Live on PPV from Hammerstein Ballroom, New York



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We are welcomed to this LIVE event by Brian and Nigel, as we find ourselves in Hammerstein Ballroom for this PPV event. It's been a while since EAM has hosted a PPV from their home arena, but the audience is buzzing to say the least, so there is no doubt this is gonna be a memorable PPV, despite a smaller venue. Brian and Nigel are brutally interrupted then as music cranks the arena speakers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-yYuG86JmQ . Out on the stage walks the mysterious and odd individual that we got to know a couple of weeks ago is named, or names himself at least " Danhausen " He makes his way down to the ring where he gestures for a microphone and one of the ring-crew guys hands him one. He cut's a promo, telling everyone how glad he is to be here etc. Then, he reminds everyone about what he promised, as he told them, he's got a friend with him that he wants to introduce everyone to. But he get's interrupted as music once again cranks the arena speakers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of1nr_83-ag . And out on the stage comes a skating Darby Allin. And he looks furious. Danhausen on the other hand takes it upon himself to introduce Allin, as he was the special friend he was talking about. Allin makes his way down the ramp and into the ring where he wastes no time, walking straight up to Danhausen, snatching the mic out of his hands, and yelling " WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?! " Allin then explains to everyone in attendance that this crazy individual has been keeping him locked up in a closet for.... Allin doesn't even know how many days it's been. Allin then demands someone from security to remove this sick individual, before Allin does something he's gonna regret. Again, music cranks the arena speakers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqrjON7UgPo . Out on the stage walks Jamboree General Manager, and EAM Hall Of Famer; Randal Keith Orton. He tells Allin to calm down, before explaining that he does not approve of Danhausen's actions. But he also knows the potential of a great match when he see's one. And since this is EAM Promotions, we will settle this the EAM Way. Inside the squared circle. Orton then makes it official, as this events Curtain Jerker will now be Darby Allin Vs Danhausen, and it will be competed under No DQ rules (as every other match on the card)

Singles Matchup
Darby Allin Vs Danhausen

Allin gets cheers while Dan more boos because of the smark mark crowd. Pretty basic match with some comedy that doesn’t make Allin happy before he pulls out the thumbtack and barbed wire skateboard. He does tricks and spots of it. Dan actually distracts Allin with a cape throw covering Allin in it before smacking him the skateboard. Allin fights back nailing a top rope dropkick with the skateboard. Allin looks for the finisher going to the top rope…COFFIN DROP TO DAN BUT HE MOVES OUT THE WAY SENDING HIMSELF THROUGH THE SKATEBOARD BREAKING IT…DAN WITH A CRUCIFIX PIN…COVER…1…2…3…HE GOT IT!. Wow big win and debut for Danhausen!. He celebrates his win before whisking off backstage but Allin attacks him from behind and into the crowd. He slams him on some chairs. He’s not happy about this!. Allin disappears as Dan wonders where he went…WAIT UP TOP LOOK AT THIS. ALLIN IS ON THE BALCONY…HE TURNS AROUND…WAAAAAAH COFFIN DROP OFF THE TOP OF THE BALCONY TAKING OUT DANHAUSEN AS FANS ALSO CATCH ALLIN IN THE PROCESS COMING DOWN!. They love him!. He manages to walk away as we cut away.

Brooklyn Street Fight
LAX (Santana & Ortiz) Vs Homicide & Eddie Kingston

The brawl starts on the stage. Back and forth by all men. They all have a lot of history. There’s a brawl into the crowd. Chairs are thrown, fans are knocked down. They go into the toilet!. Slamming the toilet doors on each other. Someone’s on the toilet taking a shit and Kingston shoves Ortiz’s head between the guys legs and gives him a swirly!. Holy shit chants from the crowd as Kingston gets thrown into a mirror then slammed onto and into a sink destroying it with water spraying everywhere. Homicide walks out of the bathroom looking for Santana…WAIT…AAAAAH…SANTANA DIVES OFF THE BALCONY A CLASSIC STAPLE OF THIS ARENA. They all eventually fight back to the ring as Ortiz pulls out a cheese grater while Homicide pulls out a stapler. Battle between both as they attack each other at the same time. Kingston pulls out a table laying it across the apron and barricade. Kingston pulls out another and slides it into the ring. Homicide with a cannonball into the corner. He sets it up in the corner…no what is he doing…COP KILLA THROUGH THE TABLE BUT IT DOESN’T BREAK. Another holy shit chant and what a fight this is. Homicide reaches into his pocket…what is that…THAT’S A SICKLE!!!. SHADES OF NEW JACK. HE STARTS CUTTING THE HEAD OF ORTIZ. Santana stops it as he pulls out a pizza cutter!. We are in New York after all. Now Kingston has the cheese grater attacking Santana. We have a human centipede!. Pizza cutter, cheese greater and a sickle!. LAX with a double low blow stopping it. Ortiz sets up the table in the corner putting Homicide on it as Santana puts Kingston on the apron near the table. They’re going for a double finisher ending. All men are busted wide open…WAIT…HOMICIDE GETS OFF THE TABLE IN TIME AND CLIMBS THE TOP ROPE…BAAAAAM SANTANA JUST SPEARED KINGSTON OFF THE APRON THROUGH THE ROPES SENDING HIM THROUGH THE TABLE. HOMICIDE TURNS ORTIZ AROUND ON THE TOP ROPE…NO WAIT…BAAAAAAAM COP KILLA OFF THE SECOND ROPE THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLE…GOOD GOD HE’S DEAD…COVER…1…2…3…IT’S OVER!!!. Homicide and Kingston have won this match!. What a crazy nostalgic classic style street fight match. They celebrate their win in the ring and who knows if this feud is over or it’s just begun. We cut away.

