Any time Raw rolls into the mecca of sports-entertainment – New York City’s Madison Square Garden – the strangest, most outrageous and most shocking things occur. This Monday night will be no exception, as heated rivalries build ever hotter toward SummerSlam, a crowning achievement seems inevitable, and WWE’s Chairman may suffer the consequences of some unexpected paternal affairs.
It was the mother – actually, father – of all bombshells last Monday, when Mr. McMahon was served a summons relating to a paternity suit for an illegitimate child. In the past, the Chairman has considered himself a “genetic jackhammer”; now it seems there may be truth to his statement. Does another McMahon exist out there, and if so, will the man who sired him own up to his parental responsibilities?
WWE Champion John Cena has never been one to back down from his commitments; however, his Garden obligation Monday night must have him considering it on some level. As if facing his SummerSlam opponent, Randy Orton, and Carlito in a Tag Team Match wasn’t going to be bad enough, Cena must do so with a savage partner who tried to destroy him last week: Intercontinental Champion Umaga. How can The Champ possibly co-exist with the Samoan Bulldozer and fend off a calculated attack from two of Raw’s most cunning Superstars? Read the full story ...
On top of everything else, Madison Square Garden will also host royalty this Monday night. After a momentary distraction by Queen Sharmell cost him his match last week, Jerry “The King” Lawler must hail King Booker and crown him in a Royal Coronation ceremony. How difficult will it be for Lawler, a wrestling “King” for more than 30 years, to swallow his royal pride and acknowledge Booker as His Majesty in the kingdom of sports-entertainment?
For the answers to these questions and more, be sure to watch Raw in Madison Square Garden, live at 9/8 CT, only on USA Network. Or join us for our LIVE coverage right here on the night.
Please feel free to discuss RAW here. No need to wait for updates!
Mr. McMahon struts to the ring to officially kick the show off. All the wrestlers from RAW, Smackdown, and ECW are surrounding the ring. Vince says he was shocked by the news. He admits to "one or two" rendezvous in his lifetime. He claims the mother is withholding the name from him, meaning it is not a paternity suit, but extortion. He can't be intimidated by Congress, the media, or someone who should have been on the pill. He takes solace in the fact that all of the wrestlers and his family members support him. He wants the fans support in his time of need. For thirty years, he has been in the public spotlight, and nothing can bother him anymore.
Stephanie McMahon's music plays and the Billion Dollar Princess hits the ring. She is upset at Vince for accusing her of wrong doing last week. Vince says it's all about the money with her. She calls Vince sick. She drops the BOMB of all bombs and says the bastard is a WWE superstar. My money is on Jimmy Wang Yang. Vince looks around the ring at all of the wrestlers. He gets out of the ring and pauses to look at Ken Kennedy and even Mark Henry. Commercial.
A package on Bobby Lashley and his surgery is shown. It maintains storyline by having Lashley call out Kennedy. Speaking of Mr. Kennedy...
Mr. Kennedy vs. Sandman
They lock up and Kennedy pushes Sandman in the corner. Sandman shoves him off. Waistlock by Sandman. Kennedy gets out and turns it into a hammerlock. They shove each other. Sandman punches Kennedy repeatedly. White Russian Leg Sweep by Sandman. He goes to the top, but Kennedy meets him and snapmares him to the mat. He throws Sandman into the corner, then knees him in the face. Kennedy does a standing Green Bay Plunge for the win.
Your winner, Mr. Kennedy!
McMahon is in the back venting to Coach. He says it's one thing to have a bastard, it's another to have Steph tell you it is someone on the roster. Which roster? Coach wants to eliminate wrestlers by age. He wants to know when McMahon became sexually active and suggests 20. McMahon says lower. Lower than 15? Vince says he was almost a teenager. Coach says it could be anyone on the roster. WOOOOOOO. Up comes Ric Flair. Anyone who has seen Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood knows that Ric could still be the son. Legend Killer video package, then a commercial.
Recap of William Regal winning the General Manager position. He will be hosting WWE Idol tonight.
JBL and Michael Cole do their impression of Hall & Oates for Regal, singing Private Eyes. JBL berates Cole. Santino interrupts as Regal is talking to Maria and says that he is with Maria. He will sing a song on WWE Idol to melt her heart. Regal says no more contestants. JBL and Cole start singing Rich Girl. Ron Simmons interrupts. They ask what his favorite 80s band is. WHAM! Wake me up before you go go.
Cryme Tyme come out to get money money, get money. They are selling Lillian's seat, from right under her. Username Buckwrestling bids 1,000 dollars immediately. The real bidding starts at four hundred dollars. Someone says 1,000 dollars. Funny segment.
