thanks, i love them. oh by the way did you hear that some scientists in scotland have stopped using rats in experiments. When asked why, he said: 'Cause there is only so much a rat will do.'
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The scene, is heaven. St Peter is going through the log booksto check that everybody who is here should be. he checks the book, against the pictures of those who are here and he notices that one person is missing. So in a panic he runs up to the big man (god) and says: 'I'm sorry my lord but it seems that some one is missing'. God Replies ' Who?' Peter says ' A plumber named Andrew McMaster- he was the only honest plumber in Galsgow.'
'Jesus!' says God jesus walks in and says ' Yes father? ' It's ok never mind. Look I know exactly where he'll be, get on the phone to that skinny bastard Satan and tell him we want oor plumber back (incase you didn't know God is scottish).
says God. Peter replies 'Ok My lord.' and phones the devil and explaines the predicement. He returns ten minutes later and God says. ' So where is he? He's not coming. Satan says that they are keeping him because, he is a great plumber, and he fixed the central heating. So it's not as hot down there now. He says it's nice and cool, half an eternity of being constintly hotwas enough. replies Peter. God says ' Right! I'll talk to him.' God gets off his chair and walks to the phone. ' Hey arsehole! We want oor plumber, don't make me come doon there. The devil replies ' come on down, I'm not scared of you. God says ' rightthat's it, you like heel's bad, lets see how you like it when I send you to France.' Peter whispers in Gods ear. God: You know what I'm not going to send you to France, I'm going to sue you.

The Devil Is quite for a second then replies: Haha, good luck finding a lawyer up there!