https://i.ibb.co/XxXFg26/coollogo-com-20717383.png
Live On PPV, Live from San Juan, Puerto Rico
https://i.ibb.co/ZhvW0D4/ultimate-sa...list-1-111.jpg
CARD
Welcome everybody to another EAM PPV…SWIMMING WITH THE SHARKS 11!. It feels like we just had a PPV yesterday but we mustn’t mess around as we are getting closer and closer to Grandslam. So let’s get straight to the action. We get the fireworks, music video and introduc…OH NO…WHAT IS THIS…IT’S HIM. HE’S HERE!. That’s MJF and he’s inside a…I’ve seen it all now!. A fucking POPEMOBILE. MJF HAS ARRIVED IN A POPEMOBILE. Is he that scared of Brock. Cornette, Charlotte, Stevens, Cardona and Green are with him but not inside. Some are hanging off the side and some driving. This is pathetic. This is our world champion!?. Good luck tonight. MJF is sitting down with the title around his waist. Even he looks embarrassed but it is a smart idea.
All of a sudden we go to the other side of the arena where Brock and Heyman have arrived. Brock screams WOOOO tonight’s gonna be a good night baby!. I’m going to Grandslam!. Heyman then buries MJF and crew before saying that he doesn’t care that MJF is a fellow Jew because he’s the BEAR JEW AND HE’S WITH THE SOON TO BE REIGNING AND DEFENDING UNDISPUTED EAM WORLD CHAMPION AND THAT ISN’T A PREDICTION…THAT IS A SPOILER ALERT!. Strong words and opening to the show. Guess Heyman watched Inglorious Basterds over the weekend. We cut to the arena and ring for our first match.
Tag Team Matchup
AJ Styles & Triple C Vs Carlito " Caribbean " Cool & ‘Jesus’ Aaron Aguilera
Our first match is about to start with Carlito cutting a promo walking down to the ring and introducing his partner. He spits in the face of a fan at ringside as well. Styles and Cesaro enter and here we go. Back and forth match from both teams. Signature, finishing moves also. Can you top this moves outside the ring. Styles is finally back after all those months. Cesaro with an uppercut, Cesaro swing. Cesaro has been kind of on the downfall over the past few months. Jesus with a Razor’s Edge while Carlito nails a backstabber but it’s not enough for the win. Styles with a Styles Clash while Cesaro looks great here. Recoil Bomb and a Neutraliser to Jesus...cover...1...2...3!. Cesaro gets the pin!. AJ and Cesaro celebrate after the match before walking backstage.
We see a backstage promo with AJ/Cesaro looking great and happy together again. They’ve had problems but the tour really helped them out. They say they don’t know what’s planned for them in the future be it singles or tag titles (slightly teasing a tag title run). All of a sudden Brock Lesnar comes storming in between AJ and Cesaro still looking for MJF. Brock makes a joke saying move out the way curtain jerkers!. Brock walks off while Cesaro is about to get in his face but AJ pulls him away.
Triple Threat Matchup For The Pride Championship
Aaron Stevens (c) Vs Sammy Guevara Vs Shane Mercer
First title match of the night is up next as Stevens defends his title. Out come Shane and Sammy who get solid ovations. Out last is Stevens looking over his shoulder trying to avoid Brock it seems. Bell rings and here we go. Back and forth action from all men. Stevens tries to hide under the ring and around it even in the crowd. He’s the downfall of Pride. Sammy uses a springboard 450 and 630 but it’s not enough for the win as Mercer uses his size and strength. Mercer with a military press moonsault to both men and a fallaway powerslam. He looks for the finish but Stevens covers him for a 2. Not enough as the match goes on. Mercer climbs the top rope with Sammy and Stevens as they fight it out on the top rope. Mercer nails an Air Raid Crash to Sammy!. Mercer comes back up looking for a superplex off the top as Stevens knocks Mercer to the outside floor. Stevens looking for a dive of some kind...WAIT...THAT’S BROCK’S MUSIC. BROCK IS HERE?. STEVENS LOOKS TERRIFIED AS BROCK’S MUSIC PLAYS THEN STOPS. STEVENS FALLS OFF THE TOP ROPE BACKWARDS ONTO SAMMY IN THE RING...THERE’S NO BROCK IT WAS A TROLL HAHAHA...STEVENS ACCIDENTALLY PINS SAMMY...1...2...3!. Haha he’s done it!. Brock’s music caused a distraction which leads to Stevens falling instead of jumping but he still won!. Not sure if Brock will care about that though. Stevens picks up the win but Mercer remains strong by not being pinned. Maybe a title match in the future. No idea what Stevens will do at Grandslam if he’s even there or what will happen with Pride. Stevens runs away holding his title close and being wary of Brock as we cut away.