Hardcore Bra & Panties Matchup
Scarlett Bordeaux Vs Taya Valkyrie

Up next a first time ever match. Originally people thought they’d actually wrestle in barbed wire underwear but no. They are both in bra and panties though as Taya looks disgusted by doing this and Scarlett shows off. Back and forth match from both girls. Some boos from the crowd as well because they aren’t the best wrestlers. X Factor and a stink face from Scarlett. Taya exposes the outside concrete and slams Scarlett onto it. All of a sudden she goes under the ring and what the hell…BARBED WIRE UNDERWEAR AND BRA!. Haha it is real!. Taya tries to strip Scarlett in the ring and put the barbed wire on her instead!. Some sort of weird Jesus crown thorn fetish!. Scarlett fights it off. Scarlett puts the barbed wire panties on then stink faces Taya with them!. Cover for a 2. BAAAM KENDO STICK TO THE HEAD BY TAYA. Where did she get that from. It was inside the skirt of the apron!. Very clever!. She beats Scarlett down with it before locking in a cross face!. Taya in control now as she looks for a piledriver which is reversed. DDT by Scarlett. She fires up and puts on the barbed wire bra…what is she doing…MOTORBOAT. SCARLETT MOTORBOATS TAYA INTO HER OWN BARBED WIRE BRA TITTIES!. Another first for wrestling history. Both of these girls are “enhanced” so they should be careful. No idea where or if Kross and Morrison are. Scarlett with an X Factor sending Taya’s head into the barbed wire crotch!. Scarlett goes up top…SPLASH OFF THE TOP ROPE TO TAYA. THE BARBED WIRE LANDS ON TAYA…COVER…1…2…3 DONE!. Scarlett picks up the win!. After the match she takes off her real bra and panties throwing them into the crowd and replacing them with the barbed wire!. Kross better be careful tonight!.


We cut away backstage where we see Mick Foley getting ready for an interview. He’s with Noelle and Dewey wow. He speaks about showing his family around New York and Hammerstein. He puts over New York, Hammerstein and said he’s only had a couple of matches here but they were memorable and to win the world title in this building, on this night, in front of his family and at this show would be incredible. Maybe the best night of my life. He will be the one to finally shut MJF up. Anything can happen in EAM…BANG BAN…hahahaha seriously?. Oh no what is this. Look who it is. Sandow and Charlotte!. Why the hell are they here. Sandow buries Foley while Charlotte gets in Noelle’s face playing with her hair. Foley calls them a joke and that Sandow is killing the ratings and PRIDE. After tonight they will be a group of people without a world champion or leader!. I can be a nice guy but if you cross me then Miss’ Foley’s baby boy will come out to play!. Big pop for that one. Sandow says all we need is another one of Emil’s favorites as champion again…a 50 year old Grandma as champion…hell they might as well make Goldberg world champion and change the company to WWE or TNA!. Charlotte woos in Foley’s face as Mick comes back and ends it with…Charlotte you look like a man and Sandow…YOU COULDN’T GET LAID IN A WHORE HOUSE WITH A FIST FULL OF 50’S!!!. Fans go crazy for that one. CHARLOTTE SLAPS FOLEY BUT HE JUST LAUGHS THEN SLAPS HIMSELF…NOELLE SLAPS CHARLOTTE!!!. WAIT…THIS CAUSES A DISTRACTION AS SANDOW LOWBLOWS FOLEY THEN SPEARS HIM INTO A WALL!. Charlotte knocks down Dewey into Noelle as Charlotte is now attacking Noelle as Sandow takes down Foley throwing stuff at him. Pipes and chairs. People are trying to stop this as Charlotte locks in the figure eight on Noelle as she calls out for her Dad!. This is getting emotional and hard to watch!. Sandow busts open Foley then puts a chair over his neck!. NOOO. WE AREN’T EVEN GONNA HAVE A MAIN EVENT AFTER THIS. SANDOW WANTS TO RETIRE FOLEY NOW!. Maybe this was MJF’s idea!. BAAAAM SANDOW STOMPS ON THE CHAIR THEN SMASHES THE CHAIR SOME MORE INTO HIS HEAD. He teases that he’s gonna do the same to Dewey but backs off. Fans are booing as Charlotte and Sandow leave WOO’ing and strutting away while Foley coughs up blood and Noelle cries!. We may not even have a match tonight!. Foley might need a replacement!?. What a cruel but smart thing to do. We cut back to the ring.


Singles Matchup
Referee Bryce Remsburg is wrapped in barbwire
SHLAK Vs Masada

Fans are still reeling from what we just saw but it’s time for this fight. Neither of these guys are the best wrestlers so it’s gonna be hit each other with shit match. Shlak is a known Neo-Nazi with a Lucha Libre alter ego El Shlako but nobody cares or gives a damn!. This is another first time match as poor Bryce the referee is covered in barbed wire and has weapons attached to his body!. The bell rings and here we go!. Back and forth hard shots from both men, elbows, forearms and head butts. Slams and plexes. They then grab a hold of Bryce throwing him to each other like a hot potato!. Masada reaches into Bryce’s pockets and has a handful of tacks throwing them at Shlak before spitting them at him!. Suplex for a 2. Shlak with a headbutt then he grabs Bryce and full nelsons him and MASADA so the barbed wire is in MASADA’s back!. Very original and a first time ever. Bryce is wearing a face shield for some reason. Bryce actually asks MASADA if he wants to give up while still in the full nelson haha. Shlak then feels something hard in Bryce’s pants and reaches in!…LIGHTTUBE!. UH OH. I’M PRETTY SURE THEY’RE BANNED IN NEW YORK. CZW had a show that was shut down before of this!. New York even tried to ban UFC!. How the hell did Bryce even fit a lighttube in?. BAAAM OVER THE HEAD. SKLAK BITS THE REST. Bit of a tease for later on tonight. MASADA feels around Bryce and there’s a chair under his shirt attacked to his back!. HARD SHOOT CHAIR SHOTS BUT SHLAK NO SELLS AND SAYS FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER!. So MASADA turns the chair the other way round on the no no part and BAAAM CRACKS HIM OVER THE HEAD KNOCKING HIM DOWN…1…2…NO. SHLAK KICKS OUT. MASADA reaches into Bryce’s pockets and uh oh…SKEWERS. A MASADA FAVORITE. MASADA TRIES TO STAB SHLAK IN THE HEAD BUT HE REVERSES WITH AN ACTUAL WRESTLING MOVE. THE DROP TOE HOLD!. SOME OF THE SKEWERS GO INTO THE FACE, THROAT AND MOUTH OF MASADA HOLY SHIT. SHLAK GRABS THE REST OF THE SKEWERS AND STABS MASASA IN THE FUCKING HEAD. WAAAAAH. HOLY SHIT CHANTS. HE SHOVES ONE INTO MASADA’S EAR LOBE AND TWISTS IT!. HE GRABS A CHAIR AND BAAAAM BAAM SOMEONE CALL 911. OVER THE HEAD BEFORE MASADA COLLAPSES…COVER…1…2…3…DONE…THANK GOD!. Shlak gets the win and Bryce runs away just in case. He celebrates his win as we cut away.

