RAW Results - 6th Aug, 2007

RAW Results - 6th Aug, 2007
Location - Buffalo, New York
Announcers - J.R. and Jerry 'The King' Lawler


We start off tonight’s show with footage from earlier tonight when Mr. McMahon entered the building. Jonathan Coachman stops Mr. McMahon and he says that he is glad to see Mr. McMahon. Mr. McMahon says that he wants everyone in the ring when they go live. Coach asks Mr. McMahon why and Mr. McMahon says that since he is an American citizen, he is going to exercise his freedom of expression.


All of the wrestlers in the building come to the ring and then There is NO CHANCE as Mr. McMahon comes through the TitanTron. Mr. McMahon says that he has a lot to say tonight. He won’t mince any words. He says that they should begin where they last left off. The last time that he was officially on Raw, he was blown to smithereens. We go to footage from two months ago when the McLimo exploded at the end of that episode of Raw. Mr. McMahon says that is the way he wants to go out, in a blaze of glory. Mr. McMahon says that he needed to know if everyone really cared, and that was why he staged his own demise. He says that many people don’t think that way of him. Mr. McMahon says that he sometimes needs positive confirmation from people. He says that he was beloved by everyone in Buffalo, in the ring, and all over the world. He says that everyone thinks of him as a pioneer, a fierce competitor, an icon, and a soothsayer. Mr. McMahon says that he has a lot of topics to talk about. Among the topics is the United States Congress, the hypocrisy of the news media, certain members of his immediate family. First, he wants to address everyone in the squared circle. Jonathan Coachman comes through the TitanTron, and Mr. McMahon points out that he is late. Mr. McMahon says that they are going to have a good old Battle Royale and the winner will become the new General Manager of Raw. Coach is a bit shocked at Mr. McMahon’s comments.


Match Number One: Battle Royal to determine the New Raw General Manager

We see a number of quick eliminations as Paul London, Super Crazy, JTG, and Robbie are gone from the match. Before the bell rang, the Divas head to the back. King Booker is eliminated by Sandman and Lawler laughs at the elimination. Ken Kennedy goes after Shelton Benjamin while Shad is eliminated. Haas and Benjamin work on Ken Kennedy. Daivari attacks Cody Rhodes but Rhodes gets Daivari to the apron. Val Venis tries to eliminate Carlito but Daivari makes the save. Umaga chokes Lance Cade. Benjamin and Daivari try to send Venis over the top rope to the floor but he is saved by Jim Duggan.

We go to commercial.

We are back and the match continues. Umaga misses a charge into the corner and Brian Kendrick punches Umaga and everyone else joins in as they attack Umaga, except for Carlito and Ken Kennedy. Kennedy fights off everyone to assist Umaga. Umaga eliminates Rory and then Umaga punches Cade. Kendrick holds on to the ropes as they attempt to eliminate him. Cade is eliminated by Val Venis. Venis is sent to the apron and Umaga punches Venis off the apron to eliminate him. Kendrick and Carlito try to eliminate Benjamin but Umaga pulls Kendrick off. Umaga grabs Kendrick but Duggan stops Umaga. Umaga and Kendrick are eliminated at the same time. Duggan eliminates Ken Kennedy. Umaga gives Kendrick the Samoan Spike on the ramp. We are down to four as Jim Duggan is eliminated by Carlito and Benjamin. The final four men are Carlito, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin, and Sandman.

Rhodes hits a flying back elbow on Carlito. Benjamin with a knee to Rhodes followed by a back body drop. Sandman punches Carlito in the corner and Benjamin drops Rhodes on the top rope. Rhodes is sent to the apron while Benjamin punches Sandman. Rhodes rolls back into the ring. Carlito staggers Sandman with a punch to the head. Rhodes punches Benjamin while Carlito connects with a boot to Sandman. Rhodes punches Benjamin against the ropes but Benjamin with a boot to Rhodes. Sandman hits a suplex on Carlito. Carlito hits a drop kick on Sandman. Benjamin slams Rhodes’s head into the turnbuckles. Rhodes with punches to Benjamin followed by a flying double axe handle. Benjamin sends Rhodes over the top but he skins the cat and stays in the match. Benjamin with a kick to the head and then Carlito eliminates Rhodes. Sandman is on the apron and then he goes up top. Carlito punches Sandman and then Carlito tries for a superplex but Sandman punches Carlito off. Benjamin runs across the ring and jumps to the top turnbuckle to hit a superplex on Sandman. All three men are down but Carlito is the first to his feet. Carlito sends Benjamin to the apron but he brings Carlito to the apron. Carlito and Benjamin battle on the apron and Sandman knocks them both off. Sandman appears to have won the match but William Regal comes from behind and attacks Sandman and throws Sandman over the top rope to eliminate him.