EAM Tag Team Championships Matchup
Rey Fenix & Will Ospreay (c) Vs The Butcher & The Blade
Another match up here next. Butcher and Blade look pretty good throughout. Back and forth action from both teams. Some signature moves as well. Will with an Essex Destroyer while Fenix nails a Fenix splash. Some can you top this moves outside the ring. Double 450 combo also not enough. Butcher and Blade bomb for a close 2. As we near the end of the match Butcher looking for his finisher but Will with a pele kick. 630 SPLASH BY WILL AND A PACKAGED PILEDRIVER BY FENIX...COVER...1...2...3...DONE!. Rey and Will keep the titles. I wonder what’s next for them and if they are still champions by Grandslam then it would make sense if they wrestle on the Mexico show for Fenix even though Will is known for wrestling in Japan. Maybe even a ladder match!.
We go backstage where we see Brock looking for the mobile or as he calls it the jewmobile. He walks past APA drinking Puerto Rican beer and playing poker haha. He grabs a beer from the table then storms off. We then cut to the pope mobile with MJF and his stooges clearly being allowed into this country for the night and out of Mexico cutting a promo whilst in the mobile. We can barely understand what he’s talking about because of the walls. MJFmobile or MobileJF?. Who knows as we cut back to the ring for our next match.
Singles Matchup
Jade Cargill Vs Nikkita Lyons
Up next a big match with two new girls. Out comes both getting mixed reactions. Possibly the future of EAM. Maybe not the greatest idea having two new people fight each other but it’s booked now. They both looked good in the battle royal but Jade more so. The bell rings and here we go!. Look at this face down now wow. Test of strength which both women win, shoulder block and tackle but not enough. WAIT. THE LIGHTS ARE OFF. WHAT NOW?. Who is that. The lights come on red and sitting in the ring is Alexa!. She’s sitting between Jade and Nikkita on the mat!?. BAAAAM WHO IS THAT. FROM BEHIND. IT’S CHARLOTTE. SHE JUST LAID OUT BOTH JADE AND NIKKITA!. Fans are booing. The lights come back on as Alexa smiles but Charlotte also tries to hit her!. The referee says that this match has been a no contest which fans boo. Charlotte leaves celebrating this. Fuck tEAM!. All of a sudden the referee reaches over hearing an announcement that this match isn’t going to end like that and it will be restarted as a tag team match playa!. Haha because Charlotte and Alexa interfered they will be forced to wrestle as a team and Nikkita and Jade will be on the other side!. Charlotte is not happy about this while the bell rings. Jade and Nikkita stand behind Alexa and BAAAM A DOUBLE CHOKESLAM. Charlotte runs into the ring and tries to smack them with her title for a DQ but it gets stopped. Nikkita military presses Charlotte to the ground while Jade does the same to Alexa!. The old girls being taught a lesson by the new girls!. The dominance continues for the next couple of minutes as Charlotte manages to escape Nikkita’s finisher and roll out the ring with her title leaving Alexa all alone. BAAAAM JADED TO ALEXA BLISS FOLLOWED BY THE LEG SPLIT PIN. NIKKITA AND JADE BOTH COVER ALEXA AS CHARLOTTE WATCHES ON FROM THE RAMPWAY!...1...2...3!. Jade and Nikkita double pin Alexa. Charlotte got away just in time. Both of them do the belt gesture while staring at each other. This is a match for a future day, we cut away.