Singles Matchup
Douglas O'Shea Vs King Haku

We continue on this amazing show with this bizarre match. Shea comes out cutting a promo and burying Haku as he makes his appearance in the Hammerstein Ballroom maybe for the first time ever walking to the ring all serious. He enters the ring and smacks the microphone out of Shea’s hand…BAAAM HEADBUTT BY HAKU TO SHEA LAYS HIM OUT…HAKU PUTS HIS FOOT ON TOP…1…2…3…IT’S OVER HAHA!. Haku simply leaves the ring but not before a smirk on his face.

LumberJack Matchup for The Center Of Attention Championship
The Fans Are The Lumberjacks
Bayley (c) Vs Piper Niven

One final match before a little intermission and a special segment before we kick off the second half of the show which promises to be crazy and maybe one of the most memorable couple of hours in EAM history!. The first half has been PG Disney!. Out comes Niven as the fans surround the ring. Niven is in the ring waiting but no Bayley!. She’s probably scared of the fans!. WAIT FROM BEHIND…UNDER THE RING IN A HOODIE…BAYLEY…ROLL UP…1…2…NO!. Haha clever idea but didn’t work. She tried to avoid the fans by dressing up as one of them, sliding under the ring before hand!. Niven stares her down and here we go!. She can’t escape the ring as Niven squashes her. Would be a big thing if she wins here. Niven with a bear hug and senton for a 2. She rolls out the ring and uh oh they start whipping her but it doesn’t seem to hurt her?. She gets back in the ring and Niven takes off her hoodie and she has metal armor on!. Haha clever idea. Niven rips it off her. This distracts Niven as Bayley takes control. Cravate/headlock driver. Cross legged submission also but she crawls outside. Nobody wants to attack her though and Bayley doesn’t wanna go outside. Bayley knocks her off the apron but the fans catch her haha. Bayley kicks the ropes as she comes in. Back drop suplex for a 2. Bayley starts to dominate while she looks for the finisher…BAYLEY TO BAYLEY SUPLEX…1…2…BUT ONE OF THE FANS PULLS NIVENS LEG OUT!. Never seen that before. Bayley not happy and kicks the fan but this causes a distraction. NIVEN WITH A BELLY TO BELLY OF HER OWN BEFORE PULLING HER TO THE CORNER…BANZAI DROP TO BAYLEY…WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION…1…SHE PUTS HER FOOT ON THE ROPES BUT A FAN KNOCKS IT OFF HAHA…2…SHE MANAGES TO KICK OUT. Could you imagine if a fan caused her to lose the title. The irony. Thinking about it, Bayley might work with t.E.A.M. Niven looks for another Banzai but Bayley goes underneath…WAIT NO…GANSO BOMB RIGHT ON NIVEN’S HEAD…GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY BUT SHE’S NOT DONE. She puts Niven on the second rope…BAYLEY TO BELLY TO SUPLEX FROM THE SECOND ROPE FOR GOOD MEASURE…1…2…3!. Bayley picks up the win, quickly grabs her title and walks to the back trying not to bother the fans but also mocking them at the same time as we cut away.

Special Segment
Super Humman is gonna do his most insane stunt to date


We are about to enter the second half of the show, with 4 big matches left for all of you fans, but first, the internet sensation, Super Humman is gonna perform his most insane stunt to date. And for those not familiar with Super Humman and what he does, he basicly put up videos of himself doing wrestling spots/bumps. Most commonly a elbow drop onto tables covered with everything from barbwire to cacti. But today, he's going to take things one step further. Tables have ben set on top of each other a the stage underneath the titantron. The tables are covered with the already mentioned barbwire and shit, as Super Humman makes himself ready. He cut's a small promo, mostly shameless self-promoting, before he climbs the titantron, making himself ready on top of it, when suddenly.... the titantron starts to flicker, and music suddenly cranks the Hammerstein Ballroom speakers, and what follows is maybe tonights biggest pop yet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT3dtoGK_jM . Sandman walks out on the stage with his vintage kendo stick, popping a beer before bashing it against his forhead. He then looks up on the titantron, pointing at Super Humman with the kendo stick before starting to climb it as well. Brian and Nigel are talking about the fact that Sandman looks pretty intoxicated on beer as he dizzily climbs the titantron. He doesn't fall however, and makes his way on top where he has a staring contest with Super Humman before handing a can of beer over to him. Super Humman takes it, and together they crack open the beers and drink from big cheers from the audience. Super Humman reallu enjoys the moment, as this was a surprise surely. But what follows might have been a whole other surprise entirely. As he's enjoing the beer, taking the focus off from Sandman a second, that second is enough for Sandman, intoxicated or not, to swing the kendo stick at Super Humman's face! As a matter of fact, almost everyone in the audience is as surprised as Super Humman, as a gasp goes trough the audience. Sandman gives zero fucks, as he smacks the kendo stick several times before he lifts Super Humman up, only to throw him off the titantron! And to quote Joey Styles' legendary words; " OH MY GOD!!!! " Super Humman crashes trough the tables below with great impact. EMT's rushes to the site, as he might be dead. Sandman on the other hand calmly takes up a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket, lights a cigaratte and takes a drag, posing with the kendo stick in the air as his music cranks the arena speakers once again. Things didn't go exactly as planned for Super Humman, but at least he can say that he did perform his most insane stunt yet. If he survived that is. We cut to a commercial for this seasons Supersplash show as EMT's helps Super Humman back up on his feet....

