Prison Pickup Lines

Interested in serving HARD time?

Damn, you are sexy in stripes.

Is that a zip-gun carefully carved out of a piece of discarded metal found on the floor of the prison license-plat manufacturing shop in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Don't you prefer dropping bar soap instead of that liquid crap?

You know, normally I don't give in in the first 30 seconds, but I guess I'm just a sucker for sheer muscle mass.

Nice teeth. They'd look so much better on the floor of my cell.

Due to a recent execution, I now have an opening for my prison bitch.

Who wants to marry a multiple murderer?

I've been watching you from across the yard for awhile now, and I knew if I didn't work up the courage to just walk over here and ask you to be my bitch, I might regret it for the rest of my life sentence.

Bread, water or me?

Hold still while I staple this centerfold to the back of your head.

Stop by my cell later for a Lethal Injection.

That orange jumpsuit really brings out the red in your freshly healed knife wound.

Care to give Prisoner Johnson a weekend furlough?

Cinemax3 is doing another one of those Women In Prison movies soon...Wanna audition in my cell?

You're new here... let me debrief you and introduce you to the penal system.

Wanna attend a chain gang bang?

You look even better in person than you did on America's Most Wanted.

If looks could kill, you'd get 25 to life.

You're getting your GED... wow, that makes me so H.O.T.!!