EAM Womens Tag Team Championships Matchup
Tha Braid 'N Tha Boss (Bianca & Sasha) (c) Vs Samoan Scotch (Nia Jax & Piper Niven)
What a show it has been so let’s continue it on with a big title match. Out come the newly former SS getting a mixed reaction while BNB get a big ovation. They said they want to make it to Grandslam as champions but can they?. Going to be the toughest challenge yet. Back and forth match from both teams. Jax and Niven dominate at first using their big styles. They weren’t doing much as single wrestlers so they’ve come together. Niven and Jax with a double senton for a 2. Bianca comes back with a big leg lariat and axe kick. KOD TO NIVEN FOR A 2. Sasha with a Banks Statement but can’t get it on Jax who just backbreakers her. Jax with a military press to Sasha and Bianca military presses Niven into Jax!. Bianca then presses Jax somehow wow!. Bianca with a moonsault and nails a 450 right after that. They taking control and looking to finish this match. BANKS STATEMENT TO JAX AND NIVEN AT THE SAME TIME. IT’S ALL OVER BUT JAX AND NIVEN POWER OUT AND PICK HER UP. A HUGE SWINGING THROW INTO THE AIR. Bianca comes back with her hair whips to all girls!. Taking Jax out of the ring. She stands in front of Niven looking for another hair whip as she winds it up but at the exact same time Sasha Banks stands up...WAIT...NO.....BAAAAAAAAAAM BIANCA WHIPS HER HAIR INTO NIVEN WHO MOVES OUT THE WAY AND IT HITS SASHA INSTEAD. HOLY SHIT. JAX PULLS BIANCA OUT OF THE RING BY HER HAIR AS NIVEN WAITS BEHIND SASHA. BAAAAAM NIVEN NAILS A GIANT CROSSBODY SPLASH AND RUNNING BACK SENTON...COVER...1...NO...2...3!!!. They fucking did it!. Holy shit can you believe it. We have new tag champions and so close to Grandslam. Huge disappointment for Boss and Braid. The hair was the problem. Niven and Jax celebrate their win and I’m not sure anyone is gonna be able to beat them!. Incredible performance by them however look at this now. Back in the ring Bianca is apologising to Sasha. She’s not happy obviously. She tries to explain but Sasha isn’t having any of it. Calm down girls you might get a rematch. Sasha hugs Bianca and shakes her han...BANKS STATEMENT. HOLY SHIT. SASHA JUST LAID OUT BIANCA. What the hell!?. You stupid bitch and your stupid hair!. Sasha starts whipping Bianca with her own hair. This is the old ferocious Sasha that nobody messes with. Sasha stands over Bianca’s body as we cut away. What a moment.
Singles Matchup
Matthew Riddle Vs HOOK w/Taz
Riddle comes down to the ring as HOOK makes his presence known!. What is he gonna do tonight. Taz of course gets on commentary putting HOOK over. The bell rings and here we go!. SUPLEX AND A T-BONE SUPLEX BY HOOK. HEAD AND ARM SUPLEX. THAT’S HOOK RIGHT THERE!. The cold hearted handsome devil is looking for a quick finish. The FTW Champion looks for the submission but Riddle reverses it with a kick and drop kick. It’s not enough to keep HOOK down though who kips up and locks on the REDRUM SUBMISSION...RIDDLE TAPS OUT. HOOK gets the win as Taz joins him in the ring and grabs a microphone. Action Bronson rings out as Taz says...THAT’S HOOK RIGHT THERE. THE FTW CHAMPION AND I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE. HOOK DECLARES FOR THE SLOBBERKNOCKER!. Haha what!. Taz has just announced that HOOK will be in the Slobberknocker wow!. First man to be announced I believe. Taz throws the microphone down as they walk to the back.
Pride Tag Team Championships Matchup
Heavy Machinery (Otis & Tucker) (c) Vs The Steiner Brothers (Scott & Rick)
Title match up next. Steiners make their entrance getting a solid reaction. Actually shocking to see this. As they walk around the ring we see who is this?. Oh that’s Rex Steiner!. We’ve seen him before remember. I guess he’s here to watch his father. That’s nice. Out next come Heavy getting a solid ovation and there’s really not much else to say about these two men. They aren’t the greatest wrestling team of all time but nobody has been able to beat them. Bell rings and here we go. Back and forth from both sides. No idea what they are gonna do at Grandslam if they’re still champions. Some powerful moves from both. Not the best technical match obviously. Frankensteiner and a doomsday device but not enough for the win. At the end of the match it is a moonsault from Tucker, caterpillar from Otis and a Tractor Trailer that gets the 1...2...3...it’s over!. Heavy do it again. They celebrate their win as Steiners left in the ring not happy with each other. We don’t need more turns tonight!. Wait what is this. Rex ‘Bron’ Steiner has jumped the barricade and is separating his father and Scott Steiner from each other!. They seemingly listen to him thankfully. We get a thank you Steiners as we cut away.
We go backstage where we see Mickie and Ronda talking. Things are heating up between them recently. Mickie is getting ready for her match up next as Ronda follows and Mickie tells her I want to do this on my own. Ronda looks shocked but understands. Mickie walks off leaving Ronda looking slightly annoyed.
