Guide To Performance Appraisals

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS
Able to bullshit

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Spends a lot of time on the phone

AVERAGE EMPLOYEE
Not too bright

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED
Made no major blunders yet

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY
Too ugly to get a date

ACTIVE SOCIALLY
Drinks a lot

FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY
Spouse drinks, too

INDEPENDENT WORKER
Nobody knows what he/she does

QUICK THINKING
Offers plausible excuses

CAREFUL THINKER
Wont make a decision

AGGRESSIVE
Obnoxious

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS
Gets someone else to do it

EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL
Speaks English

METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL
A nit picker

HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES
Is tall or has a loud voice

EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT
Lucky

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR
Knows a lot of dirty jokes

CAREER MINDED
Back Stabber

LOYAL
Can't get a job anywhere else