We go backstage where we hook up with MJF who is on the floor laughing at what happened to Foley earlier. He then gets serious cutting a promo on him and EAM. He says that Foley doesn’t stand a chance at all now!. He then holds his EAM Title up and finishes by saying…maybe after I win the match tonight…I’ll take this title to a Khan and drop it in the trash can!. He walks away as we cut back to the ring.

Singles Matchup
Sabu's Retirement Matchup
Sabu w/Bill Alfonso Vs Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman

Our next match has a melancholy feel over it, as this is Sabu's last match inside the squared circle. Some might think this encounter seems random, but Sabu himself actually said that his personal dream match would be to face Brock Lesnar. Brock on the other hand found the comment amusing, and responded to Sabu, telling him that he would be honored to end the career of The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Death–Defying Maniac. Because he was a bloody fool to challenge The Beast!

Lesnar gets into the ring first together with Paul Heyman offcourse. They do their usual sthtick, with Paulie talking trash, but also being a bit serious for a change, as Sabu was one of the originals in his ECW promotion. But just like ECW, everything must come to an end, and now, it's Sabu's turn! Then suddenly, we can hear the irritating whines of a whistle. Like the ones that referees uses at football games etc. Then....it is as if we stepped twenty years back in time, as out on the stage walks Bill Alfonso! And before him he's pushing a dolly, where Sabu is all shackled up in iron, and wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask. This gets one hell of a pop from the audience. Even Lesnar smiles and gives the whole situtation a small nod of approval. But when the bell rings, it's all business, and Lesnar wastes no time. But neither does Sabu. When the shackles are untied and the mask is removed, Sabu point up to the sky before leaping from the top rope. Lesnar catches him in mid air and delivers a powerbomb. He makes a quick cover, but Sabu kicks out at 1! He's not gonna give up that easily on his way out of the business. But the next attempt is stopped by Lesnar as well, who grabs a hold of Sabu and sends him backwards, sending him to Suplex City. This is forming to be a typical Lesnar squash match. It seems like the Legend Sabu was unwise to challenge Lesnar after all. Another Suplex by Lesnar. And another. And another. Lesnar picks Sabu up for the fatal finish, going for the F5. But Sabu manage to get out of Lesnars grips, he dropkicks Lesnar in the back, sending him to the ropes. Sabu slides out of the ring, quickly grabs a chair and slides back in. He makes a run for it, setting up for one of his vintage legdrops with a chair spots, but Lesnar counters him. With a devastating football block manouver he sends Sabu down on the canvas. Lesnar goes for the cover 1......2......No! Sabu Kicks out!.

Lesnar looking to end this once and for all with an F-5…WAIT A MINUTE WHO’S THAT…ON THE TOP BALCONY. OH MY GOD…NO WAY…ARE YOU KIDDING ME…IT’S ROB VAN DAM!!!. This causes the fans and Brock to be distracted…NO….WAAAAAAH RVD DIVES OFF THR TOP BALCONY INTO THE RING ON BROCK. HOLY FUCK. THAT HAD TO BE OVER 30 FOOT HIGH. RVD HAS SAVED SABU. They reunite in the ring and do the pose as Brock has crawled outside the ring. They’re working together. RVD goes under the ring sliding in a table while Sabu has set up a table up on the guard rail and ring apron. Sabu puts Brock on the table…RVD set up the chair…WAAAAAH SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP OVER THE TOP ROPE SENDING BROCK THROUGH THE TABLE. WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. Sabu rolls him back into the ring…IT’S OVER…NO WAY…THIS WOULD BE THE BIGGEST WIN IN SABU’S CAREER…COVER…1…2…NOOOO HEYMAN PULLS THE REF OUT!. BAAAAM HEYMAN HITS THE REFEREE WITH HIS OLD PHONE. Damn it!. Bill Alfonso chases after him into the ring as Heyman is stuck between RVD, Sabu and Alfonso!. CAT FIGHT BETWEEN ALFONSO AND HEYMAN HAHA…DOG FIGHT!?. This is awesome chants again as they roll out the ring. Sabu puts Brock in the corner as RVD climbs the ropes!?. Sabu puts a chair across his face!?. WAIT…YOU DON’T THINK…..WAAAAAAAAH VAN TERMINATOR TO BROCK LESNAR. HOLY SHIT. It was in this very building over 25 years ago that he created that move. What a way to go out and end their careers. The referee isn’t around though. Sabu and RVD work together and set up the table in the ring!. They lay Brock on top of it!. What now!?. They go to each side of the ring and climb the turnbuckles…RVD SHOUTS LETS SMOKE HIS ASS!!!. WHAT ARE THEY DOING…FUCK IT…WE ALL KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING…IT’S A CLASSIC…..WAAAAAAH LEG DROP FROM SABU AND A FIVE STAR FROGSPLASH FROM RVD AT THE SAME TIME SENDING BROCK THROUGH THE TABLE HAHA!. Nobody expected this!. Anything can happen in EAM!. Sabu makes the cover but no referee so RVD throws him into the ring…COVER…..1……NO WAY…..2….YES….HE KICKED OUT!!!. HE FUCKING KICKED OUT. HOW!?. Fans are booing but what can you do?. The referee is up telling RVD to get the hell out of the ring. Sabu sets up a chair and is looking for something. RVD is on the apron and once again Heyman gets involved grabbing the leg of RVD. ARABIAN MOONSAULT BY SABU BUT WAIT…BROCK IS UP. HE THROWS THE CHAIR AT RVD ON THE APRON KNOCKING HIM DOWN…SABU HAS NO IDEA…HE CAUGHT HIM!!!…BAAAAAM F-5!!!. BROCK TURNED THE MOONSAULT INTO AN F-5!…COVER…1…2…3…DONE!. An incredible ending to this match. Maybe match of the night!. Brock Lesnar stands up and is not happy. Think he took Sabu for granted. So close but just not enough. Brock leaves the ring but seemingly nods at RVD and Sabu showing some very rare respect. Brock picks up Heyman by the belt and carries him to the back like a bag!. We end up with Alfonso, Sabu and RVD in the ring standing up and getting cheered. Lot of emotion here. That was awesome, thank you Sabu, please don’t go and chants of ECW ECW ECW reign out. RVD reaches into his pocket and lights one up!. Is this even legal!?. He might be the first person to ever do this in a ring let alone an EAM ring. Sabu asks for a microphone!?. Has he ever talked before. The crowd go silent as he simply just says ‘Thank you!’. The crowd erupt as they celebrate and we cut away.