We cut back to the arena where it is revealed that the Slobberknocker PPV will return next month and there will be a very special guest. Mila Kunis and that she will be at ringside during the PPV!. Rumor has it that That 70's Show Star; Mila Kunis is to star in EAM Promotions first ever motion picture " The Valet ". Ryan Reynolds is also rumored to play the male role in the movie. We are then told that EAM is working on its very first movie. The Valet will be shot in "Sin City" Art-Noir style, and portrays a young woman's fascination of pro wrestling, and especially one certain wrestler. And she is willing to do everthing to get him, and get him to the top in the process. We hope to give you more updates in the coming weeks and months. Hopefully it will be out around the same time as Grandslam and award season!. We cut back to the ring.
EAM Center of Attention Championship Matchup
Bayley (c) Vs Mickie James
Another huge match up next. Mickie has had an up and down year but wants to have a better fourth quarter of the year. HARDCORE COUNTRY. Mickie comes out getting a huge ovation of course. It’s interesting that Ronda and Mickie always use Mickie’s theme song for the entrance. It should be noted that we have some breaking news that Mike and Maria will take on Marty and Martina at Slobberknocker where the winners will get a #1 contenders mixed tag team title match at Night of the Slammies wow!. Match set for Slobberknocker already. Bayley makes her entrance getting boos but she doesn’t care. She would also make a perfect choice for MJF’s faction of fuccbois!. Can’t have too many though. The bell rings and here we go. Bayley rolls straight out of the ring of course. Ronda is not with Mickie tonight hopefully they are all good. SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH THE ROPES BY MICKIE TAKING OUT BAYLEY!. What a way to open. Mickie throws her around the outside and into the barricade and steps. Bayley crawls into the ring and Mickie comes right back in...BAYLEY TO BAYLEY. HOLY SHIT. OUT OF NOWHERE...COVER...1...2...NO THAT WAS CLOSE. SHEESH. Mickie got this chance after winning the battle royal of course. Bayley has already said that she’s planning on going into Grandslam as champion and has challenged the Stardom and AAA Women’s champion on social media in the past few days. She wants to win as many titles as possible. The problem with that though is that it would mean less title matches for everybody else at Grandslam. Bayley continues to dominate Mickie with takedowns and throws. Bayley of course has been burying Mickie over the past few weeks. Calling her old, washed up and privileged...MICK KICK OUT OF NOWHERE...COVER...1...2...NO BAYLEY KICKS OUT. Mickie looks for the Mickiefaction but Bayiey turns it into a Blue Thunder Driver for a 2. Bayley with a headlock driver and a northern lights for 2 as well. Bayley looks for another belly to...BELLY TO BELLY BY MICKIE. SHE DID HER MOVE...1...2...NO BAYLEY MAKES THE ROPES. BAYLEY ROLLS ONTO THE APRON AND BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES MICKIE OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING WOW. Both girls hurt but they get in by 9. GANSO BOMB TO MICKIE...SHE ROLLS THROUGH...1...2...BAYLEY ROLLS HER OVER...1...2...NO...1...2...BACK AND FORTH. Mickie pops up...SPINNING MICK KICK AND SHES DOWN...1...2...Bayley again kicks out. I don’t think she’s been pinned in months. LOU THESZ PRESS OFF THE TOP ROPE TO BAYLEY AND SHE FIRES UP. SHE’S LOOKING FOR A SECOND ONE....WAIT...BAYLEY GOES UP WITH HER.....BAAAAAAM BAYLEY TO BELLY OFF THE SECOND ROPE. HOLY SHIT. IT’S ALL OVER...COVER.....1.....2.....MICKIE KICKS OUT!?.
Hardcore chant now as Bayley is getting pissed. She slaps her around insulting her and pulling at her hair...MICKIE SLAPS HER BACK. MICKIE-D...NO BAYLEY REVERSES THAT. THIS IS IT IT...SHE’S GOING FOR IT...NOBODY HAS KICKED OUT OF IT YET...THE GANSO BOMB....WAAAH RIGHT ON THE NECK. IT’S ALL OVER FINALLY.......1........2......SHE KICKS OUT AGAIN!. What the fuck is happening. Bayley looks for another Ganso but Mickie leapfrogs over her hitting the ropes...BAAAM STEP UP MICKIE CUTTER. HER VERSION OF THE ACE CUTTER...COVER...1...2...NO!!!. It doesn’t end!. What a match and this is awesome chants from the crowd. Mickie looks for the finish but Bayley spears her into the corner, sits her on the top rope and looks for something...BAYLEY IS NO.....DON’T DO THIS.....NO....THE GANSO BOMB OFF THE TOP FUCKING ROPE!?. WAAAAAAAAH...NO...WAIT...MICKIE REVERSES IT IN MID AIR.....BAAAAAAM MICKIE-DT. WHAT A REVERSAL. SOMEONE CALL 911!. Has she ever done that before. She wants to go to Grandslam as champion. If she’s not champion then she might not even wrestle!.....COVER....COME ON......1.....CAN SHE.....2.....3.....HARDCORE COUNTRY!!!. SHE DID IT HAHA!. Mickie defeats Bayley!. Fans are chanting holy shit and this is awesome. Mickie actually did it!. It looks like she’s going to Grandslam after all and with a title. Bayley is not happy. SHE ATTACKS MICKIE FROM BEHIND AS SHE’S CELEBRATING HER WIN!. Boooo you lost!. You still have more titles!. WAIT...YES...RONDA IS HERE. She makes the save taking out Bayley!. Ronda throws Bayley out of the ring and picks up Mickie’s title.