Cade & Murdoch come out for a match with Cryme Tyme. Commercial.
Cade & Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme (JTG & Shad Gaspard)
The match is in progress with Cade and Murdoch working over Shad. Cade tags in and pounds Shad down. He charges in the corner and tags in Murdoch. Shad tries to fight back, but Murdoch hits a Side Russian Legsweep for two. Murdoch drops an elbow on the gut, then appies a headlock. Shad fights out by ramming Murdoch into the corner. He dives and tags in JTG, who cleans house. Reverse neck snap and a leg lariat from the top for two. Cade breaks up the pin, and as the referee is distracted, Cade and Murdoch nail the High-Low. Shad interrupts with a chair shot (the one they just auctioned off) and gets disqualified.
Your winners, Cade & Murdoch!
Another Legend Killer package, this one on Rob Van Dam.
A Triple H package plays after the commercial.
Snitsky vs. one of the Highlanders (does it matter who?)
Your winner, Snitsky!
Vince is talking about some of his dalliances with Coach. He brags of an iceberg in Alaska. Coach wants a list of Vince's indiscretions, and Coach can have something together by Saturday Night's Main Event. Vince says it could be anybody and Cody Rhodes appears behind him. Cody says not to worry, he knows who his father is. Cody gives Vince a rubber as a gift. Vince says that reminds him to sue Trojan. Vince wonders who is is, and Boogeyman appears singing Cat's Cradle. That's pretty funny. Coach says he has Vince's eyes.
WWE Idol
Regal calls Grisham more womanly than Seacrest and threatens to fire him if he says Grisham out. Maria is the second judge. She compliments Todd's pitch. Judge #3 is Mick Foley. He says he has realized it is great to be in NYC (cheap pop) and secondly, he will do almost anything for money. Dave Scherer nods in agreement.
First Contestant: Jillian Hall
illian says she is doing a Broadway classic. She sings Memory from Cars (credit to Mike Johnson!) with new lyrics. Brooke Hogan, eat your heart out. Mick says that he is glad he has his right ear ripped off. Maria that her singing was....she looks really pretty. Regal, obviously doing a Simon Cowell impression, says he should change the main event to Roe vs. Wade because that was an abortion. Oooooohhhhh.
Second Contestants: Nikolai Volkoff & The Iron Sheik w/ Howard Finkel
Finkel says that Nikolai requests everyone rise and respect his singing of the Soviet National Anthem. Maria is the only judge to rise. Mick says that was classic, and he didn't let it affect him when the fans chanted USA. Maria says he has a beautiful singing voice, but she wishes she could understand. Regal causes it bloody dreadful and says he wishes Nikolai had lost his voice like Sheik lost the WWE Championship. Sheik starts ranting and Regal orders security.
Final Contestant: Lillian Garcia:
Lillian sings New York, New York, but gets interrupted by Santino. He says Times Square is missing a filthy prostitute based on her outfit. Santino sings That's Amore, changing the lyrics for Maria. Mick cuts him off says listening to that is almost as painful as watching Santino wrestle. Santino says he can't talk to him like that and orders Maria to leave with him. She says she is still judging. He says it isn't up for debate, but Ron Simmons comes out. Santino tries to shove him away, but Simmons throws him into the entrance. Regal declares him the winner, and we get a Damn! I'm sure some will complain about it, but this was a fun segment, and Regal's line was brutal (whether it was good or bad depends on your sense of humor).
Your winner of WWE Idol, Ron Simmons!
Cody Rhodes vs. Charlie Haas
Waistlock takedown by Haas and a shoulderblock. Hiptoss by Cody. Cody gets two with a rollup. Haas rams Cody in the corner and kicks him. Elbow and punches from Cody. Haas blocks the Side Russian attempt by holding the ropes. Kick to the chest for two and Haas puts on a chinlock. Knees to the sternum by Haas, and a knee drop for two. Facelock by Haas. Jawbreaker by Rhodes. He tosses Haas in the corner. Knee to the gut and a release belly to belly by Haas for two. Another chinlock by Charlie. Cody fights out, but is kneed again. Cody hot shots Haas on the top rope. Cody with some lefts and a right. Knee drop and dropkicks by Cody. He hits a big bulldog. Cody to the top rope. Haas rolls through the crossbody for two. Inside cradle by Cody for the win. Shelton chases him out of the ring.
Your winner, Cody Rhodes!