1000 Lightbulbs/tubes Deathmatch
Jon Moxley Vs Nick Gage

Both men come down to the ring with some epic entrances. Gage throws tubes over the top rope to the floor but Mox moves. Here we go. A long history between these two men. Back and forth tube shots over and over. Suplexes and slams into it. The ropes are laced in tubes also. Not much to this match apart from hitting each other with them. They fight out into the crowd and start climbing a balcony where we see tables and light tubes cabin but they change their mind and come back down as fans boo. They wanted a big bump!. Back in the ring with a choke breaker onto some tubes. Gage with a Vertebreaker onto chairs and lighttubes for a close 2. Mox comes back with a Hook and Ladder and Front Suplex onto bulbs for a 2 count. They smack each other’s heads of lightbulbs hanging from the ropes. Some of which are on. It’s a little sad that Foley isn’t the referee in this match though. Both men covered in blood. Some this is awesome and holy shit chants as Gage sets up what must be 150 plus tubes in the middle of the ring and takes Mox up top…Mox reverses it…NO…BAAAM DEATH RIDER DROP OFF THE TOP ROPE THROUGH DAMN NEAR 200 TUBES…COVER…1…2…3…DONE!. Moxley picks up the win. He celebrates his after the match.

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What a match we just saw between Gage and Moxley!. Both men covered in blood. We still have the giant double table lighttube log cabin in the audience that didn’t get used!. Gage and Mox go eye to eye…they hug and shake hands!. Wow what a moment. We get CZW chants over and over as they embrace…WAIT A MINUTE…WHO THE HELL IS THAT…THROUGH THE CROWD. HE’S HOLDING A SIGN!!!. He just jumped the barricade and ran into the ring. The sign says X P F’N W AND PROMOTING THEIR NEXT SHOW. IT’S ROB FUCKING BLACK!. Are you kidding me!!!…BAAAM HE LAYS OUT GAGE AND MOXLEY WITH THE SIGN BUT ITS NOT A REGULAR SIGN CLEARLY. It’s a road sign!. Rob Black is trying to hijack this show!. He tries to grab a mic saying XP FUCKING W IS BACK. WE ARE HERE. FUCK ECW AND FUCK CZW!. Huge heat for that. XPW is still alive!?. Black looks terrible. WAIT…WHO IS THAT…COMING DOWN TO THE RING…COULD IT BE…IT IS…THE MESSIAH!!!. HE’S BACK. I don’t think we’ve seen him since the match against Dreamer.

Holy shit chants as Rob looks like he’s just seen a ghost. He tries to escape through the fans but they keep blocking him in. He runs back into the ring and grabs some left over light tubes!. Messiah enters the ring and puts his thumb up!. He’s got a thumb!. He’s got a new steel titanium thumb haha!. He then puts his thumb down. BLACK TRIES TO HIT MESSIAH BUT HE MOVES OUT THE WAY. Black runs through the legs of Messiah and up the ramp way getting boos from the audience. Security won’t let him backstage!. Messiah runs out the ring and up the entrance way chasing after him. Black tries to run into the crowd but they are pushing and shoving him. He starts climbing the balcony trying to escape but Messiah follows. Now Rob is stuck between fans and Messiah. Black backs off begging him and apologising!. Uh oh…Messiah looks down and it’s the two table light tube log cabin below that Gage and Mox didn’t use. Haha do it!!!. Fans chanting YES YES YES. WAIT…WHO IS THAT NOW. THAT’S LIZZY BORDEN!. Where did she come from. Haha she looks even worse than Rob!. She’s below near the tables begging Messiah not to do it…Messiah looks around at the audience and this might be the first ever time he’s been in this building. He shoves his new thumb into the mouth of Black…NO….WAAAAAAAAH MESSIAH THROWS ROB BLACK OFF THE BALCONY THROUGH THE LIGHTTUBES AND TABLES!. Holy shit chants from the audience. Messiah exacts his revenge!. He celebrates with the fans as Rob is put on a stretcher and wheeled to the back with Lizzy holding his hand.