Mickie thanks her as Ronda smiles as Mickie then gives her the titl...WHAT. NO!!!. RONDA JUST LAID OUT MICKIE. WHAT THE FUCK. RONDA JUST LAID OUT MICKIE WITH THE TITLE. WHY!?. We didn’t think the problems were that bad. Ronda goes crazy on Mickie nailing an Olympic Slam before the Armbreaker. Ronda finally lets go and starts shouting at Mickie saying: THIS IS MINE. THIS WAS ALL MINE!. WHAT AM I NOW!?. YOUR LACKY, YOUR TEAMMATE!?, WE EVEN USE YOUR THEME, WHAT ABOUT ME MICKIE!?. Remember my debut!?. When I destroyed you at Grandslam!?. What am I now!?. Just your bitch?. You eliminated me last month and wanted me to do nothing about it!?. You won’t even let me come to the ring with you because why!?. We all know why!. It’s all about you!. It always is about you but not anymore!. The old me, the old Ronda is back!. No more bullshit, no more tag team or tag title crap!. ROWDY IS BACK!. Ronda is getting booed right now. She completely ruined Mickie’s celebration!. WELL HOW ABOUT THIS MICKIE. YOU WANT TITLES?, YOU WANT BIG MATCHES?. HAHA OKAY. I’LL GIVE YOU A BIG MATCH!. Ronda stands up holding the COA title and starts looking into the crowd and then uh oh...points at the Grandslam sign!. ME VS YOU. MICKIE VS RONDA II. FOR YOUR TITLE. AT GRANDSLAM!!!. I’LL BURY YOU JUST LIKE I DID THE FIRST TIME!!!. TWICE IN A LIFETIME BITCH!. Ronda throws Mickie’s title down at her. HOLY SHIT!. What a challenge made by Ronda!. Twice in a lifetime!?. The rematch we’ve been wanting for years?. Could it actually happen?. That’s main event worthy!. We cut away with Ronda standing over the body of Mickie pointing at the Grandslam sign.
We go backstage for the final time tonight where we see Brock still lookin...THERE IT IS. BROCK SEES IT. BROCK CHASES AFTER THE POPE MOBILE AS IT DRIVES AWAY. WAAAAAH HOLY FUCK. BROCK JUST JUMPED ON THE BACK OF IT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. BROCK IS TRYING TO GET IN. BAAAM STEVENS IS KNOCKED DOWN, CARDONA IS KNOCKED OFF THE MOBILE AS WELL. CORNETTE IS DRIVING. BROCK TRIES TO REACH INTO THE WINDOW AND GRAB CORNETTE BY THE THROAT. GREEN AND CHARLOTTE NAIL BROCK WITH TITLE BELTS!. This causes Brock to fall off the mobile!. The mobile speeds away as Brock just stands up and starts laughing. He walks over to Stevens and Cardona and is looking for an F-5!!!. Haha yes...WAIT...THE MOBILE HAS TURNED BACK AROUND. WE SEE THE HEADLIGHTS IN THE DISTANCE. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING. WE HEAR MJF SHOUTING DO IT JIM!. NO...BROCK TURNS AROUND AND SEES THIS...NO....AAAAAAAAAAH CORNETTE DRIVES THE MOBILE INTO BROCK. HOLY FUCK. CORNETTE JUST RAN OVER BROCK. HIS BODY HITS THE WINDSHIELD CRACKING IT. OH FUCK THIS IS BAD. Cornette stops, gets out and looks at Brock concerned while MJF tells Jim to get the fuck back in now and drive off!. We leave this scene with Brock laid out looking like Austin in ‘99 as Cornette drives MJF away. Heyman checks on Brock. My god. Brock may not be able to compete tonight...
