian small-packaged Daniels for the pin. Kazarian and Daniels argued and teased a split, but Daniels relented and raised Kazarian’s hand. If you haven’t seen Christopher Daniels live, you might as well go back in time and abort yourself, for you haven’t really lived.
Mickie James’ music started, then stopped abruptly. Val started cheerleading the crowd for a minute, and Mickie’s music played again, but she never came back out. Not sure if this was a screw up or if it will be explained on TV.
4) Gail Kim beat Taryn Terrell in a ladder match to become #1 contender to the Knockouts Title at 11:36. Excellent match, billed as the first-ever Knockouts ladder match. You can’t really compare it to their last-Knockout-standing match from Slammiversary because they were so different, but in a very good way. Early on, one of Taryn’s hair extensions fell off her head. I can only assume that’s her version of Jerry Lawler pulling the strap down. Another hair extension defected, which referee ODB put in her pocket. The thing hung halfway out of ODB’s pocket throughout the match, which amused me. Gail went for the figure-four-around-the-post, but Taryn kicked her off. Gail made a “THUD” just as loud as Manic, but she was up in time to thwart Taryn’s climb, so not only is Gail Kim the greatest woman wrestler in North American history, she’s also tougher than a guy with a skull mask. Many great, innovative spots, including Gail hooking the figure-four on Taryn THROUGH THE LADDER and Taryn not selling it a minute later (which was the only negative to the match). The first ladder remained standing throughout the match (which might be a first), and a second ladder was added as a platform between the first ladder and the ropes. At one point when both women were down, fans loudly chanted “ODB,” as she was still over from the first match. ODB even slyly looked up at the contract as if she was contemplating making a grab for it herself. ODB is a phenomenal performer who can interact with a crowd perfectly. They did a nice shove-off-the-attempted-cutter spot. Taryn climbed and was about to snag the contract, but she saw Gail was headed for her, so she hit a beautiful flying bodypress off the ladder. Taryn grabbed Gail in a move I called a “half-naked choke.” Fans chanted “This is awesome” and “TNA” for the match. Clever finish saw Gail grab Taryn’s hair and tie it to the second rope in a knot. Gail climbed quickly and retrieved the contract for the win. Massive pop for the match. Taryn had accidentally untangled herself too quickly, but still sold enough so that Gail’s win looked good. Just like how Shawn Michaels accidentally untangled his leg at WrestleMania 10, then recovered by trapping his own arm! Fans even gave Taryn a standing ovation as ODB helped her to the back (except for one rude guy in a wheelchair). Seriously, this was spectacular. I can’t say enough about Gail and Taryn. They’re having the feud of the year and carving out some great history not just for women’s wrestling, but wrestling in general. A must-see PPV-quality match.
5) Magnus pinned Roode to win the six-man Gauntlet at 15:02, earning him 25 points in the BFGS. Decent match, but nothing could follow Gail vs. Taryn. Styles and Magnus were out first, followed by Kazarian, then Joe. Kazarian was the first one eliminated at 5:22. That briefly left it two-on-one with the MEM guys against Styles. Questionable booking to have two guys from a babyface faction double-team a tweener. It didn’t last long enough to be really stupid, though. They had the two-minute clock on the tron so fans could do the Dick Clark countdown, but suspiciously the clock vanished after Joe came out, then reappeared with 14 seconds before the next entrant (Anderson). The timing probably got a little screwed up, warranting a fix. Roode was the final entrant, which is usually Gauntlet/Royal Rumble code for “this is the guy who the winner will defeat to win.” At one point, Styles saved Anderson from elimination. I’m guessing the commentary plays up the ambiguity, as Taz suggests Styles was helping A&8, while Tenay claims Styles was just acting his own best interests to prevent another two-on-one. Joe was supposed to clothesline Anderson over the top rope to the apron so they could tease an elimination, but Anderson botched it, so they went to another side of the ring and got it right the second time. Styles was eliminated at 10:00. The emo kid always gets bullied. Joe eliminated both himself and Anderson with a Cactus clothesline at 10:59. They might sell that Joe sacrificed himself to take out the lone member of A&8 but I tend to overthink these things. They’ll probably just awkwardly plug Bellator. That left Magnus and Roode in the finals. Very good back-and-forth from two guys who really know their stuff. Roode slapped on a Crippler crossface, which was just uncomfortable to watch, even six years after the Benoit tragedy. Screw the piledriver, the industry ought to ban THAT move. Finish saw Roode catch a reverse rollup, but Magnus hooked Roode’s shoulders with his feet and rolled them into the pin. Again, nice enough match, but Gail and Taryn had already stolen the show and nobody was going to top them. So Magnus won 25 points in the BFGS which may or may not turn out to possibly mean something as the series unfolds maybe. At the very least, a big win like this makes it look like Sting and Angle chose wisely when they picked Magnus for the MEM.