We go backstage and see Rob Black being wheeled out on a stretcher with Messiah looking on laughing. Lizzy goes over to Messiah and attempts to slap him but he grabs and kisses her!!!. He then blows her a kiss then walks away. She screams in anger as the interviewer walks up to her. She then goes crazy on the microphone saying I knew this wasn’t a good idea. I told Rob it wasn’t. I hate this state and the people in it and especially EAM!. Stupid people that watch this company and the owners are stupid also!. Stupid EAM!. Stupid Emil!. Stupid Micki…WOOOAAH. Standing behind Lizzy is…Mickie!. She’s here!. She’s here at HH!. What the hell did you just say about my husband, my company and me you little bitch?. Stupid huh…haha well we are in New York at the Hammerstein Ballroom and there is a ring and I’m feeling Hardcore and I’ve been working on a few new things that I’m dying to try out. So how about I bring some Hardcore Country to Hardcore Hangover!!!. The fans go crazy but Lizzy refuses. Then Mickie teases that maybe she should sue them for invading and tress passing her show and from the look of things it looks like you need all the money you can get right now and don’t need another lawsuit on your hands. So get your ass to the ring right now!!!. Haha what just happened!. Mickie just challenged Lizzy and is on her way to the ring right now. Hardcore Hangover Country. Lizzy looks shocked and angry as she storms to the ring while Hardcore Country starts to play in the background.

Lizzy Borden vs Mickie James

What an impromptu match this is. Fans chanting MICKIE MICKIE FUCKING JAMES OVER AND OVER!. Lizzy looks scared as she’s booed entering the ring but flips off the crowd. Mickie is feeling Hardcore and who knows how many of these matches or PPV’s she will be at. Both dressed in street gear of course. CAT FIGHT TO OPEN THIS MATCH. Announcers going crazy. Lizzy pulling on Mickie’s hair and eyes. Mickie soon fights back and of course said that she’s been working on some new things. Lizzy looks for a bronco buster but Mickie simply moves out the way. Mickie…BAAAM CHICK KICK…1…2…MICKIE LETS GO. She wants to punish Lizzy some more. MICKIE-DT TO LIZZY…1…2…MICKIE LETS GO AGAIN. What is she doing. She waits for Lizzy to get up…BAAAAM ACE CUTTER?. Or the Heart/Hardcore Cutter based on John Laurinaitis and Orton’s move?. I guess she’s got a new move…COVER…1…2…3!. Easy win for Mickie and another PPV victory in the books. She celebrates her win but not before laying out Lizzy with a Jagerbomb another new move she learnt from Martina in the crowd. A nice little bonus. Fans chant nah nah nah nah to Lizzy as she’s dragged out by security.

Triple Threat Matchup For The Ornate Prime Championship
Shawn Michaels as Special Guest Referee
WALTER (c) Vs John Cena Vs Bobby Lashley

Big fight feel here in our penultimate match. Shawn out first with one of the biggest pops of the night and we still haven’t seen that dream match between WALTER but hopefully one day. Lashley and Cena come out next getting mixed reactions but here he comes. The man they call WALTER and only WALTER. Mixed reaction for him once again as he slowly walks down to the ring…WAIT. LASHLEY JUST GRABBED THE STEEL STEPS. WHAT IS HE DOING…WAAAAAAAH LASHLEY THROWS THE STEPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AT WALTER. GOOD GOD. WALTER IS DOWN BEFORE THE MATCH EVEN BEGINS…LASHLEY CHARGES AT CENA…HE REVERSES…BAAAM AA…ARE YOU KIDDING ME ALREADY…SHAWN DECIDES TO COVER…1…2…LASHLEY JUST IN TIME. What an opening!. Walter is back in the ring asking what the fuck Shawn is doing but in German. The match hasn’t even started yet. CENA WITH AN AA TO WALTER FROM BEHIND…1…LASHLEY BREAKS IT UP. HE WAITS IN THE CORNER…BAAAAM ROLLING SPEAR FROM LASHLEY TO CENA…1…2…WALTER BREAKS IT UP NOW!. Lashley and WALTER left and rights back and forth. Lashley looks for the full nelson as Cena locks in the nelson on Lashley!. A double!. Never seen this before. BAAAM WALTER BREAKS BOTH OF THEM HOLY SHIT. WALTER WITH A DOUBLE SPLIT DROPKICK TAKING BOTH MEN DOWN. He covers and asks for Shawn to count in German but don’t think Shawn knows that. Walter gets more angry with Shawn not a good idea. WALTER with a double lariat takes both men down. Double Irish whip and a double chop. Walter charges the other corner pretending he’s about to crush Shawn but teases it only…BAAAAM DOUBLE SPEAR FROM BOTH LASHLEY AND CENA. Working together. They then fight over who should get the cover. AA!. FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE TO LASHLEY BUT WALTER IS WAITING BEHIND WITH A HUGE CHOP. POWERBOMB TO CENA ONTO LASHLEY. WALTER LOOKS FOR AND NAILS A DOUBLE LARIAT…IT’S OVER…1…2…NO BOTH MEN KICK OUT AND WALTER IS PISSED. He once again gets into the face of Shawn who’s being lenient about this…WALTER turns around before a…CHOP TO SHAWN. WHAT IS HE DOING. WALTER PICKS SHAWN UP AND WALKS HIM AROUND THE RING…NO NO…WAAAAAAH WALTER THROWS SHAWN OVER THE TOP ROPE INTO THE CROWD!!!. Holy shit the strength. WALTER goes outside the ring grabbing a title and setting it up sideways. He drags Cena out and lays him on top of it. WALTER goes back inside the ring and picks up Lashley…POWERBOMB OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO CENA THROUGH THE TABLE HOLY SHIT. AWESOME/TANAKA VIBES. WAIT…WAAAAH WALTER SUICIDE DIVES ONTO BOTH OF THEM OVER THE TOP ROPE!. Now it’s Awesome/Tanaka. Fans going crazy chanting ECW, EAM, THIS IS AWESOME ETC. It’s very hard to hate WALTER when he does things like that. Shawn is somehow up and crawled back into the ring. WALTER also back up and is going face to face with Shawn who is not happy. WALTER drags Cena and Lashley into the ring and nails a top rope splash to both men Jesus!. Maybe match of the night. WALTER again nails another top rope splash as Shawn counts but WALTER is pissed. HE SLAPS SHAWN ACROSS THE FACE AND AGAIN…BAAAAAAAM SWEET CHIN MUSIC. HBK COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE…WALTER FALLS ON TOP OF BOTH LASHLEY AND CENA…SHAWN MAKES THE COVER…1…2…3!!!. HAHAHA IT’S OVER. WHAT AN ENDING!. Shawn was responsible for Walter’s win!. He won’t be happy with that. Very original ending. Shawn was sick and tired of it so superkicked WALTER and he fell like a giant tree onto both of them getting the double pin but Shawn was responsible. Shawn is the last man standing as he leaves the ring getting cheers. He reaches the top of the entrance ramp before uh oh…he’s standing. WALTER is standing up!. He managed to get up. He puts all the titles on him and adjusts with the arms behind his back as we cut away. This one is far from over!.

