Best Chapters in Sex for Dummies

16. Evolution 101: Why Dummies Might Actually Make Poor Sex Partners

15. Troubleshooting for Do-It-Yourselfers (NOTE: emorize this chapter *before* you go blind.)

14. Oh, God! Yes!! Oh, God! OH, GOD!!!: The Missionary Position

13. Am I a Tab A or a Slot B?

12. Engineering Secrets of the Bra: Removal in 14 Simple Steps

11. The Face: How to Tell Your Lover Apart from All Those Other People

10. Chapter 4: No, You Don't *Actually* Blow

9. Stop Masturbating, She's Real!

8. You're Britney, I'm Strom: Introduction to Role Playing

7. Foreplay: Not Just for Her Birthday, Chester

6. Putting the Condom on a Banana is Just for *Practice*, Dumbass

5. Crouching Doggie and Hidden Missionary: A Guide to Sexual Positions

4. "Alternate" Lifestyles: Pokeman?

3. Hey! Watch Those Teeth, Vampira!!

2. Sexual Physics: The Round Peg/Round Hole Theory

And the Number 1 Chapter in "Sex for Dummies"...

Chapter 1: Mayor McWeiner and the Clamburglar