Elimination Chamber Matchup For The Ornate Prime Championship
WALTER (c) Vs John Cena Vs Shawn Michaels Vs Bobby Lashley Vs Keith Lee Vs Killer Kross
Big match here for the Ornate title. All men come down to the ring with Shawn and Cena starting. WALTER enters last and waits in the chamber. He’s beating all these men I’m pretty sure but now he’s gonna have to write and beat them all. Even if he loses this he still has other titles. Bell rings and here we go. Five minutes each entrant. Superkick and an AA not enough for the win. Shawn nails an elbow off the top of the chamber for a 2 but Super Cena fights back and manages to nail an AA off the second rope as the first entrant comes in…3…2…1…EEEH…LASHLEY!. Bobby comes in and takes both men down with spears. He locks in the full nelson also…3…2…1…KILLER KROSS IS HERE. Kross and Lashley fight it out with a powerbomb outside the ring on the hard steel. Not much else happens before…3…2…1…KEITH LEE!. He beats the crap out of everybody. Military presses Cena over the top rope into the chain link fence. He nails the Spirit Bomb from the second rope outside onto the steel grate to Shawn. Kross and Lee meet in the ring for a back and forth as Lee takes Kross to the top rope but then to the top of the chamber?. Kross reverses it…what is he doing…KROSS FIRE ON TOP OF THE CHAMBER POD. THE BRAINBUSTAAAH TAKES LEE DOWN…3…2…1…EEEEEH OUR FINAL ENTRANT…THE MAN THEY CALL WALTER. Here he comes!. All men are down in and out of the ring as WALTER stands behind Kross the only man standing…BAAAM CHOP, BACK SLAP. WALTER BOMB…COVER…1…2…3…KROSS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. WALTER INSTANTLY TAKING CONTROL. WAAAH WALTER WITH A DIVE OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO LASHLEY AND THE GRATE. What now?. WALTER picks him up and throws him into the pod door…WHAT IS HE….BAAAAAAM SPEAR. WALTER SPEARS LASHLEY THROUGH A CHAMBER BULLETPROOF GLASS POD. Good lord. WALTER covers…1…2…3!. Lashley has been eliminated. Walter is dominant!. WALTER BIG BOOTS KEITH LEE THROUGH ANOTHER CHAMBER POD WALL. Walter enters the ring and goes right after Shawn…BAAAM SWEET CHIN MUSIC TO WALTER BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE HIM FALL…FROM BEHIND AA TO WALTER TAKES HIM DOWN!. Walter had that MOTY 5 star classic with Shawn last month and pretty much everyone else in this match. We don’t see this match that often. It’s a rarity. WALTER IS DOWN. Keith Lee nails a top rope FROGSPLASH…COVER…1…2…WALTER KICKS OUT. They’re working together.
WALTER is down as all three men go to each top rope looking for a triple dive but WALTER GETS UP IN TIME. HE ATTACKS EACH MAN ONE BY ONE PULLING THEIR LEG THROUGH THE TOP OF THE CHAMBER POD CROTCHING THEN. WALTER CLIMBS TO THE TOP OF THE CHAMBER WITH KEITH LEE...NO…BAAAAAAAM WALTER BOMB OFF THE TOP OF THE FUCKING CHAMBER POD…COVER…1…2…3…LEE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. Walter goes right after Cena who fights him off. Cena turns it over looking for an AA from the top of the chamber but WALTER reverses it…WHAT NOW…..BAAAAM BURNING HAMMER OFF THE CHAMBER POD TO CENA…HE’S GOTTA BE DEAD…1…2…3!. Another elimination for Walter as Cena has been eliminated. We are down to two!. A rematch if you will. Shawn vs WALTER. Shawn is up on top of the chamber and is now climbing through a hole in the top!?. Walter follows but Shawn kicks him off. Shawn is out!. Shawn is on top of the chamber while Walter is standing on top of the chamber. WALTER CLIMBS ON TOP. They’ve made a hole in the chain links now. A hole that fits both men through. WAIT. WALTER GRABS THE THROAT OF SHAWN. WHAT IS HE DOING. WALTER LIFTS SHAWN UP INTO A MILITARY PRESS WHILST STANDING ON TOP OF THE CHAMBER. WHAT A MOMENT. WHAT IS HE DOING…BAAAAAAAAAAAAM WAAAAAAH WALTER THROWS SHAWN THROUGH THE CHAMBER TOP, INTO THE HOLE AND RIGHT THROUGH THE TOP OF THE FUCKING CHAMBER POD!!!. He might be dead. Shawn is upside down inside of one of the chamber pods after being thrown through the chamber top and pod!. There’s a hole in the chamber pod top!. Chains are swinging and hanging down!. Holy shit and this is awesome chants from the fans. WALTER comes down from the top of the chamber and tries to reach Shawn in the chamber pod which is closed. This only pisses WALTER off more…BAAAAAM CHOP. WALTER JUST CHOPPED THE FUCKING CHAMBER DOOR AND SMASHED IT TO PIECES!. Who the fuck is this guy?.