During the Gauntlet, some drunk guys were harassing Val, so JB came to her defense and told them to knock it off. In all seriousness, it was very cool to see. Well done, JB.
The show’s not over yet, but they slipped in another Xplosion match before the last angle.
B) Chavo Guerrero Jr. cleanly pinned Las Vegas’ Own Kenny King at 7:29. There were more signs for King than any other wrestler all night, as fans remembered him from his FSW days. HUGE pop for King’s entrance, and Chavo got a nice pop himself. Fans loved everything King did and cheered/chanted accordingly. Chavo hit the three amigos, earning a respectful chant of “Eddie.” Even after all the years and various angles, you can tell Chavo is genuinely pleased that the fans fondly remember his uncle. Anyway, Chavo hit the frog splash and pinned King clean. Fans were shocked and angry. Not “Aw, darn, our guy lost” angry, but rather “Are you f**king kidding me??” angry. It was like someone let the air out of the entire room. People ENJOYED booing Howe, but this just pissed them off. So not only will the one TNA wrestler billed from Las Vegas not be on either Impact from Las Vegas, he did a clean job on an internet show that most people don’t even know is still a thing. I can only assume King is seriously in the doghouse for some reason considering he lost the XD Title twice (he was the one pinned by Ariescide last Thursday), now this. The match itself was good, but the finish was the equivalent of recognizing one of your parents in a porno. (Speaking of which, no Brooke Hogan appearance all night, just in case anyone was wondering.)
Final segment for Impact. Hogan came out to loud cheers again. Hogan acknowledged the fans’ ovation by saying “I might just slam a giant tonight.” I yelled “BROOKE?” which popped those around me. Hogan brought out Sabin and put him over for regaining the XD Title. Hogan again explained the cash-in option (which they called “Option C” instead of “Option X” for some reason). Sabin was about to cash in the XD Title, but A&8 interrupted. Bully entered the ring while the others stood at ringside. Bully did his standard great heel promo warning Sabin not to cash in. Sabin came back with the best promo of his career mocking Bully’s “Do you know who I am?” Sabin said clearly Bully forgot who he was talking to. Sabin pointed out that he pinned Bully in Team 3D’s retirement match, and that he was “the only one to ever kick out of the 3D finish.” (Both references to Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns from Turning Point 2010.) Fans did the “OH SNAP” pop and completely got behind Sabin. Bully warned Sabin one last time not to cash in, but Sabin stared Bully down and dramatically handed the XD belt to Hogan, officially cashing in his title shot for Destination X. Big pop for a very effective angle. This is going to come off great on TV. The Mens’ Wearhouse Mafia showed up one last time and Sting promised that the Bully-Sabin match would be “one-on-one” as the MEM would keep A&8 in check. That same promise didn’t work out so great for Manic tonight, but what the hell, it still sounds good. Sting then introduced their “heavy hitter,” the newest MEMber: Rampage Jackson. Rampage wasn’t wearing a suit, just his normal street clothes and normal street big-a** chain. Bully sold the surprise like a boss. Hogan and Sabin smirked. Tenay was screaming his head off at ringside as a producer counted him down to zero. End of show.
*
After Impact ended, all the wrestlers cleared out except for Hogan, Sabin, and Bully, who remained in the ring. Kind of weird that the biker gang would abandon their leader, even for a dark angle. Anyway, Bully vowed to end Hogan here and now. Hogan punched Bully. Bully sold by staggering into an enziguri from Sabin. Bully bailed out, Hogan and Sabin left to cheers, and JB thanked his favorite best-looking crowd, vowing that Impact would return to Las Vegas.