King Booker and Jerome Lawler are present for the coronation ceremony. Booker brags about being the one true king as Lawler seethes in the background. Booker wants to "ax", nay demand that Jerome place the crown on Booker's head. He hilariously breaks character to ask Lawler what his problem is and tells him to put the damn crown on his head. That was gold. Lawler says Booker isn't the only King, so he won't put the crown on his head. Booker will have a match at Summerslam with Triple H. No Triple H in person...just a package. Booker's face twitches. Booker and Lawler fight. Booker with a low blow and he pounds on Jerome. He lays out Lawler with a monitor from the announcer's desk. He calls himself the King of the World. To JR: "I'll break you off too, son. Say somethin, say somethin...I'm begging you!" Booker is tremendous when he breaks character. Classic.
Orton comes out to talk about his Summerslam match. He says he doesn't just beat people, he ends careers. He says he is going to be the hero of people who dislike Cena, which gets a pop. For those that favor Cena, he will be their worst nightmare since nothing will stop him from becoming WWE Champion.
Randy Orton & Carlito vs. John Cena & Umaga
Orton and Umaga start off. Umaga with a reverse elbow and punches to Orton in the corner. He misses a splash and Carlito tags in. The two pound Umaga, but he blocks a double team and clotheslines them down. Cena helps to clear house. He and Umaga stare at each other. Commercial.
Cena is pounding Carlito's head against the turnbuckle in the corner for two. Dueling chants in the Garden. Cena continues to work over Carlito in the corner. Flying shouldertackles by Cena and a Blue Thunder Driver. Five Knuckle Shuffle. He lifts Carlito up for the FU, but Orton helps block it. Cena is distracted and Carlito knocks him out of the ring. Orton hits him on the floor and Carlito dumps him back in the ring for two. Carlito punches and kicks Cena then tags Orton in. Orton stalks Cena and punches him. Stomp to the back of Cena's head. Dropkick by Orton for two. Carlito tags back in and kicks Cena. They double team Cena in the corner. Neckbreaker by Carlito for two. He applies a chinlock, adding pressure to the back with his knee. Cena reverses with another Blue Thunder Driver. Orton tags in and clotheslines Cena down for a near fall. Orton mounts Cena and punches away. Garvin/Orton Stomp. Cena dodges the knee drop. Orton tags Carlito in and he trades punches with Cena. Carlito blocks a back body drop by kicking Cena for two. Orton tags back in and pounds Cena. Orton with a European Uppercut. Orton with a headlock. Cena blocks a charge in the corner and gives Orton a bulldog. Carlito prevents the tag and punches Cena. Cena with a back body drop. Both men go for tags. Cena dives, but Umaga stalls. He finally comes in and cleans house. Samoan Drop to Carlito for two. Superkick to Orton. He hits Whipsplash on Orton. Carlito slips off the Backstabber Attempt and Cena FUs Carlito for the win (even though Umaga was the legal man).
Your winners, John Cena & Umaga!
In the back, Vince has listed all his indiscretions for Coach...for the 1970s. Vince enjoys reliving his memories, telling a story about a couple of flight attendants. As he is telling the story, Coach points out that Linda McMahon is standing behind him. Oh, she saw the Playboy interview like everyone else did. Linda says Vince no longer has a home to end the show.
08-14-2007, 05:13 AM
JohnCenaFan28
Um, Lion you got something wrong. When Umaga went back to the turnbuckle by Cena to do the butt-ram thing to Orton, Cena tagged himself in but let Umaga do the move. Anyway, that was an ALMOST perfect RAW. It just needed Melina and Cena to not win the match but the guy who did all the work, Umaga to win it.
08-14-2007, 12:09 PM
LionDen
No caps this week sorry but we will have the Diva caps up ASAP in WOW.
I was enjoying RAW without Snitzky lol here we go with Linda vs Vince again lol
08-14-2007, 05:32 PM
JohnCenaFan28
I love Snitsky! Matches with stupid jobbers, he makes go by quickly. I'm really loving this McMahon storyline, especially when Kennedy and Vince had a stare down.
08-14-2007, 06:47 PM
Big Evil
Yeah I think it was kinda stupid to hint that Kennedy is the 'illegitimate child' of McMahon. They did this by !) Kennedy being the ONLY superstar clapping for McMahon, and 2) Kennedy and McMahon having the staredown. Now judging by the crowds reaction, they would like nothing more than to see Kennedy end up as McMahon's illegitimate son. I think this is a damn good idea to go in this direction, as the crowd is definitely into it.
08-14-2007, 09:18 PM
XXKSXX
Really don't have to worry about Snitsky to much he's only on for like 3 minutes. tops. lol The singing was pretty interesting, but I thought Regal was GM not a game show host. Main Event went over well and Umaga is gaining lots of face value. Witch is kind of funny that they are making him into a face. One last thing Booker sucks and his wife blows.