We’ve never seen someone like this before!. Walter grabs Shawn and throws him into the ring. Shawn on his knees in trouble now…LOW BLOW FROM SHAW…NO WALTER GRABBED HIS ARM IN TIME BLOCKING IT. WALTER SAYS NO NO NO. STANDS SHAWN UP…SPINNING ROARING LARIAT TURNS SHAWN INSIDE OUT…COVER…1…2…3…DONE!. Holy shit!. Complete and utter dominance. Walter eliminated everybody!. This is scary. Every month he gets better and better. When he retires he’ll probably have the most 5 star matches in history. WALTER stands up, puts his arms behind his back as the titles are placed around him. He now looks like he’s about to say something. He doesn’t even need a mic he’s so loud. He shouts: THE RING IS SACRED. He then looks dead eye into the camera and shouts…..Sabberklopfer!!!…Sabberklopfer!!!…SABBERK LOPFER!!!. What the hell does that mean?. Wait…hold on…that’s…SLOBBERKNOCKER IN GERMAN!. Are you kidding me!?. WALTER just declared for the Slobberknocker!. Huge news. You can’t have a match like Slobberknocker without WALTER. So now we know that WALTER and HOOK are the first entrants in the Slobberknocker and who the hell is gonna say no WALTER!. He’s gained a few fans tonight that’s for sure. He celebrates his win as he leaves the chamber and carnage behind. We cut away.
EAM World Heavyweight Championship Matchup
MJF (c) Vs Brock Lesnar
Main event time here now. We’re not sure it is going to even happen. Out comes MJF in the popemobile with the crew entering the ring. MJF climbs out the side. The first time he’s been outside the box all night. Probably smells of farts. MJF enters the ring with Cornette cutting a promo. Ring the bell and start the count. This isn’t right. The referee does it and here we go. 1…2…is Brock here?…3…4…5…uh oh…no Brock…6…7…8…WAIT. That’s Heyman!. Paul comes down to the ring and he’s pissed off. He enters the ring facing off with Cornette who mocks him. BAAAAM HEYMAN SMACKS CORNETTE ACROSS THE FACE. CAT FIGHT KIND OF BETWEEN CORNETTE AND HEYMAN HAHA. HEYMAN TAKES OUT CORNETTE AND GOES FACE TO FACE WITH MJF!?. He takes off his jacket are you kidding me!?. Heyman vs MJF!?. Jew vs Jew!?. Fans chant holy shit and this is awesome while MJF laughs his ass off. Here we go!!!. Heyman vs MJF…WAIT…MUSIC…HE’S HERE!. BROCK IS HERE. Brock comes out to the ring holding his arm…BAAAM LESNAR PUSHES DOWN STEVENS THEN CARDONA AND GREEN!. Then Charlotte and Cornette. HE SPRINGS OVER THE TOP ROPE. MJF IS SHOCKED AS HEYMAN LAUGHS AND SENDS BROCK AFTER MJF. HE RUNS OUT OF THE RING HAHA. MJF SPRINTS AROUND THE RING RUNNING AWAY FROM BROCK AS HE JUMPS BACK IN THE POPEMOBILE AT RINGSIDE CLOSING THE DOOR. BROCK TRIES TO BREAK THROUGH BUT CAN’T. BROCK CLIMBS TO THE TOP OF THE POPEMOBILE. WHAT IS HE….WAAAH BROCK JUST PUNCHED THE TOP. HE BROKE IT. HE JUST BROKE THE TOP OF THE POPEMOBILE. HE REACHES IN TRYING TO GET MJF HAHA. Brock pulls MJF on top of the POPEMOBILE…FANS ARE GOING CRAZY. WHAT IS HE DOING NOW…NO…..WAAAH F-5 OFF THE TOP OF THE POPEMOBILE INTO TNE RING. GOOD FUCKING GOD. BROCK JUST F-5 MJF FROM THE TOP INTO THE RING!.
