Real things said in court

[Black Widow]

These are things that people actually said in court, word for word.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: How old is your son-the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.


Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.


Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"


Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?


Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.


Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.


Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.


Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.


Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?


Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?


Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?


Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?


Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?


Q: Did he kill you?


Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?


Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?


Q: How many times have you committed suicide?


Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.


Q: How many were boys?
A: None.


Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.


Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?


Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.


Q: And you took your new wife?


Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.


Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.


Q: Was this a male, or a female?


Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.


Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.


Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.


Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.


Q: Doctor, before you signed the death certificate, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.


Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.


Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.


Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you signed the certificate?
A: No.


Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. But now that you mention it, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

[JohnCenaFan28]

LMAO, thanks for this Ryan.

[The Major]

the first one is from hot fuzz.

[DUKE NUKEM]

lol thanks for this ryan

[Bad Boy]

lol, that's some stupid stuff...