Winner: William Regal New General Manager


After the match, William Regal celebrates in the ring and he has the referee raise his hand one more time. We see a replay of William Regal being helped to the floor when he appeared to injure his leg. Then we see footage of Regal eliminating Sandman to win the General Manager position.

We go to commercial.


We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of the finish of the Battle Royale that was won by William Regal and Regal became the new Raw General Manager.

We go to the McOffice and Coach is not happy with William Regal being the general manager because he is foreigner. Mr. McMahon says that he is holding two letters from different committees wanting to investigate the WWE. Mr. McMahon suggests that Barney Fife could do a better job. Mr. McMahon talks about President Benjamin Franklin standing up after signing the Declaration of Independence and Coach tells Mr. McMahon that Benjamin Franklin was on the one hundred dollar bill and was never President. Mr. McMahon tells Coach that he is going to be William Regal’s assistant. Mr. McMahon tells Coach that William Regal likes Earl Grey Tea.

We go to Jim Ross and Jerome Lawler as they talk about Mr. McMahon comparing Congress to Barney Fife. It is time for a video package for Triple H’s return and in case you did not know, he is coming back at SummerSlam.

Todd Grisham is with King Booker and Queen Sharmell. Booker says that Triple H is not a king and it is blasphemy. He says that Triple H is a phony. He says that Jerome Lawler is a pretender to his throne. Booker says that he will prove there is one type of royalty in the WWE. King Booker says that the loser of the match between him and Jerome will have to place the crown on the head of the winner at Madison Square Garden. That will prove the true King of Kings.

We go to commercial.


We are back with the WWE Rewind: Cryme Tyme winning last week and selling the boots of their opponents.


Match Number Two: Rory of The Highlanders (with Robbie) versus Gene Snitsky


Snitsky grabs Rory by the throat but Rory with a kick. Snitsky with a clothesline followed by a pump handle power slam for the three count.

Winner: Gene Snitsky


After the match, Robbie comes into the ring to check on Rory while Snitsky walks up the Rawest Ramp in Sports Entertainment

Mr. McMahon is stopped by Coach and he says there was a call to his office. Coach says the call was from his accountant. Mr. McMahon takes the call and he says that the other shoe dropped. He says to open them all up. He says that they should audit everything, and when everything is said and done, they will be owing him money. Mr. McMahon says that the Internal Revenue Service is investigating him. Mr. McMahon says that the media is going to have a field day. He suggests that everyone will say that there is some chicanery. Mr. McMahon suggests that someone is going to suggest that Mr. McMahon was laundering money with a Colombian drug cartel. Mr. McMahon says that there is no difference between the WWE and the news media because they are all in the entertainment business. He says that facts don’t have a thing to do with the news anymore. He says that you could take every news show and you would get an extension of Entertainment Tonight. Mr. McMahon says ‘the IRS’ in a derisive tone and he walks away with Jonathan Coachman. In the background is Irwin R. Shyster reading the newspaper as we go to commercial.


We are back and Jillian Hall has a mic with her as she says that it is time to get the party started in honor of SummerSlam. Jillian asks Lillian about her new album and Jillian says that nobody wants to hear Lillian sing because they want to hear Jillian sing. Jillian ‘sings’ for the Buffalo crowd.


Match Number Three: Jillian Hall versus Mickie James


The bell rings and Jillian kicks Mickie and then she tosses Mickie by her hair. Jillian slams Mickie’s head into the turnbuckles and then she tosses Mickie face first into the mat. Jillian works on Mickie’s back but Mickie is able to get out of the hold. Jillian charges into an elbow and then Mickie with a head scissors take down followed by two flying clotheslines and a Louise Thesz Press. Mickie with a kick followed by a neck breaker for a two count. Mickie holds on to the ropes and Mickie tries for a rollup on Jillian. Mickie with a kick to Jillian’s face and then Mickie goes up top but Jillian rolls to the apron. Jillian drops Mickie’s throat on the top rope and then Jillian with a full nelson into a face first driver for the three count.


Winner: Jillian Hall


After the match, Jillian stares at Lillian after her victory.

We go the McOffice and Coach is still distraught at being made William Regal’s assistant. Coach congratulates William Regal. Coach corrects Regal and says that he is his executive assistant. Regal says that he has always wanted to be the host of a game show. He wants Coach to get some guests for his version of The Dating Game. Regal also asks Coach to get him some Earl Grey Tea.

We go to footage from last week when Carlito spit apple in John Cena’s face after their match. John Cena will be a guest on Carlito’s Cabana and it is next.


We go to commercial.


We are back with a video package for SummerSlam.

It is time for Carlito’s Cabana and Carlito comes to the ring. Carlito says that some people think that Carlito does not have juevos, but he is not afraid of anybody. Since things went so well last week, he is going to have the same guest this week. His guest is the WWE Champion John Cena.