Brock fires up on top of the mobile raising his hands!. The match hasn’t even started yet!. Brock walks down the front of the windshield then bonnet, onto the ring apron and enters the ring!. The bell rings oooh god. Brock destroys MJF with Germans, slams and suplexes but he’s not going for that pin yet. He’s playing with his food. ANOTHER GERMAN AND ANOTHER. I think we’ve got a new champion. We could be looking at the guy who’s going to Grandslam as champion. Nobody thought MJF stood a chance and they were right. This is it…F-5…IT’S ALL OVER…WAIT…MJF KICKS THE REFEREE IN THE FACE EITHER ON ACCIDENT OR PURPOSE…COVER…THERE’S NO REFEREE. THAT’S A 5 COUNT!. Brock stands up and just picks the referee up by his pants. FROM BEHIND CORNETTE WITH THE RACKET. Brock turns around and just laughs. Brock snaps the racket in half which scares Cornette…BAAAM F-5 TO CORNETTE HAHA YES. NOW CHARLOTTE AND GREEN ARE CHOKING OUT BROCK BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER TO HIM. HAHAHA A DOUBLE GERMAN SUPLEX TO BOTH WOMEN!. This is awesome. Now look at this from behind Cardona with the Zack Attack and another!. Cardona is literally taking down Brock…but not for long. Cardona continues the beat down but Brock gets right back up. Brock’s the kind of guy that even if loses a match like last month he still looks great. F-5 TO CARDONA HAHA!. The ring is full of bodies…BAAAAAM LOWBLOW FROM MJF AND ANOTHER ONE AND A THIRD. BROCK LAUGHS IT OFF BUT BAAAM MJF NAILS HIM WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES HE ALWAYS HIDES IN HIS TRUNKS!. MJF looks for his finisher…SOUTH HAMPTONS PLUNGE HE GOT IT. HE’S NOT DONE…HE GOES TO THE TOP ROPE…SWANTON OFF THE TOP!…1…2…BROCK KICKED OUT HAHA!. The referee is still getting back into it. HEYMAN TRIES TO ATTCK FROM BEHIND BUT MJF LAYS HIM OUT. MJF NOW ATTACKS BROCK OVER AND OVER WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES BUT BROCK POWERS OUT OF IT…F-5…WAIT…MJF STARTS PUNCHING THE BAD ARM OF BROCK WHICH WAS HURT EARLIER BY THE POPEMOBILE WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES…MJF TURNS IT INTO A DDT!. The referee is finally up right after this happens.
Maybe MJF will get a referee on his tEAM next!. MJF then decides not to go for the cover. He then picks up Cornette’s body and puts it on top of Brock!?. Then Stevens, Charlotte, Green and Cardona!?. What the hell is he doing!?. MJF then sits on top!. NO NOT LIKE THIS. HE’S CREATED A DOGPILE. THE REFEREE COVERS…1…NOT LIKE THIS…2…BROCK IS TRYING TO KICK OUT BUT CAN’T…3!!!. Are you kidding me!!!. MJF JUST BEAT BROCK!. Damn it!. Another PPV ends in a cheap pathetic yet original way because of MJF!. Can’t believe this. MJF used his own stooges to get the win. Pretty clever even if you don’t like him you have to admit it!. What a shocker. He celebrates the win but oooh Brock is wriggling out!. MJF starts attacking Brock and so does everyone else who is waking up. They throw to the outside of the ring in this huge handicap beat down. Does that mean Stevens also technically holds a pin over Brock…hopefully not. Imagine the ego. They all work together to put Brock and Heyman inside the POPEMOBILE!?…WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW. MJF crowds and tells them something. Do it, do it!. MJF gets in the popemobile, turns it around and is facing the entrance ramp!. What the hell. EEEEEEEEE. MJF starts screeching the tires…NO…MJF DRIVES UP THE RAMPWAY, ONTO THE ENTRANCE WAY, JUMPS OUT OF THE CAR….NO……WAAAAAAAAAAAH HOLY FUCK RIGHT THROUGH THE FUCKING TITANTRON. HOLY FUCK. MJF MAY HAVE JUST KILLED BROCK AND HEYMAN. MJF JUST DROVE THE POPEMOBILE THROUGH THE FUCKING TRON. FIREWORKS, ELECTRICS AND EXPLOSIONS SOUND OUT. MJF jumped out in time. What a match and night!. Ladies and gentlemen we’ve got to go!. We’ll see you all at the Slobberknocker!. Who the hell are gonna stop Team E.A.M!?. They all stand on the entrance way holding their titles high as we finally fade to black.