creatureofthenights
04-21-2006, 05:58 AM
CREDIT:MY DAD
ONE DAY PRESIDENT BUSH AND HIS FELLOW DEMOCRATIC MEMBERS WERE IN A AIRPLANE.BUSH WANTED TO MAKE HIS PEOPLE HAPPY SO HETOLD HIS FRIENDS THAT HES GOING TO THROW A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL OUT THE WINDOW TO MAKE ONE PERSON HAPPY.AFTER A COUPLE OFSECOUNDS BUSH CHANGES HIS MIND AND TELL HIS FRIENDS HE SHOLD THROW TWO 50 DOLLAR BILLS OUT THE WINDOW TO MAKE TWO PEOPLE HAPPY.A COUPLE SECOUNDS LATER HE CHANGES HIS MIND AND TELLLS HIS FRIENDS HE WHANTS TO THROW 5 20 DOLLAR BILLS TO MAKE 5 PEOPLE HAPPY.AFTER HE SAYS THAT THE PILOT TELLS BUSH"MAY I MAKE A SUGGESTION WHY NOT THROW YOURSELF OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE THE WHOLE COUNTRY HAPPY"
credit funnyville
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.
"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"
cresit funnyville
3 People in an Airplane
Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then the last person took a bite out of a gernade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came down and killed my new kitty".
Next they passed a little boy who was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy, why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came down and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!!"
ONE DAY PRESIDENT BUSH AND HIS FELLOW DEMOCRATIC MEMBERS WERE IN A AIRPLANE.BUSH WANTED TO MAKE HIS PEOPLE HAPPY SO HETOLD HIS FRIENDS THAT HES GOING TO THROW A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL OUT THE WINDOW TO MAKE ONE PERSON HAPPY.AFTER A COUPLE OFSECOUNDS BUSH CHANGES HIS MIND AND TELL HIS FRIENDS HE SHOLD THROW TWO 50 DOLLAR BILLS OUT THE WINDOW TO MAKE TWO PEOPLE HAPPY.A COUPLE SECOUNDS LATER HE CHANGES HIS MIND AND TELLLS HIS FRIENDS HE WHANTS TO THROW 5 20 DOLLAR BILLS TO MAKE 5 PEOPLE HAPPY.AFTER HE SAYS THAT THE PILOT TELLS BUSH"MAY I MAKE A SUGGESTION WHY NOT THROW YOURSELF OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE THE WHOLE COUNTRY HAPPY"
credit funnyville
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.
"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"
cresit funnyville
3 People in an Airplane
Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then the last person took a bite out of a gernade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came down and killed my new kitty".
Next they passed a little boy who was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy, why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came down and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!!"