John Cena comes to the ring. Cena backs Carlito into one of the chairs in the ring. Cena welcomes everyone to Carlito’s Cabana. He says that last week he was a guest but this week it is special. Carlito has let him host Cena’s Cabana. Cena says that it is going to be a great guest. His first guest is a little angry about something and his guest is the WWE Champion John Cena. John thanks himself for coming back on the show and he asks himself how he is doing. Cena says that he is pretty pissed off because last week on Raw some punk spit apple in his face. Cena says that it is time to do something about it. John says that they have a clip and they show a clip from last week when John Cena lost to Carlito thanks to interference from Randy Orton.

We are back to the Cabana and Cena asks himself about another person in the ring. John tells himself that it was Randy Orton, a man who has been ending careers and making statements. He is also a man who believes that he will be the next WWE Champion at SummerSlam. Cena has a message for Orton and says that ‘The Champ is here!’ John says that it is catchy and a little cliché, but it might work. John thanks himself for being on the show.

John says that it is time for his favorite part of the Cabana. The top three, from the home offices in West Newberry. The top three reasons why he should trash the Cabana and beat the crap out of Carlito. Cena picks up a coconut and gives us Number Three: ‘These are the only nuts that Carlito will ever have.’ Number Two: ‘In real life Carlito does not like apples or spitting them out because Carlito likes bananas.’ Carlito gets in Cena’s face and Cena gives Carlito the Number One item on the list: because it is cool. Cena punches Carlito but Randy Orton comes into the ring and tries for the RKO but Cena pushes Orton out of the ring. Cena hits an FU on Carlito while looking at Orton.

General Manager William Regal comes out and he says that it looks like John Cena is ready to fight. He will not pick John Cena’s opponents. He tells Carlito to get with Randy Orton to determine who will be facing John Cena. He wants an answer in a few minutes.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell walk in the back and we go to commercial.


We are back with the WWE Magazine commercial that focuses on Triple H’s return to the WWE since he is the guest editor.

We have a Moments Ago Moment of Carlito’s Cabana as Cena attacks Carlito. We see Orton’s attempt to blindside Cena but it fails. We see Cena giving Carlito the FU.

William Regal is with Carlito and Orton and Regal wants to know who will face Cena. Orton says that since Carlito beat him last week and since Orton will defeat Cena at SummerSlam, they came up with an opponent. Carlito says that they selected WWE Intercontinental Champion Umaga to face John Cena. Regal likes the selection.

Mr. McMahon wants to talk to William Regal and he says that he likes the match. Mr. McMahon asks if he can confide in William Regal. Mr. McMahon says that not everyone was concerned about his health. Mr. McMahon says that His Son Shane was nowhere to be seen and His Daughter was in the ring to cut a compassionate promo when he knows that she went to three attorneys that morning to figure out how much of his estate he will get. His wife of forty-one years was seen being consoled by his long time loyal employee Basil DeVito. He wants to find a way to galvanize the family. Mr. McMahon says that it is time for the goodness in him to come out. He says that there is nothing that will stop his family from getting back together.


Match Number Four: King Booker (with Queen Sharmell) versus Jerome Lawler

They lock up and Booker backs Lawler into the corner and he punches Lawler. Lawler punches back. Both men exchange punches with Lawler gaining the advantage. Booker goes outside the ring. Booker returns to the ring and he gets Lawler in a hammer lock. Lawler reverses but Booker with an elbow. Booker misses the side kick and Lawler punches Booker. Booker chops Lawler and then he punches Lawler for a two count. Booker with a forearm but Lawler blocks a punch. Lawler with a series of punches that knocks Booker to the mat. Booker rolls to the apron and then he drops Lawler across the top rope. Booker with a super kick to Lawler and then he stomps on Lawler’s chest. Booker punches Lawler in the corner and then he hits a back heel kick. Booker with a key lock on Lawler but Lawler gets to his feet. Lawler punches Booker and he tries for a drop kick but Booker avoids it. Booker kicks Lawler in the head. Booker gets a two count and then he goes to a reverse chin lock. Booker with knees but he misses a scissors kick. Lawler with a series of jabs followed by another punch. They fight outside the ring and they exchange punches. Lawler rolls Booker back into the ring and Sharmell distracts Lawler enough to allow Booker to hit the scissors kick for the three count.

Winner: King Booker


Ken Kennedy walks in the back as we go to commercial.

We are back and we take a look back at Bobby Lashley’s match against Ken Kennedy last week.

Jim Ross says that Bobby Lashley has a torn rotator cuff and tomorrow Bobby will have surgery in Birmingham, Alabama performed by Dr. James Andrews.

Ken Kennedy comes to the ring and he is going to address the crowd. Kennedy has a quick question for everyone. He asks everyone if they know what Bobby Lashley is hearing right now. He says that it is something that everybody will be hearing from now on. He lets out a series of ‘Kennedys’ for the people in the building. We go to commercial.

