Pimp serving life for stomping john’s face with Jordans sues Nike

Pimp serving life for stomping john’s face with Jordans sues Nike

February 6, 2014 7:22 PM By Cora Van Olson

Sirgiorgiro Clardy, 26, is serving life in an Oregon prison for the brutal 2012 stomping of the face of a john, who reportedly tried to get out of paying. The victim survived, but his face was turned to goo. He required stitches to his face and plastic surgery to repair the damage caused by Clardy’s Jordans.

In 2013 Clardy was convicted as a dangerous criminal unlikely to rehabilitate of second-degree assault with a dangerous weapon for using his Jordans in the attack. He was also convicted of robbing the john and of beating the prostitute so savagely that she bled from her ears. He was sentenced to 100 years in prison, which seems to have given him time to think.

It could have been much worse, Clardy was facing 300 years in prison, but even so, he threw a violet, expletive-filled fit in the courtroom and had to be removed and later gagged to prevent him from spitting on people.

After much reflection, Clardy decided that his predicament was Nike’s fault for not adequately warning consumers that their shoes could be used as a dangerous weapon. He is suing for his mental suffering, ”Do (sic) to the fact that these defendants named in this Tort claim failed to warn of risk or to provide an adequate warning or instruction it has caused personal injury in the likes of mental suffering.” He added that he had tried to kill himself several times.

He is asking a court to order Nike to label all of their ”potentially dangerous Nike and Jordan merchandise” as such. He is suing for $100 million.

Nike has not yet responded to the complaint.

Nike hasn't responded because they're too busy rolling in dough and laughing their asses off at this.