Impact Results 9/24

We start off with a look back at last week's TNA World Title match between Bobby Lashley and Bobby Roode, then we go to Jeremy Borash, who fills us in on the rules of tonight's Gold Rush Series, as MVP, Brutus Magnus, Austin Aries, Abyss, and Robbie E will all face mystery opponents, and the winners of their matches will go on to the main event for a shot at any champion in TNA they want.

We see a video package of MVP, then we go to the ring for his first round match! He gets a mic when he gets in the ring and says he doesn't care who he faces because he will be victorious. Low Ki comes out to answer that challenge, and he gets a video package as well.

Gold Rush First Round Match: MVP vs Low Ki

Low Ki goes right for an armbar and MVP cradles him to his back for a quick 2 count, then they break and start from neutral. MVP takes Low Ki to the corner and catches him with a hard elbow, then puts the boots to him. Low Ki catches MVP with a mule kick out of the corner, then unloads with chops in the corner. He goes for the Ki Krusher, but MVP (who is way bigger and thicker) easily blocks that. Low Ki goes to the second rope, but MVP pulls him out by the ankle and Ki hits the mat hard. MVP gets a couple of two counts off of that, but misses a Yakuza kick in the corner and leaves an opening for Ki to get some more strikes. MVP blocks the Ki Krusher again, and MVP is so underwhelmed by Ki's chops that he unzips the front of his wetsuit and holds it open while inviting Ki to give him more chops. Ki obliges, but MVP isn't affected and rips Ki's head off with a big lariat. MVP with kneestrikes to Low Ki's chest, then Yakuza kicks him over the top rope and to the floor. MVP hits a slingshot dive over the top rope and takes Low Ki out with a forearm as we go to commercial.

We're back, and MVP is still beating the crap out of Low Ki like it ain't no thang. He hits Ballin' and then picks Ki up, pops him way up in the air for a big backdrop, but Low Ki, in one of the most insane counters I've ever seen, comes down with a double stomp on top of MVP's shoulders, then pops off of MVP and double stomps him in the back of the head. That was just nuts. Now Low Ki is opening up with kicks and hits the Tidal Krush, sending MVP rolling out to the floor. Low Ki springboards off the top rope and takes MVP out with a dive, they go back inside and MVP still blocks the Ki Krusher, so he goes for a cartwheel Tidal Krush and MVP tackles Low Ki's arms out from under him to disrupt the move. Another great counter. MVP finishes Low Ki with the Drive By.

Winner: MVP

Terrific opener, these guys have great chemistry and worked really hard. Now MVP moves on to the Gold Rush main event tonight.

The Bromans are backstage and Robbie says he gets a shot at any title he wants when he wins the Gold Rush tonight, and he's also on the Amazing Race with Brooke Tessmacher, and then they notice the cameras and Robbie E runs away for some reason I didn't catch but was probably silly.

We look back at last week's ladder match between the Wolves, Team 3D, and the Hardys, and the finals of the Tag Team Title Series will be next week!

Robbie E comes out for his match and asks the fans what they see when they look at him, then says they see a perfect 10 and really big muscles, but most of all, they see a guy from New Jersey (big heel reaction from the crowd) who is tougher than anybody in New York. In fact, he's tougher than anyone in the United States...no, in the world! He's not just a superstar, he's inter-bro-national, and he's going to prove it! I notice he doesn't get a video package like MVP and Low Ki did. Oh well.

Gold Rush First Round Match: Robbie E vs Yoshihiro Tajiri

Robbie tries a fast start, but Tajiri is somehow still able to get his leg up high enough to kick Robbie in the chest and send him out to the floor. Tajiri goes out after him, but got tired expending the effort and Robbie was easily able to ram him into the ring apron. Robbie proves what he said about the huge muscles by hoisting Tajiri back into the ring, then hits him with a shot from the top rope and fires right hands into Tajiri's head before locking him up with a chinlock. Geez, and I thought Warrior blew up quickly. Tajiri fires some kicks at Robbie's knees (he used up his juice hitting that high one earlier), then trades punches with Robbie from their knees. Tajiri hits the handspring elbow (!) for 2, then truly tests the robustness of the six-sided ring by catching Robbie in the Tarantula. Robbie ducks the kick to the face and hits an implant DDT for 2. He was actually going for a vertical suplex, but that's a tall order for anyone, so he went for the DDT instead. Tajiri gets another kick to the knee, blows mist in Robbie's face behind the referee's back (I suspect it was really BBQ sauce), and hits the knockout kick for the win.

