Benefits Of Being A Woman

*We got off the Titanic first.

* We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

* When we buy a vibrator, it's sexy. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic.

* Our boyfriends' clothes look elfin and gorgeous on us -- guys look like complete idiots in ours.

* We can be groupies.

* Male groupies are stalkers.

* We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

* Taxis stop for us.

* Men die sooner, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

* Free drinks.

* Free dinners.

* We can hug our friends without wondering if they think we're gay.

* We can hug our friends without wondering if we're gay.

* We know the truth about whether size matters.

* New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.