His Version vs Her Version

One year, a man recorded every day of the year and whether he had sex with his wife or not. In the 365 days he conducted his research, he only had sex 12days.

He recorded the reasons why his wife couldn't have sex with him the other days, and these are the results:

1. The sheets are clean....................................54 times
2. It is too late..........................................17 times
3. Too tired from shopping all day.........................49 times
4. It is too early........................................ 20 times
5. It is too hot.......................................... 15 times
6. Pretending to be asleep.................................15 times
7. The neighbors will hear us...............................3 times
8. Headache.......................................... ......22 times
9. Sunburn........................................... .......7 times
10. Your Mother will hear us.................................9 times
11. Not in the mood.........................................43 times
12. You will wake the baby..................................17 times
13. Watching the late show...................................6 times
14. New Hairdo............................................ ...5 times
15. Too sore.............................................. ..16 times
16. Wrong time of month.....................................36 times
17. Have to get up early....................................19 times


And here is this man's wife's version of the research:

1. Came home drunk and tried to "do" the cat...............15 times
2. Did not come home at all................................36 times
3. Did not come............................................21 times
4. Came too soon...........................................33 times
5. Went soft before you got it in..........................33 times
6. Toes cramped........................................... .10 times
7. Working too late........................................38 times
8. Have to get up early to play golf.......................29 times
9. Had a fight and someone kicked you in the balls..........2 times
10. Caught Herman in your zipper.............................4 times
11. Caught a cold and your nose kept running.................3 times
12. Burned your tongue on hot coffee.........................3 times
13. You had a splinter in your finger....................... 2 times
14. Came in your PJ's while reading a dirty book............16 times
15. Watching football on TV.................................98 times
16. Hemorrhoids flared up...................................10 times

great joke