The Drunken Adventures of Matt Hardy, Part One
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and children of all ages--here we go--the first ever "Drunken Adventures of Matt Hardy!"
Several years ago, I was in Las Vegas with the rest of Team Xtreme to perform in a WWE live event at the Thomas and Mack Center. I was in a tag match with Jeff, and Amy (Lita) was in a women's single match. Most of the guys and girls were planning on going out that night--just because we were in Vegas. Amy and I were in. For some reason, Jeff wasn't. I think it was around the time when he was going through his initial loner stage. So that night Amy and I were amped up and ready to go out and have a great time. Our crew did some club hopping, but if I'm not mistaken, we finally ended up settling in at Studio 54.
We were all in the VIP area, and people were buying the boys and girls drink after drink. We were all buying each other round after round of shots. There was some MAJOR drinking going on. Amy was definitely feeling it--I could always tell how deep she was through her eyes. Right around this time, WWE hadn't long bought WCW, and we were still kinda getting use to all the new guys and girls being around. On this particular night, I definitely remember Torrie Wilson and Stacy Kiebler being out at the club. This was the night the famous Lita-Stacy scenario happened (the one Amy mentions in her autobiography). I was obviously buzzed, and so was was Stacy. I remember we were talking and she was dancing, and we were kinda half-ass dancing together. I vividly remember Amy focusing in on this and her mood changing instantly. Amy marched right over to Stacy and shoved her down. She looked at me, then looked at Stacy, and then broke her look of anger and said "Just kidding!" But she certainly wasn't kidding, ha! Everyone continued to drink, and I recollect Amy telling me she was starting to feel sick. The next thing I know, Tommy Dreamer was telling me Amy had just thrown up. Tommy actually exaggerated the story. Tom Jones was at the club in the same VIP as us that night--Tommy claimed that Amy took off Tom's top-hat and threw up in it. In actuality, she threw up in a bowl they keep behind the bar designed for clientele that have had a little too much to drink. Tommy and I preceded to take Amy out of the club because she was done for the evening.
As Tommy and I were assisting Amy to my car, I was thinking to myself, "What am I gonna do?" I was drunk as f*ck--I couldn't drive--I could barely walk. But I knew I had to get Amy away from the club because she was sick, miserable, and passing out. So I formulated a plan. I would take Amy to the car, lay her down in the back seat, and go get something to eat and sober myself up. I had it all figured all, as all drunk people do. We got to the car, I told Dreamer I was cool, and he headed back inside. It was about 4 in the morning, but it was still majorly hot outside. I didn't want to leave Amy in a scorching hot car--so I turned the ignition on and started running the air conditioner. I figured I would cool the car down, and then head off to have one of those world-famous Las Vegas buffets. Not exactly. The cold air felt great--so good I started relaxing and reclined my seat--and passed out. Yep, I fell asleep. No alarm set. And we had to catch a flight at 1 p.m. the next day to fly to Fresno for tomorrow's show.
I woke up around 9 a.m., in one of those "where the f*ck am I?" type panics. I was sweating, the heat was sweltering, and I woke up more drunk than I was when I passed out. I hate it when that happens! I tried to crank the car--but UH-UH! I had left the ignition on and the air running without the car cranked for 5 hours--the battery was dead! I got out of the car and was trying my damnedest to come up with a good game plan. I puked after I woke up, and Amy had puked all over the floor-mats in the back. Our rental car smelled like death, it was 95 degrees outside, and we only had a couple of hours to catch our flight. My drunken state of mind wasn't very conducive to solving my problems in a timely fashion. For some ungodly reason, I starting walking down the Las Vegas strip looking for a convenient store that I could buy a pair of jumper cables in. I was asking people outside of casinos and hotels where I could buy some jumper cables and they looked at me like I was crazy--understandably so. After walking nearly a mile on the strip like a hammered idiot, two girls pulled over and asked me--"Oh my God, are you Matt Hardy? Can we have your autograph?" I looked at them like a possessed person and said "Yes. If you drive me to Wal-Mart so I can get jumper cables." They said sure, and I piled in their car and we rolled into Wal-Mart. I got jumper cables, and they took me back to my car. When we pulled back up, Amy was still laying in the back seat with all the car doors open. I remember those girls curiously asked me "Is that Lita?" I said "Yeah, but she not having a very good day--probably best not to bother her", HA! We got the rental car cranked, and I paid one of the girls 50 bucks to drive us to the airport. We had to stop at our hotel and get our bags, which barely gave us enough time to make our flight. Amy and I just made the flight.
When we landed in Fresno, we had Jeff drive us straight to the building and we both went to sleep. Jeff and I had a tag match, and I had pretty much kicked out at this point, so I made it through just fine. Amy was feeling it though. She had a singles match that night, and I know she was hurting. But Amy was a warrior, she wrestled like a million bucks that night. In a funny moment, I remember the WWE official for the show, Jack Lanza, walked to the ring during Amy's match. He pantomimed to her throwing up in Tom Jones's top-hat. Dreamer had told enough people about the exaggerated top-hat story that they joked with Amy about it for a little bit. It was a hell of a night that definitely made for some funny and unforgettable memories. Amy and I both took a little while off from drinking after our Vegas experience. The END.
I hope everyone enjoyed this "Drunken Adventures" blog. If you did, they'll be more to come. If not, we'll scratch the idea. I also wanted to thank all of you for congratulating me on my big win on Smackdown. Wrestlemania, Money in the Bank--here I come! Friday was an amazing day for me--something I've been waiting on for a long time finally happened. It was extremely rewarding to know my patience and perseverance paid off. Thanks for hanging in there with me A, it wouldn't have happened without you. Life is great! Godspeed my cyberamigos!
Quote of the day - "I have wished for so long, how I wish for you today" - Pearl Jam, Long Road
Matt
from matt hardys my space
