Hilarous sketch from Bill Baileys stand up show!
Hilarous sketch from Bill Baileys stand up show!
Current Rank
Prestige Level 3
Level 48
Current Rank
Prestige Level 3
Level 48
Current Rank
Prestige Level 3
Level 48
Current Rank
Prestige Level 3
Level 48
Current Rank
Prestige Level 3
Level 48
Thankyou. love the Crue (well mainly Nikki Sixx lol)
"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." - Coco Chanel
EeL: I love you Kellie with all my heart and soul
EeL: if I had to choose between one last gasp of oxygen or Kellie, I'd choose Kellie
Super Klawz: I LOVE YOU KELLIE!
PheTravenal: but I love you
PheTravenal: piss off!!!
Kellie: You would miss me!!!!!
PheTravenal: yes.
EeL: I love you more than Randy Orton's glistening abs
The Black Wings of Death: <3 you Kellie
The Black Wings of Death: You are awesome Kellie
4033: YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well Ive been waiting, waiting here so long
But thinking nothing, nothing could go wrong, ooh now I know
She has a built in ability
To take everything she sees
And now it seems Im falling, falling for her.
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart.
Well I dont really know her, I only know her name
But she crawls under your skin, youre never quite the same, and now i
Know
Shes got something you just cant trust
Its something mysterious
And now it seems Im falling, falling for her.
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart.
She dont like losing, to her its still a game
And though she will mess up your life,
Youll want her just the same, and now I know
She has a built in ability
To take everything she sees
And now it seems Ive fallen, fallen for her.
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart.
She seems to have an invisible touch...
Lyrics
Now in my younger days I used to sport a shag
When I went to school I carried lunch in a bag
With an apple for my teacher cause I knew Id get a kiss
Always got mad when the class was dismissed
But when it was in session, I always had a question
I would raise my hand to make her stagger to my desk and
Help me with my problem, it was never much
Just a trick, to smell her scent and try to sneak a touch
Oh, how I wish I could hold her hand and give her a hug
She was married to the man, he was a thug,
His name was lee, he drove a z,
Hed pick her up from school promptly at three oclock
I was on her jock, yes indeedy I wrote graffiti on the bus
First Id write her name then carve a plus,
With my name last, on the looking glass,
I seen her yesterday but still I had to let her pass
She keeps on passin me by...
When I dream of fairytales I think of me and shelly
See shes my type of hype and I cant stand when brothers tell me
That I should quit chasin and look for something better
But the smile that she shows makes me a go-getter
I havent gone as far as asking if I could get with her
I just play it by ear and hope she gets the picture
Im shootin for her heart, got my finger on the trigger
She could be my broad, and I could be her (*****)
But, all I can do is stare...
Back as kids we used to kiss when we played truth or dare
Now shes more sophisticated, highly edu-ma-cated
Not at all over-rated, I think I need a prayer
To get in her boots and it looks rather dry
I guess a twinkle in her eye is just a twinkle in her eye
Although shes crazy steppin, Ill try to stop her stride
Cause I wont have no more of this passin me by
And I must voice my opinion of not even pretending she didnt have me
Strung like a chicken, chase my tail like a doggie
She was kind of like a star, thinking I was like a fan
Dude, she looked good, down side: she had a man
He was a rooty-toot, a nincompoop
She told me soon your little birdies gonna fly the coop
She was a flake like corn, and I was born not to understand
By lettin her pass I had proved to be a better man
She keeps on passin me by...
Now there she goes again, the dopest ethiopian
And now the world around me be gets movin in slow motion
When-ever she happens to walk by - why does the apple of my eye
Overlook and disregard my feelings no matter how much I try?
