Best Chain Letter Ever

Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin.

I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not sending out 50 billion forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with lung cancer brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of her for use on their child pornography web site will get 6 cents every time you send me the letter.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How fuckin stupid are you?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog! What a bunch of fucking bullshyt.

So basically, this message is a huge GET A FUCKIN LIFE to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid dumbass chain mail forwards.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. WOOHOO!

Yeah right.... If you're going to forward something, at least send something amusing. (Like the haha letter... oops, who said that?)

I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. BULLSHYT! SO NOT HAPPENIN!

I REALLY DONT FUCKING CARE!

Show sum intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards.

Chances are it's your own fucking dumbass luck.

P.S. Please forward this to at least 70 of your best friends! :rolleyes: