Requesting Sterile Operation

A man visited the local clinic and filled out a form requesting an operation to make him sterile.

Under the heading for Reason Requesting The Procedure he wrote:

My reasons are numerous. After being married for seven years and having had 7 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless.

After getting married I was advised to use the rhythm method. Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-Cha. Apart from that, where do you find a band when you get the urge at two o'clock in the morning?

Then a doctor suggested the safe period. At the time, we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait 3 weeks for the safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work, and the wife got pregnant.

Next a lady of several years' experience said if we made love while breast feeding we would be all right. Well, I finished up with clear skin, silky hair and was very healthy, but the wife got pregnant yet again.

Another tale we heard was if the wife jumped up and down after intercourse this would prevent pregnancy. She slipped a disk but still got pregnant again.

When I asked the pharmacist about condoms, he was kind enough to demonstrate them, so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which did not surprise me as I never did believe how stretching one of those things over your thumb could prevent babies.

Our neighbor, a nurse suggested we try the coil next but that didn't work. It had a left-hand screw and my wife is definitely a right-hand screw.

Then the sister-in-law told the wife about the Dutch cap and it seemed to be our answer, but my wife got severe headaches when the only size available was too tight across the forehead.

Eventually we tried the Pill, but it kept dropping out, so she tried it between her knees and hell it worked cuz I couldn't get anywhere near her.

You must appreciate my problems. If I can't have the operation I will have to resort to oral sex, and I can't believe that just talking about sex is going to
be any substitute for the real thing.