Upon leaving the arena, Jimmy Jay was at the merchandise stand, where they were selling the “Brown Bag” deal for $40. It’s only $25 online. Schmucks! I high-fived Jimmy Jay to cross it off my bucket list and called it a night.
Overall good show. Gail vs. Taryn was one of the best live matches I’ve ever seen. Kazarian & Roode vs. Daniels & Aries was a strong second-best-of-the-night. Every match but the XD three-way, the Knockouts, and the Gauntlet was way too rushed. Though on the plus side, they kept things moving well and it sure didn’t FEEL like we were sitting through two Impact tapings, plus Xplosion. Which apparently is still a thing. I once sat through a Superstars/Prime Time/Coliseum Video taping at the Thomas & Mack Center two days after WrestleMania 7 and the thing dragged for at least five hours. And it felt like ten. That said, it was somewhat disappointing that the heavily-advertised Sting, Kurt Angle, Bully Ray, and Mickie James all appeared, but didn’t wrestle. Still though, we definitely got our money’s worth and tonight was a big win for the company, the fans, and anyone not named Kenny King.
PWInsider
1) A.J. Styles & Samoa Joe beat Jeff Hardy & Joseph Park at 4:48 in a Joker’s Wild tag match to advance to the Gauntlet. Upon hearing Joe drawn as one of his opponents, Park sold his unhappiness with an EPIC facial expression that had everyone who saw it laughing hysterically. Again, everyone shoehorned in as much greatness as they could into the limited time they were allotted. Despite their long history, Styles and Joe worked well as a team. Park tapped to Joe’s coquina clutch. Joe was way over with alternate chants of “Joe is gonna kill you” and – from my CWF friends of course – “Joe is gonna eat you.”
2) Magnus & Mr. Anderson beat Hernandez & Jay Bradley at 3:55 in a Joker’s Wild tag match to advance to the Gauntlet. As starcrossed partners from opposing factions, Magnus and Anderson didn’t get along. Anderson kept short-arming him and wouldn’t tag in so Magnus wrestled solo but won with a schoolboy anyway.
A&8 came out for another promo. You know, Steve Austin is one of the greatest performers ever and his contributions to the business are immeasurable. I hope he has a very long and prosperous life full of friends, family and happiness. Then I hope a bunch of drunk idiots crash his funeral and yell “WHAT?” every time someone tries to say something. Bully Ray called out the Main Event Mafia as “FIVE guys in cheap suits” so the backstage stuff will establish that tonight the MEM introduce their newest, fifth member. Bully acknowledged that the MEM challenged them to a fight “next week in Louisville” but they declined.
During the break, JB brought fans up to speed by announcing that the MEM would introduce their fifth member tonight, and the newest member “Has never before competed in a TNA ring.” That actually did not assuage my fear that it would turn out to be Kevin Nash.
3) Kazarian & Bobby Roode beat Christopher Daniels & Austin Aries at 6:20 in a Joker’s Wild tag match to advance to the Gauntlet. Great match. Of course, the story was everybody having to fight their regular tag team partner. Daniels set up Roode for the BME, but Aries impatiently tagged himself in, causing Daniels to throw a fit. Daniels protected Kazarian at first by tagging himself in when Aries was in control. But when Kazarian later hit a MAGNIFICENT slingshot DDT on Aries, Daniels broke up the pin. Daniels and Kazarian argued, then moments later, Kazarian small-packaged Daniels for the pin. Kazarian and Daniels argued and teased a split, but Daniels relented and raised Kazarian’s hand. If you haven’t seen Christopher Daniels live, you might as well go back in time and abort yourself, for you haven’t really lived.
Mickie James’ music started, then stopped abruptly. Val started cheerleading the crowd for a minute, and Mickie’s music played again, but she never came back out. Not sure if this was a screw up or if it will be explained on TV.