Winner: Yoshihiro Tajiri

Tajiri's in the finals, and I really hope for everyone else's sake it's not an over the top rope match.

Spud is backstage saying that he and Ethan Carter III are fine no matter what everyone has heard on the "internet".

Austin Aries is backstage, and he's...WALKING!

Spud is backstage profusely apologizing to EC3 on the phone for screwing up and promises he won't screw up again. He sees the backstage camera (what's going on tonight?) and takes off.

Gold Rush First Round: Austin Aries vs Knux

I totally think Knux is winning this. What is the point of the Freak? Can't they get rid of him since he doesn't ever do anything and maybe like...I dunno, pay Rebel more or something? They start off going for a test of strength which Knux easily wins, then he bowls over Aries with a shoulderblock. Aries goes for a brainbuster, Knux blocks so Aries dropkicks his knee out instead and starts unloading with a flurry of right and left hands. Knux rolls to the floor and Aries goes for the heat seeking missile, but Knux boots him in the face as he comes through the ropes. OUCH! Knux drills Aries with a dropkick (!), but he misses a charge in the corner and takes more fast shots from Aries. Aries finally hammers Knux so badly that Knux slumps out to the apron and walks it off at ringside. Aries goes for another dive, but Knux dodges and Aries takes the Freak and Crazzy Steve out instead. Knux quickly elevates Aries and drops him on the apron, then easily hauls him back into the ring and hits a side suplex (not sideslam, Tenay. It's not a sidewalk slam either, Jim Ross), then hits a splash in the corner and the short crossbody for 2. Knux goes for the Sky High, but Aries counters to a Frankensteiner that sends Knux crashing into the ringpost. Aries hits the IED and goes for the brainbuster, Knux blocks, so Aries catches Knux with a series of roaring elbows, another IED, and finally manages to drill Knux with the brainbuster for the win.

Winner: Austin Aries

Good match, Knux looked better and more competitive here than I've ever seen him since coming to TNA. He'd make a great serious power wrestler if TNA didn't make him out to be some circus dumbass. He also showed great athleticism with some of the moves he was pulling off out there.

Magnus is backstage, and he's...WALKING!

We look back at last week's title match, and Roode giving comments after the match about only having Lashley and the TNA Title in his sights.

Gold Rush First Round Match: Brutus Magnus vs Ken Anderson

Mike Tenay reminds me that Anderson is a two-time former TNA World Champion, which I completely forgot, as Magnus attacks Anderson on the way into the ring. Magnus takes Anderson down with a shoulderblock, but Anderson catches him with a back elbow and covers for 1. Magnus blocks an early attempt at the Mic Check and bails out to the floor, then pulls the ring apron up to trap Anderson as he tries a baseball slide. Magnus hammers the trapped Anderson and goes back inside to let the referee count, then hammers Anderson with some forerms and a hanging bulldog as he comes back into the ring. Magnus covers for a series of two counts, then just starts drilling Anderson in the face with right hands. Anderson fights out of a chinlock, but Magnus flattens him with the rebound clothesline for 2. Anderson catches Magnus with a clothesline and then they trade right hands in the middle of the ring. Anderson with clotheslines and elbows, then hits the Finlay Roll for 2. Magnus gets a sunset flip and Anderson drops down and cradles the legs for 2, Magnus hits a big uranage and makes a cover, but Anderson gets his foot on the bottom rope at 2. Magnus waits for Anderson to get to his feet, but Anderson counters his move to the Mic Check and covers to advance.

Winner: Ken Anderson

Geez, Magnus' stock has really fallen, hasn't it? Good match though, and Anderson is in the finals with MVP, Aries, and Tajiri.

Abyss is backstage, and he's...WALKING!