We are back and Umaga is getting a pep talk from Carlito and Randy Orton.

It is time for the WWE Dating Game with your host William Regal. Regal says that tonight, one of the Divas will get a date with an eligible bachelor. Bachelor Number One is Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Duggan takes his wedding ring off and then he says that he has suit, his tie, and a massive piece of wood. Bachelor Number Two is Ron DAMN Simmons. Ron lets out a DAMN for the crowd. Bachelor Number Three is Santino Marella.

William Regal brings out the Diva and it is a lady who loves sunsets, walks on the beach, and Rainbow Brite. Maria comes to the ring.

Maria’s first question is for Bachelor Number One: She asks him if he will be a gentleman. His response is that he won’t call her a HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The next question is for Bachelor Number Two: She asks him what he would make for her for breakfast in bed. His answer is SPAM. The next question is for Bachelor Number Three and she is interrupted by Santino and he tells her to just pick him because everyone loves them together. Maria says that is the worst Santino impression she ever heard. The next question is for Bachelor Number Two and he asks what war he would go back and stop and he responds with NAM. Bachelor Number Three interrupts and says that the other two bachelors are talking about how much they hate babies and puppies. Bachelor Number One tells him to back up and take his lies back to Italy because they are in the USA. The crowd chants USA. Santino asks Duggan if he is retarded. Regal stops the bickering and he tells Maria to make her choice. Maria says that she is a sucker for the strong, silent type so she chooses Bachelor Number Two, and it is Ron Simmons. Santino interrupts Regal before he announces the prize. Santino says that Ron is a creep and points out that they are a couple. Maria says that it is all fun and Ron tells Santino to SCRAM. Santino says that he is a former Intercontinental Champion and they are going to leave arm in arm and there is nobody to stop them.

Umaga leaves the ring and Santino gets out of the ring before Umaga gets to the ring. We go to commercial.

We are back and Coach is in the McOffice and someone has some paperwork for Mr. McMahon. Coach signs a summons and then Coach reads the papers that he was just served. Coach says that he needs to find Mr. McMahon.


Match Number Five: Intercontinental Champion Umaga versus WWE Champion John Cena

Umaga charges at Cena but Cena moves out of the way. Cena punches Umaga but Umaga sends Cena into the corner with an Irish whip. Umaga stomps on Cena and then he chops Cena. Umaga with more punches to Cena followed by a hard Irish whip. Umaga with a head butt followed by a running shoulder tackle. Umaga with another shoulder tackle as Cena goes down again. Cena avoids another shoulder tackle and Cena tries for a blockbuster but Umaga stays on his feet. Umaga with a spinning heel kick and Cena rolls outside the ring.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Umaga has Cena in a nerve hold but Umaga sends Cena back to his knees. We go to footage from the commercial break when Umaga knocked Cena off the apron and Cena hit the announce table. Cena gets back to his feet despite Umaga using his weight advantage for leverage. Umaga with a kick to Cena but Cena tries to get Umaga up for an FU but Cena collapses under Umaga’s weight. Umaga maneuvers over to Cena in the corner and Umaga with punches to the shoulder and head. Cena rolls to the apron and Cena drops Umaga on the top rope. Cena goes up top but Umaga catches Cena and hits an uranage. Umaga goes to the apron and he climbs to the top turnbuckle but he misses a frog splash. Cena gets Umaga in the STFU but Randy Orton and Carlito come to the ring.

Winner: John Cena (by disqualification)


After the match, Orton and Carlito attack Cena and then they leave Cena in the corner for Umaga to connect with the running butt splash but Umaga takes his time and then he hits Orton with an uppercut. Umaga grabs Carlito and sends Carlito into the corner and hits a super kick. Umaga looks at Cena and Carlito and Umaga charges at Carlito but Carlito gets out of the corner.

General Manager William Regal comes out and he says that Carlito and Orton’s choice of Umaga did not work out like they wanted. Next week from Madison Square Garden Randy Orton and Carlito will face John Cena and Umaga. Cena chases after Orton while Carlito backs up the ramp as Umaga comes after him.

We see Mr. McMahon walking in the back and all of the superstars are lined up against the wall. Mr. McMahon stops by Paul London and tells him to keep that smile on his face.

Mr. McMahon walks out of the building and he turns around and sees two men behind him and he gets a bit of déjà vu. Mr. McMahon walks cautiously to his limo. He enters the limo and Coach stops him before he can close the door. Coach says that he has been looking for Mr. McMahon. Coach tells Mr. McMahon that he needs to read the papers. Mr. McMahon wants Coach to tell him what the summons is for. Mr. McMahon is being served with a paternity suit in Connecticut for an illegitimate child that he is siring. Apparently there is another member of the McMahon family running around. Mr. McMahon has a pained look on his face as we go to credits.