It is now time for our main event of the evening but before we get to that we would like to introduce to you our commentators for the final match…JOEL GERTNER AND JOEY STYLES!. Haha awesome. Fans chant welcome back at Joel as we get ready for our main event.

Chamber of Horrors Match for The EAM World Heavyweight Championship
MJF (c) Vs Mick Foley

Here we go!. E.A.M are walking to the ring. Cornette, Sandow, Charlotte and MJF. MJF gets into the ring getting boos and stuff thrown at him but he loves it. He gets in the ring and before he even talks people chant SHUT THE FUCK UP. He buries New York and this shithole of a building and that he’s surprised can even fit all 50 of you fat fucks!. He then says he has no opponent so we might as well just end the match right now so I can leave this hell hole!. The cage begins to lower because I guess MJF wants to make it official. The cage has lowered and MJF is counting down…10…9…Sandow, Charlotte and Cornette who are in the ring with him also join in on the count…8…7…this is embarrassing. Could you imagine if the main event of a PPV ended like this?…6…5…remember this isn’t a typical cage and there’s a smaller cage in the middle which hasn’t been lowered yet. We need the ring for the match and don’t want a ring with no room to wrestle…4…3…they have completely ruined the main event after taking out Foley and with the threat that they might leave EAM and take their titles too a Khan. That would surely be the death of EAM. EAM kills EAM oh the irony. So EAM are in a tough spot right now…2…1…the lights are off. What now!?. The lights are completely off in the arena. We even hear MJF shouting turns the lights on. Someone will rob me I’m rich!.

We then hear a bunch of sounds. What the hell is that…EEEEEEEEEH…..EHHHHEEEE…all of a sudden everyone focuses on the entrance way…what is that. THAT’S A BARBED WIRE BAT. THE ONLY THING WE CAN SEE IN COMPLETE DARKNESS!. THEN WE HEAR THE EEEEHHHHEEE AGAIN…IT’S A CHAINSAW. THEN WE SEE A GIANT BALL OF FLAME GO UP INTO THE AIR BEFORE THE LIGHTS GO BACK ON…NO…NO WAY…OH MY GOD…IT’S CACTUS JACK!!!. HE’S BACK. THEY KILLED FOLEY BUT NOT CACTUS. THE MUSIC PLAYS AND STANDING NEXT TO CACTUS IS TERRY FUCKING FUNK WITH A CHAINSAW. CHARLIE IS BACK!. STANDING NEXT TO THEM ARE NOELLE AND DEWEY FOLEY HOLDING A TRASHCAN FULL OF WEAPONS AND A FUCKING FLAMETHROWER!. Maybe they borrowed it from Elon Musk haha!. This is awesome. What a moment this is at Hardcore Hangover!. The look on MJF’s face!. He sends his henchmen to close the door and lock it shut!. He makes Cornette jam his tennis racket in the door to close it!. These idiots have locked themselves inside and can’t get out now!. Funk, Cactus, Noelle and Dewey slowly walk down to the ring with the crowd going ape shit. ECW, EAM, FOLEY, FUNK CHANTS. Impossible to tell. Joey Styles and Joel Gertner are marking out at ringside!. You know Emil is smiling watching this from somewhere. MJF even teased an Emil vs MJF match for Grandslam recently!. They surround the ring trying to get into the cage. FLAME THROWER THROUGH THE CAGE BUT THEY AVOID IT AND RUN INTO THE RING. ON THE OTHER SIDE FUNK IS GOING CRAZY TRYING TO CUT THE CAGE OPEN WITH THE CHAINSAW!. He’s gotta be 80 years old!. They go around to the door of the cage entrance…THEY BURN CORNETTE’S RACKET WHILE FUNK STARTS CHAINSAWING A HOLE INTO THE DOOR HAHA. THEY’RE IN!!!. THEY SURROUND THE RING BEFORE GETTING ON THE APRON. They enter the ring and go eye to eye and toe to toe with them.

Noelle face to face with Charlotte, Dewey and Cornette, Funk and Sandow and Cactus and MJF!. What a tag match that would be!. This is awesome chants from the crowd once again. Sandow has a mark in his trunks!. He’s pissed himself!. MJF smiles and offers a truce…CACTUS SWINGS THE BARBED WIRE BAT AT MJF WHO DUCTS OUT THE WAY PUSHING SANDOW INTO CACTUS AND ROLLS OUT THE RING. FUNK JUST DRANK SOMETHING…WAAAAAH FIREBALL INTO THE FACES OF CORNETTE, SANDOW AND CHARLOTTE!. He used the flamethrower to do it!. Genius. MJF hides under the ring. They roll out the ring and the chase is on!. Dewey going after Cornette running him to the back. Noelle chasing after Charlotte sending her to the back. Funk chases after Sandow with a chainsaw!. Uh oh MJF is all alone in the cage with Cactus!. He pops his head out from under the ring and tries to crawl through the hole in the door. WAIT…NOELLE HAS THE FLAMETHROWER…WAAAAAH SHE LIGHTS THE CAGE HOLE ON FIRE BLOCKING HIM IN!. It looks like Terminator with edges of the cage burning!. This might win best moment of the year at the Slammies!.

