Mock the Quotes: Inter-dimensional portal
This is a weekly feature on football-italia.net. It's a collection of the silliest statements from the week in Italian football and is written by Susy Campanale.
Let me know what you think, and if I should keep posting them.
Massimo Moratti discovers a scientific anomaly, Rafa Benitez gets homework and Antonio Conte’s fairytale wisdom as Susy Campanale finds the silliest comments.
“Walter Mazzarri? They're all good Coaches, but then they have to work at Inter which is something different…”
Massimo Moratti finally concedes his club is an alternate dimension
“Moratti confirmed me four days ago, so I doubt he has changed his mind in such a short space of time…”
Does Andrea Stramaccioni know anything about working in Italy?!
“The new Coach has to love Neapolitan-ness; he has to start speaking in Napoletano.”
Aurelio De Laurentiis sets Rafa Benitez some homework and a steady diet of pizza
“I’ve given myself a birthday gift, I've signed Benitez.”
Would some socks not have been better for De Laurentiis?
“I’ve been to hell and back. Six minutes from time we were out of the Champions League. It was a last-gasp win, but almost my last gasp too!”
Milan, Adriano Galliani and his lucky yellow tie almost came a cropper in Siena
“We finished fourth in the Serie A table, but third on the field.”
This must be the first time Fiorentina general manager Sandro Mencucci has paraphrased Juventus
“With a few more penalties Milan could have almost won the Scudetto this season.”
Manuel Pasqual also notes Mario Balotelli would’ve been Capocannoniere
“I get bored repeating the same things all the time. I’ve already said that I’d confirm myself in the job. Maybe I’ll change it up for you: I’d definitely fire myself, as I am incompetent!”
Aurelio Andreazzoli may as well get in there first
“In Italy there is this obsession with tactics, so you can even win when playing badly.”
Massimiliano Allegri feels maybe Benitez is perfect for Serie A after all
“Look at the Inter side which won the treble. That season they won everything, that was the peak but they built nothing.”
Antonio Conte really learned his lesson from reading Three Little Pigs as a child
“Nobody looks like me now, they’ve all got mohicans!”
Alessandro Del Piero forgets he used to have a mullet...
“I think it is hard to wear the Juventus shirt.”
Stripes are not slimming, warns Parma director Pietro Leonardi