We see a video package hyping Team 3D's induction into the TNA Hall of Fame at Bound For Glory, then we look back at the first four matches in tonight's Gold Rush Tournament, then it's a video package of the events leading into next week's Gail Kim-Havok match for the Knockouts Title, and then it's FINALLY time to head back to the ring to finish off the first round of the Gold Rush Tournament!

Gold Rush First Round Match: Abyss vs Samuel Shaw

The two weirdos come out to the middle of the ring and stare at each other. Abyss does his Abyss flexing thing and they tie up. Abyss easily shoves him off, so Shaw fires off some right hands. Abyss blocks a whip to the ropes and drills Shaw with a back elbow and a clothesline. Shaw blocks a chokeslam with a kick, but Abyss goozles him again and just powers him over the top rope to the floor. Abyss continues beating Shaw up on the floor, but Shaw starts fighting back, rams Abyss into the ring steps, and then slams Abyss' arm into the steps to prevent any more chokeslamming or goozling. And goozle is kind of a goofy name for CHOKING A GUY, don't you think? They go back inside and Abyss plants Shaw with a side suplex/side slam/sidewalk slam, then he GOOZLES Shaw and chokeslams him. These stupid move names. Shaw gets a chair and smashes it into Abyss' head, but he did it on the floor so it's legal. Doesn't matter either way because he comes back into the ring and gets hit straight off with the Black Hole Sidewalk Goozle Slam for the win.

Winner: Abyss

So the finals are set: it's MVP, Austin Aries, Yoshihiro Tajiri, Abyss, and Ken Anderson for a shot at any TNA Title they want. And if any of them want a shot at anything but the TNA World Title, that officially makes them morons. Abyss has about three minutes to rest, because the Gold Rush finals is up after this commercial break!

It's main event time!

Gold Rush Finals: MVP vs Austin Aries vs Yoshihiro Tajiri vs Ken Anderson vs Abyss

Everyone spills out to the floor and starts brawlingright off the bat, leaving only MVP in the ring, but his plan quickly falls apart when Abyss comes in to confront him and he quickly tags out to Anderson. Anderson doesn't fare very well and takes a smacking up from Abyss, but Abyss decides to take it easy on Anderson and tags Tajiri in. Even with an hour or so to rest and hit the buffet, Tajiri doesn't have it in him to do more than trade shots with Anderson in the middle of the ring. He musters a half-charge into the corner, but Anderson dodges and fires a bunch of right hands at Tajiri and charges him. Tajiri waddles out of the way and rolls Anderson up for 2, then Anderson tags Aries in to battle the guy he teamed with last week. Tajiri gives him an armdrag which looked more like Tajiri flopping to the mat whilehanging on to Aries' arm, and they work on the mat a bit so Tajiri doesn't have to run or stand or anything strenuous. Back to the mat, but Tajiri thankfully saved his gas so he could hit the handspring elbow again as we go to commercial.

We're back and Tajiri tries the Tarantula again, but gravity takes over and Tajiri goes to the floor. MVP distracts Aries so Tajiri can come in and hit a knockout kick, but Aries is too close to the ropes and breaks the cover at 2. Anderson comes in and hits a series of backbrekers on Aries until Aries small packages him for 2. Tajiri and Abyss come in and Tajiri hits yet another handspring elbow (the only athletic thing he's apparently able to do anymore) and blows mist in Abyss' face. Anderson tags himself in and goes at it with Tajiri, who has a little trouble getting into it, but catches Anderson in the Tarantula. Tajiri releases him and goes to the top, but Anderson, with a Herculean effort, hoists Tajiri up and hits a top rope Finlay Roll. He didn't notice MVP tag himself in though, and MVP catches him with the Drive By. Aries breaks up MVP's cover and they trade shots in the middle of the ring, and MVP hoists Aries over with a release suplex. Aries drops down and an MVP charge sends him out to the floor, and then Aries takes MVP and Abyss out with a heat seeking missile. Aries sends MVP and Anderson back in, tags himself in off of Anderson, and drills MVP with a missile dropkick. MVP gets his boot up when Aries goes for an IED, Aries dodges another Drive By attempt, and he rolls MVP up for the win.

Winner: Austin Aries

Solid main event to cap off a great night of wrestling. I really enjoyed this week's show, the latest in a great streak by TNA.

Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com! I'll be back on Friday to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!

Thank you :)