4) Gail Kim beat Taryn Terrell in a ladder match to become #1 contender to the Knockouts Title at 11:36. Excellent match, billed as the first-ever Knockouts ladder match. You can’t really compare it to their last-Knockout-standing match from Slammiversary because they were so different, but in a very good way. Early on, one of Taryn’s hair extensions fell off her head. I can only assume that’s her version of Jerry Lawler pulling the strap down. Another hair extension defected, which referee ODB put in her pocket. The thing hung halfway out of ODB’s pocket throughout the match, which amused me. Gail went for the figure-four-around-the-post, but Taryn kicked her off. Gail made a “THUD” just as loud as Manic, but she was up in time to thwart Taryn’s climb, so not only is Gail Kim the greatest woman wrestler in North American history, she’s also tougher than a guy with a skull mask. Many great, innovative spots, including Gail hooking the figure-four on Taryn THROUGH THE LADDER and Taryn not selling it a minute later (which was the only negative to the match). The first ladder remained standing throughout the match (which might be a first), and a second ladder was added as a platform between the first ladder and the ropes. At one point when both women were down, fans loudly chanted “ODB,” as she was still over from the first match. ODB even slyly looked up at the contract as if she was contemplating making a grab for it herself. ODB is a phenomenal performer who can interact with a crowd perfectly. They did a nice shove-off-the-attempted-cutter spot. Taryn climbed and was about to snag the contract, but she saw Gail was headed for her, so she hit a beautiful flying bodypress off the ladder. Taryn grabbed Gail in a move I called a “half-naked choke.” Fans chanted “This is awesome” and “TNA” for the match. Clever finish saw Gail grab Taryn’s hair and tie it to the second rope in a knot. Gail climbed quickly and retrieved the contract for the win. Massive pop for the match. Taryn had accidentally untangled herself too quickly, but still sold enough so that Gail’s win looked good. Just like how Shawn Michaels accidentally untangled his leg at WrestleMania 10, then recovered by trapping his own arm! Fans even gave Taryn a standing ovation as ODB helped her to the back (except for one rude guy in a wheelchair). Seriously, this was spectacular. I can’t say enough about Gail and Taryn. They’re having the feud of the year and carving out some great history not just for women’s wrestling, but wrestling in general. A must-see PPV-quality match.
5) Magnus pinned Roode to win the six-man Gauntlet at 15:02, earning him 25 points in the BFGS. Decent match, but nothing could follow Gail vs. Taryn. Styles and Magnus were out first, followed by Kazarian, then Joe. Kazarian was the first one eliminated at 5:22. That briefly left it two-on-one with the MEM guys against Styles. Questionable booking to have two guys from a babyface faction double-team a tweener. It didn’t last long enough to be really stupid, though. They had the two-minute clock on the tron so fans could do the Dick Clark countdown, but suspiciously the clock vanished after Joe came out, then reappeared with 14 seconds before the next entrant (Anderson). The timing probably got a little screwed up, warranting a fix. Roode was the final entrant, which is usually Gauntlet/Royal Rumble code for “this is the guy who the winner will defeat to win.” At one point, Styles saved Anderson from elimination. I’m guessing the commentary plays up the ambiguity, as Taz suggests Styles was helping A&8, while Tenay claims Styles was just acting his own best interests to prevent another two-on-one. Joe was supposed to clothesline Anderson over the top rope to the apron so they could tease an elimination, but Anderson botched it, so they went to another side of the ring and got it right the second time. Styles was eliminated at 10:00. The emo kid always gets bullied. Joe eliminated both himself and Anderson with a Cactus clothesline at 10:59. They might sell that Joe sacrificed himself to take out the lone member of A&8 but I tend to overthink these things. They’ll probably just awkwardly plug Bellator. That left Magnus and Roode in the finals. Very good back-and-forth from two guys who really know their stuff. Roode slapped on a Crippler crossface, which was just uncomfortable to watch, even six years after the Benoit tragedy. Screw the piledriver, the industry ought to ban THAT move. Finish saw Roode catch a reverse rollup, but Magnus hooked Roode’s shoulders with his feet and rolled them into the pin. Again, nice enough match, but Gail and Taryn had already stolen the show and nobody was going to top them. So Magnus won 25 points in the BFGS which may or may not turn out to possibly mean something as the series unfolds maybe. At the very least, a big win like this makes it look like Sting and Angle chose wisely when they picked Magnus for the MEM.
During the Gauntlet, some drunk guys were harassing Val, so JB came to her defense and told them to knock it off. In all seriousness, it was very cool to see. Well done, JB.
The show’s not over yet, but they slipped in another Xplosion match before the last angle.