Wait, no, I did not really pursue my little princess with persistance;
And I was so low-key that she was unaware of my existance
From a distance I desired, secretly admired her;
Wired her a letter to get her, and it went:
My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me but I know you very well
Now let me tell you about the feelings I have for you
When I try, or make some sort of attempt, I symp
Damn I wish I wasnt such a wimp!
cause then I would let you know that I love you so
And if I was your man then I would be true
The only lying I would do is in the bed with you
Then I signed sincerely the one who loves you dearly, ps love me tender
The letter came back three days later: return to sender
Damn!
She keeps on passin me by...
Lyrics
Uncle Ricky, will you read us a bedtime story?
Please, huh, please?
Allright, you kids get to bed, I'll get the storybook.
Ya'll Tucked in?
Yeah
Here we go...
Once upon a time,
Not long ago,
Where people wore pajamas and lived life slow,
Where laws where stern and justice stood,
And people were behavin' like they ought to - good,
There lived a little boy who was misslead
By another little boy,
And this is what he said:
"Me and you tike, we're gonna make some cash",
"Robbin' old folks and makin' the dash",
They did the job,
Money came with ease,
But one couldn't stop!
It's like he had a disease,
He robbed another and another,
And a sister and a brother,
Tried to rob a man who was a D.T. undercover,
The cop grabed his arm,
He started actin' eratic,
He said:
"Keep still boy, no need for static",
Punched him in his belly and gave him a slap,
But little did he know,
The little boy was strapped,
The kid pulled outta gun,
He said:
"Why'd you hit me?"
The barrell was set straight for the cop's kidney,
The cop got scared,
The kid, he starts to figure:
"I'll do years if I pull this trigger",
So he cold dashed,
And ran around the block,
Cop radios in to another ladie cop,
He ran by a tree,
There he saw the sister,
Shot for the head,
He shot back but he missed her,
Looked 'round good,
And from excpectations,
He decided he'd head for the subway stations,
But,
(what)
She was comming and he made a left,
He was running top speed,
Till he was out of breath,
Knocked and old man down,
And swore he killed him,
(sorry)
Then he made his move to an abandonded building,
Ran up the stairs up to the top floor,
Opened up a door,
There guess who he saw?
(who)
Dave! The dope fiend shootin' dope,
Who don't know the meaning of water nor soap,
He said:
"I need bullets, hurry up, run!",
The dope fiend rolled back a spankin' shot gun!
He went outside but there were cops all over,
THen he dipped into a car;
A stolen nova,
Raced up the block doin' 83,
Crashed into a tree,
Near University,
Escaped alive,
Though the car was battered,
Rat-a-tat-tatered,
And all the cops scattered,
Ran out of bullets,
And he still had static,
Grabbed the pregnant ladie,
And pulled out the automatic,
Point it at her head,
He said the gun was full of lead,
He told the cops:
"Back off, or honey here's dead",
Deep in his heart,
He knew he was wrong,
So he lets the ladie go,
And he starts to run on,
Sirens sounded,
He seemed astounded,
And, before long the boy got surrounded,
He dropped his gun,
So went the glory,
And this is the way I have to end this story,
He was only one teen in a madman's dream,
The cops shot the kid,
I still here him scream,
This ain't funny,
So don't ya' dare laugh,
Just another case about the wrong path,
Straight and narrow,
Or your soul gets cast,
Goodnite.
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Am I alone in your heart?
Have I hope with your heart?
She's such a teaser, she's such a star.
Give me a reason or gimme a chance.
Am I alone in your heart, or am I alone... ?
It tears me apart.
Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Give me an evening, or give me a night.
I'll show you the time, of your life.
I'll walk you home safe, from the dark.
I'll give you my jacket, I'll give you my heart.
But she won't come dancing tonight, She's having the time of her life.
Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
I do love, she does heartbreak.
I did love, till she broke my heart.
I do love, she does heartbreak.
I did love, till she broke my heart.
I do love, she does heartbreak.
I did love, till she broke my heart.
I do love, she does heartbreak.
I did love, till she broke my heart.
Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
I skip a heartbeat for you.
Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.
I skip a heartbeat for you
Current Rank
Prestige Level 3
Level 48