MJF slowly crawls back into the ring begging Noelle not to burn him. Jews and ovens!. MJF turns around…BANG BANG FROM CACTUS JACK…BAAAAM DOUBLE ARM DDT!!!. COVER!!!. The referee is in the ring…1…NO WAY…2 WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION…NOOOO HE KICKED OUT. DAMN IT!. The match has just started and look at what has happened. MJF rolls out the ring…Foley runs outside with a spinning neck breaker on the floor to MJF!. Vintage Cactus!. Jack beats his ass all around the cage and into it before MJF grabs Dewey’s trash can full of weapons throwing it at Foley slowing him down. We have a match on our hands!. MJF sends Jack in the steel steps knees first before beating Jack down in the ring with the trash can. MJF said he wants to retire Foley and make this his last match. MJF puts the can over his head and starts beating him with the barbed wire bat!. MJF slides a table into the ring and grabs a sand bag from out of the can and whacks Cactus with it.

MJF looks for a Swanton bomb and nails it…1…2…NO Foley kicks out. The rules are a little different than the original Chambers match because you must get pinned before being put in the electric chair!. Makes it better. MJF looks for his finisher but Cactus or Foley reverses it with a suplex!. Foley is looking for something…MR SOCKO TO MJF HAHA. WAIT HE DECIDES TO COVER MR SOCKO IN BARBED WIRE AND SHOVE IT DOWN MJF’S THROAT!. Holy shit chants from the audience. MJF with a low blow stops it. MJF throws Foley outside the ring onto the apron then shakes the ropes knocking him into the cage wall!. MJF throws the trashcan over the top rope right at Foley. MJF with a dive over the top but he misses. Foley slams MJF onto the outside steel steps then puts the can on top of him. Foley climbs the second rope and is looking for another classic. ELBOW DROP BUT MJF MOVES AND FOLEY FLATTENS THE TRASHCAN AND LANDS ON THE STEEL STEPS OH NO. MJF starts insulting him and throwing him back into the ring for a 2 count.

MJF sets up the table. Of course Foley was in the first and last chambers match and you have to put the handle down to electrify this match. MJF puts Foley on the table but Foley kicks it off. Foley looks to reverse it but MJF beats the shit out of Foley with a barbed wire bat ripping his clothes off as it sticks onto him. RIGHT IN THE FACE. Foley covered in blood fires up. Left and rights back and forth. BAAAAM DOUBLE ARM DDT HE DID IT AGAIN BUT HE DECIDED NOT TO COVER!. Foley puts MJF on the table but what the hell Cornette is here!. Cornette has ran out to the ring and through the cage hole. HE SMACKS FOLEY OVER THE BACK WITH THE BAT BUT FOLEY NO SELLS AND MR SOCKOS CORNETTE BUT CHARLOTTE IS NOW HERE AND PULLS ON HIS HAIR. SHE HELPS MJF UP. BAAM SAND BAG TO THE HEAD. DAMN IT!. Charlotte and Cornette leave to boos as MJF opens the sand bag and oooh my it’s thumbtacks!. MJF covers the table in thumbtacks and takes Foley to the top rope!. Not this way…NO…WAIT A MINUTE FOLEY FIGHTS IT OFF. LOOKING FOR A SUPERPLEX BUT CHARLOTTE AND CORNETTE THROW TACKS IN THE EYES OF FOLEY. THAT HOLE CAME BACK TO HAUNT THEM. WHAT IS MJF DOING…NO…WAIT…WAAAAAAH SOUTH HAMPTONS PLUNGE OFF THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE!!!. Holy shit…MJF COVERS…..1…..NO PLEASE…..2…..NOOOO…..3!!!!. Damn it!. MJF keeps the title again and ruins another PPV ending!.

Fans are not happy but can’t even throw stuff at him. MJF celebrates his victory as the sounds go out while the little cage and chair comes down into the ring. This isn’t right!. MJF opens the door and puts Foley into the chair no!. WAIT FOLEY KICKS HIM OFF HAHA. FOLEY IS FIGHTING BACK. HE SMASHES MJF’S HEAD INTO THE MINI CAGE AND PUTS HIM INTO THE CHAIR YES!. Foley leave the ring, climbs the cage and pulls the lever…WAIT…SANDOW NOW IS HERE. WHERE DO THEY KEEP COMING FROM. SANDOW SMASHES FOLEY’S HEAD STOPPING THE LEVER BUT HAHA LOOK AT THIS. STYLES ANS GERTNER HAVE CLIMBED THE CAGE AND ARE PULLING ON SANDOW…..WAAAAAAAAAH SANDOW FALLS OFF THE SIDE OF THE CAGE THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!. OH MY GOD!. They couldn’t take it anymore as Foley pulls the lever but it doesn’t work because MJF is out of it. MJF attacks Foley again. Smashing his head off the outside mini cage before shoving him into it. MJF puts Foley in the chair!. HE PUSHES THE LEVER DOWN……WAAAAH HOLY FUCK. THE SPARKS GO OFF. FOLEY IS BEING ELECTRIFIED!. SPARKS AND ELECTRIC CURRENTS REIGN OUT. MJF STANDS ON TOP OF THE MINI CAGE HOLDING HIS TITLE HIGH AS THE FANS BOO BUT WE ARE LOSING CONNECTION…THE…IS BREAKING…LIVE STREAM. THE GRID AND POWER ARE CUTTING OFF. WE ARE ABOUT TO…GO OFF…THE AIR…FUCK YOU MJF!!!. We fade to black.