B) Chavo Guerrero Jr. cleanly pinned Las Vegas’ Own Kenny King at 7:29. There were more signs for King than any other wrestler all night, as fans remembered him from his FSW days. HUGE pop for King’s entrance, and Chavo got a nice pop himself. Fans loved everything King did and cheered/chanted accordingly. Chavo hit the three amigos, earning a respectful chant of “Eddie.” Even after all the years and various angles, you can tell Chavo is genuinely pleased that the fans fondly remember his uncle. Anyway, Chavo hit the frog splash and pinned King clean. Fans were shocked and angry. Not “Aw, darn, our guy lost” angry, but rather “Are you f**king kidding me??” angry. It was like someone let the air out of the entire room. People ENJOYED booing Howe, but this just pissed them off. So not only will the one TNA wrestler billed from Las Vegas not be on either Impact from Las Vegas, he did a clean job on an internet show that most people don’t even know is still a thing. I can only assume King is seriously in the doghouse for some reason considering he lost the XD Title twice (he was the one pinned by Ariescide last Thursday), now this. The match itself was good, but the finish was the equivalent of recognizing one of your parents in a porno. (Speaking of which, no Brooke Hogan appearance all night, just in case anyone was wondering.)
Final segment for Impact. Hogan came out to loud cheers again. Hogan acknowledged the fans’ ovation by saying “I might just slam a giant tonight.” I yelled “BROOKE?” which popped those around me. Hogan brought out Sabin and put him over for regaining the XD Title. Hogan again explained the cash-in option (which they called “Option C” instead of “Option X” for some reason). Sabin was about to cash in the XD Title, but A&8 interrupted. Bully entered the ring while the others stood at ringside. Bully did his standard great heel promo warning Sabin not to cash in. Sabin came back with the best promo of his career mocking Bully’s “Do you know who I am?” Sabin said clearly Bully forgot who he was talking to. Sabin pointed out that he pinned Bully in Team 3D’s retirement match, and that he was “the only one to ever kick out of the 3D finish.” (Both references to Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns from Turning Point 2010.) Fans did the “OH SNAP” pop and completely got behind Sabin. Bully warned Sabin one last time not to cash in, but Sabin stared Bully down and dramatically handed the XD belt to Hogan, officially cashing in his title shot for Destination X. Big pop for a very effective angle. This is going to come off great on TV. The Mens’ Wearhouse Mafia showed up one last time and Sting promised that the Bully-Sabin match would be “one-on-one” as the MEM would keep A&8 in check. That same promise didn’t work out so great for Manic tonight, but what the hell, it still sounds good. Sting then introduced their “heavy hitter,” the newest MEMber: Rampage Jackson. Rampage wasn’t wearing a suit, just his normal street clothes and normal street big-a** chain. Bully sold the surprise like a boss. Hogan and Sabin smirked. Tenay was screaming his head off at ringside as a producer counted him down to zero. End of show.
*
After Impact ended, all the wrestlers cleared out except for Hogan, Sabin, and Bully, who remained in the ring. Kind of weird that the biker gang would abandon their leader, even for a dark angle. Anyway, Bully vowed to end Hogan here and now. Hogan punched Bully. Bully sold by staggering into an enziguri from Sabin. Bully bailed out, Hogan and Sabin left to cheers, and JB thanked his favorite best-looking crowd, vowing that Impact would return to Las Vegas.
Upon leaving the arena, Jimmy Jay was at the merchandise stand, where they were selling the “Brown Bag” deal for $40. It’s only $25 online. Schmucks! I high-fived Jimmy Jay to cross it off my bucket list and called it a night.
Overall good show. Gail vs. Taryn was one of the best live matches I’ve ever seen. Kazarian & Roode vs. Daniels & Aries was a strong second-best-of-the-night. Every match but the XD three-way, the Knockouts, and the Gauntlet was way too rushed. Though on the plus side, they kept things moving well and it sure didn’t FEEL like we were sitting through two Impact tapings, plus Xplosion. Which apparently is still a thing. I once sat through a Superstars/Prime Time/Coliseum Video taping at the Thomas & Mack Center two days after WrestleMania 7 and the thing dragged for at least five hours. And it felt like ten. That said, it was somewhat disappointing that the heavily-advertised Sting, Kurt Angle, Bully Ray, and Mickie James all appeared, but didn’t wrestle. Still though, we definitely got our money’s worth and tonight was a big win for the company, the fans, and anyone not named Kenny King.
PWInsider