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  1. #1
    Main Eventer LG's Avatar
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    Default Man Says Domino's Pizza Burned Him When He Had Sex With It: Company Responds

    Have you recently burned yourself having sex with a pizza? Was that pizza from Domino's? If so, you're in luck: the good folks behind the chain's Twitter feed will be happy to help you out. Just check out the incredible exchange below for proof:

    .@Dominos_UK HELLO I'VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.

    — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
    @NotArsedLike @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Please contact our head office - comments@dominos.co.uk regarding this matter.

    — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
    .@Dominos_UK DISGUSTING FOB OFF,YOUR STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA. WHY IS THIS NOT IN PLACE?

    — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
    @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.

    — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
    .@Dominos_UK I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED.

    — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
    @ITK_AGENT_VIGO As you have previously been advised, please email our head office about this

    — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
    .@Dominos_UK LOOK, I'VE TRIED EMAILING YOUR HEAD OFFICE WITH NO SUCCESS BUT NOW THE PIZZA WANTS TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB, PLEASE ADVISE.

    — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
    @indiantank @ITK_AGENT_VIGO It is definitely recommended, as that is not what is expected of our pizzas. We raised them better than that!


    — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
    It's worth noting that Domino's has a history of making unusually self-critical apologies -- though this is probably the first involving sexual congress with a pizza.

  2. #2
    DON'T GIE'A FUCK the madscotsman's Avatar
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    Brilliant.

  3. #3
    a.k.a 9 and a half toes! Jess's Avatar
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    poor lonely guy...


    ty LG

    ty Role Model

  4. #4
    Main Eventer LG's Avatar
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    This made me lol hard

  5. #5
    Legend In My Spare Time Role Model's Avatar
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    I knew they did this in movies, but in real life? Come on people need to snap out of it this is just wrong. This is as bad as an article I read similar to this with the guy having sex/relationship with his car.


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